Hey, got any good jokes? Let's share them! ("Corny to the point of being funny" jokes welcome too!)

[madwarper]

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "You know how to drive this thing?"

Ham and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve breakfast here."

Spoiler: Masonic Joke

A Masonic lodge had suffered intense fire damage and were forced to hold their meetings elsewhere while repairs were made. They rented the conference room at a local hotel, which was across the lobby from the check-in desk. During one of the meetings, a man checking into the hotel asked what was going on in the conference room. The manager told him that the Masonic hall had fire damage and they were holding their meetings in the hotel for the time being. The man admitted that he was curious about the Masons and asked the manager if they were difficult to join. The manager replied, "I can't say for sure, but that guy has been knocking on the door for the past 3 months and they still haven't let him in."

 

[Robot n.o 9124791234]

Why couldn't Jesus be born in Australia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin

 

[Goofguy]

Here's a mix of inoffensive and crass jokes:


What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Spoiler

Keep the tip

How was copper wire invented?

Spoiler

Two Jews fighting over a penny

Mahatma Gandhi walked everywhere barefoot and so the soles of his feet were thick and very hard. He was known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He undertook hunger strikes as a form of political protest and at times was both thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his weird diet, he suffered from bad breath.

Spoiler

Therefore, you could say he was a "super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"

A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"


A guy goes to see his doctor for his yearly medical
The doctor says "You're going to have to stop masturbating"
The guy asks "Why is that?"
The doctor responds "Because I'm trying to give you a medical"