Flirting with strangers :-D

[smearyllama]

Look cool. Lean against a wall, or, if a wall isn't handy, against air.
Always wear sunglasses, and try very hard not to bump into things when indoors.
Ride a motorcycle everywhere, including indoors. Make sure you know how to ride first, though, as horrific crashes aren't very suave.
Learn to wink, and replace blinking with winking. It may look like you have a facial twitch, but keep at it. It'll look cool eventually.
When in doubt, just mutter something about being ironic and leg it.

In all seriousness, just be confident while not overconfident. Good luck finding that balance, though it's easier than leaning on air.

Good hygiene is important.
After all, cleanliness is next to godliness.

"Classically, very few people have considered that cleanliness is next to godliness, apart from in a very sternly abridged dictionary."
-Terry Pratchett.
Sorry, mate, saw a chance for a Terry Pratchett quote and couldn't resist.

You want another Terry Pratchett quote?

"Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..."

So there.

 

[Vern5]

Asking people for advice with no hint of sarcasm then playing it off with lame jokes is not humour.

playing it off with lame jokes is not humour.

lame jokes is not humour.

jokes not humour

What is this I don't even

No there is some truth to that. Not all jokes are humorous. I'm sure you've heard a bad joke before?

 

[daftalchemist]

I want girls to like me, so what do you guys have for a bro on flirting with strangers?

Flirting doesn't work as well as guys think it does. Any girl worth your time (as in not total airhead bimbos) will think it's annoying. Instead, just talk to them. About normal things. It works a lot better.

And for the love of god, if a girl mentions anything at all about having a boyfriend/fiance/husband/etc., BACK THE FUCK OFF! If I have to hear one more guy tell me "he doesn't have to know", I'm going to acquire a reflex of dick-punching.

 

[Vern5]

No there is some truth to that. Not all jokes are humorous. I'm sure you've heard a bad joke before?

A joke is, by definition, humourous. Whether or not I find it funny is irrelevent.

It's extremely relevant. I wouldn't want to sit through a bad joke and apparently people on this thread aren't too keen on it either.

Anyway, I think the reason that everyone was getting on AnnoyingTurd is because of the self-deprecating humor especially in a thread where people are trying to instill confidence and give advice to him. Its sort of like trying to help somebody up from a bad fall and, when you extend your hand to aid them, they tell you to fuck off (except in a less harsh tone of voice).

 

[areksjackson]

Maybe instead of pining away for a random girl, you should try working on yourself instead? Try being comfortable by yourself before trying to attach yourself to someone else. Or you may just bring all your own issues into your relationship with her. I know it's kind of impossible not to bring your past with you.. but take care to manage it first so that it's not twenty tonnes of baggage you're dumping at her door, but a single, manageable bag that you can let her explore, and be ready to lend a hand with hers too. Metaphor over.
I don't know if that's too idealistic or whatever, but hey. Worked for me. Make yourself into the best 'you' that you can. You don't have to be super buff, or a crazy awesome guitar player that can serenade her.. Don't try to deceive someone by being false, y'know? But hey, you're probably a pretty damn cool guy, and when you believe that, she'll believe that too. Anyways, yeah, relax, and work on being a whole person. 'Cause relationships arent about looking for somebody to "complete" you. It's about looking for someone who compliments you, as a whole person. Two wholes become one, not two halves make one.

 

[Jessta]

just like everyone starts out as a noob, everyone starts out as a stranger, without talking to strangers you isolate yourself in a world full of people... Then again 'I' live on an island where the biggest crime in the last two years has been drunken driving and the biggest tradegy was a suicide so its a little less dangerous to play with strangers...

 

[FuktLogik]

Be as attractive as you can, but if you lack in that department you can make up for it by being fun and witty. Make the first move, but be aloof.

 

[Midnight Crossroads]

If you're just shy, get a wingman. Preferably a bro you can bullshit with and have fun. You'll get distracted and forget to be shy. In fact, going out with friends is a good way in general. Sitting at a bar and moping by yourself isn't going to attract anyone.

If you just suck at talking to girls, be a bro's wingman and observe. Practice on her friend.

If you suck at fashion, find a really frou-frou lesbian and ask for advice. She'll probably be good for advice on women too.

If you're fat. Work out and drink water.

Get a hobby. Girls love acting and a large proportion of the men there will be gay. Try theater. You'll basically be forced to talk to girls that way. Other good hobbies are dancing and swimming. These can all be applied to picking up chicks.

 

[Sentox6]

What is this I don't even

No, I imagine you wouldn't.

Let me try and simplify it so you can comprehend. I did not say that jokes are not humourous. I said that asking for advice in a serious manner and subsequently playing it off with banal jokes is not humorous. Note the emphasis on "and": in the English language, it serves as a conjunction, requiring (in this context) that both conditions be met before the assertion applies. Straightforward, no?

Still, whether any verbal or written construct can be characterised as "humourous" is ultimately subjective, of course. In this case, I simply chose to give the author the benefit of the doubt and interpreted his intentions as trolling; it's much more flattering than the idea that this thread was intended to somehow be funny.

In short, get off my nuts, bro -_-

 

[TwistedEllipses]

Move out of your place, and rent a cheap apartment, quit your job while at it and buy a nice Collie dog.

Go around the streets and become a street performer, wearing a Tuxedo with your collie by your side doing tricks.

