Escape to the Movies: Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part Two

[Guffe]

Bob you're giving me a heartattack here saying it's good!!! )
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!

Althou I think I'll have to watch the fight scene at some point.

 

[newwiseman]

Now I never have to hear anyone talk about twilight ever again... w00t!

I am surprised to hear that these movies finally got one so bad it's good.. er hmm well mostly. I won't watch it, ever, but that's because I don't want to encourage this pile of a series.

 

[teebeeohh]

so you are saying this movie finally penetrated the barrier between "mediocre to just bad" and flew into the heights of "room-level hilarity" the GF wants to watch this anyway so i may just have fun

 

[klaynexas3]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the black hole of movies. Its star burned brightly and swiftly; then it collapsed under it's own weight and took everyone involved with it.

Spoiler

My hopes got so high when Bob was describing that action sequence. I could just imagine all the wailing screams of the fan girls as Hollywood said "No more, we will redeem this shit at all costs". It was a delicious moment, then he told us it was all a dream, and much like the described reaction of the audience at the screening I exclaimed "Bullshit." Oh they were so close to giving Myers the finger and salvaging the finale. I almost can't blame them though; I know I wouldn't want to face the ire of its psychotic fan base.

If you ask me, it's like Fight Club where Tyler slips images of porn into kids movies for the fuck of it. Doesn't change anything, just fucks with people.

It's the giant passive aggressive middle finger of comparison if you ask me. This isn't the shoving one middle finger in the face of the fans, this is shoving the middle finger of a good ending, and then the second middle finger of showing the shit one and why it is utter, utter shite. Honestly, it's still passive aggressive, but I enjoy that much better, because when done properly, a good passive aggressive attack can be much better than a straight forward "fuck you" to something.

 

[Jennacide]

So basically, if you're the kind of person that enjoys The Room and Birdemic, go see this?

Dammit, might have to finally see one of these stupid movies.

 

[LordLundar]

Can we just get back to having awesome vampires now?

Can someone just make a Legacy of Kain series of movies.... and have it stick to the games plot? Because that would be swell.

Lok movie I can see. Sticking to the plot I can kind of see, It actually selling well?

Ehhh....

Look, I love the LoK series, it's awesome (well most of it, BO2 can go to hell) and I am a big proponent of it's story. It breaks the stereotypes but keeps the concepts and it does it in a way that makes sense.

But the plot itself is a literary equivalent to a Charlie Foxtrot. It is a MASSIVE headache trying to sort it out. I can see many a filmgoer coming out with their head permanently lopsided as they try to sort out the plot.


Back on Topic now..

So Bob, you are essentially saying that while the ticket price isn't justified by the movie itself, it's justified at being pure unintentional schadenfreude?

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

Well THAT was certainly unexpected. I was prepared for Bob to unload his usual "my GOD this shit is awful" tirade, I NEVER expected he would have recommended we go SEE the damn thing, even if it is only because it's So Bad It's Good.

Also surprised that he genuinely LIKED the action scene. Previous Twilight movies had action scenes in them and he always lambasted them as being awful. I'm surprised he didn't talk more about the firector responsible for the movie, whoever it is they must have had SOME talent to get that to work, even if it was completely undone by the reveal that it's "all just a dream".

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

......Dafuk did I just watch?
And Dafuk did Moviebob just Watch?

Still, the idea of the entire cast of this god-awful franchise dying painfully sounds like something so awesome I can't even begin to imagine.

Just this ending sucks because of one massive plot hole:
If the villains were going to kill the heroes then....Then what is stopping them from trying again later with more men on their side.....

OH DEAR GOD! THERE MIGHT BE ANOTHER MOVIE!

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I can't help it, any time someone says "deus ex Machina" I can't help but imagine JC Denton coming onto the scene and just kicking the required amount ass to make everything OK

Either him of Adam Jensen, what with his arm-swords for lethal takedowns.

This is what comes to my mind.

 

[AlexanderPeregrine]

If that battle is nearly as good as Bob and some other reviewers make it out to be, 20th Century Fox would be stupid not to approach Bill Condon with one of those gigantic novelty paychecks to get him to direct a proper X-Men movie.

 

[ewhac]

This review is one for the archives, Bob. Thanks!

 

[Steve the Pocket]

I laughed my head off just watching the review. I don't think I need to see the movie now.

And I don't know why people are saying the movie "almost" gave Stephanie Meyer the finger. It DID. Maybe not intentionally (though how they could possibly not realize what they were doing, I can't imagine), but by actually showing the climactic battle and then revealing it all to be a dream, they showed every single person who went to see the movie because they genuinely like Twilight how bad the series' canon really is compared to what any decent writer would have come up with.

If it was done on purpose, congratulations, creative team. You have eternally won my respect. If it was by accident... you have my sympathy. You've still done the world a great service, and for that I cannot bring myself to criticize you. And good luck living down being responsible for the worst film franchise to become this popular in possibly forever.

 

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

I didn't know that turning a child into a vampire was supposed to be a heinous crime in the Twilight universe. I'm sure she stole that bit from Anne Rice.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll watch it when the Rifftrax comes out. I'm going to spend as little money as possible on this movie, since I really don't want to support them.

 

[Xisin]

I went to see this with four friends of mine. We sat in the front row because we were hoping that someone would die and we could do an improve dance when it happened.

We were so happy for ten minutes...

So, so very bad. Completely and utterly terrible. Micheal Sheen's laugh, when he hears Renesme's(sp?) heartbeat, saves this entire movie though. Please someone out there make a loop. I want it as my ring tone or for my morning alarm.

 

[Pipotchi]

I watched the second and fourth films whilst doing other stuff. Obviously they are both utter twaddle but Michael Sheen is glorious! Just hamming it up and devouring the scenery. Plus he's a great actor so he's allowed to have fun in this trainwreck. i hope he got a good paycheck because he deserves it

 

[Crazy Zaul]

Before I would have never even considered watching a minute of this.
Now I'm wondering whether to watch the whole thing or just the final battle...

 

[CharrHearted]

Call this movie Queen, because the Twilight series finally...

*puts on sunglasses*

...bites the dust.

it's official, I love you.

XD

 

[Darth Sea Bass]

After this review I just texted my girlfriend saying we're going to see this tonight. She's an unapologetic fan of the series so she's incredibly happy and I'm going to get laid tonight. Thanks Bob!

Sir we salute you!

 

[The_Waspman]

Aww, this makes me *sad face*.

One one hand, I have infinite amounts of shame in admitting that I've seen the first three movies (I have friends who really like this gay vampire shit) but haven't seen Breaking Dawn part 1 (Even I have my limits).

But this review makes it sound like this might be worthwhile. And considering fuck all else came out this week for me to go and see...

So what do I do? Go and see this shit (but apparently very funny for it) film, or go see Skyfall for the third time?

 

[Rad Party God]

So, pretty much Highlander meets Dragon Ball Z with Vampires and Werewolves... those 5 to 10 minutes alone almost make this movie worthwhile. Almost.