Film This Chick Stuff! Part One: A Call for Aid

[jollyblue]

To movienut's comment that most pink aisle toys are "not just "girlie" but also toddlerish", frankly most of the boy's toys are toddlerish too. It's just that big robots and army men can make action movies. I think there might be problems with trying to create direct parallels of the "remake of a classic toy for boys"; can you imagine a live action, gritty, realistic Ranbow Brite movie (by Michael Bay, of course)? So if boy's toys were parodies of action, what are most girl's toys parodies of?

Barbie - think "Last Action Hero" meets "Legally Blonde"; a young girl gets sucked into Barbie's world, enjoys it for about 20 minutes, then comes home and brings Barbie with. Now Barbie has to learn to be a real woman in the modern world, and when she eventually returns to her dream home she's going to have words with Ken!

Jem - Hanna Montana meets Madonna! Maybe HM has taken this off the table for a while, but "derivative" doesn't seem to usually stop these movies.

The Littles - not purely girly, a bit more neutral. But it has a Spiderwick Chronicals/Chipmunks vibe to it, and a built-in "Awwwww!" factor!

My Little Pony - Awesome! One magic pony gets stuck on a farm where the smart-but-unpopular girl has to help it get healthy and get home. Along the way they become friends, and learn a lesson about life...

Ranbow Brite - This has the potential for franchise, plus multi-ethnic appeal built in.

She-Ra - Yes, but not until we get a decent He-Man movie!

Female comic book characters - lots of good, strong characters (if little known), but I get the feeling that even heroes like Wonder Woman are empowering the girls less than pandering to the boys.

Strawberry Shortcake - actually feels too dated. Might be challenging to update this without completely losing the charm of the origi....You know what? Never mind. Hasn't stopped them before.

Go-bots - not for the girls, but came up in a search and now I want!

Pound Puppies - Do I even need to explain this one? A bunch of cool, anthropomorphized puppies!

Sylvanian Families - As above, but more so!

Glo-Worm - Again, not so much about the characters, but a story built around the toy itself. Maybe a magic toy that grants wishes as it glows, or just the last relic of a missing parent the serves as a guiding light through a precarious tweenage.

...I'm starting to get to that point where girl's toys don't have as much backstory or characterization. I think boys toys grew from baseball cards, where you collected your favorite heroes and idols, and girls toys grew more from playing house and relatively generic dolls.

Of course, plenty of boys toys got movies without enough backstory to fill the opening credits, so that may not be a problem.

 

[conflictofinterests]

She-ra is the only "girly" cartoon character I can really remember. Only He-Man was on in rural MN though so I only saw the movie (twice in the theater) and then in a fit of nostalgia downloaded it a couple years ago... at which point I was like, holy sh*t, She-Ra is all about lesbian Wiccan eco-feminists hiding in the woods and fighting fascist corporate patriarchy. Then I realized there wasn't enough vodka in the house to properly appreciate this, and quit watching.

So, She-Ra live action film movie dream team: Joss Whedon directs. Christina Loken plays the main character. Lucy Lawless as the evil sorceress that works for Hordak. Let's up his "creepy villian" quality by a factor of ten, make him quit pig-snorting, and have Christopher Walken play him. Shirley Mclain as the annoying little witch, can't remember her name. I'm trying to think of an actor gay enough to play Beau, the Resistance's token male. Maybe Collin Farrel? I'm not sure he could camp up the tights and rainbows costume enough, though, nor the heart-headed arrows. Or maybe Hugh Jackman, if you've seen any of his photos from his dancing days.

As no one could possibly come out of this movie looking even remotely dignified or straight, it should be as campy and over-the-top as possible while still being an action flick.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but I want to watch it RIGHT NOW.

 

[conflictofinterests]

Okay, my main issue with this (and sorry to gripe about what is a minor point) is that she's not an archaeologist. Sure there are some similarities to the archaeologists of the past, who were rich men who went and gathered treasures and sat around discussing them and feeling self important, but even what they did is not really considered archaeology by modern standards. She's more like an antiquities dealer/collector, bane of archaeologists everywhere. Moving on.

SNIP

My point is that when I was little I wanted to be a Disney princess, whereas now I want to be Indiana Jones.

I lol'd. You kinda walked into that one there.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

Dear lord, I didn't think anyone else remembered Beyblade.

 

[Vortigar]

I've heard that Gail Simone's Birds of Prey comics are pretty popular among women.

