Flirting with strangers :-D
- Thread starter Annoying Turd
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And yet he still got someone.Sentox6 said:This is the least imaginative trolling I've seen this month.Annoying Turd said:I can't keep girls :-( They always leave me and never come back.
Im such a loser... a girlfriendless loser
I couldn't disagree more with this - if you approach a stranger (or someone you've admired from a distance) and decide to start 'building a relationship', that's just a little bit creepy and weird (for the other person, I mean). If you're talking to someone because you're attracted to them then you do really need to indicate that to them in some way, or you'll be starting things off a bit disingenuously.Biodeamon said:
Building a relationship is something that happens because you're already interested in someone; if you decide to do it from the get-go, you're going to end up putting the other person off (because you're trying too hard... and because you've decided to create something that can only ever be a mutual decision).
Flirting is just social lubrication - really anything you do to show somebody that you're interested is flirting (from going up and talking to them in the first place). So to answer the original question -
Talk to them, be friendly. That's really all there is to it.Annoying Turd said:
(and if you don't have any self-confidence, just pretend that you do)
Oh yeah, and don't aim out of your league - if you're a penniless elephant man with no real personality to speak of, don't start chatting to supermodels and actresses. Try a girl who is interested in at least some of the same things as you, and generally who isn't 800% more attractive.
Homestuck. It is a webcomic. Thing. And you should read it right now.Mo-shi said:
It starts off a little slow. Just some dude dicking around in his room. Then EVERYTHING HAPPENS and you are hooked forever.
Or you are not because, you know, opinions. But it has a pretty huge following for a reason.
Don't call yourself a loser. If you have the boldness to flirt with strangers, you clearly have a lot more self-esteem than you think you do. Humor is always charming. You don't have to be a wise guy either. Do an obvious joke: "That server is working hard for a tip, aren't they?". Then if they don't laugh, poke fun at yourself: "God, that was a bad joke wasn't it?" No easier way to break the ice than to make the other person laugh.
The best flirting is when you're not doing it consciously. If you go out of you way to be this hardcore flirt, you might come off a little aggressive, maybe even creepy. But if you just engage the girl with a bit of light conversation, a little harmless humor, get her laughing, and then maybe drop a compliment or two (maybe not something as cheesy as this, but: "you're pretty when you smile") and then the girl will at least think "hey, here's a nice guy". But keep the conversation short, 10-15 minutes tops. Short and sweet, always best. And the compliments are important to, so that she knows that you're interested in her.
If she gives you her number and especially if you ask for hers, contact her. You don't have to wait. You won't seem desperate, you'll seem interested. If I gave a boy my number and he didn't call me, I'd automatically think "well, he clearly didn't like me all that much". If you don't want to call, just text: "Hey you, I was just [insert relatable topic here] and it made me think of you. How are you?" or something along those lines. But don't just say hey. All she's going to do is say hey back. Say SOMETHING. Part of what makes someone attractive is if they're engaging. So be engaging.
Yikes. Wall of text. Hope some of this is helpful to the cause!
The best flirting is when you're not doing it consciously. If you go out of you way to be this hardcore flirt, you might come off a little aggressive, maybe even creepy. But if you just engage the girl with a bit of light conversation, a little harmless humor, get her laughing, and then maybe drop a compliment or two (maybe not something as cheesy as this, but: "you're pretty when you smile") and then the girl will at least think "hey, here's a nice guy". But keep the conversation short, 10-15 minutes tops. Short and sweet, always best. And the compliments are important to, so that she knows that you're interested in her.
If she gives you her number and especially if you ask for hers, contact her. You don't have to wait. You won't seem desperate, you'll seem interested. If I gave a boy my number and he didn't call me, I'd automatically think "well, he clearly didn't like me all that much". If you don't want to call, just text: "Hey you, I was just [insert relatable topic here] and it made me think of you. How are you?" or something along those lines. But don't just say hey. All she's going to do is say hey back. Say SOMETHING. Part of what makes someone attractive is if they're engaging. So be engaging.
Yikes. Wall of text. Hope some of this is helpful to the cause!
