Help me stop a zoophile

[default]

I'm sorry, but this thread has had me laughing my head off. I can't believe this is actually an issue in society, it's fucking insane! Let the man try and fuck a lion. This is too funny.

 

[Doclector]

In the words of a judge reading the ridiculous, immature arguments made by activision over brutal legend, "Dafuq did I just read?"

Somebody trying to have sex with a grown lion is a situation that's probably going to resolve itself.

Gonna have to agree there, though if I knew I'd still help, if only so I could get video footage of the undoubtedly hilarious animal justice.

 

[Dandark]

This is..............I don't even.................just no.

I highly doubt he is actully going to try and rape a lion. Also artwork does not mean he will actully do that, he will probably just leave it as a fantasy.

I think natural selection will sort this one out to be quite honest

And if it's not an April Fools joke, and the guy actually manages to fornicate with a lion without said lion killing him, I say let him do it; as Cracked.com would say, anyone with balls massive enough to bang a lion and get away with it deserves to do it. Also, anyone stupid enough to try and die, probably had it coming.

Also this.

 

[Screamarie]

What I find funny is that when it's this guys pets, animals that can't defend themselves as well as a lion and he actually has the evidence of admission it's none of his business...but when it's a lion, that can defend and kill this guy, when he's probably going to be working with others who will likely be watching his actions and leave him little alone time with the lion, now it's his business.

 

[King of Asgaard]

I'm going to go against the norm and say, let the guy have his fun.
I mean, who are you to deny this guy his fantasies?
Besides, he'll eventually make a mistake with one nasty predator, and he'll make the news.

 

[Whitbane]

Different strokes for different folks?

Oh God, what the hell is this and why am I typing a response?

 

[x EvilErmine x]

Spoiler: My reaction to reading this thread

Seriously though...nope...sorry cant do it....LOLing too hard.


I'm just imagining this guy trying to hit on a lion by walking up to it and saying 'Hey baby, does this drink taste like Rohypnol to you'

 

[Rastien]

okay first of all

So how does this guy doing the dirty with a... lion (seriously if he pulls this off balls intact well played) affect you personally?

If i'm honest im indifferent to the whole thing, if a dudes fucking peoples pets well that aint on but getting jiggy with a lion? aint my place to judge.

I would call troll but this is to retarded to be made up!

 

[GistoftheFist]

In before Danyal (in New Zealand so I know things a day in advance now).

Once you get that smoking gun evidence just use the age old tactic of public humiliation

Not a bad idea, really. Start up a Facebook profile, Twitter account, and Youtube channel under the guy's name. Put all of your evidence on there. Make some stuff up, if you have to. Make some stuff up even if you don't have to. Everybody wins.

I don't think that would be a good idea. I could get sued for slander if I did.

As for phoning authorities, there's a few problems with that. First off, I don't know who exactly to call because I don't know exactly where he's going to be travelling. Second, I can't prove 100% that he's going to attempt anything. (But after countless posts about past relationships with his pets and lots of artwork and written fantasies about lions, it's not hard to put two and two together.)

That's why i've been trying to find the right email addresses of wildlife authorities, so I could send all the info and let them sort it out. I don't know what specific game reserves are over there, nor if they even have phone numbers to get in contact with.

 

[Jonluw]

Hah, that's hilarious. Let him.
Just convince him to bring a video camera and stream it live. Say you have the same fetish or something. It shouldn't be that hard to convince him, seeing how it appears you own quite a few images of sex with lions.
When you get the stream, post it on the internet for our enjoyment.
Few things are more entertaining than watching a man being torn to pieces with his dick hanging out.

How about this: Don't stop him.
If he is somehow hurting the lions by having sex with them, I'm sure the lions will make that very clear.
If he's not hurting them, then why the hell does it matter and why do you want to stop him?

And why are you so worked up about this guy wanting to fuck a lion (which is likely to walk away from the incident unscathed) when he allegedly has admitted to abusing his pets (which are not likely to take it as easily).

 

[GistoftheFist]

Hah, that's hilarious. Let him.
Just convince him to bring a video camera and stream it live. Say you have the same fetish or something. It shouldn't be that hard to convince him, seeing how it appears you own quite a few images of sex with lions.
When you get the stream, post it on the internet for our enjoyment.
Few things are more entertaining than watching a man being torn to pieces with his dick hanging out.

How about this: Don't stop him.
If he is somehow hurting the lions by having sex with them, I'm sure the lions will make that very clear.
If he's not hurting them, then why the hell does it matter and why do you want to stop him?

And why are you so worked up about this guy wanting to fuck a lion (which is likely to walk away from the incident unscathed) when he allegedly has admitted to abusing his pets (which are not likely to take it as easily).

Oh I dunno, maybe because it's illegal?

 

[Jonluw]

Hah, that's hilarious. Let him.
Just convince him to bring a video camera and stream it live. Say you have the same fetish or something. It shouldn't be that hard to convince him, seeing how it appears you own quite a few images of sex with lions.
When you get the stream, post it on the internet for our enjoyment.
Few things are more entertaining than watching a man being torn to pieces with his dick hanging out.

How about this: Don't stop him.
If he is somehow hurting the lions by having sex with them, I'm sure the lions will make that very clear.
If he's not hurting them, then why the hell does it matter and why do you want to stop him?

And why are you so worked up about this guy wanting to fuck a lion (which is likely to walk away from the incident unscathed) when he allegedly has admitted to abusing his pets (which are not likely to take it as easily).

Oh I dunno, maybe because it's illegal?

