Games that doesn´t make any sense.

[CrawlingPastaHellion]

"Assassin's Creed Brotherhood" puts "Assassin's Creed 2" ending to shame in the bullshit department. Every Creed's ending before that was a gigantic WTF, but Brotherhood takes the crown by a large margin.

Also: "Metal Gear Solid 2" was retarded in every way in terms of story. Yahtzee said it best when he said that the series overall was very badly written. Its second installment is the quintessence of that. MGS3 might have been fine though, but I don't really remember much of its story to be honest.

Another one is "Killer7", but not entirely. It's still more subtlety than obscurentism for the most part. As it has so many layers of narration it has everything for everyone: Garcian's story on the surface is actually very simple and not dubious at all. All the political intrigue is culturally contextual to a very large degree, as you have to be familiar with both the western and japanese state of affairs and history to get most out of it. Where the obscurentism lies the most is on the metaphysical plane, such as the ghost realm, the origin of the heaven smiles, the mentally insane transitions between the real world, dream and fiction and so on. A lot of dope went up in smoke whilst designing this one, most definitely so. The same can be said about "Braid", even though it's a lot less obscure than "Killer7" is, it is less subtle as well.

Mostly though, the games suffer from the same symptoms as Hollywood movies do: bad writing. That implies lots of plot holes, crappy endings, terrible dialogues and so on and so forth.

 

[Felstaff]

Fallout 3 was like that.

Why?

-Little Mother Fucking Lamplight

You've never seen Logan's Run? Children of the Corn? Lord of the Flies?

Makes perfect sense to me.

Games that (have elements that) make no sense to me:

The Getaway
Been shot? Beaten with a bat? Crashed your car? Ruptured spleen, perchance? Here; rest against a wall. Not only will all your injuries be cured, the effect of leaning slightly off-centre also removes all bloodstains from your pristine white shirt!

Space Giraffe
I have played this game for jexactly 45 minutes, and I'm still not sure what the hell just happened?

Pushover!
Why do we need an ant to topple the first domino? Won't a finger do?

Grand Theft Auto
Jimmy wants you to give the guy the suitcase of money, but you get extra points for killing him within ten seconds and taking the money back? Why not just kill him first, and save yourself several minutes of driving round town robbing banks

Halo: Combat Evolved
"Okay, guys; I have a great idea! I'mma just say three words to you, and I wanna know what you think, k? MASSIVE. SPACE. RING."

Anyway, the chums who designed the Pillar of Autumn must have had a field day when designing the reactors. "Basically, we need the only exit to the reactor core to be like a giant rollercoaster."
"Sir?"
"That way, if they ever get blown Death-Star style, then whoever does it can make a dramatic escape on a 4x4 vehicle!"
"Genius."

Infinity Blade
So, basically, they... what? Genetically engineer warriors to attempt to kill the god dude every nineteen years? It must be awful hard recruiting eleven henchmen every coupla decades knowing that they'll just be slaughtered by a vengeance-seeking, artificially-created armour-clad super-being. Also, do they never decorate this crumbling castle? One-hundred-and-forty years later, and they *still* have the same awful floor tiles.

 

[targren]

Final Fantasy VII. You could drive that stupid 3-wheeled truck through some of those plot holes.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

FF8. There is actually no official canonical ending. Not to mention the coincidence of all coincidences (If you've played it you will know. You will know...). Doesn't mean I don't love it though.

True, but what about the theory of

Spoiler

Squall's death? Perhaps the end was supposed to be him passing on into heaven while his friends rejoiced that they had defeated Edea, and the game from that battle onwards was just a fantasy that he imagined before he passed on.

Just a thought. I know it's not canonical, but it DOES make sense if you analyze the story a bit.

 

[Wayne Insane]

Ninja Gaiden 2 was really fuckin stupid

 

[Mr Companion]

Fallout 3 was like that.

Ha yeah Little Lamplight was the most incoherent part of all in my opinion.

So there is a tribe that throws out anybody who grows old enough to reproduce and whoum all subsist on cave slime and live right next to a massive super mutant lair and a slaver camp but despite all this they somehow survive because children are invincible and they make impenetrable rusty corrugated iron walls that can survive small nuclear explosions.

