Feed Dump: Child Protective Services

Graham_LRR

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Nov 13, 2008
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Child Protective Services

Child Protective Services, protecting children from a poor choice in names since its inception.

Watch Video
 

Draconalis

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So... I don't know who that girl is... but that Decepticon necklace around her neck tells me I want to marry her.
 

Amgeo

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Worse name than Hitler... Blarphingaaar Jehosephat Campbell? No one would be able to spell it right, it wouldn't fit on standardized test forms, it's misspelled, just awful all around.

Oh, and Ash was very funny in this one.
 

GamemasterAnthony

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Draconalis said:
So... I don't know who that girl is... but that Decepticon necklace around her neck tells me I want to marry her.
Ironic...seeing as how I see Optimus in your avatar and he looks PISSED at you for saying that.

On the topic of this Feed Dump, I have a question. Who in their right mind, especially in this day and age where we're finally cracking down on bullying, would name their kid Adolf Hitler and subject this kid to all sorts of hell from his classmates as a result?!?
 

Eternal_Lament

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I have to nominate Pilot Inspektor Lee, Jason Lee's son, as the worst name to give your kid. Note in this case that Inspektor isn't a middle name either, but part of the first name, meaning he has to be called Pilot Inspektor when addressed.

I think I win.
 

Graham_LRR

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You can lose a water balloon fight?
And that Hitler thing is OLD news Guys, like last year old. A worse name to give to give your son? Anne Coulter?
Eternal_Lament said:
I have to nominate Pilot Inspektor Lee, Jason Lee's son, as the worst name to give your kid. Note in this case that Inspektor isn't a middle name either, but part of the first name, meaning he has to be called Pilot Inspektor when addressed.

I think I win.
Whoever wins, the children lose (unless it's a water balloon fight)
 

Draconalis

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GamemasterAnthony said:
Ironic...seeing as how I see Optimus in your avatar and he looks PISSED at you for saying that.
Nah, Prime knows what's up. Love your fellow bot unless he's trying to tap the world's core for its heat, resulting in a global freezing that would kill everything on it. Then you just gotta stop them... but without killing the bots.

GamemasterAnthony said:
On the topic of this Feed Dump, I have a question. Who in their right mind, especially in this day and age where we're finally cracking down on bullying, would name their kid Adolf Hitler and subject this kid to all sorts of hell from his classmates as a result?!?
To be fair, it would take some time before kids know enough about World War 2 to bully them based on their name. And there's so many easier targets... like fat people and girls.
 

Tireseas_v1legacy

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Sep 28, 2009
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Hitler: the highest standard for bad names since 1945....

I nominate that bunny hat to be placed with the vagina hat in the category of "hats that would be awesome to wear during sex..."
 

Hitchmeister

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TheAmazingTGIF said:
It is all about Penn Jillette's daughter's name: Moxie Crimefighter Jillette
Or Kevin Smith's daughter, who was embarrassed at the thought of people seeing her father in public in Batman boxer shorts, so he had to point out that everyone already realizes that Harley Quinn Smith's father is a comic book nerd.
 

Eternal_Lament

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DVS BSTrD said:
You can lose a water balloon fight?
And that Hitler thing is OLD news Guys, like last year old. A worse name to give to give your son? Anne Coulter?
The news that the kid (who I will refer to as Little Hitler) had that name was from last year, but it was only recently that Little Hitler's parents lost custody of him.

Whoever wins, the children lose (unless it's a water balloon fight)
If only adults knew the secret of being able to buy your own balloons and balloon accessories, perhaps the children wouldn't have won that day (bows head in silence)
 

TheAmazingTGIF

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Hitchmeister said:
TheAmazingTGIF said:
It is all about Penn Jillette's daughter's name: Moxie Crimefighter Jillette
Or Kevin Smith's daughter, who was embarrassed at the thought of people seeing her father in public in Batman boxer shorts, so he had to point out that everyone already realizes that Harley Quinn Smith's father is a comic book nerd.
Well we can't discount Frank Zappa's kid: Moon Unit.
 

therandombear

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How about Adolf Joseph Stalin Hitler?

OT: In all honesty, I can see why the name Adolf Hitler would be most terrible for a kid these days, but to be taken by child services for it? Bit far, imo.
 

porpoise hork

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Dec 26, 2008
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So the guy beat up a nine year old cause the kid kicked his ass in a water balloon fight..

Sometimes humanity, you really scare me..
 

Sir Broccoli

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How about "Insert name here" for the worst name ever?
Think about it, if that's the name on your ID or creditcard then absolutely NOBODY would believe it's real.
 

TheAmazingHobo

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Man, I´ve been to Buttfuck, Wisconsin, last summer.
It´s a real shithole.


