Friends....with privileges.

[Micklet]

I have absolutely no idea what you're saying there

I meant that the "leading the poor girl on" made me assume he is a man, not a woman, so I didn't need the "I'm male" at the end.

Assumption is the mother of all.....ah everyones seen under siege 2, anyway, could have been a gay woman? just being thorough, gotta be pc and all in the world today. but thanks anyway dude...or dudette....although im not sure if dudette is sexist, because in relation to stage shows your not allow to refer to a female actor as an actress anymore, its sexist...so im assuming the same is true of dudettes...man the world sucks now.

 

[Micklet]

see thats what i wanted....advice on things that might go wrong, i would have never thought of that.lol

 

[Legion]

For some reason just the thought of a relationship based on sex disgusts me to no end. I guess it has to do with being exposed to a relationship based on mutual respect where sex is a rare occurrence brought on by a spur of love for one another.

I don't suggest having a relationship just for sex. It could ruin both your lives and yes, you could possibly end up with a pregnancy. In which case you're going to have to sort out what you plan on doing in such an occasion and be ready to deal with the consequences.

But then again these are just words coming from a 17 year old girl, so I won't be surprised if you choose not to listen.

I will end my last post for the night morning by saying that I think that you are taking a risk that has too many negative outcomes. What you have to decide for yourself is if "getting some on the side" is worth potentially ruining both your lives.

EDIT: 1000 posts, finally.

I agree and congrats on Going Gonzo.

I personally don't like the idea, but that's because I like to think of myself as more than just an animal dominated by lust.

 

[Micklet]

Well done on the 1000 *high five*. No i do see/read what you are saying/typing. Its valid, i was in a 4 year relationship with the love of my life, she left me last year just after my exams, then she went on a bender sleeping with half my old classmates...i never got a reason for why she dumped me other than a load of cliches "i love you, but im not in love with you". and last year was the 2nd worst year of my life, 2 of my mates commited suicide, and another 3 died from a combination of diabetes and car crashes. i really needed my ex, she was my best friend as well as my girlfriend, but she wasnt there. and its only now that im starting to get back on track with my life, finally finished my degree, going on for a masters and starting to have fun. Im not over my ex, i still love her, always will i suppose, but i do just need to let off a lot of steam and have fun. I know there are obv preg issues, but im very carful, pill and rubbers in tandem. and shes knows the score with it just being sex, shes moving to new zealand in 3 months time, so were not gona get serious, but i just wanted to know if there were any other pitfalls or just wanted informed opinions on it, coz its my first time doing this is all. but thanks for the insight, really. I appretiate it, wisdom beyond your years.x

 

[Amnestic]

For some reason just the thought of a relationship based on sex disgusts me to no end. I guess it has to do with being exposed to a relationship based on mutual respect where sex is a rare occurrence brought on by a spur of love for one another.

I don't suggest having a relationship just for sex. It could ruin both your lives and yes, you could possibly end up with a pregnancy. In which case you're going to have to sort out what you plan on doing in such an occasion and be ready to deal with the consequences.

But then again these are just words coming from a 17 year old girl, so I won't be surprised if you choose not to listen.

I will end my last post for the night morning by saying that I think that you are taking a risk that has too many negative outcomes. What you have to decide for yourself is if "getting some on the side" is worth potentially ruining both your lives.

EDIT: 1000 posts, finally.

I agree and congrats on Going Gonzo.

I personally don't like the idea, but that's because I like to think of myself as more than just an animal dominated by lust.

There's a difference between partaking in some carnal pleasure and being dominated by it.

 

[Legion]

There's a difference between partaking in some carnal pleasure and being dominated by it.

Of course there is, but there is also a difference between occasionally having sex with a friend and calling them your "fuck buddy", the fact that someone uses a term for it means that they are defining it and that shows that it's less casual than they make it out to be.

 

[Frankydee]

I don't know what to really say here. I'm your age and I really have no interest in sex let alone a "fuck buddy." This might sound strange coming from a male (and a virgin) but I've pretty much managed to suppress myself on this sort of thing. I've actually turned down a few opportunities because I just plain didn't have the desire to.

 

[RobCoxxy]

I don't know what to really say here. I'm your age and I really have no interest in sex let alone a "fuck buddy." This might sound strange coming from a male (and a virgin) but I've pretty much managed to suppress myself on this sort of thing. I've actually turned down a few opportunities because I just plain didn't have the desire to.

