Female Gamers: An Unpopular Opinion

[mythgraven]

Been a big fan of the Escapist site for quite awhile now, and while this may be my first (and last) post, this is a topic I that I feel has got to be addressed... for the good of all gamers.

Simply put... being a Female Gamer, or GamerGrrl, or what have you... does -not- make you special.

Now before you boot up flame.exe, or start throwing the "S" word around, I do not harbor any ill-will towards females. As a male, its genetically written into my code to have a certain interest in the "fairer" sex.

But for years now, there has been entirely too much attention placed on gender/game-nomics. In the beginning, girls were derided, and scorned. They were the focus of ridicule, unwanted sexual advances, and the awe of boobie-obsessed basement dwellers.

Now, in the "gaming age" of "female empowerment", girls are 'equal'. Except... theyre really not, are they? Through a combination of passive aggressive Hear Me Roar gender advertising, and the decendants of the aforementioned net-crushes, females have yet another new, unique, and wholly overblown (not to mention unequal) gaming niche.

This has to stop peeps. :'(


People who go out of their way to advertsise their gender, are contributing to the problem. If you are a 80 Troll Hunter named "Femalegamer"... then youre not lobbying for equality. Youre making your gender a part of who you are. Youre infliciting it on people. Its like having a gamerhandle of "RepublicanGamer"... It sets an aggressive, unpleasant tone right off the bat. When youre in a game, no one should give a shit about your gender, right? Isnt that the meaning of equality? It doesnt matter if youre a girl. What matters is how you play.

And males, we need to seriously curb the girl-crush thing that pervades every single forum Ive ever seen. Posting about girls, real or fantasy, with the slavering devotion of a 14 year old, only sets the whole gender back. Going out of your way to help, assist, or be around a gamer who you suspect, or can confirm, to be female, is bad. As in, rolled up newspaper bad. Bad gamer! Bad!

Even gaming mags, and the beloved Escapist, are guilty of contributing to the gender divide issue. Making columns for GamerGrrls might seem like a good idea, and I could see how this would encourage nascent female gamers to be more active, but you cannot claim to have blinders on, with regards to social standards, and then elevate the opinions of any one genders opinions, with that genders own webpage, feature, or what have you. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

Ok, rant is over. You all now have my permission to label me as a chauvinist, and my further permission to grossly misconstrue my ever statement to suit your warped opinion of my plea. Also, you may now throw in a smattering of "tl:dr" (although you clearly did.)
But for those who read through, and understand, (key word, that.) I summarize by saying this impassioned plea wasnt meant to hurt anyones feelings, nor to aggrivate the already foolishly inflamed idea that women gamers are somehow better, worse, more interesting, less interesting, inherently clever or "spunky", or incompetant and weak.

This post is meant to say... Youre a female gamer? Who cares? Dont break sheep pls.

Myth

 

[Emphasis]

Good for you, Id agree, no one likes attention whores

 

[MiracleOfSound]

I'm friendly with a number of female gamers on this site, such as Jenova. La-le-lu-li-lo, Aprilmarie and Meganmeave.

None of them draw attention to their gender or differentiate themselves in any way because of it.

They also enjoy shooters as much as the boys.

 

[rekabdarb]

actually i agree with most of you say... "mama switched specs"... fuck there are 2 ppl in my guild who are "mamaw and papaw"

 

[Nomanslander]

Female gamers?

Wait, you're telling me they exist?

 

[Cabisco]

I believe that true equality between the sexes will only be achieved when both genders are treated as totally equal. Female empowerment, while necessary to combat chauvinism to a point, must be kept in check as much as chauvinism should.

Women abusing men can be just as dangerous as men abusing women, and it should be considered as such.

I don't think that developers should cater to either gender, it seems patronising to me (as a person who really like Nintendogs) that girls always prefer cute casual games and men always prefer blood and tits-athons. Just make good games, and the true gamers in each gender will play them, regardless of content.

As well as that, the tendency to mention obsessively that your gender online, and carry it as a chip on your shoulder is just attention seeking, no matter what your gender. It's just another blow to individuality.

