Girl Problems: Which to choose?

[ad5x5]

This is the classic example of a luxury problem.

GO WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE

DON'T LOVE ONE?

DON'T GO WITH ONE.

surely if we all waited for the one we love none of us'd never get anywhere...?

hi - ad5x5, cynical, paranoid, emotional basket case. here all week.

OT:
Go for the one you think will make you happy.
this is assuming you want a relationship - if you're just looking for the physical, go for the one you think looks better/will be better in the sack.

 

[joshthor]

Right, so here is the scenario.
There are a lot of cute girls in my school. Recently I found out that this girl who goes 1 year lower than me, likes me. I was told so by her friend, and I guess that she is telling the truth.
BUT
Realising that this girl liked me, I realised that there was another girl that liked me, because they always act really similarly around me. They are shy, smile a lot, always say hi to me, and laugh at everything I say. Well, the laughing part is girl B...
So, Girl A is in my lower class and I know that she likes me. Girl B, I believe that she likes me. So, I don't know which one I like, and if they both like me, won't I hurt the other one by going out with the other?
:S some help would be appreciated

go for whoever you like best. i made the mistake and went for the one i knew liked me and we were done in 2 weeks and i felt like a dick.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Thnx, for point of fact, I'm 16...woot teenage drama (2nd one in 2 years! )
They are both cute, both funny, but i don't know them quite well enough to know them deeply. Especially girl A, who is in a younger class. I could always ask girl B, but if she rejects me then it might ruin my friendship with her. Besides, i can't really make up my mind..... but.....

No problem.
Ah yes...I'm 17, I have a girlfriend who is roughly 420 miles away from me, and my mum disapproves quite deeply. When it comes to teenage drama, I can sympathise ;D
And she just came in to tell me 'not too late' before bed. I'm not a fucking child for god sake!

Aaanyway, sorry.
Well, let's say for sake of example that you're right in your guesses, and that both these girls like you. Unless one of them isn't that serious, one of them is inevitably going to get hurt here. I think you should become closer to them both and see who you like better in terms of personality. Facebook or something similar is always very effective for establishing familiarity with people.

If it's right, you'll feel it. I had the choice of a girl in my hometown, literally living about 20 minutes walk from me, or the girl 420 miles away who is a 7 hour car drive. I chose the 7 hour car drive. Do I regret it? Hell fucking no.

 

[ad5x5]

secondly, go to smth you'd both enjoy, like a movie or a bar. don't call it a "date", she might be turned off. just go along like friends ans try to make (subtle) moves on her. believe me, girls get the "subtle" stuff very well. also be observant of HER subtle acting, she'll expect you to understand and act upon it. otherwise, she might get upset.

this is something I don't understand about women.

how are we meant to tell if you like us or not unless you make it obvious?
flicking your hair/touching your throat/shuffling weight are all very well and good, but they're not obvious signs. Why can't you just say something like "Hey, let's get a drink."

Most men don't understand these signals, if we notice them. If we touch our throat it's probably because we need a shave or we cut ourselves shaving and need to scratch. If we shuffle its probably because we need the kharzi and want to hear the end of our mate's story about how he caught that trout that time with a toothpick, a rubber band and a half-empty bottle of ketchup.

PS. "Hey, let's get a drink." is not "Are you going to buy me a drink?"
That question will (with me anyway) result in a swift termination of the conversation, unless I've known you for six months already and we're friends or more.

 

[Eggsnham]

-Snip-

Do YOU like either one of them? If not, then don't ask either one of them out.

Rule of thumb: Get to know a person before asking them out, and if you don't like their personality or they don't seem like they'd be a good match for you, then don't ask them out.

Also, don't get to know them too well, otherwise they may just view you as a friend. That makes it awkward if you ask them, in case you didn't know.

 

[faceless chick]

this is something I don't understand about women.

how are we meant to tell if you like us or not unless you make it obvious?
flicking your hair/touching your throat/shuffling weight are all very well and good, but they're not obvious signs. Why can't you just say something like "Hey, let's get a drink."

