Girl Problems...
- Thread starter LooK iTz Jinjo
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force the issue with a naked man.
as seen in season 4 episode 9 of How I Met Your Mother.
i'm not sure if i can post a link to it here but if you message me i'll send it.
although thinking about it, you lost your chance when she hit you with the cop-out argument, you shouldn't have let that lie, should have told her you could take it slow, could have persuaded her that what she needed wasn't time without seeing someone, but a firm rock to hold on to, who wouldn't let her down.
anyhow i'd go with an ultimatum. you probably won't get the answer you want, but when it comes down to it, at least at the end of the day you know where you stand.
these are best done in person too. when i do these by text or msn, you usually get a lie or no reply.
but you seem like far too nice (a.k.a. shy) a person to do that.
just my thoughts
as seen in season 4 episode 9 of How I Met Your Mother.
i'm not sure if i can post a link to it here but if you message me i'll send it.
although thinking about it, you lost your chance when she hit you with the cop-out argument, you shouldn't have let that lie, should have told her you could take it slow, could have persuaded her that what she needed wasn't time without seeing someone, but a firm rock to hold on to, who wouldn't let her down.
anyhow i'd go with an ultimatum. you probably won't get the answer you want, but when it comes down to it, at least at the end of the day you know where you stand.
these are best done in person too. when i do these by text or msn, you usually get a lie or no reply.
but you seem like far too nice (a.k.a. shy) a person to do that.
just my thoughts
my ex (who was my best friend for soooo long and is still now) we kinda didnt change our ways of hanging out when we did start dating, so we just said maybe we are beter off friends as it seems that way (we both had the same idea just didnt want to tell the other for a while >.>) i cant help you too much never been in a situation like that before sorry, but yeah, try not to overthink things and it may work out sorry for my lack of advice
If you havin' girl problems I feel bad fo you son, I got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one.
Sorry. I'll try and be helpful now.
Yea I've been in a situation similar to yours before, it didn't end well. I tried to stay her friend while she sorted herself out and left me hanging on waiting for when she'd feel ready to commit to something, but then she just found somebody else. I spent far too long hung up on her and it ended up time wasted and pretty much destroyed me emotionally. I'd hate to use the cliché phrase but unfortunately you sound like you're in the friend zone. If you want to try and wait for her I hope things work out, but my advice would be to move on asap, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Sorry. I'll try and be helpful now.
Yea I've been in a situation similar to yours before, it didn't end well. I tried to stay her friend while she sorted herself out and left me hanging on waiting for when she'd feel ready to commit to something, but then she just found somebody else. I spent far too long hung up on her and it ended up time wasted and pretty much destroyed me emotionally. I'd hate to use the cliché phrase but unfortunately you sound like you're in the friend zone. If you want to try and wait for her I hope things work out, but my advice would be to move on asap, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
I almost hate to say this, but I disagree with most of the other posters here. Your friend might have hurt you, but don't turn into "that guy". You know, the guy who plays the "nice guy" who hangs around with girls he has feelings for, then judges them for sleeping with other people. She handled it badly, and may well have emotional issues (making "not wanting to be hurt again" a legitimate excuse) but to be honest, it doesn't really sound like she has feelings for you. If you can just be her friend, stay friends with her. If you can't, move on. Things like this almost never work out well.LooK iTz Jinjo said:
This thread is making me very very depressed....*goes to listen to MCR and weep while cutting himself*
In all seriousness though (Well, it IS making me depressed, but nevermind that), I would say you should talk to her. Simple and easy, talk to her and ask her to be honest. Yes, my advice sucks, I know
In all seriousness though (Well, it IS making me depressed, but nevermind that), I would say you should talk to her. Simple and easy, talk to her and ask her to be honest. Yes, my advice sucks, I know
"The heart of a fair dame is a battlefield that conquers even the greatest of generals, an enigma that stumps even the wisest minds, and a mechanism whose complexity is far beyond that of even the most gifted engineer."
Just remember that whenever you try, there's the inevitable chance you may not succeed, or that the whole thing may fail. Best to learn when to cut your losses and just throw in the towel.
Just remember that whenever you try, there's the inevitable chance you may not succeed, or that the whole thing may fail. Best to learn when to cut your losses and just throw in the towel.
First, I think you should have been more clear of your intentions in the first place, like when you first started spending time together, but that is a moot point at this stage.
Second, I won't preach to you, but you may just have to give her some space for right now. Just be there, reminding her that you would really like to be a bit more serious with her, but if she is going to continue making very poor decisions (like that hooking up bit) are you sure you really want to be more serious with her? I know not all of us are perfect, but if she develops a history of this, it may not be the best idea to continue pursuing her. You might get hurt pretty badly yourself. I can say that because I have gone through something similar to this, and it turned out in that way. She repeated her behavior.
To put it simply, be there for her, but keep in mind that people rarely change. I apologize for being a bit of a raincloud, but someone has to say it, and I don't want people getting hurt who didn't earn it.
