Escapicon 2008

[Labyrinth]

My dear Tess, you're trying to bump the Cockney thread for me, aren't you? I'm touched.

NewClassic is SkyNet.

Okay, description selected. I'm in.

Dearest Taylor, sorry to disappoint, but it's not all about you as much as you'd like to think. Don't let that SkyNet head get too big.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

Interested, but:
A) Bunkbeds? BUNKBEDS?!?! I hate bunkbeds, on that topic I get bottom!!! Thought you were gonna get my bed didn't ya.
B) I'm interested, fearful and I think Ultrajoe could have used my description (it was a sentence damn it)
C) Here's who I am..I guess:

Spoiler

Reaperman Wompa is hard to define, because Reamperman Wompa is hard to understand. His exact specifications are unknown, and it is unclear as to whether or not the sound of a shoe scuffing behind you in the dark alley, or the footsteps you hear while you're in bed at night, are Wompa. Be him human, or otherwise, Wompa is said to exist where peril is close-behind. Almost a modern Jack the Ripper, but never once successfully accused of murder. His MO is always different, yet he is uniformly unseen and uncaught whenever people barely scrape by and report their near-death experience. It is theorized, although not known, that Wompa is responsible for 79% of the unsolved murders around the world at any given time. The only time taken to court, whose file has since mysteriously vanished, his defense was so iron-clad that his preliminary hearing was dismissed, and the trial dropped after the first day. Upon looking for the jurors in that trial, you'll find that they'll all mysteriously died, with no suspects.

Though I do rather like:

Spoiler

Reaperman Wompa was spawned in a questionable lab hidden in the jungles of peru by a group of men trying to create the ultimate super solider, In Reaperman Wompa, they failed utterly, but that didn't stop him from butchering them like sheep and he escaping into the jungles. he remained hidden for several years, occasionally sneaking into cities to post on The Escapist and read Discworld Novels.

You forgot: and set fire to fire stations while screaming "What now Biatch!?".

...And I just realized I'm seven...

 

[Labyrinth]

And here is a collaborative work. Labyrinth: An Egoist Tale.

Spoiler: Warning: Concentrated amounts of Awesome detected.

Labyrinth is a 12 foot tall Valkyrie now in charge of Microsoft Customer Relations. She carries a whip and a book entitled "Customers: Helping is a sin". On Her weekends she likes to burn down red barns because she violently hates stereotypes. She once attended a Rage Against The Machine concert and upon entering the mosh Pit killed 34 other participants by looking at them. 90% of people in Texas have signs that say "You don't mess with Labyrinth", the other 10% have it tattooed somewhere on their bodies.

She has a ferret called Rickmaff Wiggley III of Kannahookah.

In the early years of her life, Labyrinth actually helped Gordon Freeman escape City 17-she was the one that reminded him to reload... lots. As a result of the citadels explosion she was transported by portal to the true plain of Nirvana. She became one with all the universe and saw everything in perfect clarity. She could divide by zero. She knew who was hiding on the grassy knoll. She was so all-knowing and omniscentient even pronouns referring to Her were capitalised and put in italics. After getting very drunk one night and making a fool of Zeus at a rather violent game of Backgammon, the gods banished Her to haunt the endless catacombs of the largest and most complex maze that would ever be created by man, though it didn't take Her long to escape. She is the sole reason we silly humans have yet to succeed in creating strangelets and microscopic black holes to destroy the earth, She won't let us. She's often seen drinking at the Cthulian Cafe or playing horeshoes with with TZZZRghgghgLM-I Twins, She quite liked it there and was not quite ready for the world to end yet.

For the time between then and Her job with Microsoft, Labyrinth was an Irish fiddle player. She left part-way through and Icelandic tour due to artistic differences, and while She continues to play, She has yet to go back to the same style of music. Presently, Labyrinth spends Her time in between mosh pits and work Rocking The Fuck Out with various metal bands.

Despite all the evidence rumours persist that She is some sort of freakishly artistic robot sent to do untold horrors to Mankind. She wishes to state that this is slander, and that She is greatly crushed by such ill faith in Her simple flesh-and-Win form.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Anarchemist is a teacher with an apple

An apple of sorts. Assertion: This will do.

 

[Labyrinth]

With a four foot sword swung over one shoulder, and her Customer Relations bible hanging from her belt, Labyrinth lifted her face and grinned across the room. She settled her hands upon the podium for a second before adjusting the microphone to better suit her stature.

"Ladies, gentlemen and bots," she began. "I now declare this 2008 Escapicon open."

A flourish, and she indicated the projection to her left. "Over the course of the next few days there will be a number of presentations from upstanding members of our community. Benjamin Croshaw will be giving his Zero Punctuation review, and we are expecting speeches from others including Ultrajoe. It is my hope that you will enjoy your time here, and please remember to keep fights to the Interweb. We don't need blood staining the carpet."

