Wow.. tough situation..
The soap opera solution would be to just be honest, stand your ground and eventually people will have to accept you for what you are. But that's not really true. This might be something you and your dad never get over for the rest of your lives, and while that would be tragic so would compromising such a big part of your life.
Also, at 14 you're going to encounter a lot of extra hostility from people who think you're too young to make those kind of decisions. I started seriously thinking about guys when I was a year or two older than you are now, so while you're precocious I get where you're coming from. But if your parents want you to be straight they might bring themselves to the conclusion that you're rebelling against them or seeking attention, which ironically might make them act more harshly to try and shake you out of it.
Bear in mind this is just my opinion, but I think coming out at your age might be more trouble than it's worth. You know yourself and your sexuality better than most people at your age can even aspire to, and that alone will make it very hard for them to understand. Ultimately, the acceptance of others is just a poor substitute for accepting yourself. You need to ask yourself why it's such an urgent thing to have these other people know. It's not like it would change anything, except maybe losing you some friends. Assuming your friends are your age, you can't expect them to be tolerant either because they're still going to be pretty insecure in their own sexualities.
It will come up naturally when you start seeing guys, and that might well be the time when it needs to come out, but for now I'd focus on growing comfortable with yourself before looking for acceptance from others. It might seem cowardly, but just remember, this is the hardest point. From now on, it will only get easier and easier to be accepted. You could probably do without the hassle of having to deal with a homophobic father right now.
The soap opera solution would be to just be honest, stand your ground and eventually people will have to accept you for what you are. But that's not really true. This might be something you and your dad never get over for the rest of your lives, and while that would be tragic so would compromising such a big part of your life.
Also, at 14 you're going to encounter a lot of extra hostility from people who think you're too young to make those kind of decisions. I started seriously thinking about guys when I was a year or two older than you are now, so while you're precocious I get where you're coming from. But if your parents want you to be straight they might bring themselves to the conclusion that you're rebelling against them or seeking attention, which ironically might make them act more harshly to try and shake you out of it.
Bear in mind this is just my opinion, but I think coming out at your age might be more trouble than it's worth. You know yourself and your sexuality better than most people at your age can even aspire to, and that alone will make it very hard for them to understand. Ultimately, the acceptance of others is just a poor substitute for accepting yourself. You need to ask yourself why it's such an urgent thing to have these other people know. It's not like it would change anything, except maybe losing you some friends. Assuming your friends are your age, you can't expect them to be tolerant either because they're still going to be pretty insecure in their own sexualities.
It will come up naturally when you start seeing guys, and that might well be the time when it needs to come out, but for now I'd focus on growing comfortable with yourself before looking for acceptance from others. It might seem cowardly, but just remember, this is the hardest point. From now on, it will only get easier and easier to be accepted. You could probably do without the hassle of having to deal with a homophobic father right now.