Hah, get it ? shithole. Get it ?
Because.... butt... I´ll just let myself out.
 

Jonluw

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I wish to see Graham dance the Caramelldansen with those bunny ears.

Make it happen.
 

Graham_LRR

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Eternal_Lament said:
DVS BSTrD said:
You can lose a water balloon fight?
And that Hitler thing is OLD news Guys, like last year old. A worse name to give to give your son? Anne Coulter?
The news that the kid (who I will refer to as Little Hitler) had that name was from last year, but it was only recently that Little Hitler's parents lost custody of him.
I'd heard that the custody battle had started last spring. Didn't think it would take this long. And his parents kept insisting that they're not Nazis. Let's just hope his name gets changed before he starts school
<youtube=eQ9AC7GH9Sc>
 

Little Duck

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I have a worse name. But I don't want to say it. I fear for my reputation on these forums.
 

Formica Archonis

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Draconalis said:
So... I don't know who that girl is... but that Decepticon necklace around her neck tells me I want to marry her.
You say that now, but then she'll turn into a spider or something.

(As to who she is: Vickers [http://www.megacynics.com/author/ash/].)
 

Formica Archonis

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Eternal_Lament said:
The news that the kid (who I will refer to as Little Hitler)
Why did you have to say that just when shuffle tripped across an odd part of my music library? Now a song called "Little Hitler" is assembling itself in my head to the tune of "Rubber Ducky"! Argh!
 

orangeapples

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For worst name I nominate Saddam Adolf Lucifer Stalin Bin Laden III

The reason is because Stalin and Bin Laden rhyme. rhyming names is perhaps the words thing you can do to a kid.

For best name I nominate Mario Luigi. Somebody I met in school. That is his first name. I don't want to put his last name because you can google him and he comes up and I don't want to put that on him...
 

empirialtank

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anybody else notice that Graham was wearing a shirt with the "Nope" tf2 obama poster on it?

reference link: http://www.halolz.com/2010/06/

does this mean that Graham is secretly a republican? or maybe he just loves that avi.

Another link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14
 

tehweave

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Draconalis said:
So... I don't know who that girl is... but that Decepticon necklace around her neck tells me I want to marry her.
Her name is Ash. She is awesome. She's done LRR stuff since the beginning.

Also, more Ash is always a good thing.

Double Hitler!

Yeah, you can't get worse than naming your child Hitler... Unless it's Osama Saddam Hitler, nicknamed Stalin.
 

Draconalis

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Formica Archonis said:
You say that now, but then she'll turn into a spider or something.
Oh gods!

A spider would be the worst day!

Now all I can think of are the Pretenders which were Transformers hiding in the shell of a human somehow.
 

soh45400

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Kal-El is actually a bad name, you name someone that and then what if they can't live up to it?
Imagine hearing in school "hay Superman, you got an F" or at work "Please don't fry me with you laser eyes, but I was told to tell you that you are fired".
 

crotalidian

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Sep 8, 2009
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NOw you see with the Hitler Hitler-Hitler name I feel like you get out of that by growing long hair taking steroids and prancing around in speedos and knee high boots for a living and refer to yourself as HHH...

My submission for worst name would have to be using very male names for a girl and vice versa

Miss Malcom Campbell
or Dave
or go white douchey male with Thaddeus

Mr Petunia Campbell
or Emily
Gertrude?

But Offensive words is pretty bad too
priviliged white kid with the N-bomb for his first name?
 

Something Amyss

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Graham_LRR said:
Child Protective Services, protecting children from a poor choice in names since its inception.
on the "worse than Hitler" front, isn't his sister named "Aryan Nation Campbell" or something like that? I sorta thing that's worse. Like, at least "Adolph" and "Hitler" are names.
 

Mr.PlanetEater

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Worse than Hitler? Easy,

just name the kid one of the following--Didn't Pullout Campbell, Mistake Campbell, Pol Pot Campbell, or finally Threesome with Satan and Hitler Campbell.
 

Tharwen

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May 7, 2009
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Make Kathleen Caramelldanse in that hat!

Can Caramelldansen be verb-ified? I hope so.
 

Covarr

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May 29, 2009
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Worst-dressed city in the US, out of... fewer cities than there are states. Nice job, way to have an adequate sample size.

P.S. Thanks
 

Macgyvercas

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All I really noticed was the Innistrad poster in the background.

/magicnerd

Tharwen said:
Make Kathleen Caramelldanse in that hat!

Can Caramelldansen be verb-ified? I hope so.
Dude, even if it can't, you just did, so it is.
 

Formica Archonis

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Nov 13, 2009
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Draconalis said:
Oh gods!

