Illogical Magic
It's magic; suspend your disbelief. If magic worked in a logical, predictable manner, what would be the point of it? If magic is just tantamount to advanced technology, a tool to expand narrative possibility, there's nothing unique about it. Supernatural elements in stories are a trade off, and there's no point in including them unless your getting something in return for the extra confidence your asking from your audience. Remember when Lucas tried to explain the Force? Remember how much that pissed people off? The lack of rational explanation, the ethereal nature of magic, is the source of it's appeal. It should trigger that primeval part of the human mind that doesn't insist that things make rational sense. The same part that fears the bump in the night that you try to explain away but are somehow unable to; the same part that wonders what mysteries are held by the endless, unexplored reaches of the universe. Trying to frame magic in terms of logic and science deprives it of it's... well... MAGIC.
Professor Rock Troll's School for Gifted Ice Gods
Yeah, this decision by Elsa and Anna's parents doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I don't think it's the gaping plot hole it's typically framed as. I just assumed that the King and Queen were paranoid about their daughter's abilities and made an emotionally fueled, irrational decision. Plus, they died, so it's possible that no one else in the nobility even knew the trolls existed. As for Elsa herself, again, she's frightened of her own power, and the whole point of the story is her learning that she doesn't need to be.
BOOM, HEADSHOT!
I refer you to my previous comments. I have a feeling that your submitted essay on the thoroughly documented scientific effects of Ice Magic would not go over well with experts.
What is Love!? Baby, don't hurt me...
There's really nothing to be said of your opinion on the themes of the film. Personally, I don't take issue with love as a central idea in story telling, but I do take issue with how it's often overblown. Love is a powerful enough emotion and source of inspiration by itself, it doesn't need supernatural powers backing it up. What matters is that Elsa loves her sister, the idea of love also being an arbitrary curative for destructive magic is unnecessary, and diverts focus from the power love already has in the real world. Since love also needs to be the reason that Anna is saved, I understand their decision, but I'm not convinced a more grounded approach could not have been concocted. As for Elsa's confinement, this is a central plot point and theme. The idea isn't just that Elsa needs to feel love for Anna, she also has to express it so that the two of them can actually enjoy and benefit from that connection.
Stranger Danger
I cannot fathom what your issue is with Hans. None of the actions you presented as examples of his heroic nature are proof of it. I want to draw attention to a basic fact that is often ignored in movies; Lying is not a difficult thing to do. People lie all the time, in fact. Were you expecting Hans to try and connect with Anna, and then be unable to hold in his raging murderous instincts, causing him to explode in a psychotic frenzy and try to cut her in half? I think learning to play a part would be a pretty major aspect of growing up as a power hungry aristocrat, no?
Why does Hans act like he loves Anna? Because he wants to marry her and be king; can't do that if she refuses.
Why does Hans risk his life to saver Anna? Because he wants to marry her and be king; can't do that if she's DEAD.
Why does Hans not murder Anna's sister? Because she probably won't marry him if he murders her sister.
Why does Hans act kindly towards the populace of the kingdom he wants to run? Because he wants the residents of this foreign land he plans to covertly take over to like him, so that nobody suspect that he doesn't give a shit about them and revolt, and also because the rulers of this land will probably not want him to join their family if he treats their people like shit.
Why does Hans betray Anna and leave her to die? Because all he cares about is ruling her kingdom, and she's no use to him anymore. Better to skip the Princess and move straight for the Queen.
Why does Hans not cackle under his breath, rant about his evil plan, and generally act like a complete psychopath? Because most psychopaths don't want people to KNOW that they're psychopaths, so they don't act like psychopaths (Example: Real life serial killers).
Why does Hans act all heroic, and kind, and shit like that? Because he wants people to think he's heroic, and kind, and shit like that, as opposed to a ruthless killer (Example: Real life serial killers).
This is something I appreciate about the film; people don't fall in love over night, people lie, and being careless with your desires and feelings is just as dangerous as never expressing them. As for why Hans motivation is not just spelled out in the first five minutes, that's because having the audience in on the plot twist would undermine it's effects. We're supposed to understand why Anna could be taken in by this guy; what better way to do that than to have the audience get taken for the exact same ride?
Let it Show, Let it Show! Can't Explain the Plot Any More!
How do we know that Hans is actually a ruthless tyrant? Well, that becomes apparent when he attempts to murder Anna in cold blood.
The idea of "Show don't tell", is that you should demonstrate important aspects of your story instead of coldly informing your audience of them, because they won't emotionally internalize how important a piece of information is if it's delivered via lifeless exposition. "Show don't tell" doesn't mean you can't surprise your audience, or that you have to spell everything out for them, or that you can't leave them in the dark about certain things for dramatic effect.
How Kirstof and Anna Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Reindeer
Sorry you missed the memo, but that montage was only the span of a few hours at the most. The sun never rises, and when they go to see Elsa about getting engaged, the ball is still in full swing. Not much else to say there.
Something I would like to point out; I don't remember Kirstof and Anna ever actually saying they were in love. I remember Olof and the trolls pushing them into it, presumably because they were tired of Kirstof living at home and were concerned about his relationship with his increasingly perverse sexual fantasies. I could be wrong, but I think the operative idea here is that Anna and Kirstof aren't rushing into a commitment or projecting their fantasies onto each other. I can totally buy them developing attraction to each other having lived through a perilous situation together, and the film doesn't end with them getting hitched or anything, they just like each other.
It's time to revisit show don't tell. While it's true that Kirstof and Anna don't literally spend that much more time together than Hans and Anna, we the audience see a lot more of the prior relationship. The film subverts "Love at first sight" not by giving us a relationship that is literally different, but by allowing the audience to connect with a relationship over time instead of instantly. We get to know Kristof over the course of the whole movie, where as Hans and Anna's relationship is communicated in a matter of minutes over a song.
The key term here is metaphor. Hans and Kirstof's time spent with Anna are literally different; Hans and Anna have a bit less time, Hans is being dishonest, Anna is projecting a preconceived fantasy onto the relationship, and the two of them commit to a marriage; Anna and Kirstof have about three times as much time to get to know each other, the two of them are always up front about who they are, they start out as friends and don't try to define the relationship before it has a chance to develop, and they ultimately just express how they feel without committing to anything long term (Kirstof has to take some time to get therapy; his lack of human contact and sexual fascination with reindeer took him to a dark place...).
But more importantly, the two relationships are metaphorically different. The way the film presents the relationship with Hans to the audience is steeped in theatrics and unrealistic fantasy; the whole things is a song full of extraordinary imagery. While Kristof does get a song as well, his relationship with Anna is a great deal more grounded. They just talk, hang out, and go through some shit together.
One is a fantasy of a perfect love that doesn't exist, where the people involved are secondary to the idea of love itself. The other is a realistic relationship between two flawed people, where the trappings and glamour of romance are of less importance than the connection between the participants.
I'm not here to argue that this is some great love story; I think it's perfectly decent, but it didn't make my heart sing. It is, however, entirely appropriate for the overarching themes of the film.
A 300 page long, excruciatingly detailed essay on why Frozen's songs are the pinnacle of human achievement, followed by my book "Let It Go: Our National Anthem in All but Name"
Just kidding. I could take or leave most of the songs. In the interest of full disclosure: My favorite is Let it Go; catchy, decent lyrics, fits the story. My least favorite is Little Bit of Love; I neither understood most of the lyrics, nor do I care to. Doesn't fit the story quite so well.
Anna as a Character
Not a whole lot to say on that front. I did get a good chuckle out of the image of a giddy Disney cartoon plummeting to her death mid song. I'll just say that I don't have a problem with her and leave it at that.
Masterpiece?
To answer your last question; no I don't think Frozen is excellent. I have overall net positive feelings about the film, but I'm not head over heels for it like some people are. It's a good film that differs from the norm in some appreciable ways, but it's not gonna light my world on fire.
