Hilarious Quotes.

[Deleric]

"I have a time machine at home. Except it only goes forward at regular speed."

 

[Kajin]

Me - "You're so dense you're a singularity"

hahaha
that is SO nerdy

 

[Womlet]

i was picking on my friend one time about something when he suddenly turned to me and said:
"shut up, you gouche cake!"

a guy at work was talking to another man about the weather. when the man turned to the guy and said incredibly casually: "I know what you mean, my ballsack smells like sour milk."

i was sitting at a table with three of my freinds and they were talking about baseball(all of them play i do not). they then turned to me and asked my opinion on something about the subject to which i replied: "i ate a ham once!"

said while playing halo after a few drinks "This shotguns good, better than most!"

 

[Timotei]

Whenever I beat someone down on Fallout 3 that wears a hat I always take it and yell out "This is my hat now!!!".

I love that movie

 

[Boxmeister]

my boyfriend: "Yeah, Randy Bachman's a dick... but he made good music."
me: "And I'm sure Hitler made good cake."

 

[hungoverbear]

I said this at work, while closing, dishes and pans slamming and people yelling, very noisy place. After my coworker told me about all the shady girls he's slept with i looked at my female coworker and said, out loud so everyone can hear me

"see this is why im celebate!"

everyone stopped what they were doing, shut up, and stared at me in shock. The exact reaction i was hoping for XD

note: no im not celebate

 

[Insanum]

"MAH BOOMSHINE!"

Having recently investing in the console that plays this game, I had to pause as i crashed from Lol'ing so hard.

 

[Yeager942]

I can't think of any so I'll just use some Strangelove:

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!"

 

[Soulgaunt]

Whenever I beat someone down on Fallout 3 that wears a hat I always take it and yell out "This is my hat now!!!".

I love that movie

That is full of win.

 

[LilGherkin]

From Entourage "Let's Hug It Out, *****"

Also, "Hachi-Machi"

 

[Timotei]

Whenever I beat someone down on Fallout 3 that wears a hat I always take it and yell out "This is my hat now!!!".

I love that movie

That is full of win.

You've seen that movie too?

 

[Soulgaunt]

Whenever I beat someone down on Fallout 3 that wears a hat I always take it and yell out "This is my hat now!!!".

I love that movie

That is full of win.

You've seen that movie too?

Yes, yes I have.

 

[Varamathras]

A girl at work was joking about a guy's mom. For jest.

He yells in, " don't insult my mama, I love my mama."

I just had to say, "I love your mama too."

 

[Timotei]

Whenever I beat someone down on Fallout 3 that wears a hat I always take it and yell out "This is my hat now!!!".

I love that movie

That is full of win.

You've seen that movie too?

Yes, yes I have.

"Hwhiskey"