Having a delema.

[Nmil-ek]

your only what 25, 26? thats still young you have along time ahead of you and your problems are all workable, with abit of effort and willpower you can pull yourself out of any rut. Sounds like depression and have you considered taking a self diagnosis test for asphergers syndrome? common cause of strong anxiety and it can help maybe identify personality traits that hold you back i.e. procrastination.

 

[curlycrouton]

blare out some System of a Down and Slipknot.

I mean no offense to your taste in music (perhaps I am completely wrong), but that music tends to be more geared towards negative feeling rather than positive. Certainly, it can sympathise with your feelings, but it can't really combat them.

Music has great potential to make you feel a certain way. So may I suggest listening to some more upbeat music? I'd suggest some of Albert Hammond Jr.'s solo stuff, especially one called "Cartoon Music For Superheroes". Maybe try Lynrd Skynrd's "Free Bird" or "Sweet Home Alabama" if you're more into classic rock.

In general, just go for a walk in the sunshine, and smile all the way, even if you don't feel like it. Pick out everything positive and comment on it to yourself (in your mind, preferably, but it's up to you). It works for me whenever I feel hopelessly unhappy.

 

[garjian]

Oh, and about exercise, well, I mostly eat bad food (though I don't eat a lot) and I don't exercise much, but I do have enough willpower to do anything, so I usually spend around an hour to two hours just walking quickly while listening to music. And I disagree with avoiding metal, if you prefer a genre, stick with that. I personally like industrial because I like a nice beat and it fits perfectly with my fast pace.

So walk whenever you can and even more than that. Just for a start. Then start running. Jog with friend, family, whomever. Better to do it with company, trust me.

yeah... metals not a bad thing if its what you like... i listened to a lot of depressing music when i was like it and thats not harmed me...

but regular company will help... a lot...


personally id say the armed forces is a bad idea... i dont think being put even further down in the name of discipline would help...

i dunno... mental issues are best dealt with by yourself, everyones different...
do some soul searching, and just find something you like... even things you dont like... and do/dont do them...

 

[chunkydude84]

You clearly need professional help. I can't stretch enough how important for you is seeking it right away. You shouldn't blame yourself, I suspect this early age depression you're describing is a brain physiology problem, but with a decent therapist and probably pharmacological treatment, you can get a lot better. Loosing weight and making friends/finding love are your secondary goals, like I said, first of all you need to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. Bon't be ashamed of it or hestitate, trust me it's the first step on a way to better life.

I appreciate your advice, but I would be lying if I didn't say it angered me. The thought of a therapist further ingrains the idea that there is something wrong with me. That I'm a stigma to society that needs to be fixed for the greater good. But what hurts the most is that my father was suggesting the same thing not too long ago. It just further amplifies the feeling that I'm not the son he wanted.

 

[KaZZaP]

You my friend need to venture into the worlds of drugs.

 

[RedDiablo]

If i were you, I would try to boost my self-esteem first. I consider myself quite fat and anti-social, but I feel fine about myself. Despite the fact I'm no wrestler or movie star, I still feel good about myself. Try to get out more, and meet up with friend and make new ones. Go to the gym at least once a week, or even walk daily and try to at least lose a few pounds. And stop eating all those unhealthy foods.

The only reason why I'm not obese is cause I eat some healthy foods every once in a while. I know I sound like your personal life coach, but if you need to change, do it now. It won't help if all you're doing is posting on the Internet where people are bound to make fun of you.

 

[garjian]

umm... is everyone fat?

 

[Lukirre]

this seems exactly like my life
i wear glasses, and im overweight cos my asthma means its hard to excercise
apparently i am good looking, and have a good sense of humour, but then why have i never had a girlfriend?
but dont worry, listen to some good music, avoid metal.

I stopped reading there.

Unless people are listening to music for the sole purpose of feeling terrible, then yes, I would agree. However, if someone is having difficulty enjoying things within their life, I wouldn't suggest telling them to get rid of one of the last things that they do enjoy. The metal genre isn't about just feeling angry at everything, it's used as a cathartic expression of the feelings people don't usually want to have others see. If it's these feelings that are getting someone down because they're so pent up, then listen to all the damn metal you want, I say. To top it off, SOAD and Slipknot aren't metal.