Birds of Prey was turned into a series in the late nineties or early 00's. It was shot down after 13 episodes. They had some cool ideas and handily avoided the horrible costumes of the B's of P but apart from geek fun it pretty much failed. It contains the best depiction of Batgirl/Oracle yet though.

So yeah, I reckon there's untapped potential there. The Birds of Prey are not a girl franchise though, its still mainly geared towards boys, the girls just pick it up because its well written. Just like the Sandman (to point out the elephant in the room), which had loads of female readers but isn't specifically aimed at anything.

They already did a Totally Spies film, it's called Charlie's Angels and it sucks.

Uhm? I'm not certain whether you've heard of the 70's Charlie's Angels series upon which both the modern movies and Totally Spies were based. If you have, never mind.

personally I didn't think the CA movies were all that bad. Mindless nonsense for fun. They should've went with the comedy angle a bit more though, the most memorable moments of those movies are the jokes, not the action scenes. More gadgets and more jokes and if then they really could've called it Totally Spies and be done with it.

 

[Hiraeth]

I lol'd. You kinda walked into that one there.

Haha I guess so. Still, what I meant was where I used to want to find true love and live happily ever after, now (cliche as it might sound) I want to see the world.

Speaking of seeing the world, I would watch the hell out of a film about Carmen Sandiego.

 

[MaraJade03]

I am a Child of the Eighties and I'm sad to say I can't really recall too much "Girly" Stuff. Loved She-ra and He-man growing up, even had play sets. I can recall some bits and piece of the shows Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Bright, but it gets a little fuzzy. I watched Fraggle Rock and Care Bears too but that most likely more boys then girls.
Movies I watched were The Last Unicorn and Disney movies and just random fantasy movies my parents let me rent. Does Dark Crystal and Labyrinth count as girl Movies?

Doesn't Help that I had a older brother so ending up watching Transformers and G.I. Joe, and lots of Voltron. At least Voltron had a Female in the main group who can be the girly princess and still go into battle.

I guess I just liked and identified with the female characters in the "guy" shows like Elisa from Gargoyles and Blackarachnia from Beast Wars.

I do remember one thing a lot of people seem to forget, Lady Lovely Locks. Show about girls with beautiful colorful hair... and thats about it.Oh and they can do magic with the hair somehow, and have colorful pixies like pets. I remember being sad or annoyed that the raven hair girl was the "evil" one. Any one else remember it?

 

[Sheinen]

Was The Moomins a girl show? My sisters frickin loved it and I sure as hell didn't...still, could be interesting in 3D if only for the weird faces.

It'd be tricky to make an Easy-Bake Oven movie... Unless the oven was a relic from the 70's that magically transformed any consumer of it's luke-warm treats into a unicorn. I might watch that for chuckles.

Erm...running low on stuff really Bob...most of the gumf my sisters played with was glittery hair care, OTT make-up and some terrifying head that had re-growing hair. Oh no, wait, what were those horrible little velvet rabbity things? Erm... The Sylvanian Families! Eurgh!!! My god, they used to feel like an unsuccessful everest climbers toes.

Care Bear's were unjustifiably popular as well. I mean what did they actually do? Other than wander around being friendly and polite to each other?

The only thing I can think of that would make a GOOD movie would be following Batgirl. Watching the difficult rise to batman's tagalong before the horrifying injury that oracle's her up for life. But while Mr Nolan's got his fingers firmly in the batman pie that's unlikely to happen.

 

[Sheinen]

Movies I watched were The Last Unicorn and Disney movies and just random fantasy movies my parents let me rent. Does Dark Crystal and Labyrinth count as girl Movies?

You just listed 4 of my childhood staples! Awesome, I thought I was the only person who'd ever seen the Last Unicorn! Oooh, did you ever see The Flight of the Dragons? I had it on the same tape when I was a kid...

 

[LadyRhian]

I wasn't much into the Toy Aisle in the 80's. Yes, I loved Barbies as a kid, but I was between 4th and 5th grade when I got into D&D and from then on, my life descended into "Boy's likes" territory. I watched the Tarzan Cartoon on Saturday Morning, along with Blackstar, Bravestar, Silverhawks, Photon, Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers (they had some strong characters on that show, including Niko, the female telepath character- but my favorites were Doc and Shane Gooseman. The first was a Lando Calrissian lookalike who was a master hacker, and the second was a mutant supersoldier who could literally adapt to anything), Battle of the Planets, Captain Power (My god, I loved that show!), Centurions, Defenders of the Earth (Flash Gordon, Mandrake the Magician, The Phantom and Lothar (a Black strongman-type character) team up to fight Ming the Merciless and rescue Flash's wife, Dale.

