Help! Monsters have got us!

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

My niece and I are trapped in the bathroom with monsters outside the door. The lights are off, the door keeps being banged and sometimes they try for the door handle! What should we do?

[sub][sub]Babysitting her is fun ^.^[/sub][/sub]

 

[repeating integers]

Invite the monsters in for some... er... soap?

 

[Blue Hero]

Get the fuck outta the bathroom. The monsters need to use the bathroom and you're just sitting in the dark. Don't be a dick to the monsters.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Get the fuck outta the bathroom. The monsters need to use the bathroom and you're just sitting in the dark. Don't be a dick to the monsters.

But they want to eat us! D:

 

[Blue Hero]

Get the fuck outta the bathroom. The monsters need to use the bathroom and you're just sitting in the dark. Don't be a dick to the monsters.

But they want to eat us! D:

In Monsterese, "I want to eat you" sounds a lot like "I need to take a shit". You're probably just misunderstanding them.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Get the fuck outta the bathroom. The monsters need to use the bathroom and you're just sitting in the dark. Don't be a dick to the monsters.

But they want to eat us! D:

In Monsterese, "I want to eat you" sounds a lot like "I need to take a shit". You're probably just misunderstanding them.

Well my Niece is too scared, I don't know what we're going to do :/

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Tell her this to ease her mind :3

 

[Demonicdan]

Watch Batman, even monsters like Batman.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Oof, apparently we are now Zombies. My best efforts failed!

Now if you excuse me we have to find food.

 

[DasDestroyer]

Eat the monsters, they're nutritious!

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Hasn't she seen Monster's inc. ?

Monsters are SCARED of humans, specifically kids! If a kid touches them, they could get a severe allergic reaction that will make them sick!

So tell your niece to get out there and rush at them while laughing diabolically!

 

[Panorama]

If your a zombie, do you have to eat, according to the Zombie survival guide, they don't need to eat or even breath, it is just a bi-product of formally being alive.

 

[Jedamethis]

Well, being zombies, I reckon you can scare off whatever monsters are outside. Shouting works.

 

[SD-Fiend]

open the door and take a piss on them when they try to enter. the best result is that it will be disgusted and leave the worst result is that it just get's madder and the more worse than that result is that peeing on one another is part of a monster love ritual and the monster that you just pee'd on is really lonely (and the gender that you're not into)

 

[Gottesstrafe]

Are we talking silly monsters like from Pixar's Monsters Inc., scary monsters like from survival horror games, "Monsters" in quotations of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight fame, monsters that are the result of human hubris or incontinence such as Frankenstein or zombies, Lovecraftian monsters beyond time and space who are only portrayed as monsters because they are ancient unknowable creatures that exist beyond insignificant human concepts such as morality or constraint, psychological horror monsters where "perhaps the biggest monster is the depths of human depravity" monsters, Japanese horror monsters who spend most of their time walking down hallways at you or watching you from a distance without really doing anything, larger than life monsters that like to duke it out in a battle royale set over major population centers like Godzilla vs. King Kong or Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, or that monster that eats cookies on Sesame St.?

 

[IamLEAM1983]

You're both zombies, now?

Well, mature zombies eat brains, but I heard that juveniles get nourishment out of tickling monsters until they cry. Maybe your niece would like that.

 

[lacktheknack]

If you have a mirror across from the door, there's a way out. Move your niece out of the way and tell her to keep her eyes closed. Then chant "Bloody Mary" into the mirror repeatedly. Ignore the horrific hag that appears. When you see an axe, and it begins to move at you quickly, turn and fling the door open and duck. Then take your niece (who DID close her eyes, right?) and escap-

Oh, you're zombies. Drat.

You'd better throw a brain party now. A blob of strawberry ice cream and a minute of careful knifework should do the trick.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

All monsters hate water. This is fact. If that fails, use shampoo bottles to fire shampoo at the monsters.[sub]I'm totally not trying to get you to ruin the house.[/sub]