Escape to the Movies: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

[hexFrank202]

Bob's nº2 rule: "Whenever I review a film I don't like I have to blatantly insult whoever may like it at least once"

Fanboy Rule #1: Whenever I feel that an internet critic has insulted me, I must then go @#$%@ about it in the comments.

Hey ClanCrusher, yeah you! Every time you talk, chocolate pudding drizzles out of your mouth. Your cousins all take pictures of you naked while you sleep. Every thursday afternoon, you run out into cornfields and shove corn husks down your ears.

Now, don't respond to everything I just said. Because if you do, it will just prove that it is true! What, are you BOTHERED when people say bad things about you? You want to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF? Pcheh, how pathetic!

You know, normally I like movie bobs reasoning and videos.. But this time.. Fuck you bob.

Thank you for this post. Maybe soon he'll get the idea.

I rather liked the movie, that doesn't mean I shouldn't drive or vote. Just because someone has a differed opinion than your elitist ass, they must be idiots and retard?

I wouldn't call him 'elitist' in this regard. He's just being a dick. He knows he's not better than anyone. He knows he's gone his life feeling like crap. I can tell by the way he talks about the world, the way he talks about his past. He has major confidence and self-respect issues. This show happens to be a platform where he can hopefully blow off some of that steam.

I will keep watching the show, but I lost a lot, A LOT, of respect for you on this one. You should be ashamed.

Yes he should be. HOWEVER, I have not lost any respect for him, because I have never had any. Well, I do, but I don't. *ahem* let me explain.

Bob is cool. Bob is awesome. I love Bob and all his shows. He is funny, he is entertaining, he makes good videos and is very eloquent and interesting to listen to, and he has an awesome, unforgettable voice. That's where I have respect for him. His opinions, however, I have never cared for. They suck.

I mean, who here ever actually saw Splice? Wasn't it stupid? What kind of 'high minded thinkers movie' is it? I mean it was okay, but it was just the same 'crazy scientist(s) creates monster and debates about the value of life and the meaning of humanity ensue' story we've seen plenty of times. Oh and hey, you know what I assume of people who like the movie? NOTHING!

 

[Mrsoupcup]

I for one am not going to see it until it's 2 bucks in the bargain bin and I have a decent supply of Vodka.


Edit: I'm going to take a shot every time I hear "NONONONONONONO"

 

[kuroikitsune]

Kurio you've been sparring with me, what did you think of teh review/movie. I havent seen the movie yet cause ive been working nights all week but i fully intend on seeing it.

Honestly, I think that other MovieBob being a little hyperbolic about his feelings towards the fans of Michael Bay films, that the review was really good. Movie Bob has every right to be upset, to be honest. The reason that these mediocre films like Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Green Lantern get made is because the studios know that if there are enough explosions that people will watch it.

Movie Bob's episode on "The Numbers" is one of the most important discussions on modern film making that I've seen. It takes fans and studios to task on the quality of the cinema coming out in the US. Big businesses like studios are risk averse especially when they are spending 150-300 million dollars on the production and marketing of a single film. These studios have figured out the formula and are using it for almost every blockbuster film. Micahael Bay is just the most egregious offender of the bunch. Mediocre popcorn films like Transformers are getting made and making money, while excellent films like Scott Pilgrim fail at the box office or Tree of Life which can't get a true wide release.

I haven't seen Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and I won't see it. I won't pay money to a system that makes films that I despise. I'll save my money for Captain America (if the reviews are good) or David Fincher's remake of The Girl with Dragon Tattoo. If I want to watch action movies I have plenty of great action films to choose from. Action films that have a plot and characters like Die Hard, Heat, or the Matrix. If enough of these poorly directed, poorly acted and boring Special Effects filled movies fail, then Hollywood will stop making them and focus on movies with story and character. Not every movie has to be an Oscar contender, but no movie should be able to assume that fans are just gonna pay because of its title and the explosions in the trailer.

As George Lucas used to say, Special Effects are there to serve the story, a movie with special effects but no story is just boring. If you want to see a really good recent movie that uses special effects watch Monsters. It was a really good, cheaply made monster film where the special effects serve a purpose. It's just about these two people trying to get through a monster infested area. No, there aren't a lot of giant monsters. Yes, they talk and fall in love. But it's a superior film to Transformers.

