First Contact

[Dr. UBAR]

Search Bar Approved! (Quick one)

Let's say aliens have turned up. It doesn't matter how. Now they want to kill us for their own convulted reason and humanity, in all it's wisdom, has chosen you to represent us.

You must tell the aliens anything that would convince them to let us live. What would you say?

I think I would either go on about evolution or math. But then again, I have little faith in humanity.

 

[Aur0ra145]

I'd show them a picture of Hillary Clinton and tell them to GTFO or we'd unleash her on them.

 

[Aerodynamic]

"Go ahead"

We are fucked anyway, after they see us they will let us kill ourselves off.

 

[Sleekgiant]

I'd say honestly nothing to gain here, then they would leave realizing this place sucks so bad

 

[Jakabus]

"Go ahead"

We are fucked anyway, after they see us they will let us kill ourselves off.

wow good idea =/

 

[dududf]

I'd tell them that killing perfectly good potential foot soldiers is fool hardy.

 

[Tharwen]

A picture of Chuck Norris when he's mildly irritated. The flesh would burn from their bodies.

 

[legion431]

Show them an episode of sesame street.
1 ha ha ha
2 ha ha ha
3 ha ha ha [all the way to 1 million]
eventually their heads would explode.

 

[Distazo]

Wow, such cynism on this thread. I would show them a picture of Jessica Alba and ask them if they truely want to destroy this kind of beauty.

 

[Jim From Accounting]

As iv said before * UNZIPPING SOUND*

 

[grimsprice]

I ask them if they were ever at our level of technology. If they were ever where we are.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Well I'd tell them that they have nothing to gain from humanity. We have powerful enough weapons so that we could pretty much ruin this planet if we wanted to, and in a doomsday scenario against aliens we probably would. After that happens, the planet would serve little purpose to the aliens since so much damage has been done to it. In the end they wouldn't gain much and could potentially lose a lot, so they shouldn't take the risk.

Or I would just assume the fetal position and cry. Because really, what are you supposed to do when a hyper advanced species is trying to kill you?

Wow, such cynism on this thread.

Threads like this and pessimistic responses seem to go hand in hand. I really wonder how many people actually believe that humans should be wiped out, because to me it seems like a lot of people that say that are just trying to sound edgy and cool.

 

[legion431]

Introduce them to Lady Gaga.

I think they would be confused.

 

[Vrex360]

The one thing I would make sure they don't see is the internet, because for every good site out there, there are about a million nasty sites and seriously messed up images floating around the web and people angrily trolling with all their might.
We have everything from seriously messed up porn of famous cartoon characters, 2012 end of the world alarmists, angry sites dedicated to whining about popular video games and internal civil wars based on almost nothing.
I'm pretty sure if the aliens saw that, they would see the dark underbelly of human society and realise just how worthless the human race really is.

Bottom line, if they see 'Two Girls One Cup' the human race can say goodnight.


I'm not so sure how you humans can pursuade the mighty Sangheili fleet that you lowly beings are worthy of surviving, now that I think about it.

 

[Dr. UBAR]

Introduce them to Lady Gaga.

I think they would be confused.

Hell, I'm human and that thing confuses me.

 

[Dr. UBAR]

The one thing I would make sure they don't see is the internet, because for every good site out there, there are about a million nasty sites and seriously messed up images floating around the web and people angrily trolling with all their might.
We have everything from seriously messed up porn of famous cartoon characters, 2012 end of the world alarmists, angry sites dedicated to whining about popular video games and internal civil wars based on almost nothing.
I'm pretty sure if the aliens saw that, they would see the dark underbelly of human society and realise just how worthless the human race really is.

Bottom line, if they see 'Two Girls One Cup' the human race can say goodnight.


I'm not so sure how you humans can pursuade the mighty Sangheili fleet that you lowly beings are worthy of surviving, now that I think about it.

Well that's only if the aliens are perfect. What if they have crime and hate still?

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Well, if we made first contact with a hostile alien race and I were made Earth's representative, then I would just tell them, "Well, whatever you do, don't use a computer."

 

[WraithPrince]

I'd Show them this poster

 

[Chicago Ted]

I'd show them the Pythagreum (SP?) Theory, the one about triangle sides and such. They'll have no idea about our language, but they'll be able to understand what 3, 4, and 5 are and what a right triangle is. Math is going to be the best way to show them we are intelligent.

Actually, just read this.

Spoiler

 

[Marine Mike]

My mercenary instinct would kick in and I would offer my services to them in exchange for several human servants and a sizable area of land for myself. I would then go about repopulating the human race and learning the alien's weaknesses, eventually my descendants would overthrow and enslave them. That is, only if they're technologically superior and us humans wouldn't stand a chance in a fight when they showed up.