 

[000Ronald]

As soon as Labyrinth finishes her speech, the ground begins to shake, as though a massive impact struck the ground far away. For a second it seemed like just an odd occurence, and several people let their guard down

but then it happened again

and it was closer this time

Still, there were those who tried to ignore it. Valiant as their efforts were, they were no match for the roar of the earth as whatever beohemouth was to descend upon them drew closer.

Eventually, all those around stared into the distance.

And through the mist, a shape began to take form. It was...

The Dragonzord Megazord!

Everyone stared in amazement; some of them had heared of the Dragonzord Megazord, but none had seen it in action. Easilly reaching fifty stories, it was amazing to behold. The top of it could not even be seen.

But what was this? It seemed as though something was descending from the top of the megazord ...perhaps it was the famed Green Ranger, come to pay them a visit-

No, it couldn't be. Whoever it was appeared to be dressed in black, and with some sort robe...

There were cheers all around as The Logician landed on the ground gently, using Advanced Logci Technique no. 2. He waved to his admierers, then turned to the Dragonzord Megazord.

"THANKS FOR THE RIDE!" he yelled.

The Dragonzord Megazord gave The Logician a salute. "Anytime" a voice from within echoed. Could it be that The Logician knew the Green Ranger?

The Megazord began to walk away just as a flock of people began to throng around The Logician. Today is gonna be a good day, he thought.

Spoiler: Over the top enough for ya?

I decided to go with the "President Mobius/Ninjas" incarnation, becasue that was the most fun. I'm also assuming people dont' hate me anymore becuase I rescued the president.

So, yeah, that's that. My introduction is there. Let's have a few more.

 

[Blind0bserver]

His arrival went unnoticed, or at least at first. The spectacle put forward by The Logician was to thank for that. No mater, attention didn't matter to him. It never had.

The double doors in the back of the conference hall opened and he strode forth. He was dressed in a black leather duster with details of white trimming the edges and a belt going across the waist. White leather gauntlets covered his hands, which were folded against his back as he walked. His face was completely covered by a finely polished helmet made of steel. One half of the helmet was the darkest of blacks, while the other half was as brightest white. Either side had a small rectangle colored in the opposite color, appearing to act as his eyes. It wasn't clear how he could even see out of it. The only thing flawing the helmet's otherwise perfect beauty was a single black tear, painted to be frozen in place under the white side's eye.

He walked down the center row of the conference room with both confidence and purpose, his gaze toward the front of the room never breaking. As he walked past onlookers couldn't help but stare, for he attracted their gaze without so much as trying. His very movements, if not his presence, seemed to demand the attention of all in the room, and without question they gave it. The man in black and white walked up onto the stage. With a brief nod of acknowledgment to Labrynth, he casually sat in one of the empty chairs intended for the various speakers.

All eyes in the room were on him. He sat and said nothing. There was no need to. He was Vanguard, the Patriarch of a gaming empire he forged with his own two hands. He would have plenty of time to speak his mind soon enough...

 

[Anarchemitis]

"Correction: Are. Where are the toilets." Corrected HK-47A, stepping into the room with an automatonic atmosphere of abrasion.
"Conjecture: I have thoroughly analyzed the surroundings and have taken note of any possible escapes for implacable plans I have. They are located behind the De-Rez vestibule, meatbag."

 

[Anarchemitis]

A swift pivot and ignoring repose rendered Necroswanson behind himself, 47Anarchemitis looked to the Dragonzord Megazord & Labyrinth.
"Greeting: Delighted to be here."

 

[Labyrinth]

Her steps heavy like lead slabs falling to the ground, she heads for the bar, stepping behind it in order to make herself a ristretto shot. The tamper is perfect, and as she brews the sound wafts across the room. Tiny cup in one enormous hand, she sips at it with a degree of delicacy one would not expect.

"Ah, amusement," the Valkyrie muttered, settling herself against a wall. One hand holds the cup, the other blurred as it splays across the keys of a keyboard, typing faster than the eye can see.

 

[Blind0bserver]

In the main hall things were going nowhere, and slowly. Van sighed a sigh of annoyance. He wasn't sure why he expected anything less. After all, every last one of the Escapists was in this building with the majority of them in this room.

He rose from his seat at the side of the stage and began to walk out of the conference hall, leaving in much the same manner that he entered. Being mindful of the bloodstained man trying to provoke a fight with what appeared to be an android, Van walked out of the room without acknowledging anyone. Outside of the room in the building's main lobby he was greeted by his small entourage.

