Guys: What do you think it means to be a man?

[Brawndo]

I saw this interesting documentary called An Emasculating Truth that began with a statistic from a 20-year medical study: testosterone has declined in the male population at rate of 1.2% since 1987, with a total drop of over 20%. No cause was discovered, but everything from estrogen in drinking water to BPAs in plastics is a suspect. The documentary then went on to ask a bunch of sociologists, writers, doctors, and regular people what it means to be a man in today's day and age.

Documentary: http://www.anemasculatingtruth.com/index.html
Study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17062768?dopt=AbstractPlus


So what do you think it means to be a man today? Do you feel manly, whatever that means in 2011? Technology and equal rights means that women can do almost any job that a man can. Men now make up 30% of all cosmetic surgeries, from nose jobs to calf implants. Aggression and competitiveness in young boys is discouraged or even demonized by schools and parents. The sale of male grooming products has increased 25% over the past decade. Are we moving to some kind of androgynous mono-gender, or are people blowing things out of proportion?

 

[Iammatt]

If you asked me what I thought it meant to be a man, I would say you need to have intelligence, experience, respect, and not be afraid to get your hands dirty, to be a man. That's just my opinion.

However most males you ask in today's society will probably tell you to be a man means you have to work out, like sports, and like cars.

 

[TeeBs]

All I have to say, Fuck gender roles.

To be 100% honest being a good guy is great, if that falls into your definition of "Masculine" thats great, but im glad the aggressiveness of males is lowering. Call me a weak nerd but we don't need masculinity in todays society.

 

[Liudeius]

It means you have a y-chromosome.
Nothing else.
And no, transvestites aren't men/not men, they are transvestites. (to clarify, I mean woman>"man" transvestites are not true men and man>"woman" transvestites are not true women.)

 

[electric_warrior]

You must have rugged facial hair and smell of rich mahogany, and be able to birth a calf as well as write a sonnet.

 

[Brawndo]

All I have to say, Fuck gender roles.

To be 100% honest being a good guy is great, if that falls into your definition of "Masculine" thats great, but im glad the aggressiveness of males is lowering. Call me a weak nerd but we don't need masculinity in todays society.

See I have a problem with people downplaying masculinity just because we don't need to hunt mammoths for food anymore. I feel there are plenty of masculine traits that are still valuable to our species. And masculinity does necessarily equate to the male gender; women can be masculine too.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Cock and Balls my friend...

That is all.

 

[AwkwardTurtle]

I really don't like this question. I feel that by giving an answer it inherently limits what men are and aren't allowed to do.

I myself have long since thrown the whole idea of masculinity out the window when it comes to the so called societal norm of the definition. If you really want to be man, it means to do anything and everything you want to/love to do (with the exception of things against the law obviously, I'm not encouraging mass murdering people ^^').

In my own personal opinion: To truly be a man is to stop thinking about what you 'need' to do in order to be a man.

I think a better thing to spend time thinking about is:
As a man what are the things I feel I can't do because it isn't 'masculine' enough?
After thinking about that go ahead and do those things. Get the most out of life. Don't let a ridiculous idea like "What it means to be a man" stop you.

An example of this is the growing trend of older gentlemen finding enjoyment in My Little Pony. I wonder if any of them are ashamed of liking it simply because it doesn't seem 'masculine' enough. It would be sad if they hid it and missed out on potential friends they could make a connection with through the show.

So long story short. I think that the definition is irrelevant if a person wants to live a truly whole and complete life.

Here's a fact I'd like to share with the world despite it probably not being considered 'masculine'. I bought the DS game Style Boutique and absolutely loved every minute I played it. It was by far one of the best and most addicting games I had ever bought for my DS and I still play it today.

 

[Rylot]

I'm not too tied into gender roles but for me with my current relationship with my cohabiting girlfriend it means being able to fix things around the apartment, help her make the bed, do the dishes every now and then, cook, stand America's Got Talent one night a week, emotionally support her when she needs it and most importantly make her laugh.

To go off on a tangent, I've always hated the movie/book 'Fight Club'. I always felt that the equating of masculinity with punching random people was pure unadulterated stupidity. For me a man is someone that others can rely on from anything from a willing ear to a hand to help move. *steps off of soap box*

OT: is captcha getting more and more incomprehensible to anyone else?

PS: That said, I'm still not gonna wear a pink shirt for her.

 

[octafish]

Every time this sort of topic pops up, and it does from time to time, I feel the need to post this...

Spoiler

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

[Reallynojustno]

I believe that being a man(or woman) means that you can form your own opinions and not be limited by a gender role or stereotype, and that if you don't agree with an idea or gender role you are not afraid to challenge it and mold it into what you think it should be.

 

[Drummie666]

Male genitals.
/thread

Details to keep this from being a low content post:
Gender roles seem pointless to me, all they do is limit what one can do by installing a fear of stepping outside of social norms in their minds.

 

[Dags90]

Cock and Balls my friend...

That is all.

This, lots of this. Altogether at once.

Perhaps it's a sampling error. There's fairly significant variation in the amount of testosterone even in healthy men.

Did you know that healthy black men have over 10% higher testosterone after lifestyle factors have been accounted for?[footnote]http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3455741[/footnote]

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa......estrogen is in the water now....damn you science, posh jerk always thinking he's cool, making silly t-shirts and putting "science" in anything he finds witty.....sorry i lost my train of thought. *reads title* OH YES! A lot of things...mainly working hard, kickin' ass, driving fast cars, and our reproductive organs.