Most men don't understand these signals, if we notice them. If we touch our throat it's probably because we need a shave or we cut ourselves shaving and need to scratch. If we shuffle its probably because we need the kharzi and want to hear the end of our mate's story about how he caught that trout that time with a toothpick, a rubber band and a half-empty bottle of ketchup.

PS. "Hey, let's get a drink." is not "Are you going to buy me a drink?"
That question will (with me anyway) result in a swift termination of the conversation, unless I've known you for six months already and we're friends or more.

women are just too complex
no, seriously, biologically speaking women are inclined towards intense social activity, multitasking and apparently can focus on more than 1 person talking at once (unlike men who can only focus on 1 task)

so women expect men to be just as "complex" and get their "subtext".
i think that, even though women are supposedly easy to empathize with others, they don't understand others can't empathize with them.
i've noticed with the more "girly girls" i hang around with that they actually think most ppl know their true self and understand their needs.

your best chance would be to learn this "language" and like i said earlier, pay attention to what she says, no matter how boring or stupid it is, because it'll let out clues about her hobbies or passions and such and like a boring school teacher, she'll quiz you on it later on.

i probably have too much testosterone in me, might be from my tomboyish childhood or tv shows, but i usually don't understand women either and i'm very blunt and to the point with what i want.
strangely, this seems to be a turn-off for men :/

 

[Nuke_em_05]

Who do you like more? Ask that one out.

=IF(Response=Yes,,Forget about it)

!Sytax error unmatched parenthesis!
Darn smilies! Oh well.

Seriously, if you are interested in one, and probably you have a preferred one, ask them out. If they say yes, awesomesauce (or whatever the kids say these days). If they say no, big whoop, move on, less time worring about it, and if you really were friends without expectations on either side beforehand, it shouldn't be a problem.

Don't worry, your life will not be over either way. You probably will only keep in touch with between 1 and 10 people you went to school with anyway.

Edit: Also, don't appeal to the internet.

 

[T-Bone24]

"How about you get to know both of them a little so you can actually make a decision?"
I think that is what to go with, but how?

Say hello. Let the conversation continue, bring up your interests. Whichever one you think meshes with you the best, you jump right in there.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Does either one of these girls have a do-it-and-die father?

If so, pick the other one.

 

[ad5x5]

women are just too complex
no, seriously, biologically speaking women are inclined towards intense social activity, multitasking and apparently can focus on more than 1 person talking at once (unlike men who can only focus on 1 task)

so women expect men to be just as "complex" and get their "subtext".
i think that, even though women are supposedly easy to empathize with others, they don't understand others can't empathize with them.
i've noticed with the more "girly girls" i hang around with that they actually think most ppl know their true self and understand their needs.

your best chance would be to learn this "language" and like i said earlier, pay attention to what she says, no matter how boring or stupid it is, because it'll let out clues about her hobbies or passions and such and like a boring school teacher, she'll quiz you on it later on.

i probably have too much testosterone in me, might be from my tomboyish childhood or tv shows, but i usually don't understand women either and i'm very blunt and to the point with what i want.
strangely, this seems to be a turn-off for men :/

I wish more women were like you. (that wasn't a come on btw, just a statement of fact)

How do we learn this subtext and language? Is it a sort of trial and error thing or is there a book?
The most complex subtext we can understand goes along the lines of
'The other guy is drinking, so it's my turn to talk.'

seriously though, I struggle to interact well with most people, especially with people I don't know well. Someone who isn't clear about their intentions will generally be kept at arms length, which gives me a rep for being cold and distant.

Any advice?

(To OP: sorry about the hijack)

 

[XINVADER]

Right, so here is the scenario.
There are a lot of cute girls in my school. Recently I found out that this girl who goes 1 year lower than me, likes me. I was told so by her friend, and I guess that she is telling the truth.
BUT
Realising that this girl liked me, I realised that there was another girl that liked me, because they always act really similarly around me. They are shy, smile a lot, always say hi to me, and laugh at everything I say. Well, the laughing part is girl B...
So, Girl A is in my lower class and I know that she likes me. Girl B, I believe that she likes me. So, I don't know which one I like, and if they both like me, won't I hurt the other one by going out with the other?
:S some help would be appreciated

I say date the first girl. Then you always have the second girl to fall back on if it doesn't work out.

