Generally the aim of controlling people is not for the sake of controlling them, it is to achieve an external objective. If the state will accomplish that objective, that's fine.Why? Those are not as related as you think they are. Not allowing abortions would be far less controlling than forcing abortions, if the goal was control over your wife, why would you advocate for the state to make the decision to take that control away from you?
There certainly are people who control others purely for their own (generally malicious) amusement, although that's usually the territory of people with extreme psychologies.