Fellas, What would you do?

[Fuhrlock]

Personally I can't see why being a stripper would be cause to dump a girl that until prior to finding out that fact you wanted a serious relationship with. What does it matter if she makes money out of people essentailly just looking at her, especially considering that at the end of the day she wants to be in a relatiomship with me.

As for the not telling me aspect, well I'd ask more out of curiosity than anything else but I can't think anything she would say would change how I would feel about her.

 

[godofallu]

No, I wouldn't dump her.
Why would I?

Clearly, she wasn't comfortable telling me about her profession, and I can understand that. I will see her telling me as proof that we've become close.

At first I was like why would I? What a dumb question because she is a liar and a stripper.

But then you made a really good point. Which is totally possible and makes sense.

OP: I wouldn't date a stripper, even if they are hot. Lots of guys would. You just have to do what feels right for you.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

oh lord...lets just put an end to the whole thing right now...Wikipedia's not a good enough source...alright then...

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/promiscuous?s=t

pro·mis·cu·ous   [pruh-mis-kyoo-uhs] Show IPA
adjective
1.
characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, especially having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.
2.
consisting of parts, elements, or individuals of different kinds brought together without order.
3.
indiscriminate; without discrimination.
4.
casual; irregular; haphazard.

Promiscuous in the way you're trying to use it refers to sexual relations, i.e. actually having sex with someone..A dancer is not necessarily promiscuous, end of.

Why does everyone today seem to think I need an education in the usage of the word promiscuous?
Promiscuous means you are indiscriminate in your sexual behaviour, which will mean different things to different people. As I have previously stated in this thread, I would call dancing provocatively for another man 'sexual behaviour', and am thus justified in calling a stripper 'promiscuous'. It does not have to mean having sex.

I have to agree with you on this one, sexual behavior can mean anything from phone sex to full penetration, and everything in between, including lap dancing which is kind of like light dry humping.

 

[shintakie10]

I'd find it understandable that they kept it from me for however long it took us to get serious. Think about it. When people talk about strippers they always treat them either like pity projects "Oh you must have been abused as a child." or think of them as dirty sluts who sleep around for money (because people are dumb and think stripper = prostitute). Suddenly you're judgin this person entirely through their profession despite knowin literally nothin about them before this. Can you blame someone for not dumpin that kind of knowledge on the first date?

Would it bother me? Eh, not really. It's a job and if she enjoys that job, who am I to judge? I can understand why people would get icked out by it though. Some people are really rigid with their sexuality and old school when it comes to relationships. Nothin wrong with that, but it wouldn't jive well with bein in a relationship with someone who basically breaks those rules as a part of their job.

 

[Owen Robertson]

Don't really give a fuck. Do what you gotta do. She could be a rich girl with daddy issues or a downtrodden genius trying to pay her way through University. I don't care. If I liked her and she liked me that's really all that matters. Oh and most of you posting bullshit about "promiscuity" and "unfaithfulness" are probably very insecure or are more likely to cheat yourself, so you're projecting. That or you belong to an organized religion.

QUALIFIER: I'M NOT SHITTING ON OR BASHING YOUR RELIGION. I'M ASSUMING THAT YOUR VALUES AND OPINIONS WERE INFLUENCED BY YOUR RELIGION.

To be fair, most cultures seem to have leaned toward monogamy (or at least faithfulness and/or loyalty) regardless of religious influence. Perhaps I'm just looking for a fight... I've got some thinking to do.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Let's take this hypothetical situation, what would you do if you found out that the girl you've fallen for and been going out with for a while is a stripper? would it be wrong to just dump her and never speak to her again because you judged her before you got to know the situation she's in and offer her support? or do you have the right to break up with her knowing that she did not trust you enough to tell you(in essence making her own judgement) and the thought of all the guys that have seen and touched her would is just unbearable?

