Getting over somebody?

[Thespian]

Well, lately I've been feeling just down because of how overwhelmed I am by the fact that I am still as strongly in love with someone as I was two years ago despite the fact that I only rarely see them these days. He happens to be straight, unlike me, and even though I knew nothing could ever happen I thought I would tell him how I felt, because I really wanted some closure.
Even after doing so, I still feel just as strongly about him.

It sucks, but I'm trying to be positive and move on. Even if I don't base my actions off what is said here, I'd find it interesting to know...

Escapists: What would you do if you were in love with someone but knew it could never go any further?

 

[Pandaman1911]

I feel your pain. I'm still not over pretty much that exact situation. I just don't think about it. Works well enough.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Just gotta keep busy with other things to get your mind off of it all. I mean, you're going to think about it eventually at some point again, but each time it won't hurt as much and then it'll get to a point where you just stop thinking/caring about it all together. Main point is to keep busy. That's my biggest advice. Good luck.

 

[manythings]

I haven't been in that situation but I would say, as harsh as it sounds, suck it up. Eventually it might hurt less. Is it possible that it's a lot worse than it could've been if he was gay since that means it's one of those "road never taken" situations?

 

[Booze Zombie]

State how you feel to them, say you've just got to get it off of your chest and they don't have to do anything. I know it's easy to say something, but I like to think I'm not unrealistic in my advice to people.

 

[Thespian]

Just gotta keep busy with other things to get your mind off of it all. I mean, you're going to think about it eventually at some point again, but each time it won't hurt as much and then it'll get to a point where you just stop thinking/caring about it all together. Main point is to keep busy. That's my biggest advice. Good luck.

I feel your pain. I'm still not over pretty much that exact situation. I just don't think about it. Works well enough.

What I have learned from this thread is that Pandas are good at giving advice on love.
And yeah, I'm actually trying very hard to keep busy. Changing quite a few things about my lifestyle. Tis good advice, as is thinking about something else.

I haven't been in that situation but I would say, as harsh as it sounds, suck it up. Eventually it might hurt less. Is it possible that it's a lot worse than it could've been if he was gay since that means it's one of those "road never taken" situations?

Probably true. To be honest I was just angry that it wasn't something I ever so much as had a fighting chance with. But you're right, just gotta suck it up.

 

[Folio]

You need to look for someone new. This might not be a wise decision, but the problem is that you never met someone else like him. So meet someone.

I've posted a birthdaycard last year to someone I liked but rejected me anyway. She saw right through my intentions. It was stupid of me to even TRY.

Let it go, forget it. Burn it out of your braincells.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Just gotta keep busy with other things to get your mind off of it all. I mean, you're going to think about it eventually at some point again, but each time it won't hurt as much and then it'll get to a point where you just stop thinking/caring about it all together. Main point is to keep busy. That's my biggest advice. Good luck.

I feel your pain. I'm still not over pretty much that exact situation. I just don't think about it. Works well enough.

What I have learned from this thread is that Pandas are good at giving advice on love

yeah, and still they got problems with reproduction, strange eh?

But i agree with nature's KISS fans here. You can't change it, so learn to live with it. I had feelings for my best friend for years, i just learned to move them more in a "silblings love" direction and look at her as a kinda sister. I got over it as i found someone new later.

 

[Annoying Turd]

Same with me. I'm forever alone since the one girl I like has rejected me for the past 2 years.

It's all my fault though. I was an asshole to her.

 

[LostTimeLady]

For several years I too was in a situation of unrequited love. I too expressed my feelings to the indivdual and like you it didn't make it better. The only time I found closure really was after we had a massive argument and I didn't speak or see him for months. After that, I made the first move and got back in contact (I decided I'd forgiven him for the cause of the argument and wanted to be friends again) but I realised that the feeling that I had had gone away, or at least, I had managed to move on.

My advice is, give things time and although it probably hurts more to begin with, not being around the person helps, at least it helped me.

Good luck and stay possitive.

 

[Thespian]

-snip-

Probably true. A corresponding sexuality would be swell, actually.
That's tough luck with that birthday card story. Still, it's probably best you did give it a try, no?

-snip-

Actually it is good advice, but it's a few days late. Which I did kinda say in the OP... But no big. Anyway yeah... I actually said pretty much exactly what you suggested. So good thinking, appreciate it.

 

[BonsaiK]

Escapists: What would you do if you were in love with someone but knew it could never go any further?

It sucks, but I'm trying to be positive and move on.

Looks like you already know the answer to your own question.

Moving on isn't particularly easy, but it's essential and there's no avoiding it. You can speed up the process by:

* Meeting new friends
* Getting invoved in new and different social activities
* Limiting exposure to your old love interest as much as is practical

 

[jacobythehedgehog]

Luckly your on the Escapist, so you can play video games to stop thinking about significant others. atleast thats what I do.

 

[Togs]

The old cliche "time heals all wounds" holds surprisingly true- give it time and find stuff to occupy your mind, before you know it you'll look back on this period of time with a mix of embarassment and humour.

 

[PeacanPie]

Often it never really goes away until you meet someone else who you feel strongly for. Just keep busy, go out and do new things. Meet new people, you never know what else you might find.
I just got out of a three year relationship with someone and I know it's not easy letting go even when it's the right and/or best thing to do. Just live each day as it comes and try not to think too much about it.

 

[Nimcha]

The only way to get over someone is to get under someone!

 

[aba1]

just always keep in mind "it could always be worse" at least things arnt as bad as they could be

 

[Thespian]

The only way to get over someone is to get under someone!

His girlfriend may take issue with that.

-snip-

I know what I am trying to do, but like I said in the OP I was wondering what people normally do.. Thanks for your input, by the by, I think some of your suggestions were useful.

 

[Booze Zombie]

-snip-

Actually it is good advice, but it's a few days late. Which I did kinda say in the OP... But no big. Anyway yeah... I actually said pretty much exactly what you suggested. So good thinking, appreciate it.

I apologise for not reading your original post properly, I was in a rush to post between a number of sites. Not the best way to go about helping people...

Dealing with something that's in the past, you've got to respect that it happened but it is no longer present, reality or even tangable, if you forget it happened, it never did. But I wouldn't suggest forgetting it, it's an important lesson to learn from, merely respect it as an experience in your life, an experience to learn from. Go party with friends, tell them of your woes, cry on a shoulder, seek social support in general.

Everyone experiences some form of sorrow, you shall never be alone when you're unhappy.

 

[Nimcha]

The only way to get over someone is to get under someone!

His girlfriend may take issue with that.

I meant someone else >.>