Hilarious Quotes.

[Gerazzi]

The funniest things that you caught yourself saying.

For me,
Mom: "You'll find God"
Me: "Face down at the bottom of a well."

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

Before my 3rd capture on 2Fort (Team Fortress 2) "Someone get an Axtinguisher, because I'm on fire!""

 

[findler]

I've started saying "giggity" rather than "that's what she said" at those killer obvious moments. It gets more laughs, however cheap they are.

 

[mikecoulter]

Hmm, can't remember any of mine.

But....

Jeremy Clarkson - "Chinese people have no souls".

 

[Tinblitz]

"what the Jesus?" - I just say it all the time.

 

[ae86gamer]

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson

 

[sms_117b]

Me - "You're so dense you're a singularity"

 

[dontworryaboutit]

"I'm dramatically underexposed. I demand more attention." ~Morrissey

Oh balls I misread this. Gimmie a mo.

 

[Gerazzi]

Oh, right
Fwiend 1: What?
Fwiend 2: We're not on the same page here...
Me: you're not on the same book

 

[traceur_]

The shuffle is just a slightly coordinated seizure.

 

[Gerazzi]

The shuffle is just a slightly coordinated seizure.

oh jesus that's funny

 

[Aura Guardian]

 

[El Poncho]

We were talking about feminism in Religous Studys (before i start im not sexist in anyway) the teacher asked me my opinion and i said ''Well, feminists are strong intelligent independant people(the teacher at this point was smiling) until things get a little bit difficult(her face dropped and all the boys laughed ofc)

 

[Gerazzi]

Sitting in a class doing a group presentation ( god i hate those) sitting discussing what we should do one of our members says right what are we doing i just blurted out, your mom, just because i could

Holy crap, I must leave these forums at once, for I have witnessed the pinnacle of enlightenment.

He's like god with old jokes

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

"Are you homophobic because you're scared that all gay men are attracted to you? Becuse if that's the case, I think you're safe."

I haven't actually used this yet, but oh well. Just need the right opportunity.

 

[Zersy]

You think lifes hard ! Try Death ! (forgot when though)

Shave your F%cking ass ! (I said it at the best time)

Very nice comeback but can you kindly say one that makes sense and actually is true ?

 

[Gerazzi]

Sitting in a class doing a group presentation ( god i hate those) sitting discussing what we should do one of our members says right what are we doing i just blurted out, your mom, just because i could

Holy crap, I must leave these forums at once, for I have witnessed the pinnacle of enlightenment.

He's like god with old jokes

*bows* now why must you pick on me there mus be others *name away*

Yours was the most overdone.

 

[Rascarin]

This wasn't me, but my sister. We were talking to my mum about her constant sun bathing and how she thinks its good for getting rid of spots. I said "Yeah, but it'll turn your skin all leathery", to which my sister responded "And then we'll have to call you shoe-zanne" (for the idiots among you, its a play-on-words because mums name is Suzanne).

Another one from my sister. She randomly said one day; "Whoever said "pi r squared" was wrong. Traditional pie are circle."

 

[sky14kemea]

me and my friends were watching this movie called Black Sheep

anywho, there's a scene where the sheep crashes its head through a door and baa's at them, and when that happened i said "Here~'s JOHNNY!"
it made everyone laugh =D my finest moment

 

[newguy77]

I heard this one from someone else and probably will never use it.
"You're so fat it effects your self esteem."