Games that devolved into absurdity.

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Puzzlenaut

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Octorok said:
I still haven't forgotten Assassin's Creed 2. I can only picture this meeting taking place in the Ubisoft Doom Fortress of Death[sup]TM[/sup].

"Well, it's time to write the plot of the next AssCreed game. We've decided to utterly destroy the interesting (if imperfectly implemented) ideas of the first one, such as actually utilising our rich historical setting, those neat philosophical principles, and the pleasing parkour-and-murder-simulator gameplay. Instead, we've decided to focus on awful "minigames" (DON'T TELL ME CARNEVAL WASN'T MINIGAMES, BECAUSE IT DEFINITELY WAS), nonsensical plot (*just the sound of my brain crying and swigging from the whiskey bottle*), dreadful, hack writing ("Ezio, you need the Golden Mask because the other masks are numbered and cannot be stolen!" Nobody checks your mask, you're the only one IN a Golden Mask, you STOLE the Mask they said couldn't be stolen, etc. That section was just pure, distilled stupidity.) and terrible tone and pacing ("It's-a-me, Mario!", fist fight with the Pope vs. "I am dark and broody and want vengeance for my murdered family", and on pacing; the "plot" happily grinds to a halt so that you can waste HOURS fixing the awful Thieves' Guild and doing goddamn Carneval.)"

And yet, all my friends preferred AC2 to AC. What an absolute fucking waste of a series.

Incidentally, I never played the later AssCreeds. I hear they did not restore the series to quality.

EDIT: I should point out, it starts OK. Not amazing, but it sets up the initially cool setting and structure pretty well, and the plot is alright for the five minutes it takes before tripping over and tangling itself up in its own nonsense.
I totally agree. Almost everyone seems to prefer AC2 to the first when the first was clearly superior; here on the Escapist I recall an article which (paraphrasing here) said "rarely is a sequel so utterly superior in every way than AC2 is to AC".

The first one was repetitive as hell, with clunky dialogue and a ridiculous-bullshit ending, but the plot itself -- both in and out the animus -- was a lot more interesting, as was the world in which it was set: outside of the animus, Abstergo were faceless and threatening, and inside of it the world of the crusade and assassins was very well realised; in the second Ubi replaced world building with awkward, forced cameos from historical figures "just because" (seriously, Leonardo Da Vinci is a fucking terrible character). Oh, and AC1 actually had a focus on, you know, ASSASSINATING PEOPLE which is something successive games lacked more and more with each installment.

One of my least favourite things in AC2 was Lucy, who I quite liked before she became Action-Barbie in the second one, mainly because to start with she was really rather unsexualised, which is rare in a medium so juvenile as the videogame, and wore genuine office clothes that didn't flatter her; she acted like a real person, with doubts and kindness and her own problems. When she came back in the second game, however, they dressed her in tight clothing and gave her scarlet lipstick and changed the shape of her character model to make her sexy and a badass, and it just absolutely ruined her.

Also, I'll never forgive Ubisoft for replacing AC1's morally quandaries with mother-fucking city renovation minigames. GAAAAAH.
 

Shoggoth2588

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I just started a new game of Final Fantasy VIII and as I've been grinding the plot has been coming back to me piece by piece and I think this is one game that goes from straight forward to 'what the Fuck?!' somewhat gradually but the ante does get upped one time too many (in some opinions but I still love it).

Anyway, for those who don't know, you start out as a student in Balamb Garden which is like Hogwarts only instead of magic, you're taught how to murder people (as a mercenary...and I guess they do teach you how to use magic and summon things sooo...) Anyway, after you take your final exam and become a Seed, you're sent on a mission to kidnap somebody. This turns into a mission to assassinate somebody different. This turns into an 'escape the prison' mission. This turns into a 'save the school!' mission which in turn becomes a school-vs-school civil war type of thing because (spoilers) the leaders of the Gardens are apparently Evil (or controlled by an evil overmind). This becomes a quest to kill the Sorceress whom you failed to kill several sentences ago. Then when you finally get the chance that mission gets scrapped as it's revealed that your true target is a God-like Sorceress who can quantum leap from potential Sorceress to potential Sorceress from beyond time and space. I think you finally fight Ultimecia in her Castle on The Moon...or the apocalyptic future...one or the other or both, I don't remember...In between all of this, your consciousness keeps transitioning into some guy named Laguna and his two friends who seemed to have lived roughly 20 years in the past for some reason that probably isn't important at all.

Pretty mad when compared to...Dragon Warrior which was pretty mundane compared to most other Final Fantasy titles I can recall...Oh, FF9 was also pretty much grounded compared to other FF titles from what I remember.
 

Fidelias

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I'm going to go with Assassins Creed, in terms of story.