So yeah, total equality please.

I need a better way just to say 'Yeah, I agree with you', but untill I come up with something better i'll have to stick with that.

Yeah, I would love to live in a society where sex race etc doesn't actually matter but I know right now that just isn't true, hopefully in a few generations we'll be closer. I mean, I know people who are racist for no reason. I also wonder who long a male version of Diamond car insurance (women only) would last, 5 mins before it's declared sexist.

We life in a very strange society where we are shifting like a pendulum without ever coming to rest in the centre.

Also, I have been told Young White Males in Britain are now one of the most discriminated against sections of society. Whether thats true or not I don't know but I can kinda see why some people may feel that way.

 

[Azaradel]

Is this really an unpopular opinion? Because I completely agree with you.

I'd prefer to think of myself as a gamer, not a girl gamer - because, really, it doesn't matter.

As long as we (read: women) set ourselves apart as being different, or special, from men, we can't possibly hope for equality (on that topic... why does there have to exist an "International Women's Day"? That actually kinda bothers me)

 

[Axeli]

I think this goes without saying, really. Then again, it might need saying with reverse-chauvinism being far too common these days.

But. I can see why a female gamer might want to use a gender specific nickname. You'd be pretty annoyed too if you were mistaken for a woman all the time, wouldn't you? People tend to assume they are talking to a guy if there's nothing to imply otherwise (female characters as avatars are confusing to me... Depending on the exact focus of the picture, of course). Especially on gaming forums where there usually are more male users.

 

[Wolfram23]

I agree with the OP. I remember from WoW days, which I think it was probably the most prevalent, a lot of girls flaunted their girliness to take advantage of the drooling boys. Sad, but true. In fact some guys playing female avatars told me they've pretend to be a girl and get all sorts of freebies for it, and also are able to just dick around without someone telling them off (sometimes goes the other way, too). Also, I've met/friended girls in WoW and you can just tell the boys pay them so much more attention in pretty much every respect, and moreso to the "flirty" girls. Thing is, that sort of behaviour isn't exclusive to gaming but it would be nice if we could begin the change of actual equality. I suppose the problem is we're genetically coded (usually) to like the opposite sex, and by girls being flirty it just sends signals that are tough to ignore. However, that is in fact the female's fault for acting so.

I actually met a girl in WoW years back in BC who joined the guild I was in. We started playing together and she was fairly flirty but I wasn't one to give in to the drooling over a girl/send lots of freebies etc. But... we became friends, chatting lots, leveling together, then talking on ventrilo blah blah blah we ended up meeting irl and spent one hell of a week together in NYC. It was great and all, but I knew from the get go - and it was proven afterwards - that she's what may be considered an online tramp. That's a little too harsh but it paints a picture (actually I can't think of how else to put it right now. sorry). She had informed me previously of meeting people through myspace, and had dated a guy on WoW previously. Also after our week together - considering we'd never really meet again (long distance, I don't care for it) and not long after she was all over some other guy, which from what I heard didn't last too long (in fact, we were on decently good terms and she confided they slept together as well, and he had a small dink) and then she started dating yet another guy. But to her credit, they've been together now for more than a year maybe two.

Anyway I asked her if she too quit WoW, and she said yes. Mostly because she couldn't handle how she attracted all the drama queens. Makes me think, guys seem to generally get along well so why do the women have to bicker? Guess what. It's because they're attention whores and bicker when someone else steals their thunder (as in, not all the girls but the ones who are involved in guild dramas). I guess that's the problem of being "unique" (not really, but still a large minority) - you get paid a lot of attention and like it and end up propagating it. So as the OP said - guys, let's try to stop this. It'll be better for all.

All that being said, I have met some very cool, non-attention grabbing girls in WoW as well who give their sex a good image imo. But I have to say, I think most of them simply had BFs already. Just sayin.

 

[latenightapplepie]

Now before you boot up flame.exe, or start throwing the "S" word around, I do not harbor any ill-will towards females. As a male, its genetically written into my code to have a certain interest in the "fairer" sex.

