Help me make a good excuse for my bruises!

[Marcus McLean]

Hello! No, this post is not about covering up any sort of domestic abuse. I have a bit of a problem. yesterday a girl that I assumed wasn't going to speak to me again called me after weeks and said she wanted to hang out today. I met her a couple of months ago on the train and she took my number, and we've had a couple of decent dates, but no kiss yet.

This would be the third date, and I'm hoping I get to go in for the kiss with this one cause yknow, if there's no kiss on the third date something must be wrong, right?
This is a pretty fine girl here. She's really fascinating and down to Earth and really want to impress her. Course I wanna look my best but I got this ugly bruise on my face.

It's pretty bad in person. I know, "it shouldn't matter", and I'm meeting her anyway, but I need an excuse for it. The real story is far too embarrassing (while procrastinating desperately I tried doing that thing where you press on your skin to leave white marks. apparently pinching hard causes bruising, who knew?).

I was gonna roll with "I was moving furniture and a wardrobe corner hit my face", but I'd rather hive something funny so it can be humorous rather than "please ignore this side of my face".
Any ideas? Also, this is not the kind of girl who'd be impressed if I said I got it in a fight.

 

[Zhukov]

... while procrastinating desperately I tried doing that thing where you press on your skin to leave white marks.

Wait... what?

Pinching your own face? That's a thing?

 

[Marcus McLean]

No, it's not. It's an extremely dumb thing I did out of boredom.

 

[Kitten DeLux]

Use true story;
Get plenty of lol's.
She might even share something similar or stupid herself.

 

[The_Blue_Rider]

Say you were fighting bears in the land of Skyrim.

Oh wait you want her to kiss you? Uh then just say you and some mates were flicking stuff at eachother with rubber bands, and you got hit.

Or be honest

 

[Smooth Operator]

You got into a bar fight with an Italian mobster... that line never fails.

 

[Bagged Milk]

you were rescuing a building full of orphan puppies from an evil dude who then proceeded to open fire. That bruise is where he shot you.

 

[Erana]

I would be disappointed if I were this girl and I found this post.

Its sweet that you want to be your best for her, but lying just isn't the way to do it. Anyway, when someone's actively trying to explain away a black eye, people get suspicious, and unless you're an incredible liar, its likely she (or even a bystander) will notice your untruth and immediately jump to the "domestic abuse" conclusion. >.>

(Lol, capcha. "puppy love")

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Use true story;
Get plenty of lol's.
She might even share something similar or stupid herself.

This... definitely this...!

There is no alternatice for the truth!

 

[w9496]

Say you got shot. Only a bruise.

Telling the truth may also work, and I doubt it will effect her vision of you since we all have stupid things we do, like pinching our faces.

 

[Yali]

Look at it this way... if the true story doesn't make her laugh she's probably not the right girl for you anyway.

 

[Ljs1121]

As others have said, simply tell the truth. The ladies love an honest man. (so I'm told)

 

[thePyro_13]

Fight club, but say you can't talk about it, since it's fight club.

 

[Marcus McLean]

Look at it this way... if the true story doesn't make her laugh she's probably not the right girl for you anyway.

A good point.

Fight club, but say you can't talk about it, since it's fight club.

I kinda like this one

 

[AngloDoom]

Use true story;
Get plenty of lol's.
She might even share something similar or stupid herself.

Pretty much this. I had a smile when I read your reasoning, and if the girl is interesting in you she might find it charming.

The alternative is "Something logical and reasonable happened and then I got bruised" which ends that discussion. Yours is "I did something stupid, how strange am I? Haha!" to which she may or may not share similar stories or, at least, laugh. If she suddenly goes "No, I cannot find a man attractive who does strange things when alone" then apparently she isn't the lady for you.

Simples.

 

[Clearing the Eye]

(Lol, capcha. "puppy love")

I swear that thing is sentient. It's watching... always watching and learning.

 

[Evilpigeon]

You share my surname, this is scary.

OT: Playing rugby, turned to recieve the final pass before a try and run into the goalpost - I have video of a friend of mine doing this

 

[DanielBrown]

Lie? But this is perfect!
Tell her the truth. If the laughs she craves your southern regions. If she stares at you with a weird look on her face she's just after free dinner.

 

[imnot]

Say you're the goddamm batman, and that you got them when Bane was fighting you.