Grim Realizations

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Ed130 The Vanguard

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Sep 10, 2008
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I just completed a 11 hour work day, I feel like crap and I have 2 more weeks of this before my jobs settle back to normal.

And I have a "Personal Goal Setting Meeting" with my line manager during this period, who apparently locked himself in a bathroom once.
 

Voodoomancer

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Jun 8, 2009
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The Pinray said:
I realized the other day that I can get through an entire carton of milk in two days. Now my girlfriend is pissed and wants me to cut back. I need my milk but if we keep buying it so often it'll cut into our grocery budget. :(

...I may have just defined "First world problems."
You think that's bad? I can go through an entire carton in one evening.
 

FrostyChick

Little Miss Vampire.
Jul 13, 2010
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That I will never know who was phone?
That I'm hungry but forgot to bring money with me to college?
How about that one time I ran out of ice cream?
Or that there is really nothing grim in my life to be realised?

Oh, and ITT: First world problems.
 

Thistlehart

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Nov 10, 2010
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Borg Wall'o'text inbound! Prepare to be soap-boxed! Resistance is... simple?

My grim realization came some months ago when I realized I was in a dead-end job and wasn't really able to do anything about it, having no prospects. I had plans and ideas for the future, but no way to achieve them. Also I had the same sort of soul-crushing revelation that anything I do is meaningless in the bigger picture. The Universe (and to a lesser extent Humanity) doesn't care about me or what I do, and will never notice my existence nor my passing.

However, after some mulling over I had an epiphany: The Universe (and to a lesser extent Humanity) can go fuck itself.

Two years ago, I was the best agent at my workplace because I had made a decision: They don't pay me enough for how hard I work every day, so I'll work for myself, and they can pay me for my time. It made no difference in my financial situation, but then every supervisor and manager over me started taking notice.

I've recently been promoted to Supervisor, after having been first bumped up to Trainer (they thought I was so awesome they wanted me to impart my badassery to new hires, three of which went on to be promoted quickly and one became the new trainer), then to Dispatcher (which made my Supervisor nervous because she was afraid I'd take her job), and my Manager is now wanting me to come along to meetings with clients.

I took that resolve and applied it to the rest of my life.

I'm currently relearning math from the ground up (it was always the subject that kicked my ass in school) since I'm aiming to become first an electrician, then an electrical engineer. During my retirement I'll be doing two things: being a foster parent and doing my best to give those kids a good home, and working on electrical experimentation to try to sort out a few ideas I have (make some science fiction reality).

When I am lying on my deathbed, I hope to be surrounded by a family I built out of abandoned souls, having given society technology only dreamt of. The sweetest part will be that I will have done this not for the good of anyone, but for my own personal satisfaction; because I felt they were jobs that needed doing, were worth doing, and I refused to do anything less than stellar.

I hope to die with that pride. Nevermind that the Universe (and to a lesser extent, humanity) won't care. I did, and that will be all that matters.
 

TWRule

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Dec 3, 2010
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Thistlehart said:
When I am lying on my deathbed, I hope to be surrounded by a family I built out of abandoned souls...The sweetest part will be that I will have done this not for the good of anyone, but for my own personal satisfaction...
This part about a family sounds noble at least, but I am curious how you expect to do that when admittedly living entirely out of self-interest?
 

Thistlehart

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TWRule said:
Thistlehart said:
When I am lying on my deathbed, I hope to be surrounded by a family I built out of abandoned souls...The sweetest part will be that I will have done this not for the good of anyone, but for my own personal satisfaction...
This part about a family sounds noble at least, but I am curious how you expect to do that when admittedly living entirely out of self-interest?
You say self-interest like it is a bad thing, but that is an excellent question.

Here is your answer.

Because that is what I want to do, and I will do it to the best of my abilities. If my best is not enough, I will endeavour to do better.

All that we do, we do because we choose. There is no duty, there is no task, there is no choice we make that is something we must do. It is all of our own volition.

