Film This Chick Stuff! Part One: A Call for Aid

[DanDeFool]

Jem is perhaps the best bet. Its one of the shows looked on the most fondly of the girl franchises for the grown woman geek. Jerrica is a girl with some musical talent who manages her own company, takes care of the needy, and is an international world travelling rockstar who raises awareness to issues. Sound like anyone we know? Sure the whole wonder woman vibe may be much but it says alot that not only was there some substance behind things but there was a good deal of accomplishable goals and ideas.
The big thing about girl franchises often is how constraining they were. NO girl franchise I hear about in geek circles, admittedly not much for the girl geeks, is enjoyed straight in every interpretation of the word. The Misfits are thought of as cooler. Every female fan hates Rio and even likes making the girls gay for each other to a degree.

This is mainly because all girl franchises often were about forcing you to play house only ya know with this specific toy.

Now as to My Little Pony, might I just suggest a second look [http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=489807] its got some exploitable fun there. but also, the main thing is yes, they are tools for imagination which trend to social networks not icons into narratives you can follow to achieve a destiny of greatness.

Peh, I'm sticking to my assessment that Jem should have been a holographic cyber-ninja and maybe did the rockstar crap on the side. You know why playing house is boring? You're emulating your parents, why the hell would any kid wanna do that?

Okay She-Ra is smuggling rainbow dust into New York and getting Barbie and the Rockers high and making their music suck, in fact it's a rainbow dust epidemic and all the toys are getting shit faced and dying in the street. Han Solo and Spider-Man are the detectives trying to break open the case, but they're carting Sailor Moon along as a klutsy rookie who screws up the operation. April O' Neal is the bitchy mechanic/tech girl who is violently hot for Han Solo. Shredder is the captain who is gonna have Han and Spidey's asses nailed to his office door if they don't knock off the loose cannon shit. Mean while Rainbow Brite is the rainbow dust ki-er queenpin? Anyway, she's using Ninja Turtles as slave labor and running guns from Cobra Commander and Destro who have eyes on taking the business for themselves, with a secret imported weapon, codename: VOLTRON! And yet one cannot over look pleasant baker Strawberry Shortcake, whose name keeps coming up in the confiscated files. Could something more sinister be on the horizon? And how does a ninja vigilante called Jem figure into all this?

It's a story so fucked up, the bat computer exploded trying to predict the outcome, can you?

That is the most awesome thing I have ever read, particularly because, as a kid, I would do this kind of stuff all the time. Getting most of your toys from garage sales gives you a different perspective on creating narrative, doesn't it?

Congratulations! You win THREE Internets!

 

[Taynas]

Also, Ouran High School Host Club is an excellent comedy anime aimed at women and it probably wouldn't be hard at all to adapt into a movie or live action series. Though of course, when we're talking about these foreign properties, the licensing issues would probably be too ridiculous for anyone to even think about releasing an American adaptation.

I'd love this- large ensemble cast of romantic stereotypes (many of the stereotypes are japanese so there is a problem there but) who are revealed to be much more complex characters then they originally appear. It's a romantic comedy but a good one- my husband loves it too.

Other then that, I didn't really watch that many girl shows or play with girly toys. The thing of my childhood which could be an interesting movie would be The Magic School Bus. Go Go Science!

 

[Darmani]

I don't get the Ariel Hate of Little Mermaid. She's an, amateur admittedly, archaeologist and explorer of a foreign culture she is obsessed with as a means for self fulfillment and empowerment. She has a variety of friends and wants to dance, walk in the sun, and etc BEFORE she ever meets Prince Eric who's similar boundary breaking and joyous spirit (her for land, him for the seas) entices her to a life outside her overbearing and downright abusive dad. URSULA (often the gamer girl geeks champion) is the one who tempts and tricks this desire into becoming a human being, running from home, and giving up her voice as a, get this, bid for reclaiming her lost throne.

Seriously Ariel was diving into dangerous places and wanted rather specific things. Admittedly there was some of the same rosey eyed conception such as the mice with America in Fieval but goodness sake. Yet come criticism time she's hoisted as the effigy of all that is/has been wrong with the Disney Princess. Technically she's fulfilling a narrative, at the time, often associated with dudes (or which JC Avatar is the largest variation to mind).

