Friends, blessing or curse?

[kazork]

I was wondering what the general opinion about friends.

I used to think that my friends were the most important people in my life. I would do anything for them.
This was also the problem. They would be very dominant and dictate were we would go or what we would do. And if you did't want to go you were a pussy.

The other thing was that my father could arrange for concert tickets. In the beginning I arrange some tickets a concert I liked and asked some friends. In the end it was the other way around they would aks me for tickets even for concerts that i didn't like. And when i said no they would say that they would do that for there friends and put pressure on me.

The moment I would say that i wanted to spend my time with my girlfriend they would say stuff like BRo's before Ho's and stuff like that and making me feel guilty.

In the end I dropped them al. I went to university in another city and decided to never see them again.
It was a relief. I feel really free at the moment. I have some friends but we are not really close we just drink a beer or two sometimes. They don't expect anything from me and neither do I from them.

So I am wondering if others have had a similar exprience with friends? Or good experiences are also welcome.

 

[almaster88]

Yeah you're not alone.

When I was growing up, I used to spend time with only 4 guys, "best buddies" if you will. Anyway they all wanted me to hang out with them all the time, but I was going to travel with my Dad for a long time, and they are like " Dude dont go, just live with one of us". IF I had, I'd have ended up on drugs and in jail probably, which is what happenned to all of the except one, who got some girl pregnant and had to marry her.

Point is, friends are only friends as long as they enjoy your company and dont pressure you for stuff etc. I say you're better off.

 

[thomasronan]

Friends change. By that I mean that over time you can become different and it reaches the point where the label of "friend" is only used out of polietness. Since going to University I have realised that there are plenty of people in the world and loyalty to certian groups is only a very short term effect.

Saying that, there are still 5 people in the world I can never see not being friends with. Guess you can for special bonds that are true friends but there term is used far to much in my opinion.

 

[Lord George]

Friends can be both, I had some really good friends in primary school but they got annoying when we all went off to different secondary schools, so I ditched them all and made lots of new friends. The point being friends are good at times but dispose of them when you get bored or they get annoying. There will always be more out there.

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

Blessing pretty much all the way, and you definitely needed better friends. Guilt-trip, pressuring jerks do not count as friends. Maybe I'm unrealistic, but I would definitely do anything for my friends. If anyone dared to threaten them around me then I would like to think that I'd tear them apart. A bit more realistically, if someone threatened their lives then I would enjoy breaking his arms (he is in massive pain and he can't hurt anything in that condition).
My friends are massively important to me, possibly due to the fact that I can't stand my parents and those of my family who blindly agree to what my parents tell them (I am a delinquent video game addict who wants to overthrow my dad for some reason). In real life, I only wish he would stop calling me a worthless video game addict (in effect) every time he wants me to do something. No clue how that counts as being delinquent. I don't think he even realizes that he's being a bastard. So yeah... Get better friends, go out, have fun.

 

[SmilingKitsune]

I'm quite a solitary person, but in my life I've been fortunate enough to at various points have one or two friends that I felt I could share everything with, I've also had friends who would just pressure you into doing things you didn't really want to.
But when you do find someone you truly connect with, it's amazing.

 

[_Janny_]

Maybe I'm having too much bad luck, but I haven't really had a nice and caring friend. Most of them didn't care about anything else other than having fun and teasing others, so I decided to go solo. It's been much better to be honest, I don't have to care about their birthdays anymore or have to hide the fact that I love video games. (Yeah, they didn't approve of "geeks" like me).

 

[kazork]

The reason I brought this up is that recently the brother of my girlfriend had to spend a weekend in jail because his friends had done something stupid resulting in pharmacy burning to the ground he was present that night but was not at fault for the fire evenso he wouldn't say anything to the cops. They kept him the whole weekend for questioning.

This got me real mad because those so called friends are a bunch of drug using drop-outs that would turn there back to him if the situation was reversed en still he protects them.

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

Friends can be a blessing, if you know to tell 'genuine friend' from 'material friend'.

And you have the willpower to tell material friends to fuck off.

 

[brainfreeze215]

Good friends are very, very valuable. Time will always reveal who are your true friends and who you're better off without. But don't bother trying to hang on to unhealthy friendships.

 

[Meta Like That]

Wow... That was depressing as hell.

 

[Gxas]

Honestly, I have four true friends. Sadly, three of them are back home in Ohio. These are people I will tell anything to. If something is bothering me, they are the first to know. I trust these people with my life.

I do have other friends, but I really can't truly consider them my friends. They are just people I hang out with.

Friends are a blessing. "Friends" are a curse. It all comes down to the fact that, if they wouldn't do the same for you as you'd do for them, they aren't worth it.

 

[ZeroMachine]

I've never had a problem with friends taking advantage like that... I think you just need to find the right people to be friends with. People you think may take advantage of you are the friends you have a drink with once in a while, and people you know won't are the friends you really trust and hang out with all the time.

Life really takes a healthy balance of both types of friends. No matter how much you enjoy hanging out with someone, you WILL get sick of them to an extent, and that's where the other friends come in.

... This kinda makes me sound like a bit of a douche, doesn't it?

 

[kazork]

The funny thing was that I didn't even know it was happening. I needed someone to tell me.
I was actually defending them. Glad i finaly came to my senses.

 

[LordSnakeEyes]

Well, there are two kinds of friends:

-The Pack: You know, the trio of friends that are *always* together, the ones you feel odd introducing someone new to if it's someone who will be around from now on (aka a new guy or even worst, your new girlfriend) they can get dominant (usually opting for democracy but by then you notice that you're alone against everyone else) and Bros B4 Hoes is the motto they'll use to keep you from your girlfriend...

-The Sentient: These are people who will live without you if necessary, the ones that don't focus on "status" in the group, not seeing one or the other as the lesser of the group (although quite often, there will be the group's pack-mule... but that's a whole other story) what's awesome about this one is that, if you get a call from your girlfriend or already have a date scheduled with her, your friend won't only understand, he'll wish you luck, maybe even ask about it next time.

You started with one and ended with the other, good for you.

 

[MassiveGeek]

I have lost every single one of my really close friends for being to good and caring towards them. I tolerated all their actions and for some reason they all slipped away from me. Maby they took me for granted or something...
Real close friends should be the ones that you rarely meet and when you do spend some time with them, its pure quality time, to bad the last one of mine pretty much tried to sleep with me, happyily I refused, he unexplained left/dumped/ditched me and got together with a russian hooker.
The "friends" close to you should be the ones you hang around when you got nothing better or more fun to do. All of these friends are just people to talk to and do... stuff with, like, as you said, have a beer or two with, go to new movies with and other unrelating- non-bonding stuff.

Short answear, they can be both, but mostly theyre a curse you dont notice in the beginning before it slowly tears you to bits.

 

[ae86gamer]

Wow... That was depressing as hell.

I conquer.<--big word.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Eh. Me and my friends have an interesting way of looking at things. We all believe that we're all total asses. We cuss at each other on a normal basis, and we may hang out, but eh. Most people think we're weird because we shout stuff like "Go f*ck yourself" and then shake hands and talk with each other.

 

[vid20]

Friends are the most important thing to me in my life. I love my friends, they are seriously the reason I am the person I am today. But then I think it?s a case of finding good friends in the first place; and only keeping in infrequent polite contact with those whom you feel drag you down (and I know I have some people like that in my life.)

But good friends; no value can be placed on good friendship, and no sentiment can express just how much my closest friends mean to me.

Personal opinion of course, but I think people without good friends at really just missing out.

 

[gunluva]

I only have two true friends, and they are blessings to me.