Godly Gamers

[L33tsauce_Marty]

Imagine Postal turned christian...oh god. Use the postal system to spread the word of god!

 

[sgtshock]

I skimmed over the first paragraph at first and thought these were actually from a real magazine. My jaw hit the floor.

 

[Wildrow12]

Beautiful and hilarious.
But that webpage you linked has some fucking awful music blaring on it.

Now you see why there is no way Guitar Praise: Solid Rock is better than the original.

It could actually have been good if they used some Christian artists that actually used guitars the way they were meant to be used. Demon Hunter or As I Lay Dying come to mind.

EDIT: There actually are good songs on there. Thousand Foot Krutch and DC Talk are both good artists on there, but those are about the only ones.

Yeah, I think some of these artists think "message" is more important than petty things like "not sounding like shit" or "talent."

The same could be said for games. I once played a conversion of Rome: Total War based on the Maccabean Revolt in the OT and I thought it rocked. You can actually make games based around religious subject matter, and you can make them awesome. The key is (as you said), not focusing on the message at the expense of quality.

 

[SomeBritishDude]

Oh jesus crist (pun intended)

Yeah Darth, the ideas where funny, but that trailer for guitar praise nearly made me wet myself.

 

[Wildrow12]

awww.. I was hoping that www.what-would-jesus-play.com existed.
Someone needs to set that website up.

First entry for the site:

Jesus would play the entire Mother series (Earthbound), and Psychonauts....AT THE SAME TIME.

 

[Grand_Poohbah]

I got a laugh out of this, but I don't think the whole guitar praise is that big of a hilarity. Sure it's a copy, but it's a game for those he prefer christian music to the music of guitar hero.

 

[darthzew]

I got a laugh out of this, but I don't think the whole guitar praise is that big of a hilarity. Sure it's a copy, but it's a game for those he prefer christian music to the music of guitar hero.

I'm actually glad there's something like that. I know a lot of people who are going to happier with that than Guitar Hero. But I find if HILARIOUS that some publications are calling this better than the original.

Also, go to the Guitar Praise site and read the "features" section. It's hilarious seeing what they brag about, especially the stuff that real gamers like us take so for granted.

 

[Hydrus]

Awesome!

Can I add "BibleShock: Welcome to THE Rapture"?

 

[Zephirius]

Beautiful and hilarious.
But that webpage you linked has some fucking awful music blaring on it.

EDIT: The "What Others Are Saying" section reads like it's mocking hardcore Christians.

“Hello, Just wanted to say thank you for making this great game! I have been looking for and alternative to the Guitar Hero. I know my boys would love the game but I wasn't comfortable with the Girls on the game or the music."
But it's just shy of "too crazy to believe."
So awful.

That section almost made me think the site is a hoax. Almost.

 

[RebelRising]

I think we can just call it Halo,

Funny stuff though.

You guys should see some of the parental reviews on their website.

Oh yeah I got another one: The orange cross. Id think of some funny stuff to go with it but im drawing a blank.

They could make Gordon Freeman the Aslan of the gamer generation. The Combine could probably be tyrannical Atheists, and you have to embark on a blood-christened crusade to murder them all in order to ensure peace and love. Also, you would have to wait for an opportune time to marry Alyx, otherwise, reproduction of the species is a no-go. Your enemies would have to rely on science, while you would triumph with your superior faith, even replacing your crowbar with a cross-

Oh, shit. They're already doing that!

 

[darthzew]

Beautiful and hilarious.
But that webpage you linked has some fucking awful music blaring on it.

EDIT: The "What Others Are Saying" section reads like it's mocking hardcore Christians.

?Hello, Just wanted to say thank you for making this great game! I have been looking for and alternative to the Guitar Hero. I know my boys would love the game but I wasn't comfortable with the Girls on the game or the music."
But it's just shy of "too crazy to believe."
So awful.

That section almost made me think the site is a hoax. Almost.

I'm sure the site isn't a hoax*, but I wouldn't be surprised if that comment IS. I bet they get the crap spammed out of them with crap like that.

EDIT*: I've seen Guitar Praise on a friend's shelf.

 

[darthzew]

Beautiful and hilarious.
But that webpage you linked has some fucking awful music blaring on it.

EDIT: The "What Others Are Saying" section reads like it's mocking hardcore Christians.

“Hello, Just wanted to say thank you for making this great game! I have been looking for and alternative to the Guitar Hero. I know my boys would love the game but I wasn't comfortable with the Girls on the game or the music."
But it's just shy of "too crazy to believe."
So awful.

That section almost made me think the site is a hoax. Almost.

I'm sure the site isn't a hoax, but I wouldn't be surprised if that comment IS. I bet they get the crap spammed out of them with crap like that.

But that still means they weren't smart enough to realize it's mocking them. Either way, it reflects poorly on them.

Of course it does, at least in our eyes. But these guys do know their audience. They're not really looking for a quality game, they just want "clean" stuff.

As for them not being smart... sometimes when it comes to "hardcore" Christianity, it gets hard to find the line between what's real and what isn't.

I'm a fairly liberal Christian myself, meaning that I have no problem with cussing or what others believe (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or openly mock/target my beliefs). Just thought I'd clarify that...

 

[Zephirius]

Beautiful and hilarious.
But that webpage you linked has some fucking awful music blaring on it.