See a girl you like? Tell collie dog to 'play' with her, maybe snatch her purse or something (even a glove).

Once that is done, recoup it, and smell it, as soon as she comes to you to ask for the item back, pretend that you already know that it belongs to her because of her smell.

Then, start dancing with her, without saying another word.

Bang, done. You now have a girlfriend...you're welcome.

This referencing something. My guts says the animated Titanic movie (the one where no-one dies)...

 

[Who Dares Wins]

Playing hard to get works. Gender doesn't matter.

 

[bushwhacker2k]

that's not the way to get girls dude.
You don't flirt you start building a relationship. Try and find something you both like, take an intrest in or that you both hate. Then when you think you both know eachother enough then you can start flirting.

I agree with what you're saying, but then on that note: How do you become friends with someone you don't know? Flirting and getting to know people are connected.

 

[Vern5]

snip

Here's an excerpt from the forum rules

"Flaming
Calling people names (or groups who may visit The Escapist), this includes calling others a troll"

Just because you don't find something funny does not mean the other person is trolling. Trolling is not subjective, and calling someone a troll is not giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

And oh no, self-depreciating humour. How terrible. So he's asked for advice on getting girls, and then light-heartedly told us he can't get girls? THOSE THINGS ARE TOTALLY UNRELATED

Oh wait, they're not, in fact, one leads directly from the other. Just because he wants to be happy and light hearted does not make him a troll.

It's extremely relevant. I wouldn't want to sit through a bad joke and apparently people on this thread aren't too keen on it either.

Anyway, I think the reason that everyone was getting on AnnoyingTurd is because of the self-deprecating humor especially in a thread where people are trying to instill confidence and give advice to him. Its sort of like trying to help somebody up from a bad fall and, when you extend your hand to aid them, they tell you to fuck off (except in a less harsh tone of voice).

Then leave. Noone is forcing you to "sit through it", as you say.

And what's with people on here and fucking terrible analogies? This isn't even hard. Here you go

It's like trying to help someone up after they've had a bad fall, and when you extend your hand to them, they go "haha man, I'm fucking retarded for falling over all the time". Apparently this is a terrible reaction and he should be scorned for it.

Well if you're going to react so venomously...

 

[Android2137]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDMZjj2G2qw&feature=channel_video_title

It worked for me.

That made me laugh so hard, but as a female, I have to say it'd probably work on me.

 

[Ambi]

For every moment you eye someone and extrapolate about their personality, confronting them will seem a little more awkward, in my experience. Don't put someone or certain types of people on a pedestal and let your brain be so tuned out to others that you miss casual opportunities to talk to people who could be just as interesting, for all you know. Just talk to them normally (by this I don't mean "be boring and strictly follow convention"), be nice, and have a sense of humour. You should refine your tact and confidence after a while.

Omegle

Enough said.
Meaning yes.

That place was boring. People never appreciate when I try to make meaningful or interesting conversation. I mean sure, I came across as a freak who wasn't taking them seriously, but they could at least play along. I may as well have been talking to robots who are thinking "non-generic response. Do not compute. Abort operation. Next."

 

[PatSilverFox]

For every moment you eye someone and extrapolate about their personality, confronting them will seem a little more awkward, in my experience. Don't put someone or certain types of people on a pedestal and let your brain be so tuned out to others that you miss casual opportunities to talk to people who could be just as interesting, for all you know. Just talk to them normally, be nice, and have a sense of humour. You should refine your tact and confidence after a while.

Omegle

Enough said.
Meaning yes.

That place was boring. People never appreciate when I try to make meaningful or interesting conversation. I mean sure, I came across as a freak who wasn't taking them seriously, but they could at least play along. I may as well have been talking to robots who are thinking "non-generic response. Do not compute. Abort operation. Next."

I go there to troll. ;3

 

[Vern5]

Well if you're going to react so venomously...

I am. Self-rightious people calling others "trolls" for no good reason other than disagreeing with them on some level is an unfortunate trend on this forum. Hell, it's bad enough to get a specific mention in the code of conduct.

So you're going to combat self-righteousness with a vindictive attitude, "civility be damned"?

You know I was one of the people who offered what little advice I had and there were several others who also had wonderful ideas to boost his confidence and give him the advice he was looking for. He repaid that mountain of good intentions with self-deprecation that was not easily identifiable as humor.

From where I was sitting it easily looked like trolling. Maybe it wasn't but he didn't exactly make that easy to figure out. Troll-like behavior was noticed.

Either way, calm down. This is a forum. Subtle humor doesn't transfer well here. Mistakes of translation will always be made.

 

[Gladiateher]

Get licensed to carry a concealed firearm and let it casually dangle from a shoulder strap. Inside your jacket acting as though you didn't realize it was showing. The ladies love danger. Throw in a poorly concealed bulletproof vest and a close cropped haircut and they'll flock all over you. Sometimes it helps to have some scars but not too many or in the wrong places. Hit the gym and become a living weapon. This'll net you some ladies.

 

[dmase]

Don't be afraid there are plenty out there, you fuck up once... well your only limitation is time not really women eventually you'll get it right. And yes there is a right and wrong way of going about things.

 

[Annoying Turd]

I know I'll 'compromise my integrity' someday. Keep giving me amazing advice, and you can feel better knowing that your useless exhortations might have helped a loser like me become happy :-D

Thanks for the genuine advice though. Maybe I should stop seeking advice and simply approach girls with 'hello'.