Second, I won't preach to you, but you may just have to give her some space for right now. Just be there, reminding her that you would really like to be a bit more serious with her, but if she is going to continue making very poor decisions (like that hooking up bit) are you sure you really want to be more serious with her? I know not all of us are perfect, but if she develops a history of this, it may not be the best idea to continue pursuing her. You might get hurt pretty badly yourself. I can say that because I have gone through something similar to this, and it turned out in that way. She repeated her behavior.
To put it simply, be there for her, but keep in mind that people rarely change. I apologize for being a bit of a raincloud, but someone has to say it, and I don't want people getting hurt who didn't earn it.
My advice will be If you truly love her give her a second chance if it fails screw
i had similair problems but they where that girls keep dumping me for some unknown reason. 6 times now. it goes well at first but after two weeks i get a message that says i dont want to be in a relationship right now. seriously! What the hell did i do wrong! of what you wrote youre still on terms with what reasons she had but i really hope you dont end up like me.
i had similair problems but they where that girls keep dumping me for some unknown reason. 6 times now. it goes well at first but after two weeks i get a message that says i dont want to be in a relationship right now. seriously! What the hell did i do wrong! of what you wrote youre still on terms with what reasons she had but i really hope you dont end up like me.
...Dude...I say this with such sincerity that people might even have trouble believing me considering that I'm kind of an ass, but I seriously feel for you.LooK iTz Jinjo said:
It feels like a crazy problem you hear about in a romantic comedy movie, but the ending in site will in all likeliness be much more bleak.
I'm almost in shock reading your post because of the uncanny resemblance I see in my own life. I mean, truly uncanny, right down to her going out on a bender and fooling around to put us behind her. I can rarely say that I completely understand how someone on these forums feels, but this is a case that I really do. You want to be able to step in and tell her it's all ok. That it doesn't matter. You want to be able to put your feelings away and play the that comfort role, even at the expense of your own sanity. But there is another nagging part of you that doesn't know that you have the strength to pull it off.
I wish I had some really good advice to give you, but I don't. I can only tell you what road not to take. Don't push her away. You guys are gonna feel really awkward towards each other, which is gonna make it really easy to do that. Be conscious of it, because when it happened with me, I didn't even notice it. I thought that with a little space to figure it all out, that maybe it would work out. That we could figure it out. We just ended up growing further apart. I tried to close the gap, but I didn't know how to be the guy I needed to be. I didn't even know what role I was trying to play: her best friend, or the guy she was supposed to love. We grew further apart. She started dating again. I started looking for meaningless pieces of connection in one night stands where I could find them. When I realized that I wanted her in my life any way I could have her, she had already bounced out of two relationships. Here we are today, not as close as we were, but getting better. She has a new boyfriend. I'm still single. And I'm still in love with her. I hope your story ends up better then mine. I really do. Hell, if you figure your mess out, explain it to me. When it comes to her, I'm still pretty lost.
Good luck, dude.
Wow sounds familiar,
Most guys go through this.
You have put her on a pedestal though, is she really that amazing of a girl if she
sleeps around with what sounds like random guys, she might even like you but its not
enough for her to want you as her man.
Give her one final shot
If she wants you as her man, thats fine but be weary the relationship probably wont reach a month
If she wants to be a friend then tell her to cut this using you as a emotional baggage handler crap
Most guys go through this.
You have put her on a pedestal though, is she really that amazing of a girl if she
sleeps around with what sounds like random guys, she might even like you but its not
enough for her to want you as her man.
Give her one final shot
If she wants you as her man, thats fine but be weary the relationship probably wont reach a month
If she wants to be a friend then tell her to cut this using you as a emotional baggage handler crap
Alright, here are my 2 cents.LooK iTz Jinjo said:
1. What is dry sex?
2. She probably does have feelings for you and really doesn't want to date you. (Yes, men, it can happen.) From what I read, it sounds like she is going through some crazy times and is trying to find what's going on in life. She knows that you are there for her now but might be scared that if you date and break up she will lose that. Until she straightens her own life out she will not date you. She is using you as a crutch (which isn't really a good thing) and doesn't want to loose that support.
3. I would tell her not to tell you about her going ons with other men because it makes you feel uncomfortable.
4. If you decide that you want to wait for her to come around and date you, make sure the relationship is healthy until that point. You said that you had started telling her about everything you were dealing with and then it morphed into her telling you about her sexual escapades. Not cool. This just means that she felt like her life and feelings were more important than yours. If you go to her just to talk, make sure that the conversation addresses your issues first and that you feel better before moving on to her problems.
Dude that is brutal and exactly the same thing has happend to me recently, except for mine has a worse ending in which my female best friend got with my male best friend despite her saying she doesnt want a relationship, and my friend sed he wouldn't do that to me. And they both come to me for relationship advice