 

[greenkira]

She-ra is the only "girly" cartoon character I can really remember. Only He-Man was on in rural MN though so I only saw the movie (twice in the theater) and then in a fit of nostalgia downloaded it a couple years ago... at which point I was like, holy sh*t, She-Ra is all about lesbian Wiccan eco-feminists hiding in the woods and fighting fascist corporate patriarchy. Then I realized there wasn't enough vodka in the house to properly appreciate this, and quit watching.

So, She-Ra live action film movie dream team: Joss Whedon directs. Christina Loken plays the main character. Lucy Lawless as the evil sorceress that works for Hordak. Let's up his "creepy villian" quality by a factor of ten, make him quit pig-snorting, and have Christopher Walken play him. Shirley Mclain as the annoying little witch, can't remember her name. I'm trying to think of an actor gay enough to play Beau, the Resistance's token male. Maybe Collin Farrel? I'm not sure he could camp up the tights and rainbows costume enough, though, nor the heart-headed arrows. Or maybe Hugh Jackman, if you've seen any of his photos from his dancing days.

As no one could possibly come out of this movie looking even remotely dignified or straight, it should be as campy and over-the-top as possible while still being an action flick.

 

[Darmani]

Not Mine bot an rpg.net poster named Wakshaani:
As for me?

Jem and the Holograms

This show damn near writes itself.

Starlight Music, heading by corporate sleaze Eric Draven, hosts a reality show, the Battle of the Bands, to find the new hot recording sensation... winner gets a three album deal with them and the power of Starlight Marketing behind it.

The Misfits, naturally, are the front-runners, but over the first season, the Holograms get 'plucky underdog' status and wind up catching, and finally surpassing, them. A band made up of hard-luck former orphans against a spoiled rich girl?

Yeah.

Season One is all about the Battle of the Bands, while season two is the "So... now you're a rock star. What happens next?" expansion, where the girls face getting shuffled around the world like props, the road life, but also the positives of it as well... try to keep it real, but rolling along, with the overall arc being "Making your first album".

The Misfits, of course, continue to show up and harass them, claiming that he fan voting was fixed, that they're the *real* stars, and so on.

Season Three has them settle in a bit more, living a more glamorous life and using their wealth and fame to help people, but also threatens a breakup due to personality conflicts. While the second album is the focus, the *real* focus is on how fame has affected each of 'em and where they'll go next.

Season Four has the band in the position of being the 'old dogs' instead of the 'young turks' and sitting in on the next Battle of the Bands, where The Stingers walk away victorious. Romance in the air? Too many life stresses? Where do they go next?

Season Five's the finale, and oddly a future-past-retrospective done VH1 style would be a fun penultimate episode, shot in '2030' and looking 'back' on the band.

But I digress.

 

[Hiraeth]

I don't get the Ariel Hate of Little Mermaid. She's an, amateur admittedly, archaeologist and explorer of a foreign culture she is obsessed with as a means for self fulfillment and empowerment. She has a variety of friends and wants to dance, walk in the sun, and etc BEFORE she ever meets Prince Eric who's similar boundary breaking and joyous spirit (her for land, him for the seas) entices her to a life outside her overbearing and downright abusive dad. URSULA (often the gamer girl geeks champion) is the one who tempts and tricks this desire into becoming a human being, running from home, and giving up her voice as a, get this, bid for reclaiming her lost throne.

Seriously Ariel was diving into dangerous places and wanted rather specific things. Admittedly there was some of the same rosey eyed conception such as the mice with America in Fieval but goodness sake. Yet come criticism time she's hoisted as the effigy of all that is/has been wrong with the Disney Princess. Technically she's fulfilling a narrative, at the time, often associated with dudes (or which JC Avatar is the largest variation to mind).

I'm assuming that this was directed at me somewhat, so let me respond.

Okay, my main issue with this (and sorry to gripe about what is a minor point) is that she's not an archaeologist. Sure there are some similarities to the archaeologists of the past, who were rich men who went and gathered treasures and sat around discussing them and feeling self important, but even what they did is not really considered archaeology by modern standards. She's more like an antiquities dealer/collector, bane of archaeologists everywhere. Moving on.