I also watched Dungeons and Dragons (and the live-action version, Wizards and Warriors, with Duncan Regehr and Jeff Conway), G.I. Joe, the Inhumanoids, Jem, Inspector Gadget (lets not forget that his niece is the real hero of that show!), The Littles, M.A.S.K. (ask me about the totally inappropriate feelings I had for Brad, the guy who rode the motorcycle/helicopter), Mighty Max (with his friends, Norman and Virgil, the Lemurian Chicken ("Fowl, actually!")), Thundarr, the Barbarian, Visionaries, Voltron (I preferred the Vehicle Voltron to the Lion Crew), Wheeled Warriors and the live-action stuff like Jason of Star Command. I also remember a show about a female asian magician searching the world to recapture/rescue magical stones, which they used to great effect. After the show, the real magician it was based on would come out and do an illusion/magic trick. Ah, Tenko and the Guardians of the Magic... and that was the 90's. Dang.

Well, if you want something strongly "Girly", I'd go with The Galaxy Rangers. I have such fond memories of that show, and it was well-written. Or "Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future". Tim Dunigan. Rrrowr!

 

[Something Amyss]

Girls toys were universally shitty. There's no getting around it. I played with barbies when I was really little, but when I did that I was imitating relationships. Girl stuff tended to be shit because no one knew how to write for girls. Chick flicks are about emotional roller coasters, or they try to be, but girl's programming was about nonsensical fluff. Boys programming got stuff done. People apparently didn't think girls could handle serious issues, when apparently they lap that shit up when it comes out for us. I hate to say it because I will never touch that damn franchise myself, but Twilight may have been so popular because girls are pretty much STARVED for youth-focused media that tugs on your heart strings, however ham-fistedly they may be doing it.

NO, SOME DAMN PONY CONTRACTING THE ICKIES FROM AN EVIL WIZARD DOES NOT COUNT AS EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING.

Don't forget, women don't like conflict.

Or so they say.

 

[Tandtroll]

I've always been a bit of a girly girl, but since I had an older brother he often dictated what we saw on TV meaning it was less My little ponies (the 90's series with highschool twist which I LOVED) and more Dennis the menace. But there are some things I remember watching and loving as a little girl, and some of those things still make me all happy if I find a copy of it somewhere.

- My little ponies. This has been brought up a lot so I won't do it.

- Sandybell. An old anime from about the same era as Lady Lovely Locks, but with a more Pippi Longstocking kind of female lead. While silly, it actually had a lot of depth for a girl show.

- The pirates of Dark Water. Now this was a totally awesome and supercool series. Sadly it got cancelled and was never finished but really... It had evil pirates (one voiced by Tim Curry), polluting the alien worlds waters with something resembling oil, and then there were the heroes. A cute hero type enlists the aid of two others: a guy with a moustache and a wicked cool girl who could fight for herself, being an ecomancer. It was awesome!. If they made a new series or a movie with that IP I would go see it and I'd bring all my friends along too. The intro (exists on youtube) is still enough to make me all giddy and excited. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pirates_of_Dark_Water

 

[Jacob.pederson]

I think the lack of female analogs to the GI Joe/ Transformers movies is mostly an indictment of the modern american male. Which is to say at a certain age girls became women, and to quote the good book, put away childish things.
Contrastingly movie going 18-35 year old males still live in a psuedo-childhood, where giant robots, and super heroes, and such are still cool.
I don't claim to understand the old generations very well. But I'm pretty sure if 18 year old male in 1978 told other 18 year old he wanted to see a Howdy Doody movie, he would have been ostracized and burnt at the disco stake.

I partially agree with this, but I'm not so sure of the date cut-off. Here is a rough theory. Girls mature faster than boys, so isn't it possible that the reason girls toys all skew so young is that girls lose interest in toys at a younger age than boys? Aren't girls consumed by real social minutiae, while their male counterparts are still fully absorbed by hypothetical "which Jedi would win contests?"

Anecdote: I'm 31, but I have much more play in common with my nine-year-old boy than my wife. We play with our technics, or with our tower defense Starcraft 2 mods with abandon. The only thing we can all agree on is MINECRAFT. When I go out to buy a toy for my kid, I'm thinking would I like this, not would he like this.

