Escape to the Movies: Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part Two

[Nalgas D. Lemur]

Actually speaking of stewart. I tried to watch "Snow White and the huntsman" this week because I was told the action was good but the story boring. Understatement HUGE understatement. The entire movie is just stewart and friends muddling around doing nothing interesting for an hour or so then they fight Theron. I skipped around but still couldn't bring myself to finish it. Stewart is the more dull uninteresting person I've ever had to watch on screen.

I just saw that recently too. It was visually rather nice, and I stuck with it largely for that, but man was the acting a mess. It was like they told Charlize Theron to overact enough to make up for the fact that Kristen Stewart has so little range, so both of their performances were terrible. The music was surprisingly good though.

 

[scw55]

Oh so Bella's child doesn't go to Edward and be like:
You have three choices:

1) Destroy the evil guys
2) Merge with the evil guys
3) Control the evil guys

?

 

[Britisheagle]

Thank fuck this one is better than the others. I have had to sit through the first 4 thanks to aquiring a girlfriend and she is dying to see this new one.

And thank God it's over.

 

[Azeal]

mwhahahahaha, the main reason I fucking hated the ending to that series is changed! Sorta.

Well at least there's still a fight of epic scale. May see it just for that.

 

[Nuttydwarf]

I watched the vid just to see movie bob's reaction to it.... now excuse me, I need to go wash my brain with bleach

 

[Nghtgnt]

So... what you're saying is... this movie is potentially the best episode of MST3K ever?

 

[TheSchaef]

Come to think of it, Michael Sheen also seemed to be the only one having fun in TRON: Legacy, as well. Don't get me wrong, I liked TRON, it's just he was the one guy to really make his character stand out. I mean, think about it, name the characters in the movies. Well, there's Jeff Bridges, digital Jeff Bridges, son of Jeff Bridges, 13's skintight outfit, and that guy who ran the club; he was pretty cool.

That's when you know you have a wicked talented actor, when he can alter your overall impression of a movie just by being in it for ten minutes. See also: Jack Nicholson getting an Oscar for nomination being in the first and last scene of A Few Good Men.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

IT WAS ALL A DREAM?!

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[yunabomb]

This review was very different than what I was expecting it to be.

 

[General Vengeance]

Sorry I cannot in good conscience financially support a horrible movie, despite how unintentially "fun" it turns out to be. Simply due to the mindset of Hollywood, "look it made money, lets make more of the same." NO! FUCK NO!

 

[chozo_hybrid]

I'm glad it seems to be over, but people seem to forget, the main characters have a kid and these films have been on giant cash cow that they could still milk if they want.

It would not surprise me if they find an excuse to make more.

Can we just get back to having awesome vampires now?

Can someone just make a Legacy of Kain series of movies.... and have it stick to the games plot? Because that would be swell.

No, I think Vampires need to stand down from fiction for a little while to let this set of films/books be forgotten.

As for your suggestion, yes I would love it, no it wouldn't happen. People can't get a simple video game plot to work in films, so one as complicated as LoK, nah. Don't see it happening.

 

[Upbeat Zombie]

I'll probably go see this movie with the gf. And from the sound of it, the end of this movie might make it pretty interesting. Although I've never really sat down and fully watched any of the Twilight movies so maybe i don't know what i'm getting into.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

...Wow, I kinda want to see this movie now... preferably when the Rifftrax version comes out (though I'm also anticipating what certain other movie reviewers have to say on the matter).

But seriously, I'm so glad this franchise is finally at an end. There's nothing good about it, and yet millions of stupid tween girls actually like this shit.

(Say what you will about "Vampires Suck", the bit with "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" fans duking it out is wonderfully carthatic, at least to me, anyway.)

 

[Aureliano]

I already loved the original four movies in the series. What's more fun that watching even noted bad actors Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson realize that they could do better than this movie but who don't so as to avoid squashing the retarded goose that laid the golden egg? Who didn't enjoy the loud denials that dreamy suitors Edward and Jacob loved penis and only penis, or could avoid noticing the off-camera erection that Bella's dad, Charlie, got every time his daughter was in the room?

This one just...tries to be good. It's not people turning in worse work than their best and biting their tongue just to keep from laughing at their own audience of ridiculously misguided tweenage girls and fanfic-writing middle aged women with a very elementary idea of how sex works, but an attempt to make a watchable movie. Well I didn't want a watchable movie, I wanted Twilight!

 

[Callate]

I don't know if I'll bother with the movie. I've been known to see bad movies knowing exactly what they were going to be from time to time, but going in to see a bad blockbuster still feels like I'm voting for the suits to make more bad blockbusters.

But the review was a hell of a lot of fun, so thanks for that.

Oh, and incidentally- I saw Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman at the local second-run theater not too long ago, and she was... okay... as long as all she had was an individual line or two and everyone around her was spending all their time glowing about how shucks-darn special this Snow White is. But then she has her "rouse the people to fight tyranny" speechlette, and I was genuinely blitzed as to how much of the scene's utter failure was bad writing and how much was Stewart. It's the only such scene where I expected the peasants to go, "Hip-Hip- Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout! Hip-Hip-Wewouldlikesomeclarificationplease!"

 

[Triaed]

Man I can't wait for this movie to come out on The Movie Network so that I can change the channel to Honey Boo boo!

It is so awesome that it is finally over. Now we can look forward to the 50 Shades of Grey movies. Yay!

 

[JimB]

Once you cut out the silent moments--mostly in the credits--I figure MovieBob is talking for about six and a half minutes in this review, and almost every second of it has his voice quivering with barely suppressed laughter. That is amazing to me. Have you ever been able to suppress your laughter for that long? How many cobbled-together takes did this review take?

I love this review without irony or mockery. His voice being right on the edge of completely losing his shit for the entirety of it is just funny to me, is all.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I've only seen the first one on HBO because I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. I barely made it. Fuck you Bob, now I have to go see this. I laughed the whole time while listening to your review.

 

[Darth_Payn]

I can't help it, any time someone says "deus ex Machina" I can't help but imagine JC Denton coming onto the scene and just kicking the required amount ass to make everything OK

Either him of Adam Jensen, what with his arm-swords for lethal takedowns.

 

[MowDownJoe]

I find it funny that last year during Desert Bus, you mentioned something about Bella going Super Sayian, and then I see this on Twitter in the morning [https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/269302297882947586]:

In fact, god dammit - THAT'S "Breaking Dawn: Part 2" in one sentence: It's Douglas Sirk directing an episode of Dragonball Z.