A spider would be the worst day!
Wow. I was more going for a Blackarachnia thing (Predacon, Decepticon, whatever). Didn't mean to trip some sort of... severe dislike reaction there.
 

Graham_LRR

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Got to agree with one of the guys in the Facebook comments.
The worst name is Major Major Major Major.
It basically ruins a persons life by itself.
 

BehattedWanderer

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Jun 24, 2009
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Does that bunny hood make you run faster?

Nah, Gonorrhea Jones would win what contest. Which isn't really winning, when you think about it. And can CPS really take the kid away for such things? Do they have to rename him? Or do they just force the parents to name him something else?
 

Draconalis

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Formica Archonis said:
Wow. I was more going for a Blackarachnia thing (Predacon, Decepticon, whatever). Didn't mean to trip some sort of... severe dislike reaction there.
Yeah... I can thank my grandmother for a healthy dose of arachnophobia.

Everywhere I wasn't supposed to be a spider was waiting to get me.
 

TIMESWORDSMAN

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Mar 7, 2008
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"I-Will-Shit-In Your-Coffee McButtface of the Glaswegian McButtfaces.

It's either that or "Major Major Major Major" from Catch 22.
 

JenSeven

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Oct 19, 2010
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Worse names than Adolf Hitler? Sure that is easy.

Just name your child "rapist" and his life is basically over, "retard" also works.
 

Draconalis

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Draconalis said:
So... I don't know who that girl is... but that Decepticon necklace around her neck tells me I want to marry her.

 

vrbtny

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Ash is gorgeous, even if she has no lips..... but, still. I would totally go for a coffee with her.... or whatever it is kids do these day.
 

emeraldrafael

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Im trying to decide if the waterballoon man is worse than Mike Mulberry, but im not quite sure.
 

matsugawa

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Ash is sporting the Baroness' evil/sexy librarian look and is wearing a Decepticon pendant. I think I need to be by myself for a while (except for Ash, lords above willing).
 

Zulnam

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Pretty funny episode, fellas, but I gotta say, you could've left out the last kid's name. Not saying you did anything bad, but it's more funny, for me at least, when these people (especially the "victims") are anonymous. You know, to protect their privacy and not spread a stupid story on their behalf.

Just my thoughts.
 

Hitchmeister

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TheAmazingTGIF said:
Hitchmeister said:
TheAmazingTGIF said:
It is all about Penn Jillette's daughter's name: Moxie Crimefighter Jillette
Or Kevin Smith's daughter, who was embarrassed at the thought of people seeing her father in public in Batman boxer shorts, so he had to point out that everyone already realizes that Harley Quinn Smith's father is a comic book nerd.
Well we can't discount Frank Zappa's kid: Moon Unit.
She probably looks at her brother* and gives thanks for being named Moon Unit.


*Dweezil (Although I just read the hospital refused to go along with that and Frank had to settle for "Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa" on the brith certificate.)
 

Assassin Xaero

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My sister's friend just had a baby in the past few weeks, and she named it Skyrim. I am not kidding, it is really that stupid.
 

James_LRR

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Zulnam said:
Pretty funny episode, fellas, but I gotta say, you could've left out the last kid's name. Not saying you did anything bad, but it's more funny, for me at least, when these people (especially the "victims") are anonymous. You know, to protect their privacy and not spread a stupid story on their behalf.

Just my thoughts.
That's fair, but the story is all over the net. Sorry if it bugged you.
 

Fr33Lanc3r.007

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The worst name would really depend on your last name......I've been told that I'm never allowed to name any of my future Daughters 'Sky' (or variants) - my last name is Larkin.
 

Callate

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Whereas "Ash Vickers" sounds like the bad-ass engineer who designed the weapon that defeated the alien menace of 2085, or the character who shows up at the eleventh hour, beats up all the bad guys, and asks the heroes why they're being such a bunch of wusses.
 

duchaked

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read about the 19 year old mom leaving her baby on the roof of her car online
and then smoking MORE weed

smh...
 

Formica Archonis

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Graham_LRR said:
^^^^^

That was me. Apparently James was logged in. Oops.
And you didn't take the time to post DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS? I'm simultaneously very proud of you and slightly disappoint.



Unfortunately, in my quest for finding a worse name than "Hitler", I went straight for the the sub-basement at the bottom of the barrel: FATAL.

I quickly realized that while I had several good contenders for going against Hitler, I can't rightly post them. Because they're all that fucked-up (and probably against the forum rules)....
 

Naturality

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I think the worst part about 'Hitler Hitler-Hitler' is the way it fits uncomfortably well with the rhythm of the 'dreidel dreidel dreidel' song.