With the first and most of the second, it seemed like they could pull of a sort of cool conspiracy theory plot. But then they had to add in those God-alien-all-powerful- being things and make the final quest to save the world from a freaking solar flare!

Everything about Minerva and the other "gods" just destroys any logic to the plot.

The nice thing though, is that I can just play the games and pay attention to the In-Animus plots. Altair's and Ezio's plots for the most part make sense.
 

DustyDrB

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Jan 19, 2010
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Indigo Prophecy is the right answer to this. All others are wrong. Wrong-wrong-wrong-wrong, wrong-wrong-wrong-wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrooong.

...Anyway, yeah. That game is the final word on lunacy, and I don't mean it in the fun, "You so crazy" way. You spend the last half of the game just crinkling your forehead and saying, "What?"
It's observing a train wreck while on acid. And the train has superpowers, because why not?
 

Octorok

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Puzzlenaut said:
I totally agree. Almost everyone seems to prefer AC2 to the first when the first was clearly superior; here on the Escapist I recall an article which (paraphrasing here) said "rarely is a sequel so utterly superior in every way than AC2 is to AC".

The first one was repetitive as hell, with clunky dialogue and a ridiculous-bullshit ending, but the plot itself -- both in and out the animus -- was a lot more interesting, as was the world in which it was set: outside of the animus, Abstergo were faceless and threatening, and inside of it the world of the crusade and assassins was very well realised; in the second Ubi replaced world building with awkward, forced cameos from historical figures "just because" (seriously, Leonardo Da Vinci is a fucking terrible character). Oh, and AC1 actually had a focus on, you know, ASSASSINATING PEOPLE which is something successive games lacked more and more with each installment.

One of my least favourite things in AC2 was Lucy, who I quite liked before she became Action-Barbie in the second one, mainly because to start with she was really rather unsexualised, which is rare in a medium so juvenile as the videogame, and wore genuine office clothes that didn't flatter her; she acted like a real person, with doubts and kindness and her own problems. When she came back in the second game, however, they dressed her in tight clothing and gave her scarlet lipstick and changed the shape of her character model to make her sexy and a badass, and it just absolutely ruined her.

Also, I'll never forgive Ubisoft for replacing AC1's morally quandaries with mother-fucking city renovation minigames. GAAAAAH.
The character points on Leonardo and Lucy aside (I agree with those by the way. Leonardo was portrayed as a goddamn idiot half the time, when he wasn't inventing flying machines so Ezio could scale a SIX FOOT GODDAMN FENCE.), I think the real focus here is padding.

AC2 is longer than AC1, but the actual core of the plot is a similar length. They padded AC1 with those repetitious, dull tasks that were certainly bad, but they just replaced those with what can only be described as "stupid in a bottle."

Hours-long sections of the game are pointless, moronic plot-filler. Even when you stopped doing random crap (I learned to loathe the Thieves' Guild), the missions you were doing made no sense.

Example: you're stealing guard uniforms to sneak Thieves Guild guys into a big ole place. Of course, Ezio doesn't do anything as clever as don a disguise himself, but whatever, this should be fun! Back to plot-driven crime! Maybe you're going to be a part of some slick, complex heist that-woops the uniforms are kept in chests spread around the city and individually guarded by packs of guards.



The plot simply cannot move forwards (or, more accurately, sideways) without immediately collapsing in on itself.

The point of all this is; for all its faults, Assassin's Creed 1 was an interesting, atmospheric game. The cities and missions were tight and pretty well realised, and if you let yourself get into it, it was really fun playing the part of Altair, stalking your prey, planning a nice, clean hit and escape over the rooftops etc.

Ezio just isn't *that* character. He's a moron who wastes your time, with his actual assassinations being either nonsensical and railroad-y, or fairly bland and uninteresting (or, for bonus points, both!). Which is a shame because gameplay really is the one area where AC2 does outshine the original. Playing as a free-roaming parkourmurder Assassin was possible within the confines of the game, but the writers didn't want you to do that.

"Ezio! drive this wagon, it's time for a vehicle section!"

"Ezio! play Capture-the-Flag, even though it's a complete waste of time!"

"Ezio!etc etc"
 

Blitsie

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DustyDrB said:
Indigo Prophecy is the right answer to this. All others are wrong. Wrong-wrong-wrong-wrong, wrong-wrong-wrong-wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrooong.

...Anyway, yeah. That game is the final word on lunacy, and I don't mean it in the fun, "You so crazy" way. You spend the last half of the game just crinkling your forehead and saying, "What?"
It's observing a train wreck while on acid. And the train has superpowers, because why not?
I must admit I enjoyed the trainwreck that ensues after certain segment halfway through, its just one absurd moment after the other. (Spoilers for those who still want to experience this insane game first hand)
He returns as a super-zombie, meets up with a woman that previously antagonized him until a few moments ago and they make hot, steamy love a day later. A matrix worthy fight ensues, a whole clan of machines reveal themselves and it all ends with the protagonist's lover revealing that she's pregnant after he saved the world by having a little girl whisper something in his ear. Yes, whispering something in someone's ear somehow stopped the whole world from freezing over.

