Fictional characters you wish you could punch in the face?

Lunar Templar

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Johnny Novgorod said:
Lunar Templar said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
The cast of Evangelion, Punch them long and punch them hard. Punch them until their whiny/bitchy molars are flying in bloody arcs through the air while the Eva community watches in silence. In the distance, someone snivels.
sweet, you posted half what I was gonna say.

:3 Edited with my own object of unending disdain
Sure, if it makes you feel any better.
not really, Shinji is fictional and thus not able to be bludgeoned to death with a combination of numerous blunt objects.

the shit I'd like to do to him with a meat tenderizer though .....
 

Henrik Knudsen

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bug_of_war said:
Tali, Mass Effect. That fucking Quarian makes me so mad, and there is no scenario where in which I take her anywhere or talk to her (outside of her loyalty quest(xp)) as I just can't stand her. Everything she says and does just rubs me the wrong way.
Win

And another would probably be Zanza (sp?) from GoT, based on the TV series. Haven't read the books.

Edit: In my first run of ME1 I never even figured out where on the ship she was located. Her voice annoyed me so much.
 

EstrogenicMuscle

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Heh, well, I tend to be a pretty non-violent person. So I don't really want to punch anyone. Also, most of the people I wish harm to are not fictional characters, they're real life people.

I really cannot stand Duke Nukem or any characters like him. I wouldn't so much as punch him as I'd be amused to see him injected with estrogen.

I'd like all macho jerks injected with estrogen. Seems like an appropriate fate. Though perhaps more appropriate and effective would be to inject them with the compound cyproterone acetate. If you're going to punish a hypermasculine jerk for being a hypermasculine jerk, why do so by punching them in the face? Terrorizing their very sense of manhood would be far, far more effective.

Also, pretty much any fictional character that has ever said something like "man up" needs a punch in the face. Or again, better yet, violence through hormones. The kind of jerk who says "man up" is not going to be phased by a punch in the face. Feminizing hormone injections would be far more violent and harmful by comparison.
 

rasputin0009

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Tobey Maguire's Spiderman. Worst casting EVER! Garfield's even better! Somehow. Now, that's saying something.

Daniel Radcliffe's Harry Potter. I'm not even sure why. Maybe I had it in my mind that Harry was a lot more badass in the books.

Walking Dead punchables: Rick, Lori, Carl, Dale, Andrea, Glenn, Maggie

All of the Big Bang Theory's characters. I can't stand terrible comedy sitcom writing.

Last, but definitely not least:

Jeff Dunham. "But he's a real person!" No one's that punchable in real life. He has to be playing a character.
 

loc978

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Cersei Lannister...
if I get to punch her with one of these
To everyone naming Joffery... there's no point, trust me. Also, his disposition is almost entirely Cersei's fault. She gives Gregor Clegane a run for his money in the competition for "most evil shithead in Westeros".
 

EstrogenicMuscle

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Zachary Amaranth said:
piinyouri said:
Most every JRPG protagonist and supporting characters.
Oh yes. Yes times a thousand.
Funny, I feel just the opposite. I love most JRPG characters.

Though I will concede that I wanted someone to slap Luke from Tales of the Abyss in the face every time he acted like an insensitive jerk. You step on Mieu again Luke, and I step on you. You over-privileged royal.
 

BNguyen

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Andrea and Carl, Merle from Walking Dead and Skyler from Breaking Bad - I just hate these snobby, holier-than-thou but still hypocritical bitches. And Carl just makes everything worse that he touches, and lose the hat!
 

TheBlueRabbit

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Jan 9, 2009
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GonzoGamer said:
I'm picturing that scene in Airplane.
Doctor, you're wanted on the phone.

triggrhappy94 said:
TheBlueRabbit said:
Ann Coulter.

What? She's real? Well, shit. Guess I'll have to go with anyone French Stewart has ever played.
Wait, you haven't seen Boondocks? Ann Colter just gets paid to say crazy stuff to increase ratings and to give her "opponents" someone to argue against. She actually has a black boyfriend and isn't a bad person.
You almost had me convinced until the highlighted point. I know you were joking, but I've met Coulter once. The words "isn't a bad person" should never be used in the same sentence as her name.
 