I know what you mean, same here. I prefer relationships.
Plus, my new girlfriend is awesome. "Why would I want some beef when I got Steak?" to quote some ugly fucker off The Jeremy Kyle Show.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

When did it become "friends with privileges?" Wasn't it always "friends with benefits" or "**** buddies?"

Being a **** buddy is fun and all, but it rarely lasts, so there's no real reason to feel ashamed too about it. Just make sure you don't do anything "stupid" and you'll be fine.

I know! Thats what I was like. I'm not even 18 and I'm still in the past with these names!

 

[ace_of_something]

Someone will eventually develop feelings and will get hurt.

Happens every time. Unless you're both mentally ill (Like say... Borderline Personality Disorder.)

 

[Amnestic]

There's a difference between partaking in some carnal pleasure and being dominated by it.

Of course there is, but there is also a difference between occasionally having sex with a friend and calling them your "fuck buddy", the fact that someone uses a term for it means that they are defining it and that shows that it's less casual than they make it out to be.

Is a less casual relationship defined only be sex dominating their life, nay, their very being? I don't think so. The term I take issue with here is "dominated." As if it's really all about sex, then I doubt he couldn't break it off whenever he wanted.

Maybe it's just me being defensive because I'm getting semi-tarred with the same brush here, but having a 'fuck buddy' (I prefer 'friend with benefits' anyway, as the lass I had the fortune of being with was - and is - a very dear friend to me.)doesn't instantly mean you're some bestial animal who can't control their urges.

It just means you want to partake in some intimacy without having to suffer through all the rigours of a relationship. And yes, even the best and most perfect relationships are rigourous. That's just part of being human. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to deal with that for a while and still be satisfied carnally when your right hand fails you.

-That's me signing off for the night, or day I suppose. Feel free to reply and I'll try to get back to this post when I wake up later on.

 

[Archemetis]

My advice? Don't even bother, in my own personal experience, it's more hassle then a genuine relationship...

And really, it shouldn't be.

So why bother?

 

[eggcarrier]

I don't think its healthy, its disrespectful to both parties in the long run, and it never ends well. What more can be said.

 

[Benj17]

i had one that i thought she thought it was just sex until one day she sees me with my mates and she goes "hi im his girlfriend" and then my quite boisterous mate goes "no your not, your his "friend with benefits".

in other words never mix your actual friends with your friend with benefits

but theyre are totally worth it, until you find an actual suitable girlfriend

 

[mooncalf]

but me being me i have to be all gay and such and wonder if im leading the poor girl on,

...Because you actually like men...?

Seriously though, so long as she's getting what she wants out of it and she isn't calling relationship what you're calling friend's with benefits. If the boundaries are defined and if you continue to share mutual respect, then all good.

Communicate with her on this subject, is the best advice.

 

[Mephisteus]

I don't think its healthy, its disrespectful to both parties in the long run, and it never ends well. What more can be said.

Yea, because their own opinions just really don't matter.

Basically if you both want it, go for it. Some people can handle it just fine, others get all angsty about it, and there is only one way to find out which you belong to. Yes, it really is that simple

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

EDIT: 1000 posts, finally.

Congrats on the Gonzo, Suiseiseki. Here's to another over 9000.

Being a virgin(gasp!), my viewpoint on sex is not as informed as your local neighborhood sex-fiend, but I see nothing wrong with having a person who is a friend whom you have sex with. There is a difference between sex and love-making, so keep that in mind.

Just be careful not to catch pregnancy.

 

[Embright]

For some reason just the thought of a relationship based on sex digusts me to no end. I guess it has to do with being exposed to a realtionship based on mutual respect where sex is a rare occurance brought on by a spur of love for one another.

I don't suggest having a relationship just for sex. It could ruin both your lives and yes, you could possibly end up with a pregnancy. In which case you're going to have to sort out what you plan on doing in such an occasion and be ready to deal with the consequences.

But then again these are just words coming from a 17 year old girl, so I won't be surprised if you choose not to listen.

I will end my last post for the night morning by saying that I think that you are taking a risk that has too many negative outcomes. What you have to decide for yourself is if "getting some on the side" is worth potentially ruining both your lives.

EDIT: 1000 posts, finally.

Quoted for the wisdom of a 17 year old girl who apparently knows more about relationships than 99% the typical poster who thinks they know anything about relationships.

Ask any professional therapist or psychologist and they will tell you of the repercussions of such a stupid decision.

Suiseiseki IRL I applaud you.

 

[similar.squirrel]

This is a..self-proclaimed nerd forum..You're putting us all to shame.
*sobs*