Another film that has great special effects is Black Swan. The use of editing, trick camera techniques, and limited CGI really makes for some creepy shots. I was more impressed with Black Swan's subtle use of CGI than I will ever be with Bay's over the top Transformers films.

My recommedation is to save the 10 plus dollars you were going to spend on Transformers: Dark of the MOon and use it to pay for a month of Hulu Plus or Netflix. For that you can watch 30 films from the Criterion Collection, or great foreign films, or heck you can probably rent 10 films from a Red Box and watch those. In this case you can get more quality and much more quantity for your movie dollar.

 

[kuroikitsune]

Movie Bob's episode on "The Numbers" is one of the most important discussions on modern film making that I've seen. It takes fans and studios to task on the quality of the cinema coming out in the US. Big businesses like studios are risk averse especially when they are spending 150-300 million dollars on the production and marketing of a single film. These studios have figured out the formula and are using it for almost every blockbuster film. Micahael Bay is just the most egregious offender of the bunch. Mediocre popcorn films like Transformers are getting made and making money, while excellent films like Scott Pilgrim fail at the box office or Tree of Life which can't get a true wide release.

Not trying to be rude, or insulting, so please don't take it that way; but you should watch other, far more respectable sources on the subject. Bob's take was vague, misinformed and colored heavily by his own bias. There are numerous better articles and videos on the subject, all with far more valuable info on why some films make money and how the business that works for some doesn't for others.

I would love to see your sources. Seriously! I could really use another perspective on that. And you are right that Movie Bob's perspective is a bit biased, but all sources have their own bias. Send me the links please! Thanks in advance.

But to disagree with you. Whether or not Movie Bob's opinion is biased, he does make an excellent point. Box office numbers determine what movies get made and what movies don't get made. That's a real shame. ANd I think that Movie Bob's point is just that. Middle of the road, Special Effects films with no real ambition are made and watered down so they appeal to a huge audience, because they have to. They need to make back the 200 million dollar budget.

I first really started going to the movies in 1994 when I got my driver's license. That was the peak of independent film in the 90s. So, my bias is for smaller, independent films, and I'm not going to be ashamed of that bias. I can enjoy a big budget film; I loved Iron Man and X-Men, X-Men First Class, and Thor. Hell, I even liked Independence Day despite it's ridiculous ending. But I'm not really happy with the current trend towards mediocre special effects vehicles. It's boring.

 

[Nincompoop]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

 

[kuroikitsune]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

I really didn't want to reply to your post. I don't think there is anything constructive that I could say that would change or inform your opinion on the subject. Besides, does using fuck 5 times in 7 sentences really help your argument?

However, I would like to discuss your idea that spending more money equals a better film. There are numerous examples of big budget films that are absolutely terrible. Heaven's Gate, Waterworld, Howard the Duck, Battlefield Earth, North, Soldier, and I could keep going. A film studio can spend a LOT of money and produce a terrible film. Here's the kicker! They can make a terrible film and then realize it's a terrible film, but they have to release it anyway to make back some of the money spent on it. And everyone involved knows that through some combination of mistakes, the finished film is horrible. Bad editing, poor choice in actors, bad performances, poor CGI or special effects, bad script, bad choice in directors, bad script rewrite to appease the director or star, cost overruns on special effects, etc. A lot of times the finished product is less than the sum of its parts.

And you wind up with a film that is just awful but maybe the special effects are good or one actor had an awesome perfomance, or there was one line of dialogue that was awesome. No one is saying that the people who made Transformers are terrible at their individual jobs.

Michael Bay has made some decent action films like The Rock. The special effects in Transformers and the 3D are reportedly VERY good. However, the sum total of all this is a mediocre film from a director that admits he doesn't like the source material.

Even the best directors in the world make bad films. Look at Steven Spielberg who made some of the great classics of 1980s and defined the childhoods of many of us. He also made 1941 which was awful. Francis Ford Coppola who made both Apocalypse Now and The Godfather killed his career with one terrible film, One From the Heart.

You can spend a fortune on a film and it can be terrible. It's like anything else. Sometimes hard work and effort just don't pay off.

