Gain a random superpower

Drathnoxis

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These threads are usually fun so let's do it again.

Link to a random page on the 'superpower' wiki

Tell us what you got and what you are going to do with the power.


I got:

Ummm, hmmm... I've never ever seen any quicksand... Well if it lets me swim through regular sand too I'd use it to collect loose change and jewelry that people drop on the beach, I guess.
 

Bedinsis

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I got:


"The user can travel to another part of the planet, star or moon they are on by burrowing and (maybe) lava swimming through the core of the planet."

What I'd do? I dunno, go to some exotic locale without having to pay for an airline ticket. It really comes down to how exhausting it is to use the power, how quick it is to use it and whether using the power can cause spontaneous volcanic eruption or any other hazards.
 
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Chimpzy

Professor of Monkey Business
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... I can't stand being around kids for longer than 5 minutes, but ok, sure, this fits me like a glove
 

JoJo

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Seems a little niche but at least I never have to worry about buying matches again.
 

XsjadoBlayde

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Hmm. This is either going to really help with anxiety, or make it unimaginably worse. Hard to guess which way it will swing.

At least I haven't got that PS4 Spiderman's Catwoman power which appears to be just compulsive sexual harassment with a grappling hook.
 
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laggyteabag

Scrolling through forums, instead of playing games
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Accelerated Tasking
User can do tasks (such as filing, sorting, fixing, building and assembling, cleaning, doing chores, etc.) much faster than what others are capable of doing.
Oh great. Chores. Well, super chores. Woo.

I wonder if that means I start procrastinating even faster, too.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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The Rogue Wolf

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I mean, I grew up in New Jersey, and understanding how the average moronic New Jersey driver is going to handle traffic patterns kinda counts as eldritch intuition....
 

Asita

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Well, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart, so it's a no-brainer that I'll try to use my powers for good, and I'm a fair hand at imagining good uses for bad powers. So let's see what lies in the cards...


...I'm sorry, what? ...Fuck.

...Guess I'm working on my negotiation and acting abilities. Should be able to find work as a closer or Hollywood Heartthrob. Because at least then I have some useful application of the power instead of just the old song and dance of


"I'm a monster, baby. There's no saving me. You should just...stay away, for your own good!"

Which feels like it would get old really fast.
 

happyninja42

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That's pretty nice. I could do a lot with that.
 

Gordon_4

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Okay this power is deeply contextual and as much as I'd love to sacrifice some of my idiot colleagues to a dark god for power and influence I think that's going against the grain of the idea. Short answer, useless outside of some VERY, VERY specific circumstances.
 

Specter Von Baren

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I got...


Woooo! If I get good at it then I can fix my own eyes. I guess I got one of the most stereotypical special powers, cool. Maybe I could also write, "Eat at Joe's" on the moon.
 

Wintermute

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" Jigsaw Manipulation "

User can create, shape and manipulate any sort of jigsaw puzzle pieces, and can do things such as putting them together or reshaping each piece or moving pieces with telekinesis or even using them as weapons.

Sounds like the shittiest superpower ever.
 

Drathnoxis

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" Jigsaw Manipulation "

User can create, shape and manipulate any sort of jigsaw puzzle pieces, and can do things such as putting them together or reshaping each piece or moving pieces with telekinesis or even using them as weapons.

Sounds like the shittiest superpower ever.
We're gonna make the worst Justice League ever.
 

Specter Von Baren

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" Jigsaw Manipulation "

User can create, shape and manipulate any sort of jigsaw puzzle pieces, and can do things such as putting them together or reshaping each piece or moving pieces with telekinesis or even using them as weapons.

Sounds like the shittiest superpower ever.
Depends on what can be defined as a jigsaw. If you make a giant steel jigsaw puzzle then you could just hurl them at people or if you made them super sharp then you could be a lumber jack. Trust me, it's not the worst, I looked through some of the powers on that site and one of them was "Ability to survive a creation event (Like the big bang)" which might as well be no super power at all.
 

Bedinsis

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" Jigsaw Manipulation "

User can create, shape and manipulate any sort of jigsaw puzzle pieces, and can do things such as putting them together or reshaping each piece or moving pieces with telekinesis or even using them as weapons.

Sounds like the shittiest superpower ever.
If you lived in the world of The Lego Movie that would in essence make you the superior master builder.