(Not pronouncing the hyphen)
 

DuelLadyS

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Pretty sure I read about someone naming their daughter Chlamydia... that's a contender right there.
 

Fat Hippo

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therandombear said:
How about Adolf Joseph Stalin Hitler?

OT: In all honesty, I can see why the name Adolf Hitler would be most terrible for a kid these days, but to be taken by child services for it? Bit far, imo.
Needs more terrible dictators:

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler.

Of course, one could take this even further.
 

Palademon

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Draconalis said:
Draconalis said:
So... I don't know who that girl is... but that Decepticon necklace around her neck tells me I want to marry her.

And now I have a new webcomic to read.
 

James Nixon

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That's Louise's hat from Bob's Burgers :eek:

http://tvpedia.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/bobs-burgers-6.jpg
 

therandombear

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Fat_Hippo said:
therandombear said:
How about Adolf Joseph Stalin Hitler?

OT: In all honesty, I can see why the name Adolf Hitler would be most terrible for a kid these days, but to be taken by child services for it? Bit far, imo.
Needs more terrible dictators:

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler.

Of course, one could take this even further.

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi.

What more can we tag on?
 

Fat Hippo

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therandombear said:
Fat_Hippo said:
therandombear said:
How about Adolf Joseph Stalin Hitler?

OT: In all honesty, I can see why the name Adolf Hitler would be most terrible for a kid these days, but to be taken by child services for it? Bit far, imo.
Needs more terrible dictators:

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler.

Of course, one could take this even further.

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi.

What more can we tag on?
Well, first we'll tag his first name on there too, for the full dictatoriffic effect:

Muhammar Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi

Now, let's see

Emperor Muhammar Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Raul Pol Pot Castro Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi Palpatine

That's an awesome name!
 

Zulnam

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Graham_LRR said:
^^^^^

That was me. Apparently James was logged in. Oops.
It didn't bug me and I know about being all over the net (even found it myself after your episode).

Like I said, it's not exactly something "bad", it's just that you fellas have more class than that. *wink wink nudge nudge*
 

therandombear

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Fat_Hippo said:
therandombear said:
Fat_Hippo said:
therandombear said:
How about Adolf Joseph Stalin Hitler?

OT: In all honesty, I can see why the name Adolf Hitler would be most terrible for a kid these days, but to be taken by child services for it? Bit far, imo.
Needs more terrible dictators:

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler.

Of course, one could take this even further.

Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi.

What more can we tag on?
Well, first we'll tag his first name on there too, for the full dictatoriffic effect:

Muhammar Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi

Now, let's see

Emperor Muhammar Adolf Joseph Idi Kim Raul Pol Pot Castro Jong-il Amin Stalin Hitler Gaddafi Palpatine

That's an awesome name!
Now to wait for someone to name their child this.

Soon....
 

Yankeedoodles

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Worse name than Adolf Hitler? How about Heil/Hail Hitler? Every time someone says the kid's full name you make the speaker sound like a Nazi.
 

Ruzinus

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I think "Pedophile" manages to be an even worse name than "Adolf Hitler" for your kid.
 

Magnesium360

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Eternal_Lament said:
I have to nominate Pilot Inspektor Lee, Jason Lee's son, as the worst name to give your kid. Note in this case that Inspektor isn't a middle name either, but part of the first name, meaning he has to be called Pilot Inspektor when addressed.

I think I win.
I think it'd be great to always be addressed as Pilot Inspektor. Can you imagine that over the announcements at school? "Could Pilot Inspektor please come to the principals office immediately, Pilot Inspektor." Awesome.

I think if your going for the bad-guy combo-breaker it'd be Hitler-Stalin bin Laden von Satan.
 

Don Savik

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Eternal_Lament said:
I have to nominate Pilot Inspektor Lee, Jason Lee's son, as the worst name to give your kid. Note in this case that Inspektor isn't a middle name either, but part of the first name, meaning he has to be called Pilot Inspektor when addressed.

I think I win.
I would love to be called Pilot Inspektor. That sounds AMAZING. I would wear an aviator's hat and goggles and a tench coat and solve mysteries with a bunch of quirky friends. It would be like a cool tv show. Maybe I'm just weird like that.......
 

Matt King

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Now, my name is Matthew king, and when/if i have a child it will take so much restraint to not call them joe
or marry a chinese women and call him fu
 

Denamic

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Taking a queue from Dungeons of Dredmor, "You have to name the child".
"Hi, I'm You have to name the child Smith."
 

daedalus9973

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I met a little kid named Lucifer once. I remember laughing but then thinking about how that kid would probably be mugging me in about 15 years and I wouldn't blame him. Child names should go through an approval process by a jury of your peers.