 

[AquaAscension]

Every time this sort of topic pops up, and it does from time to time, I feel the need to post this...

Spoiler

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

So many unwinnable dichotomies. Try this instead:

Spoiler: Double Edged Sword by Tui Scanlan

Contrary to popular belief, It is not EASY to be a man
the requirements are endless
But for the sake of time, I'll cover the essential lessons we're taught from birth

1) You shall not
and I mean
All encompassing
Legally Binding
Federally Mandated Standards type
SHALL NOT
Be Weak
This is not negotiable

2) The sins of the Father pass to the Son
You will always remind someone of someone else's
Failings and Indiscretions
They will take it out on you
Deal with it

3) Regardless of the burden you bear
the world is running short on stock of shoulders to cry on
If Atlas ain't bitchin, then you've got no excuse
Grit your teeth grin and bear it

4) You are paid more than a woman
Because you're expected to
You're only as good as
your word
your genetalia
and your Bank Account

Rosetta Stone
And Viagra are available
But cash is hard to fake
besides
You still have to buy the first two

So make bread, cheddar, and lettuce
or be worthless

5) In a time of crisis,
Women and Children are rescued first
there are futures and life bearers at stake
you either had your chance to help make the next generation
or you weren't worth breeding with in the first place

So if the ship is sinking
you're expected to be your own Promiscuous Jesus
And save your fucking self

But if you don't save anyone else, you're a coward
6) You don't want your homophobic friends labeling you gay,
so you best be good with the ladies
If you're shitty at seeing titties, you're a loser
If you're too good, you're a pig
7) Be dapper
But if you're too concerned with your looks, you're a pretty boy
If you aren't concerned enough, you're a troll

8) If your father never comes 'round
or passes before your passage into adulthood,
You become the Man of the house
Nevermind that you haven't survived puberty yet,
We're all waitin on you kid, hurry up

9) Sacrifice to get ahead, 'cause if you sleep,
you're dead
You're a single ant mingling with mindless minions a million strong
Do not get left behind or trampled underfoot
They will eat you

10) In confrontation, defeat is not an option
If you never back down, you're a bully
if you always back down, you're a pussy

Don't expect any remorse, none of us got it
refer to #1

11) Emotions are too expensive for you
Time is money
and the clock is ticking
you eat, sleep, fuck, and hopefully die for a worthy cause
And if you're lucky,
you'll get to squeeze in some drunken mischief

12) Labours of Heracles I'd rather endure than this Horseshit
We've been dealt a crap hand from a deck our forefathers stacked against us
it's not fair
but neither is life so at least they didn't lie to us
I'm tired
of living up to someone else's standards
I'm tired
of being held to tenets as old as Rome
If you've Exhausted
as many options as I have, then I offer this solution
If Women can make a revolution
to reclaim their identity BEYOND feeling
Then we must make one to move back toward it

I realize that most men cannot afford the luxury
of using a pen as an outlet to plug into
So allow me to be of assistance
Let us re-write the list to which we are enlisted

1) Strong hearts are defined by more than a low BPM rate
and Stalwart friends are worth more than gold
these are called Exercises in Love
Be Not Afraid


2) Water rends cracks and valleys through Granite
And rusts Steel into nothingness
Your tears are stronger than muscles
it's a fact

3) You can fuck as often as you like
But a Soulmate
is a wish too scary to whisper for fear of jinxing it

So proclaim it to the world that you may make it so
Relationships take work because they're worth it
dive into Affection with Kamikaze feverance
you don't have long
so make it count

4) There is a world of warmth and emotion awaiting us all
If only we had the courage to grasp it
it is time to evolve
And as it is with everything else,
No one's gonna do it for us
We have to do it for ourselves
Because it's always Simple
And never Easy

to be a Man.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

My bet would be that the decrease in testosterone might have a high correlation with the obesity epidemic. I've heard people cite studies before (though admittedly, never read them myself) stating that there is a correlation between how confident someone is, and how much testosterone they have. And there aren't a lot of things that kill your confidence quite like being out of shape. For better or worse, the societal demand to be attractive and in shape is extremely prevalent.

Not only that, who the hell knows what other ways being seriously out of shape might throw off your body's hormonal balance. And exercising has also been shown to release a number of compounds into the body, whether or not testosterone is one of them, I wouldn't know, but since the chemicals do have a neurological effect which actually makes people happier, they could affect the psyche, and by extension the body's hormonal balance.

OT: What it means to be a man, however, is kind of a ridiculous question in that it just has too many answers. There are, of course, the purely scientific ones, but I don't get the feeling that that's what your asking for. And as for what makes a man, from a societal perspective, there are just too many opinions. To be blunt though, I don't think that what makes a man is even a question of much importance anymore. A better question, "What makes a human?"

 

[SilentCom]

To me, a man is defined by his maturity and willingness to take on responsibility. This can also be applied to women so I will not say that maturity and responsibility are hallmarks of masculinity but rather the indication of an adult.

Masculinity is a little different because it conforms to gender roles and is often seen as testosterone driven.

 

[LikeDustInTheWind]

Having a penis and male chromosomes make you a man.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

If you asked me what I thought it meant to be a man, I would say you need to have intelligence, experience, respect, and not be afraid to get your hands dirty, to be a man. That's just my opinion.

/thread

This is too similar to what I was going to say.