Im with you on this one. Flirting is a great way to get to know people. Doesn't matter what gender or sexuality the person has.Johnnyallstar said:
I usually talk to strangers on the bus or whatever. All you need is a reason to talk to them. Like asking if you have tooth paste around your lips. The best way to get in touch with strangers is to ask for advice. I was bored one day on my way home from school. There was a cute girl sitting next to me. I decide to talk to her.
"excuse me. I know we don't know each other but I really need your help with something. *insert advice*"
as long as it's not something super serious or completely irrelevant for the person, it'll answer whatever you made need answered.
This is also a good way to see what kind of person it is. If it's a boring/pretentious person, it'll give you the hairy eye or a short answer. Is the person a cool person, it'll answer in detail and ask for more details of the problem in order to give you a precise answer.
That's how I do it
give it a try. It's awesome to talk to strangers!
I think I rather unfairly responded to you when I was really replying (in my mind) to the dozens of men I've encountered (online and in real-life) who seem to think that the way to a girl's heart is "Love her from afar, pretend to be her friend for 3 years while building a shrine to her in your basement (and listening to her moan about her boyfriends), then tell her you love her and become suicidal when she runs screaming in the other direction".Biodeamon said:
I realise now that I may have issues.
Sorry about that.
This is pretty much the best advice anyone can give you here.The Rogue Wolf said:
Girls love the confidence but not the arseholes. Be that likeable guy, not 'that guy'.
Basically the only thing you need to know is to be confident, but not a douche.
Don't listen to this man. He knows nothing about picking up girls; pick up lines will always work. 100% guaranteed.mazzjammin22 said:
Just have fun. If you screw up, at least you won't see them again. And if you do, no shame. Compliment minor things. Rings, scarves, wrist-bands, etc (I work at a convenience store. When I see a Hello Kitty Credit Card, I never hesitate to comment on that shit. I'm ruthless. And sometimes, you can even make "That's fucking adorable" sound heart-warming).
Just... say something. Even if you're awkward, the more you say something, the faster you learn what not to say, and the better you do next time.
Just... say something. Even if you're awkward, the more you say something, the faster you learn what not to say, and the better you do next time.
Huh. It's like you reached into my brain and tore out my initial reaction to this thread (which is trolltastic by the way).2012 Wont Happen said:
For anyone actually looking for advice on flirting with girls from this thread, here's a starter. Try your hardest not to be a whiny *****, and I say that in the nicest way possible. Always step into a conversation carrying confidence with you. Make and at least try to maintain eye contact (its okay if you can't hold eye contact but it is important that you at least attempt it).
Pick up lines can be used but only for ironic effect. For example, you could jokingly pitch a pick up line and then draw attention to how ridiculous it is and how you, as a cultured, refined human being, would never say something so idiotic (points scored here for attempts at humor, understanding of irony, and breaking the ice all in one go).
Always make your intentions known within the first five minutes of flirting. If you are DTF then you should should be hinting at it twice a minute at most (good use of subtle sexual innuendo works wonder here).
This is probably the most important part of what I know. Do any of you remember Seth Rogen's advice from the 40-year old virgin? "Just ask questions" Its not quite as simple as that but it does work. Asking questions about the girl you're talking to (what she likes, hates, thinks about, etc.) makes it known that you have an interest in her that goes beyond her body and, frankly, you should be that interested. However, if you are not, let her talk about herself anyway and just act as a sounding board for her thoughts.
Note: Everything I have detailed above should be utilized with moderation in mind. Be confident but not cocky. Sexual but not perverted. Listen but do not remain silent. The balance becomes more comfortable with practice.
Happy Hunting!
Smile. Get really good at small talk. Cant emphasize that enough. Anyone you meet will be different once you get to know them, so the reverse is true for you to them, so advertising the ability to carry on a conversation will usually get you a second chance to have one and get to know the person. And if you arent good at it (im a friendly person but i really had to learn how to small talk with people): ask them questions, but dont make it an interview. Notice things about her (even small things) that you could potentially have in common and ask her a question about it. At first its good to keep it broad so you dont sound like youre grasping at straws ("Hello i see you are wearing socks, i also have been known to wear socks"). Asking generic questions may make you feel stupid, but its not the question that matters, its her response and your response to her response that is important.