They call you a dickhead and then ask you to rescue their friends from slavers. After they let you in (as mentioned you cant break in and kill them even though that is the logical course of action) you find what you are looking for very deep into the caves and are then ambushed by the Enclave, who either broke through the impenetrable wall and evaded the group of invincible children without them even seeing considering that if you talk to the little shits later they never bring it up, or they dug through the entire hillside covered in enough radiation to kill a man instantly without any tool to do such a thing in the first place.

And this is only one sequence, some might say it isn't even the most plot holey. I would still say Fallout 3 is better than New Vegas, but not for the story thats for sure.

 

[genericusername64]

Fallout 3 was like that.

Why?

-Little Mother Fucking Lamplight

You've never seen Logan's Run? Children of the Corn? Lord of the Flies?

A bunch of kids with Ak 47's have held off 30-40 super mutants, live off of irradiated water and fugus, and force anyone over 16 to leave, also they never mention how they get new kids, if they've been inbreeding for 200 years they would've gotten a dozen birth defects.

 

[Felstaff]

'Hwellsir,

• First of all, this is a dystopian future, so the idea of giving birth under the age of 16 would be quite common.
  > Secondly, the caves would have provided a similar level of protection as, say, a vault.
  > Thirdly, people in uncovered towns such as Megaton seem to have been able to survive, and they are exposed to outside radiation and live on the same foodstuffs.
  > Fourthly, weapons, as we all know, are rather easily scavenged (just look in any office filing cabinet, and all travelling salesman sell weapons).
  > Fifthly, seeing as several outsiders know of Little Lamplight and the community they have there, the notion that it's not a secret place and anyone under the age of 16 can go there and live would have been common knowledge. In fact, it would have been a desirable place to live for any child, born outside of Little Lamplight.
  > Sixthly, Super Mutants are big dumb brutes only effective in groups, and don't really attack Little Lamplight (they go for Big Town, which is less fortified and exposed).
  > Seventhly, Super Mutants don't tend to attack heavily fortified places outside of the DC ruins.
  > Eighthly, as it's such a harsh wilderness, trust would have been at an all-time low, and a child would naturally find more trust in other children than adults.
  > Ninthly, the idea of children banding together, borne out of mistrust for adults, and perpetuating a myth that 'a better place awaits when you're 16' (Big Town) is not so unbelievable, given the context of the game (radiation really makes cockroaches 12000% larger? For instance...)

Essentially, it's unlikely that the residents of Little Lamplight were *all* born there, as knowledge of its existence would be known to outsiders, so many children (say, orphans or those with abusive parentage) would have gravitated towards there. The law of 'out when you're sixteen' is easy to perpetuate when you have a Lord of the Flies-esque established hierarchy (and has been established for, what, 200 years?) and mature children (those aged around 15) act as teachers and role models for the younger ones (schooling them and teaching them basic weapon skills, etc.) under the notion that it will prepare them for their journey to paradise (Big Town) (...which turns out to be a crock and few survive without being enslaved)

So, yeah. If you can believe in the escapist fantasy that a post-nuclear wasteland will still be inhabitable and have semblances of organised society, then it shouldn't be too hard to feel that at least one of those tiny communities will be comprised only of children.

 

[Nomanslander]

Bayonetta, nothing IMO comes close to the ridiculousness this game's plot entails.

 

[Al-Bundy-da-G]

Reading this thread, you'd almost believe there isn't a single coherent video game story...

...And if you read a thread entitled "who's the gayest character in gaming", you'd almost believe there isn't a single game that doesn't at least include someone in the closet.

We should make a "Games with sexixt undertones" thread and I'm sure someone would manage to shoehorn Tetris in there.

No, but the it is discriminating against gays. Oh so everyone only wants straight blocks, no crooked ones.

 

[StorytellingIsAMust]

Most of the core Mario games (Mario 64, Sunshine, Galaxy, etc) tend to gloss over the "story" and just use it as an excuse to put stars in lava pits or whatever. Not that Mario needs a story outside of the Mario RPGs, but still. The closest to a story is Sunshine, and they sort of forget about it halfway through, and what they do establish makes no sense. Why does everyone think that the blue Shadow Mario looks anything like Mario? Why does Bowser Jr seriously believe that Peach is his mother? Why does it take half the game for Peach to get kidnapped anyway? Why did E Gadd give Bowser Jr the paintbrush in the first place? Why can't Yoshi swim? Too many questions.

