Has anyone here ever been scared of a family member?

[ProtoChimp]

This goes beyond sibling rivalry and delves into genuine fear. My brother has spent his entire life being selfish and taking what he wants from me and my mother, and while he does work and he certainly had a hard time trying to raise me since our father left (especially considering he left when my brother was 13) he takes things way way too far. It's gotten to a point that we pretty much just let him get away with a lot of things because it feels like it makes our lives easier. I know it seems kind of cowardly but let me put it this way, he is a very violent, very strong man. And he is incredibly loud and he has this kind of presence that when arguing he can shut you down and make you feel like you're the bad guy. I feel like a horrible person for even making this thread but I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this. It's gotten fucking ridiculous, even small things like today he put my xbox in his room but I know that if I told him he should at least ask he will do something, I'm not sure what but he has a really short temper. Hell he threw out my D&D character sheet because he says I should grow up and be like him, and when I argued with him he started guilt tripping me over all the work he does, and then he started smashing bottles. In fact the only reason I'm doing this thread is because this one got me thinking:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.394056-Have-you-ever-thought-about-suicide?page=1

Of all the shit that people have done to make me want to kill myself he is the worst one. I have horrible dreams of him physically hurting me or my mum, and he drinks all the time so I don't know what he's capable of. Jesus I feel like an attention seeker but I still feel the need to post this. Yeah so my question is what's in the title, anyone had a fear of a sibling or someone who should be close to you?

 

[ImBigBob]

Never been scared by a family member, though a redneck uncle of mine did creep me out when he was showing off the new knife he just bought.

"Family has to stick together" is one of those lessons that I think is utter crap. You can't help who you're related to, and if they're damaging to you, then there's no reason to stick around them.

Captcha: fire + brim stone

 

[Casual Shinji]

I remember having a fear of my older brother when I was a little kid. He was already out of high school when I was still in elementary school, so he was already imposing by way of age. He never physically hurt or threatened me or anyone else in the family, but he could be a real asshole, throwing his weight around and whatnot. I get along with him fine now though.

As for your situation, you should really talk to your mother or someone else about this. I don't know the dynamics of your family, but if you're genuinely terrified he's going to physically hurt you and/or your mother then you need to find some help from the outside. Move out if there's no other solution.

 

[EeveeElectro]

My older brother is also quite scary but I'm not scared of him as such. He's never directed his anger towards me, but I've seen what he's capable of so I am quite worried sometimes. I thought he was gonna put his foot through a car windscreen t'other day in the supermarket car park because he was going crazy at this car that kept honking at me.

I had an elderly great auntie that was about 4'11 and rake thin but you would not pick a fight with her and live to tell the tale. Apparently my great grandma was the same. Seems to be a theme in my family...

 

[ZehMadScientist]

One of my uncles, he is a violent drunk and he drank a LOT! He never hurt me (He hit his wife and son) and he took me to see movies and stuff, I loved him, but he scared me when I saw him drunk and yelling (The few times that I did see it)

I don't know what he is up to now...

Yes, I have a very similar uncle.

Though he didn't go as far to hit his wife and children, I can't remember the last time I saw him sober. He´d drink his Bacardi Cola with a 9:1 ratio, and chug it down like water. We call it cola light.
In fact, he screwed up big time by exposing his children to danger due to his drinking not too long ago, and is being forced into a divorce now. He went bonkers and wanted to slam another (drunk) uncle of mine with a table. That was the first time I was genuinely scared of him, in all the years I've known him for. The whole family is in shambles now.

Also, OP, if the situation is really that bad, talk to someone about it. Start with your mum, and try to work something out. If you draw blanks there, try to consult someone you trust. Home should be a place where you can relax and retreat to, to feel safe. Not to live in fear.

Captcha: Pew Pew. Pew Pew.

No Captcha, that is never the answer.

 

[soren7550]

My mother, my father, both of my older brothers usually, but oddly enough, I don't fear my younger brother, even though he tried to kill me on three separate occasions.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

OP, that sounds like a dangerously abusive situation, and you and your mom need to get out of there. Family or not, you sound like you have good reason to be afraid that your brother will hurt you. Do not stick around just because he intimidates you, and if it comes down to it, don't be afraid to call the cops on him.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Throughout my life I've been scared of each of my members of my immediate family. I was never the strongest or most extroverted person out there so my little brother wound up being the controlling party of the sibling power structure, if you could call it that. My dad was a total hardass when I was a small child. You do something wrong, you get a few belt marks on your ass. My mom, while nicer, was not always present (she worked third shift when I was still toddling around) and as I got older it was clear she wanted two sons.