My problem is simply that she doesn't decide to actually do something about her desire for independence until she's met Eric. Of all the things she wants to do, she puts none of her plans into action until she falls in love with a man she's never actually spoken to. She goes from being under the thumb of her overbearing father to basically being married. It's not something I personally can identify with. I guess by your definition of her you could say I'm somewhat similar to Ariel - I study archaeology and anthropology, I have a love of travelling, I want to see the whole world, not be stuck in my hometown for the rest of my life. Yet I'm 22, still not married, and despite being six years older than Ariel is supposed to have been when she got hitched, I still have no desire to do so. For me, it's like if you really want to see the world, why the hell would you tie yourself down before your life has even started. Maybe when I was eight I thought I'd be married at sixteen, but now I don't even know if I'm ever going to get married, or if I even want to.

I don't hate Ariel, I just don't identify with the character as well as I did when I was younger. Similarly, I no longer think that the story of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White is awesomely romantic, and I'm well aware of the Stockholm Syndrome implications of Beauty and the Beast. My point is that when I was little I wanted to be a Disney princess, whereas now I want to be Indiana Jones. I still enjoy watching Disney movies, but I'm not watching them with the same wide-eyed innocence that I was ten or so years ago. Because I've grown up, my response to them has changed, and while their nostalgia value is still strong, I don't necessarily agree with some of the messages that I feel are conveyed by the stories. My point was that as I've grown up, my understandings of those types of stories have changed, and they no longer hold the same appeal that they used to. That doesn't mean that people shouldn't enjoy them, rather if they're like me, they likely view a lot of those stories with a more cynical eye than they did when they first saw them.

 

[Neumanoid]

Dear GOD, please may there never be a movie from the pink aisle made ever.
There is a reason no one has made any movies about 80's girls toys, it's because they sucked.
They were shallow, had little to no back story or were incredibly dull or predictable.
Boy?s toys from the same period normally had huge story arcs behind them, backing up the brand. Girls had none of that.
We were expected to grow up to represent the toys we played with as children; they were reinforcing the stereotype we were expected to maintain as adults.
As a geek girl growing up in the late 80's I spent the majority of my time playing with boy's toys because the girl?s ones were boring. Also, I fed any Barbie?s I was given to my dog...
I think most of the responses from geekish women my age will reflect this same view, that what we were expected to like as children we didn't. Girl toys were boring and so we played with boy?s toys, making us targets for massive criticism and chastisement from adults and children alike. This is why so many female geeks and games my age are closeted, we learned early on to hide our geek ways in order to avoid negative comments and hurtful remarks.
Also, the few girl stories/toys that we did play with as children have lost their appeal as we grew up, their innocent story and underlying messages now make us cringe at the idea of the stereotypes they represent.

 

[jollyblue]

To movienut's comment that most pink aisle toys are "not just "girlie" but also toddlerish", frankly most of the boy's toys are toddlerish too. It's just that big robots and army men can make action movies. I think there might be problems with trying to create direct parallels of the "remake of a classic toy for boys"; can you imagine a live action, gritty, realistic Ranbow Brite movie (by Michael Bay, of course)? So if boy's toys were parodies of action, what are most girl's toys parodies of?

Barbie - think "Last Action Hero" meets "Legally Blonde"; a young girl gets sucked into Barbie's world, enjoys it for about 20 minutes, then comes home and brings Barbie with. Now Barbie has to learn to be a real woman in the modern world, and when she eventually returns to her dream home she's going to have words with Ken!

Jem - Hanna Montana meets Madonna! Maybe HM has taken this off the table for a while, but "derivative" doesn't seem to usually stop these movies.

The Littles - not purely girly, a bit more neutral. But it has a Spiderwick Chronicals/Chipmunks vibe to it, and a built-in "Awwwww!" factor!

My Little Pony - Awesome! One magic pony gets stuck on a farm where the smart-but-unpopular girl has to help it get healthy and get home. Along the way they become friends, and learn a lesson about life...

Ranbow Brite - This has the potential for franchise, plus multi-ethnic appeal built in.

She-Ra - Yes, but not until we get a decent He-Man movie!