Of course, I've now expended all this effort replying to your 7 sentences and I won't have accomplished my goal either. See...happens to us all.

 

[kuroikitsune]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

One more small note:
Joel Schumacher famously spent a good portion of the directory commentary for Batman & Robin apologizing for how bad the film is.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

I really didn't want to reply to your post. I don't think there is anything constructive that I could say that would change or inform your opinion on the subject. Besides, does using fuck 5 times in 7 sentences really help your argument?

However, I would like to discuss your idea that spending more money equals a better film. There are numerous examples of big budget films that are absolutely terrible. Heaven's Gate, Waterworld, Howard the Duck, Battlefield Earth, North, Soldier, and I could keep going.

Heaven's Gate, now that was one that was SO BAD that it not only killed the talented Cimino's career, it also pretty much killed the entire New Hollywood movement. To this day it also pretty much prevented director-dictated film (One From the Heart didn't help either), for better and for worse.

 

[Valkyr71]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

One more small note:
Joel Schumacher famously spent a good portion of the directory commentary for Batman & Robin apologizing for how bad the film is.

And it was right for him to do so. He should have also refunded anyone who wanted thier money back on the film. It was an abysmal movie. I have to disagree with you on waterworld and soldier being bad. I liked waterworld and thought it was a very interesting concept. I wasnt impressed with the cinematography per se as much as I was with the story and the charachters and the whole post-apocalyptic earth being under water idea was one that hadnt really been hit on that well. And Soldier was interesting because your main charachter hardly speaks at all. I like that concept. Also it shows him as discarded and having to become different. Anti-establishement movie? Yes, and i generally dont support those types But i saw soldier far after it had come out on video and after i had been force retired from the military for PTSD, so maybe I'm a bit biased on that one.

 

[Siege_TF]

[quote Bob]I just wanna turn off my brain and see robots fight![/quote]
God damned shame that's only 20% of the movie, ain't it?

 

[jecht35]

yeah the one time were I just want to see all out robot action and I just got in total probable 30mins out of a 2 1/2 hour movie thanks michale bay.

 

[Duck_Man52]

I haven't seen the movie yet but I know for a fact I'm not going to like it. I keep think of the same questions every time I see the transformers movies. "Why do the robots take seconded fiddle to Shia LaBeouf love life?" "Why is Shia LaBeouf doing in my Transformers movie?" Why are the humans doing more than the autobots? Plus I keep on saying F#@k you, Michael Bay! Every time the stupid trailer comes on. No more transformer movies done by Michael Bay.

 

[Mangue Surfer]

"I'm tired of mediocrity! Only a superhero film can cheer me up again!"

I'm just me or is this a contradiction?

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

Oh. My. God. The Snob and Spoony collaborate on ripping this movie a new one. AWESOME.

http://spoonyexperiment.com/2011/07/03/spoony-and-brad-uncensored-on-transformers-3/

 

[matt87_50]

hey, something just occurred to me with regards to the "battle scenes always have the transformers in the background and focus on the boring people!!!"

you mentioned yourself that the special effects are good. I have a theory in defense of the above point:

An action scene with transformers involves producing some of the most detailed and amazing CGI ever seen on screen.

An action scene with the people involves a couple of basic stunts that merely risks the lives of some expendable B grade actors.


Ironically... want more transformers in the foreground? clearly Michael Bay needs more of your money!

 

[twm1709]

Fanboy Rule #1: Whenever I feel that an internet critic has insulted me, I must then go @#$%@ about it in the comments.

Oh but see, that's the funny thing. I don't like the transformers movies either. I didn't like Scream 4, or the Expendables either. I don't take issue with his opinion on pretty much anything except how he can't help himself in each of those reviews to make everyone who likes it a moron, like it's the only way to drive his point home.

 

[Jyggalag]

Is it just me or did Bob turn into the "Yahtzee reviewer" of movies? Instead of telling us what not to watch, why not review a good movie for a change? Seriously, I haven't seen a good movie for about 6 months. Then again, this is only a prediction as I have yet to watch this week's show. I guess I'll find out in the first 10 seconds.

 

[Mettking]

My sister saw this a few days ago, and the entire theater booed when the Sears Tower was called the Willis Tower. Guess where this theater is located.