Funny things you've learned from games

[fluffylandmine]

Pretty obvious, But It can be set up like this and I'll use examples

Starcraft- There is no playing against Koreans, only losing...(useful in real life(if you want to play SC on battle net))

Far Cry 2- Africans are made of kevlar (Only important in the context of the game)

 

[Jharry5]

Timesplitters - monkeys and machine guns are a deadly and nightmarish mix.
GTA San Andreas - its possible to evade the cops by going to sleep.
Lost Planet - never snipe an American (in an online game, I killed him once and he only went for me...)

Can't think of anything else...

 

[Spacelord]

The Sonic series: just gain enough momentum and curl up into a fetal position and you can breach the sound barrier.

 

[Mean Mother Rucker]

Mortal Kombat- Even a slap can result in a spray of blood
Pokemon- Pokemon can be sealed in an airtight ball and still be ready for battle once released, so Pokemon don't need air, or food for that matter.
The Darkness- A headshot to anyone but the protagonist=instaneous death
Oblivion- Falling straight down to the bottom of a building makes you want to get up and run right back up to the guy who threw you off
Crash Bandicoot- Jumping on a baby polar bear does not break it's fragile spine

 

[z121231211]

Halo-Not even a force field+helmet that covers your face can stop you from dieing from headshots.

 

[Tattaglia]

Burnout Paradise: There are no humans in Paradise City, just two voices.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune: THEY NEVER LEFT!

 

[Splitter]

Ocarina of Time: Just so long as you stay out of the field time never passes.

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Harvest Moon: Give people enough things and you can get them to do whatever you want.
Fable 2: Condoms dug up from the ground are still usable. As are hats and bottles of dye.
Fable 2: The world is full of gay men, transvestites, and grown-ups still in the care of their mums. And girls that want to sleep with you so long as you're wearing the right coat.
Fable 2: Dogs do not die. Ever.
Fable 2: See Harvest Moon.
Portal: Sweet and fluffy baked desserts topped with icing are illusionary.
Half-Life: Do not, under any circumstances, piss off the G-man.
Half-Life 2: You don't go to Ravenholm anymore.
Team Fortress 2: If you want to be noticed, call for a medic repeatedly.
LoZ TP: Chicken-people do in fact exist. They live in a city in the sky and occasionally dwell in assorted pots.
LoZ MM: The world is going to end in three days unless you play a flute song repeatedly. Also, stay away from mask vendors.
LoZ OoT: Do not, under any circumstances, piss off a chicken.
Pokemon: Forcing small animals into airtight balls in between fights for their life is completely humane and acceptable. In fact, it's encouraged.
Kirby: Eat the flesh of your foes to gain their strength.
Mario: Jump on turtles and consume mushrooms for maximum awesomeness. Also, stay away from walking bombs.
GTA IV: Never give your cousin your phone number.
God of War: Kill. KILL!!!
Oblivion: Beggars are actually posh englishmen in disguise.
Oblivion: Avoid twitchy wood elves.
Obivion: The night sky is apparently red.
LittleBigPlanet: Making mazes out of glass is extremely difficult.
World of Warcraft: You must be a master of your skill and a battleworn veteran before you are worthy enough to wear a farmer's hat.
World of Warcraft: Tauren rogues exist. They are always there, and they are always watching.
Armored Core: In the distant future, mech combat is both a military engagement and a sport.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

Psychonauts-

• 1)Everyone is a spy out looking for the milkman
  2)The milkman is deadly and fortified milk is seriously bad for your health
  3)Squirrels are all liers
  edit->4)http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgp1e0JQyGI check that for 10 minutes of madness but then you'd know that already right? because your australian

Enchanted Arms- Everything is easily done just by pressing the magical A button
Call of Duty 4- Arabs are consorting with ultranationalist russians to kill all the good friendly people of america
Mass effect- If you shoot someone with radioactive stuff they turn into a green gooey puddle
Any RPG-

• 1)Genocide is encouraged and makes people love you
  2)Killing people makes you stronger

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

the milkman

STOP.

Who are you? Where is the milkman? What is the purpose of the goggles? What happened inside that house?

...

Elevators go up and down.

Look at that woman. Her breasts are very large.

Excrement.

 

[Splitter]

Many games: Sitting down for a minute will stop you bleeding and make you good and strong.
Mario Kart: Turtles are all evil. Green ones are pretty dumb, don't go near the red ones, and if a blue one is after you, you're fucked.
AoE/M: Soldiers are made of food and gold, or occasionally wood.

 

[slayermaster]

THE CAKE IS A LIE LOOOL ROLF LOOOL. But seriously I learned from Dead Space that infecting babies with an alien spore is not a good idea, I also learned from Fable that if you're mean enough you get horns, I can feel the bumps

i think thats a skin problem, has to do with scratching your head

 

[rottenbutter]

Assassins Creed- After stabbing the assassination target in the throat, none of the guards will attack you, until the target has finished his long speech and died.

No More Heroes- You really can get absolutely ANYTHING off of EBay.

 

[PureChaos]

if you kill something, it may drop money, items or a weapon

 

[Crudler]

Ah age of empires, the first two mind. You have inspired me to learn historical facts, but why could I never find a sea wall in the map editor, why?

Most fps games: When walking into a seeming empty room, watch out for the large windows or if there is a lack of the aforementioned then the door on the other side of the room. People will intrude, then hurt you.

I've also learnt that after being shot many times if I hide and wait for ten seconds everything will be jolly again.
In strategy games, good defenses and a few crack units interspersed throughout the base will win the day.

 

[slayermaster]

cod4:halo3 and cod4, if you piss someone off YOU GET TEAMKILLED
world of warcraft:friends can be found anywhere
dead rising:i learned how to run ontop of zombies heads!
saints row 2:i learned how to basejump!
fable2:i learned that if i wear a large red coat women will hop on my dick
assassins creed:never have a neon sign that says im an assassin (ssshhhhhhh....)

 

[AuntyEthel]

Tetris: Sometimes you can watch blocks fall down and down until 6am.

 

[rottenbutter]

Serious Sam series- Ancient civilizations and far off planets all have plenty of the exact same guns and ammunition lying around.

 

[Drakstern]

Touhou series: Getting shot by bullets only counts if it hits your hitbox.

 

[gantzsurvivor1]

Any new shooters: Hide behind a wall or rock and you will heal.
Assassins Creed: Walk slow or be chased.
Mario games: Their will always be a "lives" system.
No More Heroes: If yo yell out different types of food you can cut peoples heads off with ease.
Any new RPGs: They will bore you