He had brought two of his clan officers with him for this trip. The first was Rawr, a woman with shoulder length rust colored hair that was capable of far more than she let on. The second was Vak, a man with a quick wit and a sarcastic demeanor that was the captain of the clan's competitive team, The Blackguard. At Vak's urging, he had brought with him four of his men to act as a bodyguard. It probably wasn't necessary, but it sure sent a message, and in an environment like this, a sending a message is a very good thing. Each one of them were dressed to their own liking, but the group was unified by sharing their leader's color scheme of black and white.

"Well, that was a short speech, wasn't it?" That comment came from Vak, who immediately thought the better of it after the words crossed his lips. "There wasn't a speech, or at least not yet," Van calmly responded. The group began walking to the convention's commons, with the guard detail forming a small protective box around the three figures in the middle. "So far things looks fairly unorganized, and that's probably because everything is being run by a single person. Supernatural or not, that's a lot of work for just one person to handle."

"Speaking of work," Rawr cut in, "We got a status report from the clan while you were inside. Besides the usual housecleaning issues there isn't really anything to report." That was good, Van thought. We don't want things to start falling apart while he was gone. "Also," she continued, "I took the liberty of reserving the entire VIP floor of a nearby hotel for the week while we're here. We're going to have more BZG members arriving throughout the week to help with recruitment and other things, so we'll be needing the space." "I thought bunk beds in the convention center would be tacky," Vak said with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

By this time the entourage had reached the convention commons. Van calmly sat himself at a small table in the far corner of the room with his back to the wall. "So," Vak began, "What exactly are we doing here?" "Simple," Van responded, "We sit and we wait until it's our time, or at least until someone decides that they need us."

Done speaking his simple command, Vanguard reclined in his chair and calmly watched the masses go about their business.

 

[SargentToughie]

One of the windows suddenly shatter, and a crimson figure rockets through it, it smacks into the ground with a metal *thunk*, a massive cloud of smoke roars up from the earth where the crimson figure landed. A voice is heard coming from it, although it's not adressing the crowd it's surrounded by

"*crackle* I'm in, thanks for giving my enterance some flare *Crackle*"

all of a sudden, a one of a kind Escapist goer emerges from the cloud of smoke, his expression is impossable to see because of the helmet he's wearing, but it's likely that he's grinning. His unmistakable armor holds the usual crest of the Toughie clan, and on his back was the assault rifle that he was never seen without, named Vengence.

"Hello world, Sargent Toughie has arrived"

He looks away the crowd as his helmet rotates around the room... possably looking for the orderves

 

[000Ronald]

Unbeknownst to the newest Escapee to enter the thread, The Logician is standing right behind him. Being as he's in a prime position to do so, he looks at the inscription on Sargent Toughie's gun. Vengence

"I'm pretty sure you spelled that wrong..." The Logician said. "Isn't it V-e-n-g-e-a-n-c-e?"

The Logician then waits for the inevetable drop-kick to the groin.

 

[SargentToughie]

Sarge turns around to see Logician... if it were any other escapist he would have drop-kicked him in the groin... but Locician would expect that

"I misspelled it on purpose... just like I don't spell Sargent Sergeant"

 

[000Ronald]

The Logician sighed. The new titanium cup he had gotten would be of no use now.

Of course, he had known that Toughie wouldn't drop kick him in the groin...because he knew that Toughie knew that he would have expected it.

Oh well... The Logician thought. I'm gonna get myself some punch.

 

[Blind0bserver]

"You know," Vanguard began to say to his comrades gathered at the table around him, "This is the second fight based off of a correction that I've seen since showing up here, and it probably isn't going to be the last."

"Interesting," Vak replied, his voice accented with a clear lack of interest. "I'm going to head back to the bar real quick. That red guy just got a bunch of broken glass into my Highball."

 

[000Ronald]

The Logician looks around, and spots a man mopping.

"You there, you with the mop! What's your name?"

"Pedro, man."

"Do you know where the toilets are?"

"Oh, we don't got no toilets in here man. Just garbage cans."

"...you want us to go to the bathroom in garbage cans?"

"Yeah, man. That's how we do it back at home."

"...and where do you live?"

"Wyoming, man."

The Logician bowed his head and went to tell The Necroswanson the bad news.

 

[SargentToughie]

Toughie stepps up to Logician and Necroswanson, calm and relaxed

"I'm having the private Ts build a bathroom in the west corner... it'll be done in about 3 seconds"

 

[000Ronald]

"Three seconds..." The Logician said. "Are your men on crack?"

"And they're done! Follow me Necro, bathrooms are this way."

The Logician shook his head in dismay.

 

[SargentToughie]

Toughie laughed
"They're not on crack, they're high off fear"

He points to the group, which consisted of three light blue armored marines that were fleeing the area
"I keep them nice and afraid, those guys make a good goon squad"