We all live only for ourselves. Some of us are just better at lying to ourselves about it.

Someone volunteers at a soup-kitchen for homeless youth? They don't do that for the youth. They do that because they want to. They want the satisfaction of knowing that they're making a difference in someone's life in some small way. Please understand, that this may sound negative, but think of it like this...

"All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany's Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!" --Sir Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

It serves me to serve others. It serves my interests to build a better world. I will make it better, because it is mine.
 

JCBFGD

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Jul 10, 2011
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TWRule said:
JCBFGD said:
"Scientistic delusion"? I think that's kind of an oxymoron, since science actually has evidence behind it, whereas delusions are caused by mental instability. So no, that doesn't make any sense or help at all. What I said will, according to myriad scientists and their myriad evidence, eventually and inevitably happen.
It didn't make sense because you misunderstood me :p. I said "scientistic" - referring to the perspective that places science on a pedestal as that which hands down the Truth and will deliver humanity to salvation - not scientific. The delusion is taking such things for granted (not in the psychological sense).
Yeah, I'm not really "worshipping" science or putting it on a pedestal, or whatever. Although I do concede that, in a way, science will "deliver us to the Truth" in that science's main purpose is to answer questions about our world and universe using research, evidence, and fact. Here, though, I'm merely accepting fact as fact; the facts being that the memory of you will fade, the human race will die out, and the universe will end.
 

TWRule

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JCBFGD said:
Yeah, I'm not really "worshipping" science or putting it on a pedestal, or whatever. Although I do concede that, in a way, science will "deliver us to the Truth" in that science's main purpose is to answer questions about our world and universe using research, evidence, and fact. Here, though, I'm merely accepting fact as fact; the facts being that the memory of you will fade, the human race will die out, and the universe will end.
I'm not saying you do worship science but am wondering how you came upon these 'facts' then if not through some acceptance of science's story for our future. A scientific fact only makes sense within the context of the methodology of science. However, it is not by any means the only possible method to select when examining the human condition. So what I've been trying to tell you is that you should try to set aside your preconceived notions of what the future of humanity must be and start exploring other methods that might lead to more tractable dilemmas, start thinking about what the future of humanity *should* be.
 

TWRule

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Thistlehart said:
Here is your answer.

Because that is what I want to do, and I will do it to the best of my abilities. If my best is not enough, I will endeavour to do better.

All that we do, we do because we choose. There is no duty, there is no task, there is no choice we make that is something we must do. It is all of our own volition.

We all live only for ourselves.
I understand your view, but I don't believe you adequately addressed my question - maybe I should rephrase it.

Creating and maintaining a true family, based on my understanding at least, seems to be something that one can't will others to participate in regardless of the effort put forth, in the first place, nor could one consistently maintain pure self-interest insofar as you were a true family, I'd say. This may not be because of some self-sacrificial altruism (certainly everyone is gaining some benefit from being part of this family I would hope), but because there is something shared between the family that didn't begin in the possession of any of its individual members. In other words, that which founds familial bonds. If a member begins to turn inward to their own world and concerns, they will inevitably turn away from/lose sight of the common concerns existing between the family. It sounds to me like the family you describe is more like a utilitarian organization, where no one has any genuine ties/relationships to each other beyond group gains, than a family. I think its pretty important to make this distinction.

So my question was really - how do expect to form and maintain genuine family ties without ever genuinely sharing the concerns of others?
 

Dalek Caan

Pro-Dalek, Anti-You
Feb 12, 2011
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Pouring out a bowl of cereal and then find out there is no milk is traumatizing. It happened last week and I am still getting over it.
 