I'd find it more a problem that she didn't tell you her job. Though that raises the question of have you never asked her what she does for a job? Because for me that's one of the first things I find out no matter who I am dating male or female. I'm of the mind that stripping is perfectly fine. Heck, if done right, pole dancing could qualify as an olympic sport. Some of the things that some people can do are mind blowingly amazing.....It is my understanding at least out in the US that MOST states have the rule of you can't touch the girls. It may be different where you're at but I know for certain that is how it is out here.

 

[Belaam]

I'd be a little concerned that she didn't tell me earlier, particularly if we'd been together a while. And maybe wonder how I didn't notice that earlier.

But aside from wanting a good reason as to why she didn't trust me earlier, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

 

[WolfThomas]

Depends on a few things, is it her full time career or is it something to get through university? Is it a classy joint with strict no touching rules? One where some of the strippers double as prositutes? Do some of the strippers do drugs?

Really my issue isn't with the stripping but the lifestyle around the stripping.

- Talk to her, ask her why she didn't mention it earlier.

A rational and sensible suggestion? Get out of here!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'd certainly be hurt about her not trusting/respecting me enough to be upfront about it. I don't think I would leave her over it but I certainly would talk about my feelings on it. It would really depend on her attitude about it.

 

[Guffe]

If she's been keeping it as a secret I wonder why she wouldn't fele comfortable telling you but personally I wouldn't dump her. If I like her the only job I would be worried about is her being a prostitute. I mean strippers have codes about not going home or anything with customers (at least here) and she defineatly knows how to do the foreplay...

 

[Arnoxthe1]

For all the people saying it could be a lot worse, It could also be a lot better too.

But worse is more likely...

 

[L. Declis]

Depends.

Casual relationship with no strings attached? I'd break up with her.
A long-term relationship or the potential for such? I'd break up with her.

Yeah, regardless of what the rules are in stripper joints, I would simply look down on her for being a stripper. I'd probably even feel disgust for her.

I know that being a stripper and being a prostitute are two different things. I still, however, associate them with the thoughts "Who knows how many people have explored her dungeon?"

The same way I'd just someone who've had sex with fifty people. That kind of thing raises an eyebrow from me. And my gag reflex.

Ultimately, the reason I wouldn't be okay with it is you can rationalise it away as "No touching" or "Regular check-ups" and so on, but it's a job based on their sexuality, in person, to a group of strangers, sometimes involving skin-contact and certainly involving sexual flirting.

I simply couldn't handle it, and I don't see why I should have to swallow (excuse any connotations) my personal thoughts and feelings. Every one has a deal breaker, this is one of mine.

 

[Strazdas]

Nothing. Her profession has nothing to do with it.

 

[HardkorSB]

I couldn't date a stripper, not because 'it could be a gateway drug to other evil things, like veganism!', but to me a woman who strips for (usually) a living is okay with multiple men watching her nightly.

Yeah, so?

Jealousy? Not really, its more of having standards, which to me a girl who strip has either low or nonexistent standards.

Have you ever met and talked to any strippers or are you just making a generalization?

Also, lol, "if you wont date a stripper, you are oversensitive and insecure".

Not what I said but whatever.

Call me crazy but I don't see the big deal in showing your body to other people. I've been to nudist beaches and it was a lot of fun. I don't have any issues with taking off my clothes in front of other people. Other people may have issues but if they don't than it's OK.
Plus, the girl is making money that way, usually quite a decent sum. To be honest, I find working as a janitor and cleaning up leftover shit from toilets or standing behind the counter at McDonalds and being nice to assholes (both for minimum wage) more degrading than that.

Again, that's just my weird little opinion.

 

[Fuhrlock]

As someone said before, if your immediate thought of employment is taking your clothes off instead of a respectable job, then you have some major issues that should be looked into.

also, nude beaches =/= strip clubs.

While working at a fast food restaurant is degrading in some parts, at least you had your dignity. Again, if you would rather take your clothes off for complete strangers than do actual work then you have some issues.

Would I date a Stripper, no, even I have standards, one of which is that the woman has to have standards herself, showing off to numerous guys every night shows that she doesn't mind it.

