Girlfriend and her close Guy Friend.

[Aethren]

The way you seem to be so defensive suggests that threesomes or moresomes are out of the equation.

A pity, because they're amazing.

Me and my girl are in an openly poly relationship, and I gotta admit, it's the best thing we've ever done. She has her guy, I have my girl, we have each other, they have each other... I won't say it's an orgy every night, but... It's certainly fun.

 

[thiosk]

Men and women can't be friends.

There, I said it.

It seems like they can be friends, it seems like they should be able to be friends, but eventually, someone is going to want to sleep with someone and then it really isn't a friendship anymore. Its this weird sexually charged thing, just don't bother trying to take a pretty lady to the close friend level, because eventually there will be arms round parts and awkward hugs and inappropriate cuddling.

However, if you have this problem as written, i'm guessing you were born in the 90s and are under, lets say, 23.

October 11, 1996

ok, so that puts you not even out of highschool yet, so I'll come out and say something else: no relationship is worth crap at this age. If hes your friend and he fancies the lady, and hes closer to the lady than you are, hell, let em have at it while you find someone more local. No sense in even getting put out by it. You'll only realize how dumb it was to be upset by it in about 4 more years.

I was 22 before I realized that everything that happened (relationship wise) prior to 22 had no bearing on my future other than contributing to life experience.

 

[m72_ar]

Yes,

Good Guy friend to a girl don't cuddle with her. That's beyond friend stuff
I got a couple of very good female friends.

I will give them a shoulder to cry on if they need one, but I wouldn't cuddle with her if she's in a relationship.
That's her boyfriend's job. If he can't provide it, she should probably ditched him

 

[Doug Las]

I've watched enough movies to know what's going on.
You will confront them and you'll yell at each other,
she will be overly defensive and he won't say much.
After that you breake up and go seperate ways...

But here's the thing: He was gay all along but didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you.
this also explains the cuddling, he's just a very 'huggy' kind of guy,
and since he's not interested in women anyways, he just hugs her all the time.
Also because he only told her so far, they have a very special bond.

At least that would be the case in cheesy TV program or movies.

In real life though? Go and talk to them.

 

[lacktheknack]

This is why long-distance relationships just straight up don't work.

It's a lost cause, man.

 

[rvbnut]

That seems a little suspicious... I'd be upset too if my girl was cuddling with another guy.

Talk to them. If they don't stop doing that shit - dump both of them.

I'd have to agree with this person. Similar thing happened to me. I learned that the best way is the quickest.

Get rid of both of them before you start to feel a LOT worse about it.

I'm really sorry bro.
Find friends that aren't made of the same stuff as the friend you detailed. Gather as much stuff of whatever hobby you partake in (unless it is alcohol or drugs, moderation is key). And just keep thinking that this is life and it happens, we pick ourselves up and move on.

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

Wait, how are we gonna find our friend Scarecrow1001? He is all teh way in New Zealand! How are we gonna get our stuff over there? My van isn't water tight and I haven't insured it!

I happend to know of a...certain Lapras that would be more then happy to help. Dude owes me a favour and can get you the help with the seafaring trip aslong as me and my knife, mister "cut faces" can join the trip.

THREAD MODE!

So...yeah, this is quite the situation. I say you should just go and talk to them, find out what is going on and if there is an issue, deal with it. It's kinda surprising how much information a man can get by just talking to people in a calm and decent manner.

Also

The way you seem to be so defensive suggests that threesomes or moresomes are out of the equation.

/clap for that answer.

 

[Evil Smurf]

1. Talk to both of them
2. Threesome?

 

[xplosive59]

I have seen similar situations before, in those cases though the girl had described the guy as being 'like a brother' so hopefully this is the same case. I would be very pissed though in your situation, it is probably not best to dump her under these circumstances though because you said she is going through some trouble and you don't know what that could do to her. Confront the guy though, he is obviously a **** if he is trying to get with someone who is already in a relationship.