JCBFGD

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Jul 10, 2011
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TWRule said:
JCBFGD said:
Yeah, I'm not really "worshipping" science or putting it on a pedestal, or whatever. Although I do concede that, in a way, science will "deliver us to the Truth" in that science's main purpose is to answer questions about our world and universe using research, evidence, and fact. Here, though, I'm merely accepting fact as fact; the facts being that the memory of you will fade, the human race will die out, and the universe will end.
I'm not saying you do worship science but am wondering how you came upon these 'facts' then if not through some acceptance of science's story for our future. A scientific fact only makes sense within the context of the methodology of science. However, it is not by any means the only possible method to select when examining the human condition. So what I've been trying to tell you is that you should try to set aside your preconceived notions of what the future of humanity must be and start exploring other methods that might lead to more tractable dilemmas, start thinking about what the future of humanity *should* be.
M'afraid I'm gonna have to reply with

Okay, you're right, the ultimate end of the universe isn't currently known. It will most likely end, though. And the chances of humanity being somehow wiped out of the universe is pretty high also. It's also nearly impossible for you to be remembered for the entire span of the human race.

Now what sort of other methodology besides science is there? Science is the only thing which actually provides answers with evidence; it makes claims and supports them. You can't seriously be asking me to have a little "faith," can you? Faith is accepting what you're told, without verification, because you lack the will to do anything else. Unless you have a good reason to ignore science in this case, I'm afraid I can't ignore research and mathematics.

And how, exactly, "should" the human race be? There's no point to existence. We have no given purpose. Life is what we make of it. You can give yourself a purpose, sure, but there's been no one to give humanity a purpose; no human can really do that. And anyone who "gives" us a purpose is just giving us a suggestion for our purpose, or, more specifically, their purpose, not the purpose.
 

TWRule

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JCBFGD said:
Okay, you're right, the ultimate end of the universe isn't currently known. It will most likely end, though. And the chances of humanity being somehow wiped out of the universe is pretty high also. It's also nearly impossible for you to be remembered for the entire span of the human race.
How can we speak of likelihood here? As if one had a statistical sampling of other universes that did or didn't end prior to this one? I will concede that if humanity is wiped out, the universe would end, since there'd be no one to perceive it's existence...and humanity being wiped out might be a real threat, though I'd be less worried about universal natural forces doing that than ourselves by degrading into something less than human...

As for being remembered, sure - but any memory is a reinterpretation of the thing being remembered anyway, and I wouldn't say that someone remembering you is what's of most importance on the eternal timescale.

Now what sort of other methodology besides science is there? Science is the only thing which actually provides answers with evidence; it makes claims and supports them. You can't seriously be asking me to have a little "faith," can you? Faith is accepting what you're told, without verification, because you lack the will to do anything else. Unless you have a good reason to ignore science in this case, I'm afraid I can't ignore research and mathematics.
I'm not asking you to have faith, I'm pointing out that you already have it in science (I'm not defining faith like you are obviously). Science has certain criteria for what is acceptable in its methods - the things you mentioned (empirical evidence, etc.). However, the basis of the method can't be validated by its own criteria; it has to be founded on certain presuppositions about the world, how much of the world humans have direct access to, etc. Essentially, those presuppositions which found science have to be taken on a form of faith, and that's true for any method you choose. I'm not asking you to ignore science, but I am saying that you shouldn't take it as the last word without exploring other options (that would be closer to the faith in the sense you defined, eh?).

Off the top of my head, other methods already in existence would be phenomenological methods, hermeneutics, deconstructionist methods (please google these if you're curious because I'd go over a max character limit explaining them - they are usually grouped under the umbrella of philosophy), etc. However, there's no reason we should limit ourselves to the methods already made for us - we can create novel ones, so long as they are consistent and actionable. Which one is the best we'll have to decide among ourselves (by ourselves I mean humanity).

And how, exactly, "should" the human race be? There's no point to existence. We have no given purpose. Life is what we make of it. You can give yourself a purpose, sure, but there's been no one to give humanity a purpose; no human can really do that. And anyone who "gives" us a purpose is just giving us a suggestion for our purpose, or, more specifically, their purpose, not the purpose.
I agree with all of that, which is exactly why I would not suggest that any *single* human try to provide us with that purpose, but rather that it must be a collective endeavor. If humanity agrees on a purpose, it will become the purpose. It need not be handed down by some external power to become valid for the whole of humanity.
 

x EvilErmine x

Cake or death?!
Apr 5, 2010
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EcoEclipse said:
The grimmest realization I will ever have--and continue to have inconsistently--is the realization that someday I will die, and I don't know what will happen. It's absolutely harrowing and disquieting. Particularly the possibility of nonexistence.