EDIT: The "What Others Are Saying" section reads like it's mocking hardcore Christians.

“Hello, Just wanted to say thank you for making this great game! I have been looking for and alternative to the Guitar Hero. I know my boys would love the game but I wasn't comfortable with the Girls on the game or the music."
But it's just shy of "too crazy to believe."
So awful.

That section almost made me think the site is a hoax. Almost.

I'm sure the site isn't a hoax, but I wouldn't be surprised if that comment IS. I bet they get the crap spammed out of them with crap like that.

But that still means they weren't smart enough to realize it's mocking them. Either way, it reflects poorly on them.

Of course it does, at least in our eyes. But these guys do know their audience. They're not really looking for a quality game, they just want "clean" stuff.

As for them not being smart... sometimes when it comes to "hardcore" Christianity, it gets hard to find the line between what's real and what isn't.

I'm a fairly liberal Christian myself, meaning that I have no problem with cussing or what others believe (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or openly mock/target my beliefs). Just thought I'd clarify that...

All the comments are like that though.. Except the one by the "GHIII owner".

 

[NewGeekPhilosopher]

How about Rapala "Fishers of Men" Frenzy, where you try to catch skeptical unbelievers and tell them about Jesus, then release them?

Or Early Christian's Creed, where you go around in an open world Ancient Rome encouraging the early church even when the Romans are persecuting them?

How about Final Ministry, a J-RPG series where androgynous pretty boys spread the word of God while battling biblical monsters?

Or maybe even House Build On The Rock Instead of Sand Band, which is an alternative to Guitar Praise and the Guitar Praise and House Built On The Rock Instead Of Sand Band disciples will argue as much about which game is better as which denomination has their theology wrong?

 

[Scary_Bob]

*Ponders strenuously for far too long*

Noah's Arkanoid!!

Totally worth the mental strain.

 

[Rational-Delirium]

Wow, just wow. I was wondering when a Christian Rock Guitar Hero was going to be available. I'm really impressed by this 'two player mode' and the 'difficulty settings'. A HIGH SCORE LIST!?! Well, just shoot me down and call me Jehosaphat, I recon Ima gonna get me a Guitar Praise!
Are you sure this REALLY exists?

 

[KeyMaster45]

This one would come up sooner or later so just let me get it out of the way.

"World of Preachcraft: The Holy Crusade"
"City of Believers/City of Sinners"
"Evergod"
"God of You"
"Bible:The Lost Gospels"
"Rapture 3: Operation Conversion"

I'll try and think of some more.

EDIT
"Jesus and Christ: Up Your Faith"
"Mass Revival"
"Shadow of the Valley of Death" (actually that one sounds kinda cool)
"Luigi's Cathedral"
"Spore: Intelligent Design Expansion Pack"
"Condemd 2: Purgatory"

 

[TheIr0nMike]

Upcoming games:

Gears of Holy Wars

Plot:
You play Joshua, a crusader and son of the famous holy warrior, Joseph. As Joshua, along with your partner Peter, you must stop the Muslim horde from taking over the Holy Land and destroying Christianity.

Features:
>Though you mainly must try to convert your enemies, there will be times when you must kill them, which is displayed in one of the most realistic ways
>Find various biblical relics to gain rewards
>Multiplayer includes various modes, including Holy Battle, Hold the Place of Worship, and Protect the Religious Leader
>Play Martyr, where play as a crusader fighting off various Muslim soldiers, alone or with a friend. Also, if you complete the game on Jesus mode, you can play as a US soldier fighting terrorist.

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Saints Way

Plot:
You are a newly anointed priest with a gang of Christian religious figures that are losing control over Holywater. You must help the Saints gain back there followers from the Monks (buddhist), the Sheiks (muslims), and the Avatars (hindi), so that you can (spiritually) own Holywater.

Features:
>Be sure to watch out for the atheist, who will try to take God out of your heart if you do anything religious
>Preach in the streets to convert pedestrians, atheist, and other religious gang members with a bible, holy water, crucifix, body and blood of christ, frankincense, myrrh, and various other holy weapons
>Customize every aspect over your being, including yourself, your church, your cars.

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Bible Battle

Plot:
Who will you choose as you fight various people from the Holy Bible?

Features:
>Be or go up against various characters, including Jesus, Joseph, Lot, Abraham, and many more
>Fight through various stages, and come to the reason behind the evil, Lucifer.
>Create your own Biblical character, give him or her a backstory, and a fighting style

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[SoulkeeperX]

Beautiful and hilarious.
But that webpage you linked has some fucking awful music blaring on it.

EDIT: The "What Others Are Saying" section reads like it's mocking hardcore Christians.

“Hello, Just wanted to say thank you for making this great game! I have been looking for and alternative to the Guitar Hero. I know my boys would love the game but I wasn't comfortable with the Girls on the game or the music."
But it's just shy of "too crazy to believe."
So awful.

I did a facepalm when I read that. Seriously, they're not gonna be staring at the chicks if they're trying to pass Psychobilly Freakout. And I doubt that that guy ever heard a single song that's listed on the back of the game, he probably just saw a song was by Megadeth and ignorantly assumed it was gonna be 'satanic' death metal. Plus Harmonix edits out the bad words. People these days...

 

[Corpse XxX]

Lol.. That was some real funny reading..
I love all mockery of any religion out there..

I'm probably going to hell....