Frustrations with Internet Dating

[zelda2fanboy]

snip

Thanks for the tips. The cutting of it down I think is the best strategy. It gives the individual sections considerably more snap to them. I'm also working on burying the negativity in comedy as much as I can. The photos aren't as bad as I made them sound. It's more: one muscley one, one "normal/cute" one, one old "cute" one, one "zany" one with goofy face, and the sexy topless two. I didn't attract any dominatrices (so that's what the plural of that looks like), but the thought that I hooked some girls who were "blown away" by my physical appearance is a nice little pick-me-up. Thanks for that.

Yeah, it's really difficult to meet people in this town. I don't really have any friends (though I'm hoping an old acquaintance will be hanging out with me tonight after a couple of years of not seeing him - probably won't happen) and most of my coworkers are heavy drinkers and underage. I don't drink at all to begin with (I have my reasons) and drinking with underage people is dangerous because the state of Illinois fines/arrests adults who are near drunk kids. I've been out of school for 3 years, so clubs are out, Most local "activities" seem geared towards housewives and old women. Believe me, I've looked into it.

I know, I shouldn't be a Debbie Downer. I appreciate your advice.

 

[bluepilot]

Oh sweetie, you sound just adorable. If I was into online dating, I`d respond to your message. Harry Potter did wonders for skinny white guys with glasses, as did Hermione for girls with bushy hair just like mine.

My advice, get out there. Do something fun, try something new. Live a full and happy life and the girls will come to you. At the end of the day, it is not about finding a guy who has a good job and plays sports on the weekend, it is all about finding someone decent and kind and caring.

There were so many good points in your profile, pick them out and present them. You are allowed to be picky about girls too.

 

[applesandoranges]

edit

 

[Adultism]

Go into IRL and look for a girl, you will probably fail miserably the first few times. It takes practice to get good at flirting and picking up girls. You really should not rely on the internet for a relationship. Its bad luck.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Okay. I'm just going to edit this for you. You can do with it what you will. Also plutonic is not a word. Platonic is. (I'm so sorry. I just had to.)

Also, I am a girl, and I know how girls think. So this might be a little bit helpful.

This may be simplifying it, but why don't you move? If you work in retail, it's not like your job is keeping you there. And you don't seem to have an active social life to keep you there. So just move. Also, if I may say, an MBA seems like a decent option for you too. If your regular bachelors degree seems unable to get you a job, go get a masters.

Sorry if this is to much advice. It's just what I'd tell someone if I knew them in person. If fact, it is almost identical to the advice I've given to people I've known in person.

Yeah, I caught the misspelling as soon as I reposted the profile. I let out an audible "d'oh." It's been up like that for months. I did a massive overhaul on my profile with BloatedGuppy, so it doesn't really resemble the old one very much now. I did take your advice regarding being more honest about what I do with my Friday night, while also suggesting that I want to take somebody out.

Believe me, I tried to move. I met a girl online who lived about six hours away and I fell in love. I applied for jobs by the dozen because I desperately wanted to be with her. I never heard one word back from any of them. In any case, she cut off contact with me last February, so I guess it's "good" I didn't move, but that still doesn't change the fact that I need to get a real job and move out of the house.

Here's the sad truth of the matter though. I haven't been just applying for jobs around here related to my bachelors degree, but other retail jobs and manual labor. The only interview I've gotten since I've been out of school (almost three years now) was for working in a warehouse for a rope distributer (and I didn't get it). I sincerely doubt a masters degree would have helped me out in that situation. If anything, masters degrees just decrease your hire-ability, while simultaneously compounding your debt, making it more difficult to be mobile to move to jobs. So yeah, I wouldn't tell people to get masters degrees.

It might help you out if you already have a job and could increase your income or ability to be promoted. But if you don't have a job, it just prices you out of entry level in their minds. In my case, I can't get a job unloading trucks with a four year degree and four years experience unloading trucks.

 

[Batou667]

Hey again. Glad to hear that you found some of my suggestions useful and that you're starting to look on the bright side.

However, it sounds like girl problems should probably be a secondary priority after finding a decent job. What would you say is the major problem stopping you getting a job? Is it your degree subject, or do you not perform well in interviews, or what?

Also, have you considered volunteer work? Some organisations actually pay for your travel, food and temporary housing for certain projects (overseas education or humanitarian work, for example). Something like that might really stand out on your CV, and more importantly you'd see a bit more of the world and possibly find your direction in life.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Hey again. Glad to hear that you found some of my suggestions useful and that you're starting to look on the bright side.

However, it sounds like girl problems should probably be a secondary priority after finding a decent job. What would you say is the major problem stopping you getting a job? Is it your degree subject, or do you not perform well in interviews, or what?

Also, have you considered volunteer work? Some organisations actually pay for your travel, food and temporary housing for certain projects (overseas education or humanitarian work, for example). Something like that might really stand out on your CV, and more importantly you'd see a bit more of the world and possibly find your direction in life.

I have no idea what's preventing me from finding work. I apply and I hear nothing back. There's not much else to say. There are very few places one can apply in person anymore, so it's just shooting my personal information into oblivion. I shouldn't say I hear "nothing" back. I often get the boilerplate rejection e-mails with a good amount of regularity. The most recent insult is that I've started applying at my old schools to do stuff like secretary work, IT, or the mailroom and being told that they go for "more qualified candidates" in their rejection e-mails. The requirement for these jobs is nothing more than a high school education, according to the postings.

I do have a job, but it's dangerous, frustrating, demeaning, and it pays minimum wage after doing it for four years with no chance for a raise. It pays enough to work on my loan and keep me from being delinquent and destroying my credit, and it also gives me some spending money and savings (I live with my parents and I'm frugal.) I only work 20 hours a week, but I can't abscond off to a volunteer mission any time soon.

After so many years of never trying to find someone at all and feeling like I "wasn't good enough" for a girlfriend, I figured since I did have a little bit of money I could find someone who wanted to hang out and do stuff locally to pass the time and make new friends. Believe me, there are actually people my age around here in much worse financial shape than me. (Did you hear about the economy?) By the way, my degree is a bachelors of science in Business Administration. I'm not going back to school. If I can't get anything with that, why should I assume additional higher education would help me at all?