Things changed somewhat between each of them and myself when it was discovered that I had severe Aspergers: my dad lightened up on the punishments a tad (not enough to count though). My mom started being there more, and my brother became more... dominant, I guess.

Unfortunately I had to develop a somewhat complex set of skills to simply get along with them: I had to develop the skills of acting, lying, sleuthing, and sneaking to avoid altercations with them. I wasn't always successful: I got into many fights. I wasn't the winner of many of them.

Things only got worse in 2007. We'd already been through trying times at that point, but what served as a catalyst for a new kind of hell was when my last grandparent died. My mom was broken, and she turned to the liquor for comfort. She never stopped. Suddenly climate of home turned from tense to an all-out warzone. Everyone fought with each other, either physically or verbally. Some of my most visible scars come from a brawl with my brother that wound up putting holes in walls and shattering mirrors. We were ready to kill one another but my dad beat us both into submission to prevent that. It got to a point where the nicest thing any of us can say to one-another is "fuck you".

Afraid? No, petrified is more like it.

 

[FalloutJack]

No, actually. I AM the scary one...

 

[BlueberryMUNCH]

Okay...I was gonna say 'oh yeah I'm scared of my auntie'...but after reading some of these posts...I guess I'm not -really- scared of her haha.
I dunno, she's just...kinda scary. Not violent or horrible or whatever. I dunno, she's intimidating I guess.
...does that count? Maybe it still counts xD.

Sorry to hear about all of these family problems people have here. I genuinely wish you all the best.

 

[DugMachine]

Damn OP that sounds awful. You should try and get other family members involved or if he starts actually hitting you just call the police.

As for me.. uh well I was intimidated by my uncle and father for the longest time even though they never physically threatened my well being so idk. When I got older and as I got stronger and taller than the both of them the intimidation went away.

Actually I think I'm the 'scary' one in my family now. Don't know why seeing as I'm the least violent or intimidating person ever but I guess it's because i'm tall, have a gigantic beard with tattoos and I smoke a lot. Things I used to find intimidating when I was younger.

 

[Dags90]

Yeah, my mother and brother. There have been times where I've felt like calling the police on both.

 

[Elgnirp100]

My older brother by two and a half years is the only person who I am afraid of. This isn't just me trying to look badass on the internet, I am genuinely afraid of nobody except him. Why? He is the only person I know who is not only willing, but able to beat the everloving crap out of me. Anyone else I can defend myself against but he would destroy me if it came to a fight.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

Well one of my mother's old boy friends (they were together for 6 days) was a previously-convicted killer who had what was pretty much a machete hid in our house. He's hit me if I was being "wide". Just a slap on the head but still.

The police turned up at the door once and asked me to let them in as the man and my mother wouldn't, I did so (I have a very high respect for the police) and they dragged the guy away to jail on a charge of attemted murder and I was fucking terrified for weeks that this big, hulking brute of a man would kill me in revenge for 'giving him up'. I still sometimes get worried about it.

My mother was committed to a mental hospital shortly after that when her friend took me and my brother out of the house cuz my mum was depressed, screaming and brandishing a knife...

Okay, so I guess I was scared of my mum on occasion...

 

[MiriaJiyuu]

One of my distant relatives, he's creepy.

Really though? My Mom when she puts 3/4 of a pound of bacon on two wraps.

 

[EHKOS]

I'm intimidated by my father, but only because he's strong and lightning fast. There's no way I could take him out without what I am now.

 

[Lunar Shadow]

Mt father on one occassion. Not a general fear, just small moment of fear when I forgot to say something when coming into his apartment at 3 in the morning. Got a gun in my face cause he thought I was an intruder. Btw, a .45 colt looks awfully big when it is in your face.

 

[Silvianoshei]

Nope. Nobody drinks in my family, and while my dad has a bit of a temper, it's never gotten so bad. When he yelled at me, I'd likely have done something really stupid. He stopped yelling when I moved out, and he hasn't done so since. Most likely because he hasn't seen all the stupid stuff I've done since then.

More often than not, alcohol is the catalyst for these types of things. If people turned to meditation instead of drinking, there would be a lot less domestic violence.

 

[BOOM headshot65]

I was alittle freaked out by my girlfriends stepdad. The dude worked on bulldozer engines for a living, so he didnt have arms.....he had tree-trunks that he claimed were arms. I dont really have to worry about that now though (for reasons that will not be stated for private reasons)