As far as the Howdy Doody thing goes, I think you're just making the wrong correlation. Sure, the eighteen-year-old of 1978 wouldn't be caught dead at such a film, but how about a cowboy movie? Additionally, how likely would that 1978 young adult to be found playing ball with his dad, vs a similar aged female being found playing (I have no idea what) with her mom? The question doesn't even make sense, we instinctively know that females who are close with each other, talk with each other (as a higher percentage of time). Males that are close play with each other (as a higher percentage of time) well into their adult life. Example: my dad is 50 plus now, and he has friends over to play chess. Think two young married couples that are friends. How soon are the males off playing Gears of War while the females catch up?

What do you think of my theory? Admittedly I haven't got the science for it, but I'd sure like to see some.

 

[MaraJade03]

You just listed 4 of my childhood staples! Awesome, I thought I was the only person who'd ever seen the Last Unicorn! Oooh, did you ever see The Flight of the Dragons? I had it on the same tape when I was a kid...

OMG YES I remember Flight of the Dragons!! That was such a great film and beautifully animated too. I wish that came out on DVD so I finally get a copy and put it next to the Last Unicorn.

 

[walsfeo]

Scooby Doo? Fraggle Rock? I'd say those jump between the boy/girl line. The smartest character was a girl in Scooby Doo, and their is a pretty feminine example as well. In Fraggle Rock the most assertive (Red), soulful (Mokey), and wise (Trash Heap) characters were female. While I also love the Muppet Show, but I don't think it has as many strong female characters.

I'd love to see a new Fraggle rock movies developed.

 

[cathou]

being born in the late 70's my childhood was before the Simpsons existed, and back then i wasnt speaking english at all. Our local tv station was putting on air mostly france-japan anime production.

one of the tv show that i watched was this one. and it was very good

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat%27s_Eye_(anime)

escaflowne (i was a teen but still) was very good too. Honestly for toys i was playing mostly boy toys and video games

 

[vid87]

My staples were TMNT and Power Rangers, so I wasn't much for the chick stuff. I did watch Sailor Moon for a while when it was on Toonami, and I thought Power Puff Girls was fun (even though the first time I saw it I was honestly convinced it was some kind of joke instead of an actual show), but for the most part I never really knew that much about girl-centered shows until many years later. That said, here are my thought the possibilities:

-There IS a live-action Barbie movie in development, but not much is being said.
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=59406

....more later

Had to step away for a bit.

-While recognizable and definite draws for both the younger crowd and female nostalgics, I can only see things like My Little Pony and Pound Puppies ending one way - horribly. You know damn well, in the modern age of cinema, that franchises like these will be made using realistic CGI in the vein of the Chipmunks and upcoming Smurfs and Yogi Bear movies. Oh, they'll successful, but they'll suck, and suck hard.

-I agree with VanityGirl about Totally Spies, especially if it could be live-action, but again only on the basis of marketability over actual quality. The show was successful enough for 5 seasons and allowed Marathon Productions to try other shows, including a spin-off with younger spies, so there's a good possibility it still holds some appeal. However, despite good animation with a vibrant color pallet, the rest of it was where logic and common sense went to die horribly.

-I was channel surfing one morning when I saw this clip of a movie, which I was astonished to find out was the live action Josie and the Pussycats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw2lM6ra1p0&feature=related

It may be because they're of the same genre, but I think satire like that could make Jem or something similar a far better film.

-In the fallout from the Scott Pilgrim movie, I'm a little wary to suggest web comics as a source, but there are two I believe are worth mentioning: one is rumored to be in development, the other isn't, but I think should be.

The 1st is "Princess Lucinda," which began as a series of deviantart drawings and later became a graphic novel series. It's about a young princess from a magic-based universe who comes to Earth after dark forces invade her home. She possesses near omnipotent magical abilities and much of the series and art centers on her subjugating or destroying earthlings. The website has a video of Jolie Vanier (the mean girl from the Robert Rodriguez film "Shorts") talking about possibly playing the lead role. Far from the stereotypical "girl movie" mold, this film promises a cigarette smoking, wine drinking, all-powerful female anti-hero...and she's only 12.
http://www.princesslucinda.com/

