AverageJoe said:
Am the only one who noticed your profile lists you as female?
Anyway, I'd do it, I don't think genes really mean anything morally. I've even thought about donating sperm just for a bit extra cash.
He he, I'm not really Peruvian or called 'Google Proof' either
emeraldrafael said:
Thats kinda odd that your mom asked you too. dont they have sperm banks where you live, or are you special for someone reason? And a toned body is more about your personal practice and exercise.
I dont know. I dont know if its necessarily an ETHICAL problem so much as its a Personal problem. Theres not really anything ETHICALLY wrong with someone asking you to be their sperm donator. Now if they stole it, that would be ETHICALLY wrong (no I dont know why I keep drawing attention to that).
Id ontk now. I'd feel kinda weird about it, but if they really were stuck on me,I guess I would. Continues the blood line and they want a child. As long as they seem like they would be a competent and healthy family that would love and care for the baby, I guess so.
True, I was just trying to illustrate the 'potential' I guess of my bloodline. It's peculiar viewing yourself in such a disassociative manner if I'm honest.
Maybe ethical was the wrong word - I think I'm 'special' as they know me quite well, they know what I do, how I behave and they must judge something attractive about the package. Makes me wonder how long they've been sizing me up when writing it like this however.
Bara_no_Hime said:
Well, I say you should do it. What you are doing is giving this couple a chance at a family, and that's a wonderful thing to give them. You asked if there was anything morally or ethically wrong? No. You are committing an act of kindness and generosity.
Of course, being a woman, I may be biased.
Still, IF I was asked to donate eggs to a couple in the opposite situation (ie, to a woman who couldn't produce eggs anymore) I would do it.
As for how your future partner will react - I can only imagine that such a story would be a GOOD thing. I mean, you didn't donate for money - you did it out of kindness. That's touching - I can't imagine someone being jealous about that - particularly since you have no plans to be involved in the child's life.
I need bias, don't worry about that. I need the extremes and everything in between for me to consider and review.
Thank you for putting a different light on the future partner bit, at the moment I'm focusing on the worst that can happen as a result of this - with the logic if I can manage that than anything that is thrown up from this will be manageable.
fix-the-spade said:
If there is no professional involvement and it's a 'between you and me' thing, do not get involved, you could be opening a whole can of worms for yourself in twenty years time when 'your' child bangs on the door. Or even in five years time when the couple change their mind (or change their circumstances) and you are suddenly getting pinged for alimony since you're the father and nothing of the 'arrangement' was written down.
If they aren't willing to go through proper channels, you have to question why.
Funds are the main concern, lack of faith in system secondary; but I won't do this without a binding contract, should I decide to so at some point a bill will have to be footed.
And I'm not
that nice.
ZeroMachine said:
I wouldn't call this a moral dilemma, more of a personal one. Are you willing to be the father of a child who may never know that you're his father? Who may never know you exist?
Also, make sure all the paper work is there. If you end up being OK with it, you don't want to deal with the potential shit storm of opening your door one day to the sounds of "Daddy, mommy and fake daddy don't want me anymore, you have to take care of me."
Not that it'd go down like that, but I like making things sound funnier when I'm being dead serious. It's a crutch.
It isn't entirely implausible, I've read one news story with this occurring and one is enough to view it as an issue in my book.
ForgottenPr0digy said:
I might do this if I can keep my name off the records so if the kid tries to find he/she can't and if the father dies from cancer I'm not forced to pay any form of child support.
The issue with this - is that these people are liked to my mother. If they want me to be found, I will be.
teisjm said:
Well, i don't see any moral issues, yet i wouldn't have done so myself.
I wouldn't mind donating sperm anonymously, but i wouldn't personally like to know about the result of those donations, even less to have the possible child know about me, since the thought of having any responsibility for children is really frightening to me. It would be even harder to keep it out of mind, with the knowledge that my mom knew about her new grandchild, and most likely would see it.
Heres what you really need to think about.
The child will probably end up knowing that you're it's father, and seek you out, given that you would be donating to people close to your social circle. Your mom would know her grandchild whether you wanted to take part in it's life or not.
So would you be willing to take the role as genetic father, or willing to tell the child to beat it, caouse you don't want any part in it's life, cause you're most likely gonna end up having to choose one of those options the way i see it.
The thing that I'm thinking more of than anything - I've never considered being a donor, not even a second's thought. I'm being forced to consider it here so clearly it's already against my grain. My natural stance is no, much like you.
Parenthood and responsibility is a big deal to me. On one hand it will be awful for me to relinquish part of my lineage, but on another this child will have a fantastic environment - being a 'miracle' occurrence.
Viral_Lola said:
Here?s the thing: Whatever your doubts or questions you may have, you might want to sit down and talk to the couple. If they are serious about it, they?ll sit down with you. Ask them honestly, where do I stand? Will I have a role in this child?s life or not? If something should happen to the two of you, what will happen to the child? You will have to ask them about the legal stuff too. At the end of the day, it?s your choice and even though we can give you our advice and our opinions, you are the one that has to be able to cope with it.
As for future relationships, it?ll really depend on the person. I personally would not think less of it. There is a difference in donating sperm for a couple to have a kid and just knocking somebody up and leaving.
At this stage, the manner of which I've been asked is to put as little pressure on me as is possible with something like this. I haven't met these two, but it could be easy for my conscience to guilt myself into acting out of compassion and not reason.
I do indeed - but views and opinions I hadn't thought of are of great use. Your own mind can get stuck in circular logic and do nothing but destroy you. I may even get a 'Eureka!' comment in this thread.
I know I shouldn't bear what hasn't come to be any weight, but there is a consequence for everything, I can't help it. Good things don't happen to good people always.
To those that I don't directly quote I apologise, but I felt that my comments in response to others answers the points raised - but I do read everything placed here.