Give an object a more appropriate name.

[Something Amyss]

They should rename internet forums as troll-collectors

In that spirit, Youtube should be renamed the Ron and Rand Paul/conspiracy forums.

 

[MangaVally]

Where I'm from a Plastic glass is a Tumbler, Don;t really know why. Cause no-one cares if you drop it I guess.................. Except maybe the person whos drink you just spilled

 

[Subscriptism]

They should have named cricket "****** Paddle"

I like cricket but I still laughed my ass off. Really surprised that you haven't had the mods dog pile you yet.

They should have named cricket "****** Paddle"

"oooo. spank me with your ****** paddle, mistress!!~"

OT: longarm sounds cooler than rifle, it should be the standard term.

so does scattergun compared to shotgun.

also crossbow bolts should just be arrows because we already have normal guns that use bolt action.

Crossbow bolts are about half the length and built differently than arrows though. Besides, I'm fairly confident the crossbow precedes the bolt-action by at least a thousand years in Europe alone.

 

[NearLifeExperience]

Anyone who says handegg...

i get slapped if i do the handegg thing right ?..

Spoiler

...gets their teeth kicked in.

It's a valid point, though. American football isn't football.

 

[MysticSlayer]

Smart Cars should be renamed Tundra Food.

Red Bull should be renamed Original Bull, especially after the new Red Edition. Also, Amp should be renamed Sleepy Sleepy Time.

 

[NearLifeExperience]

I can't think of an alternate name right now, I just started pondering that while I'm bored off my arse in work.

How about.. a drinket!

 

[Lawbringer]

Rather disappointingly I don't have an idea of my own to add, but I just wanted to repeat the genius of this fellow:

Modern games 'controllers' should be renamed 'influencers'... because modern computers and consoles don't always do what you fucking well tell them to...

I especially found this while playing Max Payne 3 where huge chunks are taken up by either 'cutscenes', QTEs or 'press any button to make Max limp/crawl/shimmy in the direction we've already predetermined he will go'. I ha the strong sense my input was merely there to suggest what Max should do next rather than actually have any real control over his actions.

(Not a Max Payne 3 critique, btw, just the most recent example I've played of this modern phenomenon)

 

[excalipoor]

Anyone who says handegg...

i get slapped if i do the handegg thing right ?..

Spoiler

...gets their teeth kicked in.

It's a valid point, though. American football isn't football.

It's not an egg either! This is an egg!

Not even remotely similar, except for the fact that both are not perfectly spherical! Besides, there are alternative meanings to the word football:

There are conflicting explanations of the origin of the word "football". It is widely assumed that the word "football" (or "foot ball") references the action of the foot kicking a ball. There is an alternative explanation, which is that football originally referred to a variety of games in medieval Europe, which were played on foot. There is no conclusive evidence for either explanation.

Also, the ball is about 11-12 inches long, also known as a foot. Bam, lawyered!

 

[NearLifeExperience]

snips

Handegg still makes more sense than football. It's not a true egg, but hey. Close enough .. And about the ball's length now that's just silly. I refuse to acknowledge it as football.

 

[FalloutJack]

They should re-name yacht a "look-how-rich-I-am"

It is spelt 'Rayond Luxary Yach-T', but it is pronounced 'Throat Wobbler Mangrove'.

I vote for bagpipes to be renamed "Worst thing ever invented by a human"
I don't know who you are, guy who plays bag pipes in the morning once a week, but I will hunt you down and I will kill you.

I don't know who you are either, but he must be REALLY BAD, because I'm alright with 'em. Can we amend that to 'Fucker-who-don't-know-how-to-play'?

Music CD- Sound Bagel, DVD- Video Bagel, Video Game Disk- Game Bagel, Data Disk- Knowledge Bagel

Broken disk - "Sorry, I was hungry."

OT: Let's start calling fire by its true name, Jeff.


Additionally, I want to see the most complicated and screwed up little object around and finally have something to call a 'Thingy'.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Would you rather be cool and hip on a jet-ski than rather awkward on a boatercycle?

Can't think of anything at the moment I would rename myself though.

I had a good idea for one... then I read this, and forgot because this was too funny.

 

[barbzilla]

Refrigerator should be renamed Cryostorage. I have never Fridgerated something, nor do I even believe that is a word. So why on earth would I do that twice?

Cyrostorage sounds way more awesome as well. Now I'm going to be reminded of Alien every time I put something in the fridge.

Personally, I'm all for torches to be renamed photon catapults. 'It's too dark? Bring me my photon catapult!'

That is strikingly similar to what my m8 and I call flashlights. We refer to them as photon emitter. I like photon catapult as well though, and I think I may use a variation on that at some point for our tiki torches.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Where I'm from a Plastic glass is a Tumbler, Don;t really know why. Cause no-one cares if you drop it I guess.................. Except maybe the person whos drink you just spilled

We tend to just call 'em "cups" here, although it's rare anyone differentiates when, say, asking for a glass of water. I've always understood a tumbler to be a specific type of cup, which can be made out of either plastic or glass, but maybe it's regional.

OT: Why do they call them "videogames?" It should clearly be "Electronic Experiences."

[footnote]If the trollface doesn't make it clear enough, this idea was something that really got on my nerves when "games as art" was the fad of the moment around here.[/footnote]

 

[Samantha Burt]

As proposed by the great Jasper Carrott, I propose the renaming of "Buildings" to "Builts". Seems much more fitting. Also can we change "necklace" to "neckmetal"?

 

[EeveeElectro]

Hairbrush - backscratcher

Boyfriend - bag holder, hair stroker, human blanket, present buyer. He's like a swiss army knife.

My arm and lap is a scratching post says my cats.

 

[J.j. Trusello]

instead of just calling our moon 'the moon', i think it should be called 'luna'. also 'the sun' should be called 'sol'.

i maean, using 'the moon' and 'the sun' would be just like calling earth 'the planet'.


one other thing, any of you heard of nightcore? the genre of techno music? i for one think the name is INCREDIBLY misleading; doesnt sound like the actually music it describes AT ALL.

You do realize that luna and sol are just the spanish translations of moon and sun right. You're still calling them moon and sun just in a different language.

 

[MXRom]

Why do we call a glass a glass? You say you want a glass of beer, or a glass of Pepsi, or a glass of wine. Glass is a material.

When you use a bowl, you don't say that I'll have a ceramic of ice cream, or a polystyrene of coffee, or I'll put my socks in the polished beech wood.

I can't think of an alternate name right now, I just started pondering that while I'm bored off my arse in work.

Hell, sometimes glasses can be made of plastic. We still call them a plastic glass, despite that being a paradox. (plastic is plastic, it can't be glass, glass is glass, a different substance from plastic)

Probably because asking for a plastic of water just does not roll off the tongue.

 

[Ambitiousmould]

See this thing:

This is called a "ballcock." No, seriously. It's a mechanism for filling the water tank in your toilet. How about we call it something else? Like "water sphere" and "water pump." Anything is better than "ballcock."

Reminds me of "Cock-tail Sausage". How many innuendoes for 'penis' could you possibly need in one place?

On topic: Laptops should be called "Put-it-on-a-book-or-something-so-it-doesn't-overheat-Top".

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Fridges should be "heat excluders", Facebook should be "peoplewordsite", Twitter should be called "surprise retirement waiting to happen", and doors, manholes, windows, trapdoors and skylights should all be portals (peopleportals, sightportals, suddenportals and skyportals respectively).

 

[ToastedCorpser4Lunch]

Printers should be called ink-needers.
Microwaves should be called manual smoke alarms.
Smoke alarms should be called arseholes.(and thrown in the bin.)