If we want to focus on music, though, I recommend Thirteenth Step by A Perfect Circle or Lost Alone by Mind in a Box. Not metal, but they are definately beautiful works.

Aside from that, professional help would be your best way to go. There's only so much that Escapist members can do with their past experiences, but talking to someone who can look you in the eye and understand what's going on holds a monumental difference.

 

[JokerGrin]

You my friend need to venture into the worlds of drugs.

Negative.

This was probably a joke (I hope so anyway), but a couple of relations and some close friends of mine have all had severe downhill spirals as a result of drugs, which is why I stay away from the fucking things.

You're a lot better than you think Chunky, ignore the other thoughts because they're wrong.

 

[Jzolr0708]

It will be hard dude, but you CAN do it. Start out small. If you have a big weakness like I do, while mine is soda, just try and stop drinking it for a while. If you drink stuff with high calories, whenever you want it, drink a HUGE glass of water. If you eat things with high calories, try to stay away from it, and find a fruit or veggie you love. I'm an OJaholic and I LOVE cantolope, so whenever I see those god damn Doritos In the corner, I get a plate of Cantelope and eat it.

As for exercise, just try to run up and down your stairs 4 times every half an hour while watching TV, and work your way to Joggin 3 times a week. Try to listen to your Ipod while running.

You CAN do it. Save up, and maybe go back to college if you havent gotten a degree. Do something YOU like. Being happy at work will make you happier at home. And once you start to work out, you'll notice how happy you'll be. Dont do it dude. We dont want you to end up unhappy. Just try these tips, and come back here every once in a while. The community here will encourage you on. Good luck, friend

 

[sky14kemea]

I've had a great childhood. My parents were very loving and I never suffered any abuse. I have been given every opportunity to succeed in this world. Despite this, I see no future for myself. There is nothing motivating me to be somebody. Video games and books have been my way to escape from my line of thought, but lately they just aren't enough.

its like an online mirror
cept my dad was an ass...

i know how your feeling, people keep telling me i have no motivation, i dropped out of college because i hated it
you need to find a way of cheering yourself up, find something you like doing
but if you are a lot like me and dont "enjoy" that many things, become a member of an online community or something where you can make friends, even if its only for a week, ive joined loads of online games, they never lasted long but they cheered me up for a while

 

[Nmil-ek]

umm... is everyone fat?

Nope well I have abit of a belly should start working out again.

On the subject if you think your in a bad position and tell yourself you are you wont get out of it, I may only be 19 but I've had more than my fare share of life experiance wanted or not. Nothing wrong with seeking help from people during hard times, and think about where you usualy socialise, with whome, surley your more relaxed with friends near people/women tried telling them your situation?

 

[EeveeElectro]

Find your talent and aim for a career with it.
It's arguable that I have talent in writing, but I think I'll just end up in a dead end job I hate like the rest of my family.
I'm an optimist, but I had to agree with this;
"Aim low. Aim so low, people don't care if you fail."
I believe it's from the Simpson's?
Anyway, when a girl sees a guy has no confidence, she'll be put off. Focus on your good parts and make the most of it.
Us girls aren't that scary

Take a break from the Escapist. Go outside, exercise.
Have fun. Meet people.
Come back later.

???
PROFIT!!

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

This thread cheered me up without even being sad in the first place
But this place never ceases to amaze me. A guy just begs for criticism, and yet all of it (if there even is any) is constructive and positive.

Maybe there is after all some truth behind the claim, that The Escapist is the paradise island of intellect and good-will in the murky sea of retardation. Three cheers for all of you!

On topic, I´m afraid I can´t give any better advice than what the others have already given. Just listen to them. I´m very melancholic person by nature, and a nervous wreck, so I know something about what it´s like to struggle with yourself all the time. Don´t worry too much, you will be fine eventually. Take small steps, find something to strive for and keep going. It´s hard at times, but nothing you can´t overcome. And don´t hesitate to ask for help; It´s difficult to manage alone. Best of luck!

umm... is everyone fat?

Hardly.