Girl is nice to me, therefore she likes me?

[ToxicOranges]

I do act like this sometimes, but like an earlier post, it's easy for me to notice and stop myself.

Generally as well, I would never misconstrue a friends niceness as genuine affection - but I find that when strangers are nice to me, my mind does tend to jump to conclusions somewhat...

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I'm kind of the opposite; I just assume anyone I meet has no remote romantic interest in me whatsoever unless they beat me over the head with a sign. Low self-esteem, ho!

Captcha = Chuck Norris

Umm, no thank you?

 

[Lord Kloo]

I do this a lot however I don't usually act upon it (self-confidence issues and whatnot), having a majority of female friends I have at some point or another thought that I liked each of them and each of them liked me, usually only briefly and dispelled quickly.

It seems quite natural to be honest, the need to be liked/loved and to like/love. Although it is annoying when people do act upon every basic instinct, and I've known a few who do.

However, I suppose we're all only human (at least until my super human genetics project takes-off..)

 

[Atrocious Joystick]

Doesn't every guy work like that? I mean not like your friend who goes "whoo she said hi to me, she must love me forever". But we're "designed" to work like that. Woo for a female´s attention. If you're talking too a pretty face and it's going well, you're make her laugh something goes off in your brain that says "Ding! +1 mating points. Keep it up champ!". Just like when you're being ignored another thing goes off in your brain telling you "Dude what kind of man are you? You couldn't woo a mexican prostitute if you had a boat full of cocaine."

Most people keep the poker face up and either brush it off or move in for the kill but some people just wear their emotions on their sleeves.

I don't see why it is your problem, he's a weird dude hopefully he'll learn it and change or just grow out of it. Invite him to parties if you like him, if you don't then stop. No need for you to fix him or set him up with someone. That's just a shallow attempt at being a good guy.

 

[flames09]

Buy him an hour with your local working girl, do the right thing.

 

[Littaly]

How does someone even get to this point in the first place? Anyone else have a friend who thinks every girl like him?

I've never been nearly as bad as your friend, but on occasion I've caught myself straying into that thought-territory. Thankfully, I usually manage to slap myself out of it before I stray to far, but I can relate on some level.

Can't speak for your friend, but for me I think it comes from a general inexperience with socializing and pessimistic view on people in general. I'm pretty bad at conversations, and I don't expect people to be interested whatever I have to say. So whenever someone is, and acts all nice about it, that means they're into me, right? Of course not, they're just nice people, being nice, but if you're not used to meeting new people it can be easy to assume otherwise...

 

[DkLnBr]

I used to be like your friend, with the whole "She's standing within 3 feet of me!!! she must like me!!!!" but now i've gone completely over board the other way, thinking that "oh she's just being nice, thats cool" and finding out 2 years later that she really did like me. Damn... I'll get the 'just right' zone sooner or later. But in the meantime i'll just be socially awkward, thats cool.

 

[Gnoekeos]

I feel really bad for that guy, I hope he can come to understand how relationships work so he can actually find someone.

 

[Creator002]

I used to do this. Maybe it's a general male thing, maybe it's something else, but I've had to stop myself on multiple occasions just recently from thinking a girl likes me because she's being nice. I don't ask them out though, because I don't want a girlfriend at the moment, so I don't pester them for anything.

 

[smithy_2045]

I feel sorry for your mate. He clearly doesn't naturally pick up on the signs of attraction, so he overcompensates. It'd be cruel to just ostracize him from all social events, especially if he's a nice bloke as you say. Help him learn to identify when girls are and aren't interested so he doesn't make an ass of himself.

 

[Sandjube]

Pretty sad. When women are nice to me (a lot of the time) I just feel more comfortable telling jokes around them, and that's about it.

I'm a bit late here, but yeah that. If people are nice to me, then I'm nice to them, and if I'm nice to someone I expect the common courtesy to BOW DOWN TO ME FOR I AM YOUR NEW GOD wait no I just meant be nice back.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Oh dear.
Question for any females browsing the thread, does anyway get a similar impression when switching the roles? Because if so apparently I want to go around and fuck damn near every girl I've spoken to in the school.

I know one girl who develops an interest in guys who are nice to her. It gets awkward when she does it with our guy friends, even when they make it clear that they have no interest. She just likes getting laid though, it's not really a relationship thing. I suppose that's different.

OP: I've encountered a few guys like that. I was caught in an unfortunate situation with my ex's (this happened while we were together though) best friend one time though. He was lovely but had no luck with women and was a bit of a socially awkward penguin. We became friends and I tried to boost his confidence by encouraging him to get girls and talk to them.

In the end, rather than meet other women he kind of developed some feelings for me (I doubt they were real feelings, I was just convenient and nice to him) and he would say things that were inappropriate to say to your best friend's girlfriend so I distanced myself from the situation.

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

I used to be like that, then I realised that it hurt me more then anything to keep doing that same thing over and over and over, so I stopped. I don't know how I got there, I guess it was up until that time I did't really talk to women much at all, then when they did I saw it as attraction, not general friendliness.

 

[Bertylicious]

Poor, desperate, fool. As someone else said it sounds like depression. You might want to talk with him and help him out before the sadness reaches his lungs.

If you're suffering from mental illness then you really need to get a handle on that before thinking about matters of the heart. Having a relationship with a girl before hand will either result in an abortive affair or something akin to a mutual assault when you both end up getting hurt.