Friends With Benefits

[CarpathianMuffin]

I think it can work, but not in the long run.

 

[BonsaiK]

I was talking to a friend of mine (and for the sake of keeping this story as easy to understand as possible, let's call her "M") and discussing over relationship views.
I think it's possible for the whole "Friends With Benefits" to work, but she said that no girl would ever accept that, and said it's stupid and that my understanding of women is completely fucked up!

I was just talking to an old friend ("L" also a girl, I happen to have a lot of female friends) from way back and she completely agreed with me, and even is friends with benefits with some guy, same thing with her best friend. ("A", female, starting to get along really well, wish me luck!)

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

Yes. It's worked for me. It doesn't work for everyone though. People who don't understand/like it are rarely accepting of people who do.

 

[superbatranger]

I have never once understood the concept of friends with benefits. I mean, how does it work? How do you know you have a friend that falls in the category of people who like having sex without any long-term emotional attachment or commitment? I never understood that. How am I supposed to tell? I know I can't ask them, because I'd probably come across as a pervert and possibly lose a friend in the process. Hell, how do two people end up being friends with benefits in the first place?

It's all the girls fault. But usually, when women aren't sure what they want but don't want to be in a relationship to find out. In college, I found alot of girls not wanting a relationship. Not as much many girls that wanted one but suprisingly more than I would have thought. College parties is where it's at, it's not exactly like going to a club. You know, partying with people you have class with, live across the dorm room, used date your roommate, etc.

Oh, well in my first year of college, I've never been to any parties, let alone invited to one. Also, I don't live on campus, so maybe that's why the concept is as foreign as an ancient Egyptian burial ceremony.

 

[superbatranger]

I was talking to a friend of mine (and for the sake of keeping this story as easy to understand as possible, let's call her "M") and discussing over relationship views.
I think it's possible for the whole "Friends With Benefits" to work, but she said that no girl would ever accept that, and said it's stupid and that my understanding of women is completely fucked up!

I was just talking to an old friend ("L" also a girl, I happen to have a lot of female friends) from way back and she completely agreed with me, and even is friends with benefits with some guy, same thing with her best friend. ("A", female, starting to get along really well, wish me luck!)

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

Yes. It's worked for me. It doesn't work for everyone though. People who don't understand/like it are rarely accepting of people who do.

OK, I can understand how someone who doesn't like the concept might not be so accepting of people who do, but how does that translate over to people who don't understand? I, for example, don't understand the concept at all. I have no idea how it works, no idea how one goes about pursuing a FWB, no idea how can you tell if a friend of yours is the kind of person willing to partake in such an activity, no idea how one would go about asking their friend about it, or even how to bring it up. Despite all that, I don't see myself becoming less accepting of those who do understand.

 

[nomadic_chad]

I think that sex always nearly changes a relationship. I'm not saying that you two will end up developing an emotional bond (though it's likely). I just think that it's an act outside a normal "friend" relationship and thus doesn't qualify as a "friendship" and really qualifies for a "f*ck buddy" title instead of "friend with benefits" title.

And yes, I'm aware of the similarities of those two titles, and the differences.

 

[TheLiham]

NO!!!! NONONONONONONO!!!!!

if you develop feelings for her it can screw you right up.

I had a friend with benefits once when I was 14 and it doesnt work.

No offense meant, but that might have had more to do with the fact that you were 14 than being in a friends with benefits situation.

I wouldn't say that, maybe I was a bit young but it still doesn't work in any case, feelings will get in the way.
Or maybe it just depends on the kind of person you are.

 

[Turbo_Destructor]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm not sold on the whole friends with benefits arrangement. emotions tend to be very strongly linked to sex - and this is especially so for women. At the risk of sounding gay, I'm not really sure if I like the idea myself - that being said if any of my hot female friends were to offer, I'd have her horizontal before she could blink.

 

[Kirch Libre]

I think the best way to do it is to be a rational as possible. The more you get "emotional" the shorter it lasts. If you really wanna be heartless about it, think of it as a business transaction.

 

[Stalk3rchief]

As long as neither people believe that sex is the same as or leads to love.
As long as that's all you both want I'm sure it would work just fine, just don't get jealous if the other person actually gets a date with someone else.

 

[Thedayrecker]

It can but it usually ends up in a relationship as feelings eventually get involved

This.

Sooner or later somebody (guy or girl) will begin to confuse love with sex.

Not saying it isn't possible, just unlikely

 

[Ekonk]

Somehow it sounds great, and somehow it doesn't.

I mean, free love and all that jazz, but eventually actual love will be there, and real love isn't free at all.

Real love is a psychopath.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I know people who have tried it and it seems to turn into a kind of half-relationship, where both people sort of like eachother more than they though or something. I don't see why it can't work, but for casual sex I would have though one night stands with attractive strangers is a better bet. You're less likely to have to live with any weird emotional mess.

 

[370999]

I'm sure it can and does work but i imagine it is very hard to do, and a certain part of me asks why? why take the risk with a friendship? Or a relationship? Is sex really that important?

Relationships and feelings are fluid and it seems to be tempting the devil.

 

[Smokescreen]

The "Friends with benefits" thing sounds simple on paper, but rarely is in real life.

Actually, this is true of any relationship. Seriously; while the best relationships are simple ones, there isn't a human relationship on the planet that has not started with the basics and gotten more complex over time. Some relationships survive that complexity, others don't but people get involved in all kinds of strange situations and some make it work, others don't.

It's just another reason why it's a good idea to treat people as decently as you know how. Even if you're just in it for the short term, the benefits to being kind always outweigh the benefits of being a dick.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Considering all my mates have had it but me, it works. just not for the people woh do want it. (oh Karma you filthy whore you...)

 

[Naheal]

It's different from person to person. As a guy, I would never consider "friends with benefits".

 

[seryoga]

damn i should tell my gir...uh friend with benefits about this poll and c what she thinks

 

[mocruz1200]

Well, it would be a very bizarre relationship in my mind. One could presume that when you actually did enjoy the "benefits" it would not be as fulfilling as it would seem.

Spoiler: Somewhat off-topic

My friends enjoy several "benefits" from me. One of these being borrowing my fucking copy of Mass Effect 2 and not giving it back for a very, very long time.

.

i feel you man. my friend has my copy of super mario RPG: legend of the seven stars. he has had it since middle school(were now in our second year of college).i always see it, but forget to grab it

 

[ElTigreSantiago]

I think that would be awesome. You get the basic human need of sex without any of the unwanted complications that may end up hurting you or the girl. It's not as good as a relationship, but if you're having trouble in the department it's a perfect (and the only) replacement.

 

[Lyri]

It can but it usually ends up in a relationship as feelings eventually get involved

This happened to me.

It does work, but we ended up going out for a while. Haven't spoken to her much since our break up but we're still friends.