Feed Dump: Hewlett Packard's Penis App

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
4,296
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Hewlett Packard's Penis App

Yep. The people who can't make a printer that can talk to your computer right have an app that can measure your penis. Not sure what else to say there.

Watch Video
 

Hiramas

New member
Aug 31, 2010
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Just for the record, Frank Underwood from House of Cards has a fairly prominent southern accent....
But then again he is a scheming maniac, sooo.....
Maybe not a good example.
 

Clankenbeard

Clerical Error
Mar 29, 2009
544
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My brother and I were playing around in the trunk of our family car once. I think our parents had just toted in some groceries or similar. A neighbor kid came by and jokingly pretended to close the trunk lid. It sprung shut. And, since this was 1977, there were no internal emergency trunk releases. This left him with an interesting dilemma...just leave or go knock on the door and let my parents know what he had done. He chose the latter. My parents rescued us in a matter of minutes. I had just barely started eating my brother alive for nourishment.

I remain untraumatized with no fear of tight or dark places. My brother seemed changed somehow. His incessant thrashing DID knock over a bucket of spiders. THAT's what my parents had bought--several buckets of spiders. Good times.
 

Wandrecanada

New member
Oct 3, 2008
460
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Does it say something that the Epson joke had me in tears? It may not all have been from laughter in hindsight.
 

scw55

New member
Nov 18, 2009
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*Uses the penis guestimation app*
*Enters my shoe size*
"Your penis could not be found"

Oh goddamn Hewlett Packard.
 

Tombfyre

New member
Feb 7, 2008
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Oh, Vancouver Island... Where any temperature above 18 is too damn hot. In other news, I tend to miss the island whenever I'm busy baking in the high 30's summer of Alberta.
 
Jan 12, 2012
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Tombfyre said:
Oh, Vancouver Island... Where any temperature above 18 is too damn hot. In other news, I tend to miss the island whenever I'm busy baking in the high 30's summer of Alberta.
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/weather/canada/british-columbia/vancouver
Apparently it's in the mid-20's. Not super hot, but warm enough.

Anyways, today I learned that Cam can't do a good Southern accent, and that I should never trust him with a large amount of dogs.
 

Lvl 64 Klutz

Crowsplosion!
Apr 8, 2008
2,338
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Uhhh... huh.

They were trying to cure their son of his fear of the *dark* by locking him in the trunk of a car.
And to get him in the trunk, they gave him a *flashlight* and told him to look for candy.

That doesn't seem suspicious at all.
 

Mastemat

New member
Jul 18, 2010
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Shoe size to penis size is a myth that needs to die.......

Cause the relation is tip of the thumb to the tip of your index finger... that's basically the length of one's penis. (it's when you hold them apart in the shape of an "L")
Fun fact ladies, large hands = big penis.

Trust me.
Gays know penis.
;p
 

Geisterkarle

New member
Dec 27, 2010
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Mastemat said:
Shoe size to penis size is a myth that needs to die.......

Cause the relation is tip of the thumb to the tip of your index finger... that's basically the length of one's penis. (it's when you hold them apart in the shape of an "L")
Fun fact ladies, large hands = big penis.

Trust me.
Gays know penis.
;p
Ok, in future I will give out High-Fives only to good looking girls! ;)

But now, that we know what HP and Epson are doing, I have to find out, what Lexmark is up to *looking at printer on desk*
 

TheIceQueen

New member
Sep 15, 2013
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Mastemat said:
Shoe size to penis size is a myth that needs to die.......

Cause the relation is tip of the thumb to the tip of your index finger... that's basically the length of one's penis. (it's when you hold them apart in the shape of an "L")
Fun fact ladies, large hands = big penis.

Trust me.
Gays know penis.
;p
No part of the body has been found to significantly correlate with penis size other than the size of your penis.

OT: I have a feeling that that one slide is going to have Daystar become even more of a megalomaniac.
 

Ajarat

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Apr 29, 2014
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No part of the body has been found to significantly correlate with penis size other than the size of your penis.
DNA called, it says "Hello, I am in every part of the body, and dictate almost every physical aspect of you. What were you just saying?"