Because the law is always moral and correct. Yeeeeah...
Plus, in many countries it is not illegal.
What is illegal is animal abuse. Certain kinds of sexual relations with animals (such as those with animals as small as housepets) is harmful to the animals and thus counts as abuse.
Why aren't you reporting him for claiming to have sexual relations with his pets?
His desire to have sex with lions is really the least harmful aspect of his character.

 

[GistoftheFist]

Because I didn't know about it until a few years after he posted about it. And again, report to who exactly? It's not like cops will kick down someone's door when you report them for beastiality. I don't even know if admitting it on your Livejournal counts or has any legal weight.

Also, I don't have any "images of sex with lions" like you're talking about. I have screenshots of his journal entries where he talks about it and bemoans the loss of his dog's balls since they "had a relationship at one point".

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Because I didn't know about it until a few years after he posted about it. And again, report to who exactly? It's not like cops will kick down someone's door when you report them for beastiality. I don't even know if admitting it on your Livejournal counts or has any legal weight.

Also, I don't have any "images of sex with lions" like you're talking about. I have screenshots of his journal entries where he talks about it and bemoans the loss of his dog's balls since they "had a relationship at one point".

Can we see these screen shots or perferably the actual journal?

I have to admit, as much as it is cruelty to animals.... this isn't like he's raping a dog, he'd be raping a lion. A big hungry monster that would do worse then rape if it had it's way.

Also, damn.... ya know some people want to be successful in life, some want to find the cure for cancer, or to travel... this fuckers dream is to fuck a lion. Meditate on that for a while.

 

[laggyteabag]

Im sorry, but if he finds himself sexually attracted to a Lion, there must be only one reason...

 

[Owen Majkowski]

Is he going to give the lion a "Lion King"?

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I don't know if this guy might just be a furry or this might be a joke or prank, but for the majority of answers that said "The lion can defend itself", keep in mind that someone working with wild animals will probably have access to tranquilizers and other drugs.

[color=FF1493]Lion date rape, folks, it happens. Just because it's a lion doesn't mean it can't get raped[/color].

Zoofies?

Hilarious to see our responses involved pretty much the same things; a lot of confusion and stating the obvious<3.

I know right... to be frank, I didn't really have a clue what to say! All I could think of was why the OP's first reaction to the problem was to jump onto the forums of a gaming website to try and get the numbers of wildlife park, and national park owners in Africe... :/

But it is funny that we jumped to exactly the same conclusion... I could imagine the Fry from Futerama meme... 'Not sure if troll, or actual genuine problem...'

...

From recent experience I have learnt that the best way to try and solve a problem in Africa is to spend lots of money on a half hour video where you flit around the problem and then simplyfy it so a 6 year old can understand... actually I would love to see a vid of someone explaining lion rape by a human to a 6 year old... Also you need lots of posters and arm bands, and possibly some naiive celebraties... Oh, and you need some affiliations with a corupt militia!

Alternatively you should avoid the advice of someone with an overactive satirical-gland!

 

[DANEgerous]

Hah, that's hilarious. Let him.
Just convince him to bring a video camera and stream it live. Say you have the same fetish or something. It shouldn't be that hard to convince him, seeing how it appears you own quite a few images of sex with lions.
When you get the stream, post it on the internet for our enjoyment.
Few things are more entertaining than watching a man being torn to pieces with his dick hanging out.

How about this: Don't stop him.
If he is somehow hurting the lions by having sex with them, I'm sure the lions will make that very clear.
If he's not hurting them, then why the hell does it matter and why do you want to stop him?

And why are you so worked up about this guy wanting to fuck a lion (which is likely to walk away from the incident unscathed) when he allegedly has admitted to abusing his pets (which are not likely to take it as easily).

Oh I dunno, maybe because it's illegal?

Want to know a depressing yet hilarious fact?

Spoiler

In the US it is legal in more states than gay marriage is

 

[GistoftheFist]

I don't know if this guy might just be a furry or this might be a joke or prank, but for the majority of answers that said "The lion can defend itself", keep in mind that someone working with wild animals will probably have access to tranquilizers and other drugs.

[color=FF1493]Lion date rape, folks, it happens. Just because it's a lion doesn't mean it can't get raped[/color].

Zoofies?

Hilarious to see our responses involved pretty much the same things; a lot of confusion and stating the obvious<3.

I know right... to be frank, I didn't really have a clue what to say! All I could think of was why the OP's first reaction to the problem was to jump onto the forums of a gaming website to try and get the numbers of wildlife park, and national park owners in Africe... :/

But it is funny that we jumped to exactly the same conclusion... I could imagine the Fry from Futerama meme... 'Not sure if troll, or actual genuine problem...'

...

From recent experience I have learnt that the best way to try and solve a problem in Africa is to spend lots of money on a half hour video where you flit around the problem and then simplyfy it so a 6 year old can understand... actually I would love to see a vid of someone explaining lion rape by a human to a 6 year old... Also you need lots of posters and arm bands, and possibly some naiive celebraties... Oh, and you need some affiliations with a corupt militia!

Alternatively you should avoid the advice of someone with an overactive satirical-gland!

No it wasn't "my first reaction" to post here. Did you not read what I typed? I said I sent the info to those email addresses a month ago. Also, i've posted in several different forums not just this one. I also don't get why there's all this hostility brewing in the topic. Have nothing helpful? That's fine. You're also aiming your satire at the wrong person.

 

[redisforever]

To be honest, I think a lion has personal defenses agains sexual predators... some fucking big claws!

Ummm... I don't really know what to suggest... errr... he has issues...!

Yeah, I mean, if he tries to have sex with a lion, the lion will take care of this problem very quickly. And painfully.