Female comic book characters - lots of good, strong characters (if little known), but I get the feeling that even heroes like Wonder Woman are empowering the girls less than pandering to the boys.

Strawberry Shortcake - actually feels too dated. Might be challenging to update this without completely losing the charm of the origi....You know what? Never mind. Hasn't stopped them before.

Go-bots - not for the girls, but came up in a search and now I want!

Pound Puppies - Do I even need to explain this one? A bunch of cool, anthropomorphized puppies!

Sylvanian Families - As above, but more so!

Glo-Worm - Again, not so much about the characters, but a story built around the toy itself. Maybe a magic toy that grants wishes as it glows, or just the last relic of a missing parent the serves as a guiding light through a precarious tweenage.

...I'm starting to get to that point where girl's toys don't have as much backstory or characterization. I think boys toys grew from baseball cards, where you collected your favorite heroes and idols, and girls toys grew more from playing house and relatively generic dolls.

Of course, plenty of boys toys got movies without enough backstory to fill the opening credits, so that may not be a problem.

 

[conflictofinterests]

She-ra is the only "girly" cartoon character I can really remember. Only He-Man was on in rural MN though so I only saw the movie (twice in the theater) and then in a fit of nostalgia downloaded it a couple years ago... at which point I was like, holy sh*t, She-Ra is all about lesbian Wiccan eco-feminists hiding in the woods and fighting fascist corporate patriarchy. Then I realized there wasn't enough vodka in the house to properly appreciate this, and quit watching.

So, She-Ra live action film movie dream team: Joss Whedon directs. Christina Loken plays the main character. Lucy Lawless as the evil sorceress that works for Hordak. Let's up his "creepy villian" quality by a factor of ten, make him quit pig-snorting, and have Christopher Walken play him. Shirley Mclain as the annoying little witch, can't remember her name. I'm trying to think of an actor gay enough to play Beau, the Resistance's token male. Maybe Collin Farrel? I'm not sure he could camp up the tights and rainbows costume enough, though, nor the heart-headed arrows. Or maybe Hugh Jackman, if you've seen any of his photos from his dancing days.

As no one could possibly come out of this movie looking even remotely dignified or straight, it should be as campy and over-the-top as possible while still being an action flick.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but I want to watch it RIGHT NOW.

 

[conflictofinterests]

Okay, my main issue with this (and sorry to gripe about what is a minor point) is that she's not an archaeologist. Sure there are some similarities to the archaeologists of the past, who were rich men who went and gathered treasures and sat around discussing them and feeling self important, but even what they did is not really considered archaeology by modern standards. She's more like an antiquities dealer/collector, bane of archaeologists everywhere. Moving on.

SNIP

My point is that when I was little I wanted to be a Disney princess, whereas now I want to be Indiana Jones.

I lol'd. You kinda walked into that one there.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

Dear lord, I didn't think anyone else remembered Beyblade.

 

[Vortigar]

I've heard that Gail Simone's Birds of Prey comics are pretty popular among women.

Birds of Prey was turned into a series in the late nineties or early 00's. It was shot down after 13 episodes. They had some cool ideas and handily avoided the horrible costumes of the B's of P but apart from geek fun it pretty much failed. It contains the best depiction of Batgirl/Oracle yet though.

So yeah, I reckon there's untapped potential there. The Birds of Prey are not a girl franchise though, its still mainly geared towards boys, the girls just pick it up because its well written. Just like the Sandman (to point out the elephant in the room), which had loads of female readers but isn't specifically aimed at anything.

They already did a Totally Spies film, it's called Charlie's Angels and it sucks.

Uhm? I'm not certain whether you've heard of the 70's Charlie's Angels series upon which both the modern movies and Totally Spies were based. If you have, never mind.

personally I didn't think the CA movies were all that bad. Mindless nonsense for fun. They should've went with the comedy angle a bit more though, the most memorable moments of those movies are the jokes, not the action scenes. More gadgets and more jokes and if then they really could've called it Totally Spies and be done with it.

 

[Hiraeth]

I lol'd. You kinda walked into that one there.

Haha I guess so. Still, what I meant was where I used to want to find true love and live happily ever after, now (cliche as it might sound) I want to see the world.