Of course, you HAD to use the word "Correlate," which can be interpreted differently simultaneously, for there is a mutual connection/relationship yet little to suggest any dependencies or resulting affect from a change like from an (un)definable past/present influence, either ex-/internal.

Perhaps we are just not being 'creative' enough (wink-wink), for in general it is not uncommon for some parts of the body to correlate with other parts of the body where size (to some degree and parameter) bearing in mind that there are always exceptions to every rule especially to generalizations without discounting the validity of the rule/generalization.

Captcha: no time to explain
How does it do that?
 

TheIceQueen

New member
Sep 15, 2013
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Ajarat said:
No part of the body has been found to significantly correlate with penis size other than the size of your penis.
DNA called, it says "Hello, I am in every part of the body, and dictate almost every physical aspect of you. What were you just saying?"

Of course, you HAD to use the word "Correlate," which can be interpreted differently simultaneously, for there is a mutual connection/relationship yet little to suggest any dependencies or resulting affect from a change like from an (un)definable past/present influence, either ex-/internal.

Perhaps we are just not being 'creative' enough (wink-wink), for in general it is not uncommon for some parts of the body to correlate with other parts of the body where size (to some degree and parameter) bearing in mind that there are always exceptions to every rule especially to generalizations without discounting the validity of the rule/generalization.

Captcha: no time to explain
How does it do that?
The smart-alecky comment would be funny if you weren't comparing apples to atoms; macrophysics to quantum mechanics. We both know that DNA is not a bodily organ or appendage and of course it dictates almost every physical aspect, as it's the literal building block of the body, but that's not really correlation - that's causation.

With regards to penis size, a weak correlation was once found between the combination of body height and foot size to penis size, but it was not statistically significant and a further study ruled out even that weak correlation.

By all means, do a study and find a part of the body that has a significant correlation with penis size. I'm not saying that one doesn't exist, just that one hasn't been found and it's certainly not in the boring and obvious ones already looked at plenty of times: feet, hands, and ears.
 

Ajarat

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Apr 29, 2014
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For something to be funny, all one needs is Humor. My mistake for thinking IceQueen was a moniker instead of a descriptor.
And I'd rather come off as "smart-alecky" than the implied opposite...

JUST SAYING!
 

TheIceQueen

New member
Sep 15, 2013
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Ajarat said:
For something to be funny, all one needs is Humor. My mistake for thinking IceQueen was a moniker instead of a descriptor.
And I'd rather come off as "smart-alecky" than the implied opposite...

JUST SAYING!
There are good jokes and there are bad jokes. Good ones are funny; bad ones are not. Your joke was groan-worthy at best, wrong context at worst.

And yes, it is a descriptor. Thank you for noticing.
 

Sourman

New member
Mar 25, 2012
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castlewise said:
Someone needs to make a gif of Graham using his phone at 3:54.
Yes please

On a related note, Graham's shoe size is 14? The man is a beast! I honestly didn't know they made shoes tha big.
 

Dimitriov

The end is nigh.
May 24, 2010
1,215
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Tombfyre said:
Oh, Vancouver Island... Where any temperature above 18 is too damn hot. In other news, I tend to miss the island whenever I'm busy baking in the high 30's summer of Alberta.
To be fair, anyplace where more than 20 is unusually hot and less than 5 is alarmingly cold... is a pretty freaking great place to live!
 

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
4,296
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I too share Graham's pain of having excess head girth ._.
scw55 said:
*Uses the penis guestimation app*
*Enters my shoe size*
"Your penis could not be found"

Oh goddamn Hewlett Packard.
Have you tried using the magnifying app? A hur hurr hurrrrrr... [sub](im sorry)[/sub]
 

kailus13

Soon
Mar 3, 2013
4,568
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Why do people find spiders so scary. Sure it's surprising when the shadow in the corner of your eye turns out to be a spider crashing on your head for a couple hours, but they're not scary.

The dark on the other hand could contain monsters. Which would be awesome!
TheIceQueen said:
No part of the body has been found to significantly correlate with penis size other than the size of your penis.
Yes, but it's generally considered rude to ask strangers their penis size. I found that out the hard way. I can never go back to Buckingham Palace again! D: