Greatest Quotes Ever

[Ruffythepirate]

"I believe that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully" - George Bush jr.

"You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?" - Homer Simpson

 

[Blayze]

"I'm so white I bleed middle class." - Me.

 

[pieeater911]

"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning...smells like...victory."-Apocalypse Now

"Pants on head retarded"-Ben Croshaw

"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love"-Woody Allen

"Have you ever danced with the Devil in pale moonlight?"-The Joker

"Yippie-ki-ay, ************!"-Bruce Willis

"A classic is a book people praise, but don't read."-Mark Twain

"Whats in the satchel?
S'full of money.
Yeah, that'll be the day"- Llewelyn and wife in 'No Country for Old Men'

"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him."-Winston Churchill

 

[Lazzi]

"Effort is pointless once we equate chance into the grand clockwork that is life"

me when speakign to my 10th grade math teacher about probability

 

[9574121795741217]

" 'Hey buddy, my daddy died for that flag.'

'Really? I bought mine. Yeah, they sell them at K-Mart and shit.'

'He died in the Korean War.'

'Wow, what a coincidence. Mine was made in Korea.'

No one - and I repeat, no one - has ever died for a flag. See, a flag... is just a piece of cloth. They may have died for freedom, which is also the freedom to burn the fucking flag, see. That's freedom."
-Bill Hicks

 

[BuckminsterF]

I'd rather be happy than right any day -Slartibartfast

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands-Douglas Adams

 

[Anarchemitis]

This thread wins the record for longest extended period of not falling behind the 5th page of the Off-Topic thread that is and hasn't been pinned.

And now for something completely different.

"Chances are your pants are not a fancy as the pair of very fancy pants that Mr. Fancy pants will wear." -Jonathan Coulton

 

[slowpoke219]

"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity." - Bullet Tooth Tony

 

[Katrex]

Ah here goes.

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically."

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

"Only two things are infinate The universe and human stupidity... I'm not sure about the former" Einstein

"Never interupt your enemy when he's making a mestake" Napoleon

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others that have been tried."winston churchill Also "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."

 

[Jamash]

"Twingy twang twingy twegetable, make your mind rot like a vegetable" - DJ Rubbish

"I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive" - Eric Cartman

"When I was growing up, my family was so poor we couldn't afford to pay attention." - Mr T

"As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal." - Mr T

"Wrex" - Shepard

"Shepard" - Wrex

"Well, ain't you the high tom titty" - Gaturn gro-Gonk

"They're always going don't deal with terrorists, we mustn't deal with terrorists... Lets deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys? 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags." - Frankie Boyle

 

[SilentHunter7]

"No bastard has ever won a war by dying for their country. They won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
-Gen. George S. Patton

 

[Anarchemitis]

"When Force Fails, Cunning Prevails."
-Arsène Lupin.

"B&"
-Joe.

 

[Cagia]

Silence... I kill you.

Frankly, my dear, I don?t give a damn.

Gentlemen! I wash my hands in this weirdness.

 

[CouchCommando]

"I say Smythe there seems to be something wrong with our ships today."
English Admiral to aide on bridge of flagship after watching sucessive destruction of three english heavy cruisers in 25 minutes at batlle of the Jutland sea.

 

[CouchCommando]

"I say Smythe there seems to be something wrong with our ships today."
English Admiral to aide on bridge of flagship after watching sucessive destruction of three english heavy cruisers in 25 minutes at batlle of the Jutland sea.

 

[CouchCommando]

"I say Smythe there seems to be something wrong with our ships today."
English Admiral to aide on bridge of flagship after watching sucessive destruction of three english heavy cruisers in 25 minutes at batlle of the Jutland sea.

 

[Minic]

"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolise nor hate." - Elbert Hubbard

If I had a motto to live by, that would be it. No doubt about it.

 

[ElephantGuts]

Alright this is the perfect place for you people to help me out, cause Ive been freaking out about this.

Theres this favorite quote of mine, "Victory through strength. Strength through honor. Honor through sacrifice." I use it as signatures and on bios for alot of accounts and such on sites, including my bio on my xbox gamertag.

Now, Ive had this quote in my head as long as I can remember, but I cant figure out where I got it from! I try putting it into google but all I get is the places where I typed it in on forums.

So where did it come from? Im not a genius or anything, atleast I dont think, so I doubt I made it up. I suspect I heard it on the History Channel or something, it sounds like some kind of Japanese saying, like in the Bushido or something.

Help? Anyway, thats my favorite quote. Also one I made up, "Never play chicken with incoming artilery."

Too many other ones I like, alot of em have already been listed here.

 

[jdog345]

Farts are like shit without the mess.-George Carlin