Getting over somebody?

[Griffolion]

Well, lately I've been feeling just down because of how overwhelmed I am by the fact that I am still as strongly in love with someone as I was two years ago despite the fact that I only rarely see them these days. He happens to be straight, unlike me, and even though I knew nothing could ever happen I thought I would tell him how I felt, because I really wanted some closure.
Even after doing so, I still feel just as strongly about him.

It sucks, but I'm trying to be positive and move on. Even if I don't base my actions off what is said here, I'd find it interesting to know...

Escapists: What would you do if you were in love with someone but knew it could never go any further?

Move on. It's never as easy as it sounds, not even a little bit, but time is a big factor in it. Also, try not to see the person, and surround yourself in people who are separate from him. Perhaps a different circle of friends.

These things are never easy, I went through it myself. But pining and dwelling on it don't do you any good.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Well, lately I've been feeling just down because of how overwhelmed I am by the fact that I am still as strongly in love with someone as I was two years ago despite the fact that I only rarely see them these days. He happens to be straight, unlike me, and even though I knew nothing could ever happen I thought I would tell him how I felt, because I really wanted some closure.
Even after doing so, I still feel just as strongly about him.

It sucks, but I'm trying to be positive and move on. Even if I don't base my actions off what is said here, I'd find it interesting to know...

Escapists: What would you do if you were in love with someone but knew it could never go any further?

One of the seven deadly sins work for me, or a combination of them.
Eat till your heart's content, Gluttony.
Envy other couples, Envy.
Find a sexual outlet, Lust.
Find lesser individuals and feel great, Pride.
Use violence as an outlet in a sparring ring or in the street, Wrath.
Sit at home and cry till you forgot what you were crying about, Sloth.
Go on a gambling run, or do something that will make you feel like you achieved something, Greed.
That's my advice, you can do none of them if you wish.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

I wish I knew a quick secret.

I'm in the situation where I'm in love with someone, and she loves me (to a lesser extent), but she doesn't want us to date. What makes things worse is that rather than in the past when I've been in that situation we'd drift apart, and I'd move on. She, however, wants us to move in together.

Best advice I've found is to find somebody else. This "one true love" thing is basically crap. If it was true odds are you would never actually meet that person unless they happened to be living in the same town as you. There are loads of great people to meet.

 

[Thespian]

I meant someone else >.>

I know. Just twisting your words ^^

-snip-

Not at all, simple mistake. It is only a forum after all.
Crying on shoulders sounds good. Will do.

 

[Genericjim101]

Time and acceptance are effective. Keeping busy with hobbies and work too.

 

[Bobbity]

Probably spend the next five years moping around and writing bad love poems.

 

[GameMaNiAC]

I am in this situation right now and... yeah, I have no clue what to do. I'm just sad.

 

[yohlazy]

Well I am in love with someone how is currently with someone else (left me for that person) I try to remind myself that I love that person and want them to be happy which they are the way they are Don't know if it will help (it barely helps me) but yeah

 

[Biodeamon]

I find incredibly hard to fall in love mostly because i think of other things first instead of a mate, but partly because my intrests in women is pretty specific.

I wouldn't find it that hard however because i have to get over being lonely every night when i'm trying to sleep and i've been dealing with that pretty easily, so i don't think loving somebody when it won't work it w. on't be that hard.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Well I am in love with someone how is currently with someone else (left me for that person) I try to remind myself that I love that person and want them to be happy which they are the way they are Don't know if it will help (it barely helps me) but yeah

What a crock of shit. Love isn't about wanting them to be happy, it's about you wanting them to be happy with you. Honestly, if you can't fuck 'em, fuck 'em. Just ditch them, stop speaking, never have closure, leave them alone, get them out of your life and live it without them. It sounds mean and it sounds difficult but it's the best way of moving on. Being tied to them as friends means you're going to run back to them time and time again because you aren't over them, even if you think they are.

That's my advice to all of you.

 

[lord.jeff]

It's hard to get over and nothing will make it go away over night, though you already seem to be already aware of that, just in hang in there it will eventually pass, in the mean time try to meet some new friends and try a new hobby.

 

[Klarinette]

It just takes time. I'm currently dealing with a breakup that happened at the end of May. It sucks when you start making long-term plans with someone and then they decide 'no'.

These things take time. I don't mean that it hurts less with time, because it doesn't. The time that goes by is what you spend getting yourself to understand that you have to let go and move on. Once that's okay, you find someone else, and then you stop thinking about the other person. You essentially replace them, and then the shiny, new situation makes everything okay again. I'm still working on agreeing with the idea that I should be working on letting go. It's a slow process.

 

[The Grim Ace]

Do everything else you can. Throw yourself wholeheartedly into whatever interests you. It's hard to get over someone when you really care for them, but you have to do whatever it takes, otherwise it'll just make you feel worse.

 

[Blow_Pop]

Just gotta keep busy with other things to get your mind off of it all. I mean, you're going to think about it eventually at some point again, but each time it won't hurt as much and then it'll get to a point where you just stop thinking/caring about it all together. Main point is to keep busy. That's my biggest advice. Good luck.

I feel your pain. I'm still not over pretty much that exact situation. I just don't think about it. Works well enough.

What I have learned from this thread is that Pandas are good at giving advice on love.
And yeah, I'm actually trying very hard to keep busy. Changing quite a few things about my lifestyle. Tis good advice, as is thinking about something else.

The pandas are right. I was in love with my best friend for 5 years had him hurt me repeatedly and finally he pushed me away for a girlfriend and now that they've broken up our roles have reversed. I don't love him that way anymore. He wants to be with me now. I can't do it. All I did was get more involved in video games, books, and my other friends who wanted me in their lives. And of course, the internet. Re-evaluate yourself and look at the big picture....

 

[Maxtro]

Cut all contact whatsoever.

Get rid of everything that reminds you of that person.

Do things that keep you busy.

 

[ThePurpleStuff]

If I love someone, but we can't be together or they don't feel the same as I do back, then I get over it and move on. Having constant feelings for someone who doesn't like you that way is a bit childish or shows you're weak willed. What you want is never going to be, so you got to find someone else.