 

[Qwurty2.0]

Nuke them from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

 

[Echopunk]

Go listen to "I ain't studdin you" by Bobby Rush. It offers a helpful philosophy on relationships and infidelity. Including the fact that guys who tell you that so and so was with your girl are just upset that she wasn't with them, and that if they were really your friends, they would tell her (and/or him) "Don't do old Scarecrow1001 like that"

Beyond that, unless someone is a complete paranoiac, intuition is often spot on in these matters. I tried to maintain a long distance relationship with a girlfriend after we went in different directions for school. The ostrich method of sticking your head in the sand is only going to make things worse for you. The best option is simple communication. If there isn't anything to worry about, you're putting yourself through the wringer for no reason. If there is, then it is better to know now before you become any more invested in the relationship.

If none of that helps, then what is good for the goose is good for the gander too. (Also a Bobby Rush song)

If the blues don't lift your spirits, you can always give a listen to Shellac's Prayer to God.

Spoiler: Reference Materials

I ain't studdin ya

Skip to 17:30 for Good for the Goose

Prayer to God

 

[Risingblade]

Confront the bastard, this reeks of suspicious behavior.

Yes, it's the guys fault, cause it's not like women have a choice in who they belong to. >.>

A friend has the choice on whether or not to mess around with a another friends GF. Besides it's a lot easier talking to the guy about this than asking your gf is she's fucking around behind your back. >.>

 

[Abomination]

Confront the bastard, this reeks of suspicious behavior.

Yes, it's the guys fault, cause it's not like women have a choice in who they belong to. >.>

A friend has the choice on whether or not to mess around with a another friends GF. Besides it's a lot easier talking to the guy about this than asking your gf is she's fucking around behind your back. >.>

And a girl has the choice whether to remain faithful or not.

In this case I always consider the romantic partner to be far more at fault than whoever is jumping their bones.

 

[Risingblade]

Confront the bastard, this reeks of suspicious behavior.

Yes, it's the guys fault, cause it's not like women have a choice in who they belong to. >.>

A friend has the choice on whether or not to mess around with a another friends GF. Besides it's a lot easier talking to the guy about this than asking your gf is she's fucking around behind your back. >.>

And a girl has the choice whether to remain faithful or not.

In this case I always consider the romantic partner to be far more at fault than whoever is jumping their bones.

Obviously she's at fault too, if there's really something going on. No one is saying otherwise, I'm just saying it's easier to confront the other party than go asking your partner if they're cheating on you.

 

[salfiert]

I am in the same situation at the moment, but i am in the position of the friend, and fact is he is almost certainly interested, I don't know the guy but in my case I won't do anything, i would feel too guilty regardless of my feelings, can't give you any advice, but yeah, the friend in question is almost certainly at least interested

 

[Scarecrow1001]

So... For anyone interested, we broke up. Now, I'm pretty damn upset and more than a little pissed.

 

[Angie7F]

I am so sorry to hear that. But I think it is for the better.
Cuddling is way more than friendship and you shouldnt have to lose sleep over things like that.

 

[game-lover]

So... For anyone interested, we broke up. Now, I'm pretty damn upset and more than a little pissed.

Ah... shit. I'm sorry. Was it basically what was suspected?

In any case, fuck them both with rusty spiked dildos.

 

[Phasmal]

Men and women can't be friends.

There, I said it.

It seems like they can be friends, it seems like they should be able to be friends, but eventually, someone is going to want to sleep with someone and then it really isn't a friendship anymore. Its this weird sexually charged thing, just don't bother trying to take a pretty lady to the close friend level, because eventually there will be arms round parts and awkward hugs and inappropriate cuddling.

Please do not assume that all male-female friendships are like this. Most of my friends (hell, nearly all of them) are male and I am not vain enough to assume that my male friends are somehow all secretly pining for me, because they aren't.

OT: Sorry to hear you broke up. It is a bit weird for someone to be cuddling with friends like that (but I guess some people are just naturally more touchy).
Let yourself be sad, but try not to hold a grudge.

 

[FFP2]

So... For anyone interested, we broke up. Now, I'm pretty damn upset and more than a little pissed.

I would give you my condolences but to be honest, she didn't seem like she was worth sticking with. You seem like the faithful type so a girl that creeps probably wasn't the match for you anyway.

Now get super drunk and play some Saint's Row 3