Favourite Lines From Video Games

[dl_wraith]

Most of the dialog in Portal cracks me up....especially the stuff about the cake

There's a horde of funnies in any of the Ratchet and Clank games, too. I won't recount them.

The one line that always sticks in my head is an old Duke Nukem line "it's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum......and I'm all out of gum"

 

[magicmonkeybars]

"it was as far as i could fall, it was low as I could go, way past oblivion, to a point only described, as negative zero."-ash from Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines

 

[Burns Flipper]

some of the best lines from Vampire:Bloodlines

"You could tag-team with Jesus and you'll still going down!"

"You look familiar. Were you ever on a milk carton? "

"The Sabbat ? The Sabbat is worthless, man. Fake tits on a zombie worthless. Fun to watch though. Like the Three Stooges with chainsaws"

 

[L4Y Duke]

What about Dante talking to Cerberus in DMC3?

"In a dog show, you'd definitely take first place"

Here's the YouTube link (1:15) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAePf_1Ihqg]

 

[JimboG]

Advance Wars Dual Strike -

Jake: Get the plates, 'cause you just got served!

Someone missed out an RE4 quote: "Not enough cash, stranger"

"Somebody set us up the bomb"

Cuz we can close the thread after i post this, there is nothing who can beat that one! Not even a ninja bear with lazor claws!

Edit - Source : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qItugh-fFgg
I really dont know the name of the game

Zero Wing.

 

[TheTakenOne]

Ike: If anyone's going to kill us all, shouldn't it be you, the dark god who was sealed inside the medallion?
Yune: You called me a dark god again! How would you like it if I called you a dark bag of organs?! I don't want to talk to you anymore!
Ike: What?

Yune: How do you feel?
Ike: ... Strong. Like I can take on anyone.
Yune: Wow, you're very confident for a being that can die!

Goddesses have senses of humor too, so it seems.

 

[DMShade]

"Did you see that? It looked like something out of a Saturday Morning Cartoon!"

Citizen of Threed in Earthbound, describing the flying machine Jeff's dad made.

The Irony being ALL of earthbound looks straight out of a cartoon.

 

[Iceman23]

"Names are for friends, so I don't need one."
Hitman Blood Money

"I am Truth! The Voice of the Covenant!"
"And so you must be silenced."

Halo has always been full of memorable moments.

 

[bobsaget]

THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY NINJAS. ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO SAVE HIM?

Bad dudes

 

[gstaff]

In the introduction to Symphony of the Night (or I suppose the end of Dracula X), I love the whole dialogue sequence for being so cheesy.

"What is a MAN?"

 

[ChaosStep]

C&C Generals

Overlord Tank: I am BIG!
Extra Large!
I will CRUSH!

And that creepy laugh the inferno cannon does

 

[Phantom6]

Ike: If anyone's going to kill us all, shouldn't it be you, the dark god who was sealed inside the medallion?
Yune: You called me a dark god again! How would you like it if I called you a dark bag of organs?! I don't want to talk to you anymore!
Ike: What?

Yune: How do you feel?
Ike: ... Strong. Like I can take on anyone.
Yune: Wow, you're very confident for a being that can die!

Goddesses have senses of humor too, so it seems.

I loved that!

Anyway, I'm amazed no one's said anything from Tales of Symphonia yet. Especially from Genis. Some of his lines were instant classics.

Lloyd: Those fakes are totally copying us.
Raine: I suppose that would make their ignoble leader Lloyd.
Genis: Ahahahaha. Yeah he's just like him! (Lloyd makes a really annoyed look)
Raine: And that girl would be Colette, and the magic-user would be me.
Genis: Oh, then...that one that looks like a big ape is...
Colette: Genis?
Genis: No! It's gotta be Kratos!
Kratos: ...

Unknown voice: MUHAHAHAHA!!!
Lloyd: What...was that?!
Genis: You're better off not knowing.

(Lloyd walks quietly up to Kratos, who thinks someone is trying to assassinate him and swings his sword)
Lloyd: Whoa!
(Kratos holds back the blade, missing Lloyd's throat by inches)
Kratos: I'm sorry to have startled you.
Lloyd: Startled...isn't...the word for it!