Speaking of seeing the world, I would watch the hell out of a film about Carmen Sandiego.

 

[MaraJade03]

I am a Child of the Eighties and I'm sad to say I can't really recall too much "Girly" Stuff. Loved She-ra and He-man growing up, even had play sets. I can recall some bits and piece of the shows Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Bright, but it gets a little fuzzy. I watched Fraggle Rock and Care Bears too but that most likely more boys then girls.
Movies I watched were The Last Unicorn and Disney movies and just random fantasy movies my parents let me rent. Does Dark Crystal and Labyrinth count as girl Movies?

Doesn't Help that I had a older brother so ending up watching Transformers and G.I. Joe, and lots of Voltron. At least Voltron had a Female in the main group who can be the girly princess and still go into battle.

I guess I just liked and identified with the female characters in the "guy" shows like Elisa from Gargoyles and Blackarachnia from Beast Wars.

I do remember one thing a lot of people seem to forget, Lady Lovely Locks. Show about girls with beautiful colorful hair... and thats about it.Oh and they can do magic with the hair somehow, and have colorful pixies like pets. I remember being sad or annoyed that the raven hair girl was the "evil" one. Any one else remember it?

 

[Sheinen]

Was The Moomins a girl show? My sisters frickin loved it and I sure as hell didn't...still, could be interesting in 3D if only for the weird faces.

It'd be tricky to make an Easy-Bake Oven movie... Unless the oven was a relic from the 70's that magically transformed any consumer of it's luke-warm treats into a unicorn. I might watch that for chuckles.

Erm...running low on stuff really Bob...most of the gumf my sisters played with was glittery hair care, OTT make-up and some terrifying head that had re-growing hair. Oh no, wait, what were those horrible little velvet rabbity things? Erm... The Sylvanian Families! Eurgh!!! My god, they used to feel like an unsuccessful everest climbers toes.

Care Bear's were unjustifiably popular as well. I mean what did they actually do? Other than wander around being friendly and polite to each other?

The only thing I can think of that would make a GOOD movie would be following Batgirl. Watching the difficult rise to batman's tagalong before the horrifying injury that oracle's her up for life. But while Mr Nolan's got his fingers firmly in the batman pie that's unlikely to happen.

 

[Sheinen]

Movies I watched were The Last Unicorn and Disney movies and just random fantasy movies my parents let me rent. Does Dark Crystal and Labyrinth count as girl Movies?

You just listed 4 of my childhood staples! Awesome, I thought I was the only person who'd ever seen the Last Unicorn! Oooh, did you ever see The Flight of the Dragons? I had it on the same tape when I was a kid...

 

[LadyRhian]

I wasn't much into the Toy Aisle in the 80's. Yes, I loved Barbies as a kid, but I was between 4th and 5th grade when I got into D&D and from then on, my life descended into "Boy's likes" territory. I watched the Tarzan Cartoon on Saturday Morning, along with Blackstar, Bravestar, Silverhawks, Photon, Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers (they had some strong characters on that show, including Niko, the female telepath character- but my favorites were Doc and Shane Gooseman. The first was a Lando Calrissian lookalike who was a master hacker, and the second was a mutant supersoldier who could literally adapt to anything), Battle of the Planets, Captain Power (My god, I loved that show!), Centurions, Defenders of the Earth (Flash Gordon, Mandrake the Magician, The Phantom and Lothar (a Black strongman-type character) team up to fight Ming the Merciless and rescue Flash's wife, Dale.

I also watched Dungeons and Dragons (and the live-action version, Wizards and Warriors, with Duncan Regehr and Jeff Conway), G.I. Joe, the Inhumanoids, Jem, Inspector Gadget (lets not forget that his niece is the real hero of that show!), The Littles, M.A.S.K. (ask me about the totally inappropriate feelings I had for Brad, the guy who rode the motorcycle/helicopter), Mighty Max (with his friends, Norman and Virgil, the Lemurian Chicken ("Fowl, actually!")), Thundarr, the Barbarian, Visionaries, Voltron (I preferred the Vehicle Voltron to the Lion Crew), Wheeled Warriors and the live-action stuff like Jason of Star Command. I also remember a show about a female asian magician searching the world to recapture/rescue magical stones, which they used to great effect. After the show, the real magician it was based on would come out and do an illusion/magic trick. Ah, Tenko and the Guardians of the Magic... and that was the 90's. Dang.