 

[Wapox]

Flower... I don't get it.. I hope someone can explain it to me.. anyone?
Flower...

 

[ChupathingyX]

• First of all, this is a dystopian future, so the idea of giving birth under the age of 16 would be quite common.
  > Secondly, the caves would have provided a similar level of protection as, say, a vault.
  > Thirdly, people in uncovered towns such as Megaton seem to have been able to survive, and they are exposed to outside radiation and live on the same foodstuffs.
  > Fourthly, weapons, as we all know, are rather easily scavenged (just look in any office filing cabinet, and all travelling salesman sell weapons).
  > Fifthly, seeing as several outsiders know of Little Lamplight and the community they have there, the notion that it's not a secret place and anyone under the age of 16 can go there and live would have been common knowledge. In fact, it would have been a desirable place to live for any child, born outside of Little Lamplight.
  > Sixthly, Super Mutants are big dumb brutes only effective in groups, and don't really attack Little Lamplight (they go for Big Town, which is less fortified and exposed).
  > Seventhly, Super Mutants don't tend to attack heavily fortified places outside of the DC ruins.
  > Eighthly, as it's such a harsh wilderness, trust would have been at an all-time low, and a child would naturally find more trust in other children than adults.
  > Ninthly, the idea of children banding together, borne out of mistrust for adults, and perpetuating a myth that 'a better place awaits when you're 16' (Big Town) is not so unbelievable, given the context of the game (radiation really makes cockroaches 12000% larger? For instance...)

1. Uhhh no, this is the first time in the Fallout series a place like this has appeared. I don't ever recall anyone giving birth to someone while under the age of 16.
2. No they don't, anyone or anything can simply walk right into the cave.
3. Technically such lareg amounts of radiation should be gone by now, and towns like Megaton don't make much sense to begin with.
4. That isn't the part that doesn't make sense.
5. Yes, people like...slavers? Also, what kind of young child would just go on a journey to find some underground society. How do they know where to go and how would they even survive?
6. You don't have to be a genius to know that smashing a stick over someone's head will hurt them. There is a whole vault and valley full of super mutants just next to Littel Lamplight, why they haven't raided the place is beyond me.
7. Little Lamplight is not heavilt fortified. It's guarded by a bunch of little, cowardly children who run at the first sign of trouble.
8. Why? Children can't be assholes? Plus adults provide much better protection. And stemming from that why would they get rid of anyone once they turn 16? If they have been living there their whole life wouldn't they be trustworthy, not to mention more stronger and more useful.
9. It's still stupid and in the end just wouldn't work on any level.

 

[repeating integers]

Fallout 3 was like that.

Why?

-Little Mother Fucking Lamplight

Anyway, the chums who designed the Pillar of Autumn must have had a field day when designing the reactors. "Basically, we need the only exit to the reactor core to be like a giant rollercoaster."
"Sir?"
"That way, if they ever get blown Death-Star style, then whoever does it can make a dramatic escape on a 4x4 vehicle!"
"Genius."

Bungie admitted that there is no conceivable way anybody would ever build a spaceship like this - in fact, the trench wouldn't even fit in the Pillar of Autumn. They just included it for the lulz. So yeah, it revels in its nonsensicalness.

 

[Felstaff]

So... what age were people giving birth, in the Fallout 3 universe? If there's no evidence for people under sixteen giving birth, where's the evidence that every mother was over 16 in the first place?
Anyone can walk into the cave where Little Lamplight is situated, but as I recall, the front gate was heavily fenced (fortified) as was the rear entrance, where Super Mutants had invaded.
If towns like Megaton don't make sense, then why has Little Lamplight been singled out in this thread...? None of the Fallout universe makes sense! After a nukular holocaust, the next generation of survivors (outside of the vaults) would not be using such eloquent language (see the film 'Threads' [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090163] for an idea of what I mean) or even English at all. With the destruction of societal infrastructure such as education and communication, language will end up fragmented and corrupted to a point of incomprehensibility within a single generation. The most likely forms of post-nuclear community will be akin to sprawling refugee camps, rather than tiny pockets of foragers. Technology and weaponry will have all but been eradicated 200 years after global destruction, due to the fact these things take energy, and there would be no energy source (power stations, factories, etc.) in operation. Also, weapons degrade. Even the best-kept musket in your local museum looks completely unusable after 200 years.