How I didn't end up gouging my eyes out from the utter lunacy of the whole thing is beyond me.

I seriously wonder what made them change things from creepy crime drama to super hero action movie. Hell I'm still surprised that Heavy Rain didn't end with a fight on the moon or something.
 

EmperorSubcutaneous

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Looking at all the games I've played...

Looking at all the games I've actually finished...

Honestly, the only one I can add that wasn't already on this list is The Whispered World, even though it's not as bad as some of the games mentioned here. Mostly it's that the ending was a twist on "it was all a dream" that just tried so hard to tug at your heartstrings (and failed spectacularly in my case, mostly because I already hated 80% of everything about that game up until that point anyway).

The whole time I was playing the game I was thinking "this is terrible" and "this is stupid," and then when it came to the end I was thinking "this is fucking ridiculous." So that's how it devolved into absurdity in my mind.

I could also say Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, but the whole thing was an absurd mess to begin with and the ending (while still absurd) was the only remotely interesting idea.
 

Valis7

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Oct 17, 2012
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Metal Gear Solid 2. And I loved every second of it....well, besides Raiden running around naked doing kart-wheels. The last few hours were very surreal.
 

FalloutJack

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Shoggoth2588 said:
Welcome, brother. We've been expecting you.
I have a clearer image of what all happened in the game and why and it's STILL bullshit. Go ahead and burn that one from memory, because it is - on top of everything else - a timey-wimey BS plot in which the villainess has caused her own death and the plot that led up to it herself...because she was warned that people who don't even exist in her timeline would kill her.

This is not only dumb, but it's bullshit. And it's even MORE bullshit because the game, the system, the characrers, and everything else is just...well...shit. It really have no value at all.
 

Fractral

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Feb 28, 2012
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DustyDrB said:
Indigo Prophecy is the right answer to this. All others are wrong. Wrong-wrong-wrong-wrong, wrong-wrong-wrong-wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrooong.

...Anyway, yeah. That game is the final word on lunacy, and I don't mean it in the fun, "You so crazy" way. You spend the last half of the game just crinkling your forehead and saying, "What?"
It's observing a train wreck while on acid. And the train has superpowers, because why not?
My sister bought that game a few months ago. Maybe I should play it. I watched her play a section where she had to control some guy in a toilet, then a police officer interrogating people. A few hours later she was playing a little boy sneaking into an air base because he could predict where a bomb was going to go off.
The next time I walk in some guy is doing mirrors edge style parkour round an office while these massive blue floaty dust mites appear out of nowhere and kill all the other people in the office.
And then he appears back at his desk, working on his computer.
I would have played the game myself too, but the gameplay consisiting entirely of QTE's put me off.
 

Shoggoth2588

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FalloutJack said:
Shoggoth2588 said:
Welcome, brother. We've been expecting you.
-snip-
And yet for all that shit I still enjoy it! Imagine what the fuck kind of blunt-force trauma every had to go through to have forgotten that they were all orphanage buddies little-over a decade before...or rather, about a decade...little under...anyway. Also I liked the Junction system; it's true that in most every JRPG it's possible to grind your way to level 100 if you're just that damned sad but in FF8 they've made it so that you can grind your way to Godhood on the very first beach by the starting point before finishing all of the tutorials.

I'm not saying it isn't stupid I'm just saying I liked it.
 

Tyler Trahan

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Shoggoth2588 said:
I just started a new game of Final Fantasy VIII and as I've been grinding the plot has been coming back to me piece by piece and I think this is one game that goes from straight forward to 'what the Fuck?!' somewhat gradually but the ante does get upped one time too many (in some opinions but I still love it).

Anyway, for those who don't know, you start out as a student in Balamb Garden which is like Hogwarts only instead of magic, you're taught how to murder people (as a mercenary...and I guess they do teach you how to use magic and summon things sooo...) Anyway, after you take your final exam and become a Seed, you're sent on a mission to kidnap somebody. This turns into a mission to assassinate somebody different. This turns into an 'escape the prison' mission. This turns into a 'save the school!' mission which in turn becomes a school-vs-school civil war type of thing because (spoilers) the leaders of the Gardens are apparently Evil (or controlled by an evil overmind). This becomes a quest to kill the Sorceress whom you failed to kill several sentences ago. Then when you finally get the chance that mission gets scrapped as it's revealed that your true target is a God-like Sorceress who can quantum leap from potential Sorceress to potential Sorceress from beyond time and space. I think you finally fight Ultimecia in her Castle on The Moon...or the apocalyptic future...one or the other or both, I don't remember...In between all of this, your consciousness keeps transitioning into some guy named Laguna and his two friends who seemed to have lived roughly 20 years in the past for some reason that probably isn't important at all.