Lloyd: Oh? Genis, you made this?
Genis: Of course.
Lloyd: I thought it was Raine.
Raine: Hmm, maybe you could try my cooking next time, Lloyd.
Genis: If you want to live, you'd better not.

Genis: Are you stupid or something?! Now what are we supposed to do?
Neil: I'm terribly sorry.
Genis: Do you humans use your eyes at all, or are they just there for decoration?!

Woman: Can you believe the nerve of this hag?
Genis: What did you say?
Lloyd: Genis, let it go. She's obviously never looked in a mirror.

Genis: Um, Presea?
Presea: Please carry that.
Lloyd: Okay, leave it to us!
(Lloyd and Genis then attempt to pick it up, putting all their effort into it, but they can't even get it off the ground)
Lloyd: Oh my g...wait a minute...argh, this is heavy!
(Presea comes back and carries it with one hand)
Lloyd: I've lost all confidence as a man.

(Zelos is attacked by an unknown man, who then holds him hostage)
Man: Don't move. Move, and he dies. Understand?
Zelos: Lloyd, if you abandon me here, I'll come back to haunt you.
Lloyd: I just had a sudden, wild urge to abandon you...

Lloyd: Hey, what's Zelos doing over there? It looks like he's talking to a little girl.
Sheena: Maybe she's lost. Hmm, I guess Zelos has some good points after all!
Zelos: Hey, guys.
Lloyd: So, what were you talking to that girl about?
Zelos: Oh, come on, Lloyd, I thought you knew me by now! I told her we'd be reunited by destiny 10 years from now.
Sheena: (smacks Zelos) YOU PERVERT!!!

Genis: Presea...I-I-I-I...You're p-p-pretty...
Presea: P-p-pretty? What is that?
Genis: I-I-I'm-I'm complimenting you!
Presea: ...I see. Then you are p-p-pretty too.
Genis: ...

Colette: Wow, Lloyd, you're amazing!
Genis: Well, at least he's good for something...

As if those weren't enough, the game also has two of the best serious lines I've ever seen:

Regal: Indeed. It is enough that I alone bear the weight of sin. You and I are the epitome of sin! I'll drag you down to hell with me!

Kvar: Ugh...Kratos, you pathetic inferior being!
Kratos: Feel the pain (slash) of those "inferior beings" (slash) as you burn in hell! (kills Kvar)

 

[J-Val]

"Wow, what a mansion!"
Wesker entering mansion, Resident Evil

It doesn't seem funny in written form, but considering that was the first thing Wesker said after running for his life and seeing one of his squad mates being mauled by dogs.

 

[OrenA]

This one may already have been said but...

The Aperture Science Enrichment center wishes to remind you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you. It in fact, cannot speak. -GLADOS

 

[Phantom6]

I can't believe I forgot to mention Baten Kaitos Origins. Guillo alone had more funny lines than almost any other video game character, ever...

Sagi: Come on, Guillo, she's all by herself. I bet she feels so helpless.
Guillo: HELPLESS?! Oh, THAT explains how she tromped the same soldiers that had US at the ends of their blades. You could drop a pile of bricks on her and the bricks would be helpless.

Milly: I'm what you might call a sheltered girl.
Guillo: Was it a bomb shelter?

Milly: Come on, you guys! Let's get on!
Guillo: (to Sagi) The wench thinks she's coming with us.
(Milly gets on the ship)
Guillo: The wench is actually coming with us.

Milly: (panicking) Oh no...oh no, this is bad, very very bad...
Guillo: What's wrong? Is it...(mocking tone) bad?
Milly: SHUT UP, DINGBAT!

Palolo: Do you guys always try to get yourselves killed, or only when I'm around?

Sagi: Thanks, Palolo. If it wasn't for you, we'd all be dead now.
Palolo: Yeah, dead's...not so good.

Guillo: (after any easy random battle) Why didn't they fight back?

Guillo: Insulting my magic? Don't make me torch you just to prove a point, wench.