When I tell you that I would rather burn in hell for eternity than stop existing, I mean it. To me, anything is better than nonexistence.
Well think of it this way...if there is no such thing as an afterlife and non-existence is what happens when you die then you'll never know about it.
 

Thistlehart

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Nov 10, 2010
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TWRule said:
So my question was really - how do [you] expect to form and maintain genuine family ties without ever genuinely sharing the concerns of others?
But that's exactly what I was talking about. You did read the Pratchett quote, right? It's in there, your answer. Look for it.

I'll try to put a little of it here, but please after reading this, go back and read over the quote a few times and try to understand what it's saying.

There is something special that is created within a family that no one member possesses. A connection between its members that makes them one.
You steal from my daughter, you steal from me. I'll take back what is hers.
You strike my brother, you strike me. I'll fight you in his place.
You insult my husband, you insult me. I'll uphold his good name.

You attack me, I stab at thee.

Each member of the family claims the rest as theirs. That makes them part of each other. What I would call love. They then seek the best for theirs.

What happens when you extend the definition of self in this way? You begin to include more than simply your wants.

Give the quote another go. See if you can outline it better than I can. I don't know that I'm doing it justice.

My hat's off to you if you can.
 

Cpu46

Gloria ex machina
Sep 21, 2009
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Realizing that the paper you failed to do was not worth a simple 10 points like the grade sheet said but was weighted to 15% of the final class grade. Then getting a shit score in the class.
 

Comando96

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May 26, 2009
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That I'm suicidal depressed.

This realisation happened when I was crying myself to sleep thinking about how to kill myself quickly and painlessly as I hated life.

I still am depressed to the same extent but am more frightened of death than I am of life so for now I'll keep going... when human civilization is starting to fail us and we're starting to starve then I'll find the nearest gun/police check point, and get myself killed.

Alternatively if we decide to cull the human population in order to keep civilization alive then I'll volinteer as that's a sign the going's good has gone forever.
 

Reaper69lol

Disciple of The Gravity cat
Apr 16, 2010
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Worst grim realization for me is realising how much money ive spent on tf2. Specifically how much money ive spent on keys. Oh and how much time ive spent playing tf2.
 

TWRule

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Dec 3, 2010
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Thistlehart said:
TWRule said:
So my question was really - how do [you] expect to form and maintain genuine family ties without ever genuinely sharing the concerns of others?
But that's exactly what I was talking about. You did read the Pratchett quote, right? It's in there, your answer. Look for it.

I'll try to put a little of it here, but please after reading this, go back and read over the quote a few times and try to understand what it's saying.

There is something special that is created within a family that no one member possesses. A connection between its members that makes them one.
You steal from my daughter, you steal from me. I'll take back what is hers.
You strike my brother, you strike me. I'll fight you in his place.
You insult my husband, you insult me. I'll uphold his good name.

You attack me, I stab at thee.

Each member of the family claims the rest as theirs. That makes them part of each other. What I would call love. They then seek the best for theirs.

What happens when you extend the definition of self in this way? You begin to include more than simply your wants.

Give the quote another go. See if you can outline it better than I can. I don't know that I'm doing it justice.

My hat's off to you if you can.
I've already read and understood the quote (as best as I can without further context), and I'd say your grasp of it is decent enough. However, I'll have to disagree on the nature of the bond shared by family members. Members of a true family don't just protect each others's interests (regardless of what they may be) by taking personal insult at every external transgression (much in the same way a nation might send out the military to protect its citizens or soldiers, no matter how divided the nation is in concerns/interests). Instead, they keep the common interests that are shared a communal fashion where that which is shared stands on its own and all members of the family either share or turn away from (and thus leave the family) those shared concerns. They try their best to keep each other in the fold, of course, but they may morally chastise one another for going astray.