Pretty mad when compared to...Dragon Warrior which was pretty mundane compared to most other Final Fantasy titles I can recall...Oh, FF9 was also pretty much grounded compared to other FF titles from what I remember.
You just said everything I hinted at a page ago, except you went far more in depth into my thoughts. I... I think I love you now. I love FF9, but 7,8, and 10 totally jump the shark half way through their stories
 

Shoggoth2588

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Tyler Trahan said:
Shoggoth2588 said:
You just said everything I hinted at a page ago, except you went far more in depth into my thoughts. I... I think I love you now. I love FF9, but 7,8, and 10 totally jump the shark half way through their stories
Especially Final Fantasy X...

...oh by the way, the main character and most awesome male character aren't actually, technically people: One is an Eidelon and the other was dead the whole, entire time. Also the main antagonist is also dead.

Those 4 Final Fantasy titles are games that I also really love even though they do turn into craziness...Hell, I think the entire FF series is insane in a way. FF4 starts out grounded enough but then you fight God on the Moon and, FF6 starts out as a civil war until an insane clown destroys the planet and becomes an insane God himself. I think Final Fantasy 2 ends on the moon too...or Hell...or Lunar Hell...
 

SlaveNumber23

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Aug 9, 2011
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hazabaza1 said:
Last time I checked, Machetes don't have a giant serrated edge on it :p
You might want to google 'serrated machete' :p

I'd say the Saints Row series, I never played the first one but while the second had plenty of silliness it was still a fantastic game, whereas the third took it too far and lost something that made the second such a great game.
 

Coffeejack

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Calvinball.

Every. Single. Time.

Also, Anno 2070's campaign went a bit mad after you met the Artificial Intelligence that ran the city of CORE. He in infected with an ancient virus, gains legs, waddles away and swears to destroy you. Hold on, can we go back to resource management? I understood that.
 

Mr.Squishy

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I'll second/third/whatevs FF X.
Why?
Because
A magical dream-man who plays underwater soccer wakes up in the world he was created by the collective unconscious or something and has to slay his father who has become a satanic space whale.
 

momijirabbit

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Fallout 3

WTF HAPPENED!?

Starts out simple, You grow up in a vault and your dad leaves, you go after him.

How in the magical world of flying chocolate covered bircks did it turn into something with enclave, a giant robot and the most pathetic attempt at a final boss EVER.

Oh, and the fact that Mothership Zeta exists.
 

Zanderinfal

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Well, one of them was Fallout 3. The ending was kind of "...Wait hold on? Why me? Why did I have to do that? Even further, why does the game say I am arbitrarily say I am evil if I send someone who is completely immune to radiation in, then if I go in myself and potentially die? Wat."
Other then that, I can't really think of one except the bullshit ending to Borderlands 1.
 

Chairman Miaow

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Octorok said:
I still haven't forgotten Assassin's Creed 2. I can only picture this meeting taking place in the Ubisoft Doom Fortress of Death[sup]TM[/sup].

"Well, it's time to write the plot of the next AssCreed game. We've decided to utterly destroy the interesting (if imperfectly implemented) ideas of the first one, such as actually utilising our rich historical setting, those neat philosophical principles, and the pleasing parkour-and-murder-simulator gameplay. Instead, we've decided to focus on awful "minigames" (DON'T TELL ME CARNEVAL WASN'T MINIGAMES, BECAUSE IT DEFINITELY WAS), nonsensical plot (*just the sound of my brain crying and swigging from the whiskey bottle*), dreadful, hack writing ("Ezio, you need the Golden Mask because the other masks are numbered and cannot be stolen!" Nobody checks your mask, you're the only one IN a Golden Mask, you STOLE the Mask they said couldn't be stolen, etc. That section was just pure, distilled stupidity.) and terrible tone and pacing ("It's-a-me, Mario!", fist fight with the Pope vs. "I am dark and broody and want vengeance for my murdered family", and on pacing; the "plot" happily grinds to a halt so that you can waste HOURS fixing the awful Thieves' Guild and doing goddamn Carneval.)"

And yet, all my friends preferred AC2 to AC. What an absolute fucking waste of a series.

Incidentally, I never played the later AssCreeds. I hear they did not restore the series to quality.

EDIT: I should point out, it starts OK. Not amazing, but it sets up the initially cool setting and structure pretty well, and the plot is alright for the five minutes it takes before tripping over and tangling itself up in its own nonsense.
was the point at which the series completely died for me.