The 2nd is a recent independent work that I don't think has gotten much attention. It's a superhero comic called "Spinnerette," about nerdy young biologist Heather Brown who, after a lab accident, grows 4 extra arms and the ability to shoot webs from her.....butt. She decides to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a superhero and divides her time between fighting crime with other heroes and trying to live a normal life with her room-mate Sahira(who knows her secret). Basically, it answers the question "what would it be like to be Spiderman in real life?" The manga art style is beautiful and Heather's progression from ditzy nerd to hero is fascinating. It also boasts a wonderful fusion of geek culture and humor, from satirizing superhero cliches' (an African American hero called "Tiger" gets pissed when people assume he's "Black Tiger"), to pop-culture name-dropping (Spinnerette's outfit was patched together from a Venom costume, and her first pick for a codename - Black Widow - was abandoned when she found about the one from Marvel); hell, she's able to help uncover a cult conspiracy with her knowledge of D&D! For a potential movie that can appeal to the "nerd girls" demographic, with a little polish I'd say this is a pretty good choice.
http://www.krakowstudios.com/spinnerette/archive.php?date=20100209

 

[conflictofinterests]

Girls toys were universally shitty. There's no getting around it. I played with barbies when I was really little, but when I did that I was imitating relationships. Girl stuff tended to be shit because no one knew how to write for girls. Chick flicks are about emotional roller coasters, or they try to be, but girl's programming was about nonsensical fluff. Boys programming got stuff done. People apparently didn't think girls could handle serious issues, when apparently they lap that shit up when it comes out for us. I hate to say it because I will never touch that damn franchise myself, but Twilight may have been so popular because girls are pretty much STARVED for youth-focused media that tugs on your heart strings, however ham-fistedly they may be doing it.

NO, SOME DAMN PONY CONTRACTING THE ICKIES FROM AN EVIL WIZARD DOES NOT COUNT AS EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING.

Don't forget, women don't like conflict.

Or so they say.

I like resolving conflict.

Can't resolve what isn't there, though.

 

[cabalistics]

I remember this show "Wildfire" which seemed to aimed at girls with an ordinary girl finding out she's a secret princess and a talking horse but it seemed to have a decent story.

When she was just a baby, Princess Sara (voiced by Georgi Irene) was saved from the clutches of a wicked sorceress named Lady Diabolyn (voiced by Jessica Walter), by a mystic talking horse named Wildfire (voiced by John Vernon), who took her away from the planet Dar-Shan and deposited her in Montana where she is taken in by a farmer named John Cavanaugh (voiced by David Ackroyd). The evil Diabolyn was a stepsister to the late Queen Sarana (voiced by Amanda McBroom), whom she always considered weak and unfit to rule. In order to gain her "rightful" throne, she allied herself with the demonic Spectres. Twelve years later when Sara was ready to fight evil, Wildfire brought her back to Dar-Shan to regain her throne. Wildfire summons Sara through her magic amulet, and transports her across dimensions to her real home in Dar-Shan. Sara joins with her friends, a sorcerer named Alvinar (voiced by René Auberjonois), a young boy named Dorin (voiced by Robert Jayne), and a cowardly colt named Brutus (voiced by Susan Blu) to confront her villainous step-aunt. John Cavanaugh and Sara's friend Ellen (voiced by Lilly Moon) provided moral support from back on planet Earth.

Diabolyn is helped by the Goons, mischievous creatures led by Dweedle (voiced by Billy Barty). They were formerly Diabolyn's guards until they gained their monstrous appearances by the Spectres upon opening the urn containing them when Diabolyn told them not to.

Each episode revealed more and more of the mythical world of Dar-Shan and gave its audience a new puzzle piece to help reason out the past events that led up to the Diabolyn's tyrannical rule.

It was later revealed that Sara's adopted father John was in fact her biological father Prince Cavan sent to Earth in order to protect him from the curse which Lady Diabolyn and the Spectres had placed on Dar-Shan (Sara and Wildfire are the only ones who know John's true identity which has been kept secret even from him).

I've seen episodes of She-Ra and He-Man recently and I've got to say She-Ra has a better story as all the main characters are fighting a rebellion because the Horde had already won.

Totally Spies was decent as it had action and gadgets and attractive protaganists but it also contained highschool shopping and them trying to get guys.

 

[swenson]

More movies about superheroines. Wonder Woman, as screwed up as her origins are, is an instantly recognizable character. SOMEONE MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT HER. And any other superheroine, I'd love to see all of them. Like a Birds of Prey movie, or a decent Supergirl one.