And might I just say I am very jealous right now.

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

My guess would be who ever has bigger boobs or better ass, based on your personal preference.
I'm more of an assman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfD78yUJCQs

 

[SideburnsPuppy]

but what if i hurt the other one?

Then she gets hurt. There's always going to be somebody you know who does not appreciate what you do in any given situation. I used to be the same way, and it's tough, but there's a little book I read called "The Book for People who Do Too Much" (a companion to "The Blue Day Book," which I heartily recommend to anyone who has frequent Blue Days) that helped me understand that I can't please everyone. Hope everything goes well for you, pal.

 

[Standby]

Grow up would probably be my first bit of advice.

No offense, but from your post you sound like you're 12, in which case you have nothing to worry about as it'll last about 2 weeks anyway.

 

[Spekter068]

... dude... BOTH.

nah, seriously, I say make them mud wrestle for you.

Ugh... I have a friend who was the object of a tug-of-war between two girls once. He said the attention was fun for all of five minutes. A victor emerged fairly quickly.

Here's what happened when things went to hell a week later: I was chilling with my friend and his new girl (who is extremely fun to hang out with), and the other girl walked up. She had a knife, and she tried to slit her wrist in front of us. I stepped in and restrained her until the school resource officer showed up. I got stabbed in the forearm and kicked in the nads while doing so XO
In return for my efforts, I received a one-week suspension for fighting. I also had to go to the hospital in an ambulance due to blood loss.

OP: Bottom line, get the situation resolved quickly, because triangles are not fun for anyone.

 

[Cpu46]

Go with girl A, you know she likes you and she most likely knows that you know.
Girl B will have no reason to be upset since she never realy took the chance or made it clear.
If relationship with girl A falls through and girl B actualy likes you there are good odds that girl B will be there to catch you on the rebound. So the situation is win-win.

 

[damselgaming]

There were waaaay to many 'like's for my brain to take in, but if you aren't sure on either of them, then neither. Kind of obvious really.

 

[Daveman]

... dude... BOTH.

nah, seriously, I say make them mud wrestle for you.

Ugh... I have a friend who was the object of a tug-of-war between two girls once. He said the attention was fun for all of five minutes. A victor emerged fairly quickly.

Here's what happened when things went to hell a week later: I was chilling with my friend and his new girl (who is extremely fun to hang out with), and the other girl walked up. She had a knife, and she tried to slit her wrist in front of us. I stepped in and restrained her until the school resource officer showed up. I got stabbed in the forearm and kicked in the nads while doing so XO
In return for my efforts, I received a one-week suspension for fighting. I also had to go to the hospital in an ambulance due to blood loss.

OP: Bottom line, get the situation resolved quickly, because triangles are not fun for anyone.

Wow... I guess I'm just lucky I don't attract that kind of girl... or any kind... XP

 

[Kogarian]

My guess would be who ever has bigger boobs or better ass, based on your personal preference.
I'm more of an assman.

This basically ended the thread over 100 comments ago.

 

[Spekter068]

... dude... BOTH.

nah, seriously, I say make them mud wrestle for you.

Ugh... I have a friend who was the object of a tug-of-war between two girls once. He said the attention was fun for all of five minutes. A victor emerged fairly quickly.

Here's what happened when things went to hell a week later: I was chilling with my friend and his new girl (who is extremely fun to hang out with), and the other girl walked up. She had a knife, and she tried to slit her wrist in front of us. I stepped in and restrained her until the school resource officer showed up. I got stabbed in the forearm and kicked in the nads while doing so XO
In return for my efforts, I received a one-week suspension for fighting. I also had to go to the hospital in an ambulance due to blood loss.

OP: Bottom line, get the situation resolved quickly, because triangles are not fun for anyone.

Wow... I guess I'm just lucky I don't attract that kind of girl... or any kind... XP

Your time will come. In the meantime, don't feel too bad about it: girls can be a major hassle in many, many other ways.