FIRST!

[Benj17]

We have all seen it, hopefully we have never done it, but alas there are poor souls out there that gain a hard-on over being the first to post

So my question - What is a suitable punishment for these people? the more imaginative the better

EDIT: This isn't a serious post, tis a bit of fun, i honestly couldn't give a flying fudge if they do it

 

[DefunctTheory]

FIRST

EDIT: Hahaha. You knew it was going to happen.

No punishment, just ignore them. Stop taking the internet so seriously.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Well, they could be flayed, have a living snake shoved up their ass, beaten over the head with a guitar, tied to the front of a train driving through a minefield, hit a mine, jump two hundred feet in the air, and try to scatter themselves over a wide area.

 

[FalloutJack]

What they usually get: A ban.

Seriously, it's not a prominent issue. They get there, they stupidly call it out, and then the hammer comes down with a clang. End of story. I suppose if you really wanted to have fun with it, invent a feedback device that allows them to experience the hammer for real.

 

[Sir Kemper]

Castration and lemon juice.


Okay, seriously though, just ignore it, not worth the effort

 

[tzimize]

I've never gotten the point of first posts. I mean...its not like their post is more important...rather the other way around...I'd say the disapproval by the rest of the community is almost punishment enough, but since it clutters everything up a probation/ban is nice to nip it in the bud.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

I can't really talk, having once been famous as the guy who posts first on everything. Then those younglings Furburt and Hubilub stole my niche. Grr.

The real question s who cares? They usually get banned and it's pretty easy to ignore one word. If you get annoyed you're no better as you're placing value on that top spot on the thread.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Other than a mighty swing of the banhammer reigning down upon them..i say a dragging into the central square and having them burned at the stake.

 

[FightThePower]

They just need a slap.

Nothing too harsh, just enough to make them stop doing it.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

They are added to my "To-be-shot" list. This list is now larger than the largest book in the world (which, incidentally, is unpublished, and is called "All the Reasons I Dislike Children - Of Course I Never Was One Ever", by KillerMidget).

 

[ethaninja]

If it is possible? Suspend them. If they keep doing it, IP perma ban them. (The reason perma bans are fair is because, if they didn't get the first couple of warnings, they aren't going to stop. Therefore, might as well deal with the problem now rather then wait for the poison to fill or some such metaphor. Ok now I'm just rambling because I like the sound of my keyboard.

Spoiler

Just ignore this spoiler, I'm currently on a roll of typing on my keyboard and I don't want the flow to stop and it's making me feel better every time I hear a keypress. So thats pretty fun =) If you do however wish to read this, then I shall tell a story. Once upon a time there was a biiiiiiiig house. So big that all the other houses were jelouse or however you spell it. One day, Mr House Numero Uno, walked up to the big house and said "HEY, TEACHERS! Leave those kids alone!"

 

[LeonLethality]

Being sent to the back of the line in everything in life. Being last.

 

[Mr. Grey]

Fourteenth!

And I don't really care... I've become so jaded that someone shouting "FIRST!" doesn't really strike me as evil, annoying or rude. All it garners from me is a resounding "Meh..." and that's pretty much because of how much I've seen it. Besides... flaying the ones that do it only give the others cause to continue it in greater numbers.

 

[Sovvolf]

What they usually get: A ban.

Seriously, it's not a prominent issue. They get there, they stupidly call it out, and then the hammer comes down with a clang. End of story. I suppose if you really wanted to have fun with it, invent a feedback device that allows them to experience the hammer for real.

These guys annoy me but a ban will do. However the forced feedback device has my thumbs up, only replace the hammer with a hand which slaps the fellow round the back of the head while the monitor reads the words TWAT!... then I'll be satisfied.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

anyone know where this started....it poped up around 2008

 

[khaimera]

Lets make them eat peanut butter and meatball sandwiches. Then go back to not caring and not making useless threads.

 

[DefunctTheory]

anyone know where this started....it poped up around 2008

Way older than that.

 

[Soxafloppin]

They get suspension, look at the first few comments on tomarrows ZP.

 

[Icecoldcynic]

I think it's a lot sadder that it bothers you this much. Maybe go outside once in a while?

 

[Souplex]

They get suspension, look at the first few comments on tomarrows ZP.

Actually that's moreof because they comment without watching (Yes that is against the rules)