I'm a dude and I'm fairly sure I don't have the 'certain interest' that you're referring to. Also, I'm fairly sure you can be a raging heterosexual and still hate women. Quite easily.

OT: Women shouldn't have to hide when gaming. You're advocating the repression of part of their identity. I believe that the potential awkwardness and tension that might arise when someone reveals part of their identity as different is much more preferable to a world in which we keep integral parts of our identity to ourselves because we think it might rub someone up the wrong way. Just my two cents.

 

[squid5580]

I like to think that such a mentality doesn't exist on this site... I hope.

It unfortunately does. It wasn't so long ago the weekly editorial topic was exactly that.

 

[Nomanslander]

Female gamers arn't exactly the majority, so you can translate this behavior as a means to fit in.

In the end, I like the idea that they're around and the Xena warrior princess attitude doesn't bother me at all.

What would bother me is how guys might react when they do hear they're around, then all of a sudden it grabs everyones attention, and you wonder why female gamers are a minority in the first place...=/

 

[Katana314]

I wonder if I should advertise MY gender by naming myself "MaleGamer" in TF2. I wonder what sort of stares that would draw.

 

[Captain Picard]

I have to say, I agree with the OP on just about every point. If some girl wants to make her gender the foremost feature of her online/gamer persona while pushing everything else to the background, then I guess she can do that, just as any one of us can decide to make flames and trolling the foremost feature of OUR online personas. However, I don't think that kind of behavior should recieve any sort of praise or support.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

All the time I have problems with female escapists telling me how they are gamergrrls and therefore something special. I've had enough of it, I tell thee!

[/irony]

Not really sure what this is all about. If life has told me one thing it is that women are different to men but it isn't really worth trying to find the equation that tells you which gender is better or less annoying.

 

[quiet_samurai]

People who go out of their way to advertsise their gender, are contributing to the problem. If you are a 80 Troll Hunter named "Femalegamer"... then youre not lobbying for equality. Youre making your gender a part of who you are.

Reality check, your gender is a huge part of who you are, and if a female wants to andvertise it thus, it is her expressed right to do so. You speak of wanting equality? Then would you go and accuse a male gamer for making an avatar or character called CoolGuy5000 as pushing his gender.... probably not. It's people that feel the same way that you do that are bringing issues like this to the surface and making them seem like some social disorder needing to be fixed. It honestly doesn't, and I think poeple who feel this way are just uninteresting individuals with lives that are not what they wanted them to be.... so they go out and create these problems to feel like they matter as an individual or use it as a way to reach out to others just as equally uninteresting.

Also, being a gamer has nothing to with with women being hounded by men. They are approached and hit on by guys all the time, whether it's in a game, at the mall, in a bar, or at the bookstore, men are going to flock to them no matter the setting. We guys are in a constant state of arousal all the time, it's biological.... and no amount of bitching and pointing the spotlight is going to change that. It's our lot dealt by evolution.

Lastly, men and women aren't equal anyways. Neither is better or worse then the other, we're just different, you know this.... I know this.... everyone knows this, and the people that deny it are just delusional. Because If we were completely equal, we wouldn't have the intensity in the interaction between the sexes, we would be able to predict one another all the time and life would be boring and people would be lame and uninteresting. It's our differances that make us so intriguing to one another, it's what makes the whole battle of the sexes so interesting and exciting. And the people that want these great things to be no more are just sad people not willing or brave enough to put themselves out there and embrace life the way it is.

 

[DethVanXan]

I agree with you, mythgraven. I think it applies to all media nowadays. If we are truely living in an equal society where, gender is no boundry there would be no need to point out what gender you are.
Someone who advertises their gender in a game is not asking for equal treatment, they want differant treatment, and sadly they get it, either in the form of said boobie obsessed basement dwellers harrassing them or the attention desperate males that occypy a lot of the virtual world who would gladly throw themselves at her feet to please her for maybe a little attention in return.

But I am simply repeating what you said.

If you are playing a game, it should not matter if your team mates sexual organs are on the inside or outside.