Anyway, I don't disagree that Little Lamplight is a somewhat unbelievable aspect of the Fallout universe, I just wonder why it was singled out when virtually every other aspect of the game is somewhat more questionable in terms of likelihood.

i.e. You can accept the existence of a race of nine-foot tall green snarling monsters carrying miniguns and taking over parts of a decimated Washington D.C., but you can't envisage a cave full of hiding kids?

 

[BaronOfStuff]

TimeSplitters.

Not TS2 or TSFP, just the original. The 'story' makes no sense whatsoever.

 

[ChupathingyX]

So... what age were people giving birth, in the Fallout 3 universe? If there's no evidence for people under sixteen giving birth, where's the evidence that every mother was over 16 in the first place?

I never said there was "evidence", just that I do not recall under 16 births.

Anyone can walk into the cave where Little Lamplight is situated, but as I recall, the front gate was heavily fenced (fortified) as was the rear entrance, where Super Mutants had invaded.

I'm pretty sure a bunch of super mutants could figure out a way to blow a hole in their defenses, or anyone who owns any kind of explosive...or the ability to climb.

If towns like Megaton don't make sense, then why has Little Lamplight been singled out in this thread...? None of the Fallout universe makes sense!

It's science fiction, no it does not make sense but that does not mean that they can go all out and start making bullshit stuff...that's fantasy. Little Lamplight has been singled out because it is one of the worst examples.

After a nukular holocaust, the next generation of survivors (outside of the vaults) would not be using such eloquent language (see the film 'Threads' [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090163] for an idea of what I mean) or even English at all.

Yes, because every single post-apocalyptic game/movie/TV series et cetera, has to follow that TV series...

/sarcasm

Not everyone outside the vaults was killed you know.

With the destruction of societal infrastructure such as education and communication, language will end up fragmented and corrupted to a point of incomprehensibility within a single generation.

Unless people are smart and figure that rebuilding society would be a good idea, including schools and trying to increase communication (which has been achieved). Also, once again not everything was destroyed.

Also what you said has happened in soem areas, such as Utah.

The most likely forms of post-nuclear community will be akin to sprawling refugee camps, rather than tiny pockets of foragers.

Tch, yeah, maybe a couple of decades after the bombs, but after 200 years people (on the west coast at least) have started to form successful societies, just look at the NCR. Also, you're proclaiming these things as if they are fact, the Fallout universe was not created by you, it was created by other people and they created it how they wanted to, you can't say that they're wrong if they made it (I'm referring to the original creators and not Bethesda who took what they made and screwed it up).

Technology and weaponry will have all but been eradicated 200 years after global destruction, due to the fact these things take energy, and there would be no energy source (power stations, factories, etc.) in operation. Also, weapons degrade. Even the best-kept musket in your local museum looks completely unusable after 200 years.

What about the vast majorities of weapons stored in bunkers and armories? What about the weapons stored in Vaults? What about weapons found in areas that were'nt bombed heavily or at all? What if there were people who discovered how to make weapons and began producing them themselves?

Also there are still energy sources and power stations working in the Fallout world, once again I need to point out that not everything was destroyed.

Anyway, I don't disagree that Little Lamplight is a somewhat unbelievable aspect of the Fallout universe, I just wonder why it was singled out when virtually every other aspect of the game is somewhat more questionable in terms of likelihood.

Like I said before, this is science-fiction, no it does not exist in our world, but in Fallout and many other sci-fi universes there are barriers and certain things that are just too stupid if they cannot be explained. That's one important aspect of sci-fi media, things are usually explained as to how they work, and Fallout is an example of this for the most part.

In Fallout 1,2 and New Vegas the societies are explained and we have seen the evolution of the New California Republic for example and in New Vegas, Caesar explains in detail how he managed to build up his legion.

i.e. You can accept the existence of a race of nine-foot tall green snarling monsters carrying miniguns and taking over parts of a decimated Washington D.C., but you can't envisage a cave full of hiding kids?

No I can't accept that because there shouldn't be super mutants in D.C., they were exclusive to the west and Bethesda just shoehorned them into Fallout 3.

 

[Furious Styles]

Heavy Rain

So much doesn't end up making sense

 

[Silenthillreturnz]

Gears of war linear

 

[ScoobyDizzle]

Bayonetta, be honest you know you spent half the game running, shooting and slicing with no idea why.