Fortune cookie corner

[Azraellod]

-Help, let me out, I'm caught in the machine, and I'm not sure how long I can keep running before I get pulled i...

There's a reference there, very badly done, but if you can get it... I still won't give you anything.

 

[bcponpcp27]

You have a talented tongue

IN BED!

Yeah, me and my friends (yay for horrible grammar on purpose!) still do that joke.

 

[sky14kemea]

"Being happy is not always being perfect."

Its a real one, and I have it somewhere in my box o' junk
It kinda works 'cause I'm a perfectionist >.<

Sadly I never get any funny ones =[ but I like reading them all the same.

 

[franzieperez]

beware of cookies bearing fortunes

 

[franzieperez]

made me laugh

 

[NeutralDrow]

"Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for the rest of eternity."

Cookie to anyone who gets that.

Rockos modern life, filburt gets it the day before he goes on the mega spin game show.

Spoiler: Cookie

 

[Baby Eater]

this fortune will self destruct in 5 4 3 *BOOM* haha i love surprises you should of seen what was left of your face

 

[Souplex]

"Being happy is not always being perfect."

Being happy is not always being perfect in bed. It works for anything.

 

[RebelRising]

A little thing my family likes to do with fortune cookies is to read them aloud and then add "...in bed" to the original fortune.

Here are some memorable ones:

"You will become the leader today...in bed."
"Avoid the opposite sex today...in bed."
"You will experience great changes in your wardrobe...in bed."

 

[BarkBark]

The last one I had said If it seems that today is a bad day, its because it is. I don't really see how that's a fortune though.

 

[Kingsman]

I'm sorry, but this is too perfect an opportunity to post this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m22L1XllRg

My favorite fortune... I can't remember anything at this point. Most of them tend to only be pieces of moral advice instead of fortunes anyway.

 

[Erana]

A little thing my family likes to do with fortune cookies is to read them aloud and then add "...in bed" to the original fortune.

Here are some memorable ones:

"You will become the leader today...in bed."
"Avoid the opposite sex today...in bed."
"You will experience great changes in your wardrobe...in bed."

Same thought I had when I got this one:
"An hour with a friend is worth more than ten with a stranger."

 

[War Penguin]

Pfft. Loser. Having to rely on a fortune cookie for guidance.
or
I know what you did last summer.
or
The game. You lost it.
or
I can see you, {INSERT PERSON'S NAME}.

EDIT: Sorry for the game thing.

 

[SovietSecrets]

I got this one when I was 12

"You have gone as far as you will in life."

Not really much of a fortune there.

 

[CrysisMcGee]

You are expecting something deep from a tiny slip of paper. The hell is wrong with you?

Okay, it's not real YET, but give it time.
It will be printed one day.

I declare thee the winner.

My favorite.

That wasn't chicken.

 

[zagazsano]

"Run..I SAID RUN DAMMIT! Trust me I'm a fortune cookie!"

 

[gbemery]

"God will give you what you want."

Wow, that is rather presumptuous of you fortune cookie!

 

[Tsaba]

Spoiler

and its true!!

 

[Souplex]

I actually got this one.
Next time, order the shrimp.

 

[Souplex]

As of tonight I have gotten the best fortune ever!
It is a really lovely day. Congratulations!