Well, if you want something strongly "Girly", I'd go with The Galaxy Rangers. I have such fond memories of that show, and it was well-written. Or "Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future". Tim Dunigan. Rrrowr!

 

[Something Amyss]

Girls toys were universally shitty. There's no getting around it. I played with barbies when I was really little, but when I did that I was imitating relationships. Girl stuff tended to be shit because no one knew how to write for girls. Chick flicks are about emotional roller coasters, or they try to be, but girl's programming was about nonsensical fluff. Boys programming got stuff done. People apparently didn't think girls could handle serious issues, when apparently they lap that shit up when it comes out for us. I hate to say it because I will never touch that damn franchise myself, but Twilight may have been so popular because girls are pretty much STARVED for youth-focused media that tugs on your heart strings, however ham-fistedly they may be doing it.

NO, SOME DAMN PONY CONTRACTING THE ICKIES FROM AN EVIL WIZARD DOES NOT COUNT AS EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING.

Don't forget, women don't like conflict.

Or so they say.

 

[Tandtroll]

I've always been a bit of a girly girl, but since I had an older brother he often dictated what we saw on TV meaning it was less My little ponies (the 90's series with highschool twist which I LOVED) and more Dennis the menace. But there are some things I remember watching and loving as a little girl, and some of those things still make me all happy if I find a copy of it somewhere.

- My little ponies. This has been brought up a lot so I won't do it.

- Sandybell. An old anime from about the same era as Lady Lovely Locks, but with a more Pippi Longstocking kind of female lead. While silly, it actually had a lot of depth for a girl show.

- The pirates of Dark Water. Now this was a totally awesome and supercool series. Sadly it got cancelled and was never finished but really... It had evil pirates (one voiced by Tim Curry), polluting the alien worlds waters with something resembling oil, and then there were the heroes. A cute hero type enlists the aid of two others: a guy with a moustache and a wicked cool girl who could fight for herself, being an ecomancer. It was awesome!. If they made a new series or a movie with that IP I would go see it and I'd bring all my friends along too. The intro (exists on youtube) is still enough to make me all giddy and excited. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pirates_of_Dark_Water

 

[Jacob.pederson]

I think the lack of female analogs to the GI Joe/ Transformers movies is mostly an indictment of the modern american male. Which is to say at a certain age girls became women, and to quote the good book, put away childish things.
Contrastingly movie going 18-35 year old males still live in a psuedo-childhood, where giant robots, and super heroes, and such are still cool.
I don't claim to understand the old generations very well. But I'm pretty sure if 18 year old male in 1978 told other 18 year old he wanted to see a Howdy Doody movie, he would have been ostracized and burnt at the disco stake.

I partially agree with this, but I'm not so sure of the date cut-off. Here is a rough theory. Girls mature faster than boys, so isn't it possible that the reason girls toys all skew so young is that girls lose interest in toys at a younger age than boys? Aren't girls consumed by real social minutiae, while their male counterparts are still fully absorbed by hypothetical "which Jedi would win contests?"

Anecdote: I'm 31, but I have much more play in common with my nine-year-old boy than my wife. We play with our technics, or with our tower defense Starcraft 2 mods with abandon. The only thing we can all agree on is MINECRAFT. When I go out to buy a toy for my kid, I'm thinking would I like this, not would he like this.

As far as the Howdy Doody thing goes, I think you're just making the wrong correlation. Sure, the eighteen-year-old of 1978 wouldn't be caught dead at such a film, but how about a cowboy movie? Additionally, how likely would that 1978 young adult to be found playing ball with his dad, vs a similar aged female being found playing (I have no idea what) with her mom? The question doesn't even make sense, we instinctively know that females who are close with each other, talk with each other (as a higher percentage of time). Males that are close play with each other (as a higher percentage of time) well into their adult life. Example: my dad is 50 plus now, and he has friends over to play chess. Think two young married couples that are friends. How soon are the males off playing Gears of War while the females catch up?

What do you think of my theory? Admittedly I haven't got the science for it, but I'd sure like to see some.