Fastest way to scare off a girl/guy

[Mr. Elemenopee]

Well my brother helped me out this one time where a girl was following me. She knew he was my brother too.

So we were in a super market and going from aisle to aisle and then out of the blue I grab my brother and macked with him in front of her. She ran right out of there. We both looked at each other, laughed and then he told me, "If you ever do that again, I will kill you".

Good times...

Not gay or into incest, but man, desperate times call for desperate measures. But that would have sucked if that girl was into those kind of things...

 

[Badger Kyre]

Take him/her to where you hid your ex's body...
unless you're dating a Goth, in which case now you're stuck with it.

 

[Brightzide]

Simple, ask her if she ever gives Knives names, or smell her and say she smells of a Skunk's pride...or children and incite that she is indecent towards the youth...I'm kind of an expert

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Perform your best Dwight Schrute impression.

Ask her what size waist she is immediately. Later, ask cup size and whatever she says, if she even answers, curse under your breath and mutter about "it" not fitting.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

If their a couple, invite them over, and when they walk through the door, murder one of them with an orange sack! HAHAHAHAHA-

Oh wait you mean in non-murderous ways? Oh well sorry ill try to keep my blood lust out of this.

If I want to get someone away from me, I usually just bring up the topic of racism. And I will usually pretend to be someone racist in this conversation. That'll get people acting like they don't know you.
...
Or screaming, "HELP HELP HE'S RACIST!" while beating you with a random blunt object. Either way if they get away from me im fine.

 

[Mr. Elemenopee]

Well I thought of a thing you could say.

You: "Have you ever been hunting?"

Person: (hopefully they say something like this for it to work) "No, I haven't"

You: "Well how about we go up to my cabin this weekend and I can teach you how to 'stuff a beaver'" ;D

 

[Enemy Of The State]

Just say "My ex-girlfriend is a porn star. She is gonna be SO pissed off when she finds out!" then point to your webcam.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

"Wanna help me hang my Hitler Poster on my wall? It's pretty big, but I need it to be that big in order to pray to the Fuhrer"

 

[Andantil]

A good hard punch to her gut always works.

 

[Megacherv]

Say "I love you"

Works every time...

 

[soapyshooter]

Tell her you're part of a gaming forum. Would work on most, I guess my GF is immune

 

[Tipsy Giant]

get your coat, i've got knife

 

[TriggerHappyJoe]

Show her your collection of teddy bears

 

[Unia]

Ah, my friends, you are all forgetting the greatest technique of all...

THE NOSE PICK. Works every time...

Ninja'd damnation. Funny how even the worst slobs hate seeing other people act like that.

 

[TailstheHedgehog]

I went to a school social with this one guy, and seeing as we're talking about ways to get a girl not to want to so much as look at you ever again, try something like:
*gesture to flashing cameras*
"All these lights... it reminds me of 'Nam. You know... 'Nam?"
Oh lord... (before you think the worst, he was my age, which is like twenty years too young to have so much as protested for Vietnam)
Funny bloke. No idea of romance.

 

[Blimey]

AIDS. I hear its pretty effective.

 

[carpathic]

I always like (for either guys or girls)

"I am feeling really fertile today!"

 

[Kranay]

Mine would be "Hey I smoke." Though it always doesn't work.

Worked for me XD although, I think you might have meant ciggarettes and not what i smoke

Anyone said, "I'm gay" yet?

Many, many times. Works like a charm.

 

[tomtom94]

Apart from being me, just have a set of speakers under the stairs making muffled screams and tell them to "ignore that, she'll be broken soon".