Friends With Benefits

[Imp Poster]

Can a relationship be in limbo? Sure. I have had one for about a year. I actually, like the girl. She liked me but didn't want to commit to anything so we became close friends. I kind of felt like a safety net. I would be there for her if no one else was. Eventually, I got tired of waiting and she got hint I wasn't happy with the situation and we ended amicably.

Yes, I accepted that she was dating other people. Heck, I even tried it. But that's not me. I barely have an attention span for one person let alone another person. And trying not to get those two persons mixed up was the hardest part for me.

EDIT: College is so cool, way better than high school.

 

[dex-dex]

It can work out, The only issue is if one party wants to actually pursue a relationship with that person then it won't work.

You need to find a friend who is just willing to be a benefit and nothing more. Some people are able to seperate sex and love but not many people can.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

I was talking to a friend of mine (and for the sake of keeping this story as easy to understand as possible, let's call her "M") and discussing over relationship views.
I think it's possible for the whole "Friends With Benefits" to work, but she said that no girl would ever accept that, and said it's stupid and that my understanding of women is completely fucked up!

I was just talking to an old friend ("L" also a girl, I happen to have a lot of female friends) from way back and she completely agreed with me, and even is friends with benefits with some guy, same thing with her best friend. ("A", female, starting to get along really well, wish me luck!)

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

I'd done it with a girl or two. As long as you know the boundaries and set rules. My rules were
1. Let me know who you sleep with, so if I know a certain someone is unclean or not, I can know
2. Shower between me and him

We agreed it was just sex. Nothing else. We didn't want to date, and so any icication of genuine affection and it would be over. We cuddled, but it never felt like we were bf/gf

 

[RatRace123]

I think it could work, I've seen it work... kinda, but that's another story.
Yeah, I think bang buddies is a viable option for release that's mutually benefitial.

 

[Sarahcidal]

it depends on the individual.. but in my experience (and the experiences of my friends) no, it does not work.. someone always gets emotionally attached in the end, and that never goess very well.

 

[Flishiz]

My ex and I tried a while after breaking up to be friends with benefits, but it just turned out that it didn't work so well for either of us. We certainly weren't close enough to be in a relationship, and the sex itself was fantastic, but it's really hollow on the inside, and after a while it'll end up feeling sadder than if you spent years without so much as a peck on the cheek.

 

[acosn]

It's rare that it works- rarer than rare- mostly just because of how we work. We either want absolutely no strings attached or more than you ever wanted.

 

[MurderousToaster]

Well, it would be a very bizarre relationship in my mind. One could presume that when you actually did enjoy the "benefits" it would not be as fulfilling as it would seem.

Spoiler: Somewhat off-topic

My friends enjoy several "benefits" from me. One of these being borrowing my fucking copy of Mass Effect 2 and not giving it back for a very, very long time.

.

 

[superbatranger]

I have never once understood the concept of friends with benefits. I mean, how does it work? How do you know you have a friend that falls in the category of people who like having sex without any long-term emotional attachment or commitment? I never understood that. How am I supposed to tell? I know I can't ask them, because I'd probably come across as a pervert and possibly lose a friend in the process. Hell, how do two people end up being friends with benefits in the first place?

 

[rockera]

well I currently have a friend with benefits but were 14/15 so what can I do (and to kill a joke quickly "I can do her") grrr.

 

[Imp Poster]

I have never once understood the concept of friends with benefits. I mean, how does it work? How do you know you have a friend that falls in the category of people who like having sex without any long-term emotional attachment or commitment? I never understood that. How am I supposed to tell? I know I can't ask them, because I'd probably come across as a pervert and possibly lose a friend in the process. Hell, how do two people end up being friends with benefits in the first place?

It's all the girls fault. But usually, when women aren't sure what they want but don't want to be in a relationship to find out. In college, I found alot of girls not wanting a relationship. Not as much many girls that wanted one but suprisingly more than I would have thought. College parties is where it's at, it's not exactly like going to a club. You know, partying with people you have class with, live across the dorm room, used date your roommate, etc.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

I want one, desperately, but sadly for them, I'm a heartless bastard with the charisma of Chris-chan.

Looks like my friend with benefits will be my right hand. The benefit? An opposable thumb.

 

[Blood Countess]

I have done a few of these and yes in time emotions and feelings do get involved but not always, it really depends on the people but in general, bad idea if you don't want a relationship and just want sex

 

[Macgyvercas]

*wraps head around shortened names*

Ugh, when people change names to protect identity, why can't they use John, Jane, or something relatively generic? Too confusing otherwise.

/rant

OT: I don't think it would be possible for me to be in a "friends with benefits" kind of situtation. Partly due to my upbringing (though I don't buy everything my religion teaches) and partly because I would feel emotionally compromised. Yes I know, FWB relationships are supposed to be emotion free, but I can't separate emotions from stuff like that.

 

[Ickorus]

It can work sometimes but it really depends on the people.

Me? I couldn't do it, I'd get involved and jealous if they were with anyone else.

 

[Shycte]

Well, why not. Depends on what "work" is.

Penis + Vagina could not possibly not work?

 

[PrimoThePro]

Ya, it can work out just fine, but a lot of the time you develop an attachment. Knowing that they are there for a booty-call pretty much any time will make you look out for them, often creating emotional attachment.

 

[Danny Ocean]

in my opinion, should be a symbol of two people's love for one another.

Me too, but I still don't see any issue with friendship with benefits. I tend to get very close to a few people, and see intimacy as a legitimate way of expressing affection. It sounds weird to a lot of people, but it seems natural to me.

 

[_Cake_]

I think that just shows that all women are different.

Personally I only did that when I was really messed up and couldn't deal with just normal dating, so be warned.

 

[daavisb]

I think its a bad idea. the concept itself cant last long, and the "benefit" isnt worth it.
rather find yourself a real women, than fck up the friendship you have.