TriSarahTops said:
Ok ok i get it... I dont fit in, i do understand these things. but i try so hard to make people like me and all i get is a face full of shit.
Sarah, if that is indeed your real name ( and if it is you should chang your avatars name) the person above me just said don't bother trying to please people. That is the WORST advice you can give. You say you moved alot, well, then we have something in common. I've moved about 5 times alone in the city im currently in and if things go right with our family business then i'll be mov'n to australia. I've move across the country and to other countries and back again. If there is one thing i've learned, it's try to please people.
Obviously you're not going to make friends if your a ***** to everyone. You said you have a boyfriend, then you might fall into the trap of thinking that's enough. It's NOT. Everybody, every freak'n human on this god forsaken planet has social needs. NEEDS not wants. You need to have friends to be mentally healthy.
( I personally want to disagree but I can't find an example that favors my argument.)
So be nice to people. In fact you said your self that people are mean and not nice. You know why? because people are terrified of what others think and they think that being cold makes them look cold, cool and mysterious. I know i used to think that way, and sometimes catch myself still thinking like that.
Ironically, when they find other people are acting like that to them they often take offense. Then they become even more secluded from others. Now because you move alot you doubtless have hit the situation where people have grown up together and feel comfortable around eachother, but that sometimes means they are less accepting of outsiders. This means
you have to convince them your not a bad person, and have stuff incommon, etc... but how do you do this if you suck at first impressions and stutter e-every
o-oth-other w-w-word? Be nice. it's as simple as that but don't be whipped. I f someone pushes you punch em in the face. Guy or girl. I'm half black half white and look asian so im the the most likley end product of humanity if we live that long. As such I'm the bear the brunt of almost all the racist jokes in my click. But I know they are not actually racist. If they were I wouldn't hang with them. The reason they make those jokes around me is because 1) They're immature 2) They understand I don't givee a damn about race since I made my peace on that subject long ago so sorry black people don't care how oppresed your are, were, whatever. I'm more worried about the human race in general the petty pathetic racial squabbles. 3) It's a JOKE. Yeah it's mean, immorral and all that fun stuff that makes up the majority of the human psychy but it's also funny, at least to me, because I can appreciate the joke for its wit, not its discriminatory aspects like the kkk would. I guess Im trying to say make peace with yourself, it will be hard, but omg is it ever worth the peace of mind and ability to change. And if your anything like me, you need to change alot.
I have a very good friend who is perhaps the coolest most down to earth person I know and is also the NICEST person I know. Think Naruto crossed with Sasuke. All the coolness and niceness, but no umm murderous intent or spontanious "You can do IT!!!"s, well maybe a little. Point is when I'm with them, I feel like an asshole cause i often swear, or make insensitive remarks that i don't really mean and upon reflection, can't understand why i said them except to look cool. That makes me feel like dying of embaressment. So now i takecourses and read books about talking, responding and understanding communication between people. It actually helps alot. I probbablysound like a loser but if your thinking that then thats your first mistake. Try neutrality when seeing, hearing or reading things. Try as best you can to eliminate your prejudices no matter how small. Of course unless your super intune with yourself this is probbably impossible but try it any way. When you see something stupid ask yourself why is that stupid? Try to come up with an answer other than " 'Cause it's weird." Being more accepting often leads one to more curiosity and therefore learning. I never in a million years would be would've been caught dead with anime or other dorky japanese shit. But now I'm hooked cause I tried to see it without pre determined prejudice. I still like modern american pop culture but now i'm also into european and asian pop culture as well. If people see you're accepting they will feel comfortable around you, and won't be afraid or cold or mean or whatever. So be nice and accepting even if they are not. Trust me, I've moved alot and it's worked for me every time.
Rant rant rant.... heres some tips
If you want people to talk to you but you suck at it like i do, then get them talking. Ask about their hobbies, interests, so on and so forth. If they change a subject and seem embaressed by it or scoff at something, try to find out why. If they are embaressed by it, show them it's no big deal, not even a small one at that. Maybe your even a little interested in it. Everyone has at least one thing they do thats extremly embarasssing, so if you show them it doesn't matter to you they will freak'n love you. If something makes you uncomfortable about them, either confront them about it and let them know it's weirding you out but they should'nt feel embaressed. Or you can hide it and learn to accept it over time ( which is what I do and I havn't hurt anybodies feelings yet) I know that sounds like bad advice but if you know that you can accept something with a little time and effort why make a deal out of it?
off track.... How do you get people talking about themselves? ( It can be harder than it looks since you usually talk about yourself, yes, you do.)
With a technique called parroting. Ussually you just repeat what they say with a a a whats it called? You know where your voice gets higher at the end of a sentence to make it sound like a question. I think my rant is longer than yours by now, but thats ok cause I'm trying to help you become a better person, not to insinuate that you are not a good person, but there is room for improvment in all of us. Espescially those of us who think they have life all figured out. That means YOU adults.
Here' a good example. Incest! A friend of mine was dating his cousin for a while. 1st cousin. And fucking her. Sorry, having intimate sexual relations(better?) No, he's not from the south. Ha! I caught you stereotyping ( or feeling offended if your from the south, suck it up it's a fucking joke.) Anywho, I had to wrestle with this akward feeling for a while. Is incest wrong? If yes then why? I came up with a good double edged answer that made me feel like an ignorant asshole. Because if two people closleyrelated mate the resulting child could have something wrong with it. ( I say wrong as in impairment of some sort, not wrong morally and I have both mentally and physically handicapped friends who I'm totally comfortable so suck it.) Who wants a retarded baby? No one. If the human race could find a way to rid us of disablities we would. (killng all people with disabilities aside.) So we try to find ways to avoid that at all cost. Now here's the sad part. Why do you need to have a baby?
There are thousands of unwanted children everywhere in th world ( because you know, humans are sooooo nice.) The related couple could simply adopt. So unless your dead set against raising other peoples babies( give me a logical reason why) what's the problem?
Exactly. No logical problem. If we reach a point where there are no orphans then I guess, actually, no it'd still be okay logically since the situations that entails would make any form of discrimination mute. But now i'm totally ok with incest. not for or against just accepting.
Uggh i love ranting, i go off topic sooo easily. Anyways, either attain trancendence and become a hermit who needs no other, or learn to change. Good luck to you
ps: If this post offended anyone, too bad your immature, suck on it.