BNguyen

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Xpwn3ntial said:
Peggy Hill.

I'd forgive her bad Spanish and her general stupidity if she wasn't so egotistical and controlling, but as it stands she currently leads the backpfeifengesicht[footnote]Face that needs punching[/footnote] brigade.
Got to agree with this, just about every mother in prime time animation has the same annoying controlling personality.
 

Zweiblumen

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Mar 21, 2009
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As a (now former) DDO player who knows the pain of the old Ruins of Threnal, Eastern Expidition, I have to say Coyle. And oh would I punch him. I would punch him for great justice for all DDO players I have known through my years of playing.
Revenge for the most painful escort ever. Damn you Coyle! Damn you!
 

Yearlongjester

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Elayne Trakand from The Wheel of Time. Such a massive *naughty lady word* who comes across as the biggest in a long line of author fetishistic "Strong Women" (Quoting the author himself, it seems that he based numerous female characters off of his wife.) She's a royal brat who rarely thinks beyond herself and her own clique even as the world is coming apart, and often screws other characters out of what is rightfully theirs because she can, and others have to put up with it to save the world. Even beyond that, after hearing a prophecy that her children will be born healthy, she decides to thrust herself headfirst into dangerous situation after situation, never learning even after the 85th time she's been kidnapped.

Ugh, I really hate her. Wish she had died instead of half the rest of the cast in the last book.
 

Wolfeyes555

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Jan 30, 2012
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I might be stepping on someones toes here but, Ferris Bueller. I really hate this guy with all my heart.

Runner up: Dahlia Hawthorne. This character makes me so angry and made me want to throw my DS across the room at times. The reason why she's only runner up is because despite my anger, I do admit she is a great character in her own right.
 

Zombie Sodomy

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Red from that 70's show, Rachel from Friends, those fucking Medusa heads from Castlevania, Gwen Stefani on Glee, everyone else on Glee, Simpsons Lady Gaga, and God.
 

Darren Carrigan

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Treeinthewoods said:
If anybody has been watching The Following they'd probably understand why I have an extremely strong desire to punch Emma straight in her face.

I guess it's a sign that the character is an effective villain but still... I freaking hate that pixie haired little *****.

I found Emma creepy in her psychotic and calculating brutality...

This is suprisingly hard on the spot, but Kaiden Alenko AND Ashley Williams both dirve me up the wall.
Kaiden is so boring I pick Vega over him in polls, he's just so bland that I feel he lacks a soul - then in ME3 I'm supposed to be his best bro and think he's awesome.
Ashley, same as above + Racism and having major trust issues in romance... seriously I came back for the dead for this *****! (not really for her but as far as she knows I did)

Hmmm what else?

Oh god the hate I shall recieve for this; Ron Weasley... I just don't like him...

Finally:
Shadow Hearts 2 had this one guy you played as for the prologue, Nikolai I believe. Paladin type guy, white suit - uses holy magic.
SPOILER: He's a villain and pretty damn good at it. The ways he screws over the protaginist made me want to punch him in the face - stealing all my transformations makes you an asshole buddy.
 

Darth_Payn

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I wanted to punch Holden (McGroin) Caulfield in the face and a kick in the crotch because he spends the whole book just whining like ***** about how much he sucks. South Park got it right on the money there. I just want to give him the pimp hand, then a whack on the head with baseball bat and, like Yahtzee put it, yell "FUCKING GROW AS A PERSON, YOU PUSSY!" God, what a douche.

Oh also, while I'm on "classic" literature they make you read in high school, the main character from Albert Camus' "The Stranger". He was just so damn dull and unlikeable.
 

mariosonicfan5

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Well the unceasing hatred in me tells me to say, Every character that has a dialogue box in any monster hunter game ever, but the more serious me thinks it would have to be Arkturus Mengsk, he's such an insufferable douche bag, Thank God Kerrigan gave him what he deserved.