Guillo: I can't tell if we just got a hint or a slap in the face.

Guillo: Would you be quiet?! Your squawking is creating more turbulence than those clouds!

Guillo: Is this the half-wit's witless half speaking?

Guillo: I think it suits her well. You can practically see the evil oozing out of every pore.

Guillo: Are you obsessed? A koa monkey in heat wouldn't be this clingy.

Sagi: What did they send, the whole army?!
Guillo: Oh look Sagi! The soldiers came to wish us a happy getaway!

Guillo: Sagi, do you mind if I torch the posters, the wench, and the WHOLE BLASTED CITY?!
Sagi: Yes, I do!
Guillo: (readies sophia)
Sagi: You weren't kidding, were you...

Lolo: So you'll get me that sacred wood, then?
Sagi: Well...um, sure, I guess...
Lolo: THANK YOU! (hugs Sagi)
Guillo: Wh...what the devil!? Release him, wench!
(Lolo lets go of Sagi)
Sagi: Um...I'll get wood. Er...at the tree! Tree wood!

Guillo: Who throws barrels at people? What are you, some monkey who's run off with a pretty wench?

 

[Pulsifer]

Warcraft III and The Frozen Throne has the most hilarious quotes outside Baldurs Gate. A few examples;

"-"Who's that guy with the sickle? Why's he beckoning? Why is my grandfather with him?" - Old Draenei

-"Tell Blizzard I'd make a great action figure!" - Wind Rider

-"In the depths, no one can hear you scream. Well, they can, but it's really muffled."
-"This world will be mine, and I'll start with the swimming pools."
-"No sink shall be safe from world domination."
-"Ice Tea is part of a two-pronged offensive."
- Naga Royal Guard

-"My blood cries out for the vengeance of my people's blood, which
can only be repaid with twice as much blood! Or maybe three times
as much blood! Like, if you went to hell and it was full of blood,
and that blood was on fire, and it was raining blood, then maybe
THAT would be enough blood. But, uh... probably not." - Bloodmage

-"I shot the sheriff, and the deputy, and your wee doggy too!" - Dwarven Rifleman

-"I stole your precious! Ahahaha." - Spellbreaker

-"Darkness called... But I was on the phone, so I missed it.
I tried to star-69 Darkness, but his machine picked up. I yelled
'PICK UP THE PHONE, DARKNESS!', but he ignored me. Darkness
must have been screening his calls." - Demon Hunter

-"Pheer my leet skillz." - Archer

-"FALL LIKE LEAVES! ... In fall." - Dryad

-"Why you poking me again?"
-"Why don't you lead an army instead of touching me?"
-"Poke poke poke. Is that all you do?"
-"Ooh, that was kind of nice."
-"Me so horned. Me hurt you long time." - Orc Grunt

 

[Ranzel]

Psychonauts:

When Raz releases the fish from jail as a giant monster, 3 of them come out and say:

"Freedom!"
"Freedom!"
"Freeeddom!"

The last guy always makes me laugh my ass of . He just says Freedom in such a monotone way.

 

[noradseven]

Warning this line sounds very wrong if taken the wrong way allow me to explain, they are not related by blood one of them was adopted. From Tsukihime (akiha arc)

"Your right Akiha is not my sister

What???

She is my women.

You B@#$%^!"

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Basically everything said by the computer in portal particularly

"You euthanised your faithful companion cube more quickly than any test subject
on record. Congratulations."

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"The miracle never HAPPEN"- Phoenix Wright during a really depressing bad ending.

 

[Minic]

Yep, just finished Portal. I love all the malevolent things she says in the endgame.

"That thing [you're carrying] is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it."

"Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?"

"Who's going to make the cake when I'm gone? You?"

"What was that? Did you say something? I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you."

"There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are."

 

[SnowingMonkey]

*Riddick tackles a guard down into a pit & is now ontop of him, wizzing downwards*
"It's not the fall that kills you."
*Riddick and the guard lands, the guard underneath and instantly killed. Riddick picks up a shotgun and cracks his neck*
"It's the sudden stop at the bottom."
Best line from Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, IMO.