But hey, its your opinion, if you would want a girl that doesn't mind shaking her ass at complete strangers that could lead to other things, go for it, I would rather have a woman that has self respect

Feel free to enlighten me but why is what a stripper does instantly cost them their dignity and self respect? They take off their clothes and people pay them, wheres the harm in that? They offer a service people want and it doesn't hurt anyone, my word how very shameful. There are people who do alot more harm in their jobs than strippers do in theirs so you've got alot more of humanity to add to that 'will not date a' list

 

[HardkorSB]

I couldn't date a stripper, not because 'it could be a gateway drug to other evil things, like veganism!', but to me a woman who strips for (usually) a living is okay with multiple men watching her nightly.

Yeah, so?

Jealousy? Not really, its more of having standards, which to me a girl who strip has either low or nonexistent standards.

Have you ever met and talked to any strippers or are you just making a generalization?

Also, lol, "if you wont date a stripper, you are oversensitive and insecure".

Not what I said but whatever.

yes you did.

It would be impossible to date her only if you were one of those oversensitive insecure guys who think that stripping is the "gateway drug" to prostitution.

Eh, I don't like doing this but here's a short tutorial:

"It would be impossible only if you were one of those guys" means that otherwise, it is possible. It doesn't have to happen but it's possible.
"If you won't date a stripper, you're one of those guys" means that saying no automatically makes you oversensitive and insecure.
Those are 2 different things.

if your immediate thought of employment is taking your clothes off instead of a respectable job

I've worked some of the crappy minimum wage jobs and I don't perceive them as respectable.
Most of the time, you're surrounded by people you don't like, getting treated like shit by the people in charge, doing things you don't like doing (no one does) and getting paid little for it.
Again, just my opinion.

I'm of the mind that stripping is perfectly fine. Heck, if done right, pole dancing could qualify as an olympic sport.

Exhibit 1A:

 

[solemnwar]

Poledancing/stripping looks fun. As a heterosexual female I don't really get anything out of it in a sexual sense, but it's fairly entertaining to watch on an aesthetic level.


OT: I wouldn't dump them. It's the year 2012 FFS I thought we were supposed to be done with the whole slutshaming thing?
Orite that's never going to happen silly me...

 

[recurve6]

That would be weird but that wouldn't change her as a person, honestly, because it's just a job, really.

 

[Right Hook]

I think you'd be in the right to break up with her, plenty of people are uncomfortable about such behavior and it isn't your fault if it is simple a line you don't want to cross. She should be understanding of it but you need to explain yourself, not simply break it off and disappear because that would be shitty.

I'd be a little upset that she didn't tell me right away but I'd understand why she didn't. It's important to get to know who someone is before you know what they are doing on a daily basis, you'll miss out on a lot of opportunities if you judge people based on activities alone.

I'm against stripping, I don't mind that some guys like it but it isn't for me. I've never been to a strip club and I plan on keeping it that way for as long as circumstances allow me to. With that being said, I think I'd have trouble dating her, simply because I don't like it and I don't associate well with the type of men it usually tends to attract.

For me I think it would depend on why she was doing it, if she had some other aspirations she was working towards then I might be okay with it. If it was something she planned on doing permanently, I'd probably walk away from the relationship. Also I'd have to know the conditions she was working in and how far things went on the job, if she's getting felt up and doing "stuff" to dudes in backrooms then there is no way I could stay with her.

 

[the abyss gazes also]

Let's take this hypothetical situation, what would you do if you found out that the girl you've fallen for and been going out with for a while is a stripper? would it be wrong to just dump her and never speak to her again because you judged her before you got to know the situation she's in and offer her support? or do you have the right to break up with her knowing that she did not trust you enough to tell you(in essence making her own judgement) and the thought of all the guys that have seen and touched her would is just unbearable?

In this hypothetical several people have assumed a lie was said. Let's define find out? Was theoretically guy going to a strip club? How did he find out? Was there actually any deception?

Unless there was an actual lie (which goes to the trust issue) then dumping her would make you an uptight prick.

And even if there was deception it is probably because we have this huge stigma. I went to college with several strippers. They were really cool people. It's a job. Sack up.