For example, a devout Christian family, united by their faith, might actually chastise one member for defending another with violence instead of turning the other cheek. In this case, what's at stake isn't anyone's ego, but the shared values (Christian religious salvation).

So your family may end up being galvanized by taking personal offense to each threat to a family member (more like a mob clan), but it won't be a true family unless they also have those shared values among themselves. It's within that internal moral/ethical commitment - rather than the commitment to respond to external threats - that love resides, I'd say.
 

Thistlehart

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TWRule said:
I've already read and understood the quote (as best as I can without further context), and I'd say your grasp of it is decent enough. However, I'll have to disagree on the nature of the bond shared by family members. Members of a true family don't just protect each others's interests (regardless of what they may be) by taking personal insult at every external transgression (much in the same way a nation might send out the military to protect its citizens or soldiers, no matter how divided the nation is in concerns/interests).
Those were basic examples. They were not to be taken at face value, but to serve as simple concepts to be extrapolated from.

Instead, they keep the common interests that are shared a communal fashion where that which is shared stands on its own and all members of the family either share or turn away from (and thus leave the family) those shared concerns. They try their best to keep each other in the fold, of course, but they may morally chastise one another for going astray.
You repeat, in different words, most of the point of the Pratchett quote. Well done! In essence, I think, it is meant to convey one taking on the responsibilty of seeing to others' wellbeing by claiming them as one's own and making them part of one's self.

For example, a devout Christian family, united by their faith, might actually chastise one member for defending another with violence instead of turning the other cheek. In this case, what's at stake isn't anyone's ego, but the shared values (Christian religious salvation).
And how is this not an action based in self-interest? They chastise themselves for not properly upholding their moral code. There is disappointment and embarassment among the family that one of theirs did not do what they thought was the proper action, fearing what it could mean for them as well as the family member who was violent. Self-interest is not always based in survival.

So your family may end up being galvanized by taking personal offense to each threat to a family member (more like a mob clan), but it won't be a true family unless they also have those shared values among themselves.
As I said before, those were basic examples meant to be extrapolated.

It's within that internal moral/ethical commitment - rather than the commitment to respond to external threats - that love resides, I'd say.
And again you and I are saying the same thing, but in different ways. I would consider my take a little more honest concerning human nature, but I digress.

Allow me to clear the air here, as I think you are operating under a misconception. Please allow me to correct it: Selfish =/= bad

For the sake of example, let us assume there are two kinds of selfish actions. For simplicity's sake, I'll call them Good selfish and Bad selfish.

A Good selfish action is an action that will benefit more than oneself, but one sees will result in an end benefit to oneself. For example: volunteering at a soup kitchen for homeless youth. That is the donation of a person's valuable seconds, minutes, and even hours of their life to help people that may not even be grateful. However, this will result in feelings of satisfaction at having done the "right thing" within said person's moral code. The end result is as beneficial to the person performing the act as to those being served by it.

A Bad selfish action is an action that fits with what you're thinking. An action that is only good for a single person (or group) and detrimental to all others. For example: Starting a war to keep the price of oil high.

While it is highly debatable since the concept of truth is ultimately subjective, here is a truth I have found. In keeping with the theme of the thread, it too was a rather grim realization...

There is no such thing as altruism. It is a lie. A good lie, and a useful one at that, but a lie nonetheless. No one does anything unless it benefits themselves in some way (this does not mean that what is done is always to one's sole benefit). Many people don't realize they do this, because they accept the lie, and that's fine. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

To quote the great Robert A. Heinlein, "Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception; the root of all evil."

One can be kind, generous, and even a martyr, and it is still serving their interest to be so, because that is what they want to be. That is Good selfishness. The selfishness that brings in others and makes families and communities.